Cole (The Leaves) (17 page)

Holy. Fuck.

It was her painting. Our painting. I ran through the house, around the corner, up the first flight of stairs to the bedroom, but I knew exactly where she was and without stopping I made my final ascent to the top floor and stopped in the doorway. Panting, breathless I took in the beauty before me that was her. My lover, my savior, my friend, my ally. She was naked, her back to me, her light brown hair falling just at her shoulders.

“Can you see it Cole?” She asked me without turning around.

“Yes baby, I can.” I quickly undressed and left everything at my feet and approached her. This wasn’t about sex, it was about our connection and the fact I needed to hold her in my arms and watch the scene before us, together. I wrapped my fingers around her hips and pulled her with me to the bed. I eased her back gently to lay against my chest.

“I thought I’d find you painting.” I said.

She didn’t say anything for a long time. I listened to her breathing, waiting to see how she was reacting to this most recent life changing event, but nothing happened. I ran my fingers through her hair, arranged the sheet and thick comforter around us, and settled back in.

“Cole?”

“Yeah?

“Thank you.”

I answered her by pulling her even tighter against me. I was so worried about the idea of hurting her by introducing a piece of her painful past, but after I’d met John, I just knew it was right. I was happy I’d been able to help her heal, even if it was just this part. I would never be able to erase the fucked up shit her mom put her through, but I could certainly help her make new, happy memories.

“Cole?”

“Yeah?”

“Please, don’t ever leave me.”

I sat up behind her, turning her around in my arms. “Look at me.” I demanded. It took her what felt like an eternity to raise her eyes to meet mine. “Why would you say that?” She didn’t answer, she just looked back down, but I could feel anger building. “Fuckin’ answer me, Anika.” My heart was racing and I had no idea why I was reacting to her this way. Actually, I knew exactly why I was reacting this way. I gently lifted her chin with my fingertips and decided a different approach was needed.

“Anika… please look at me.” When she finally did, I could see her eyes were full with unshed tears.

“Why are you angry?” She asked.

“I’m not angry. I’m… frustrated.”

“Why? Actually, don’t answer that. I feel, God Cole, I’ve gone from trying my damnedest not to feel anything to being bombarded by emotions all the damn time. Drama, drama, drama!” She just shook her head back and forth and I couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Really? You think this is funny?” She asked sarcastically.

“Anika, I think you need to hear what I have to say. I’ll say it once so you understand.”

She thought for a moment, then answered in a small voice, “Okay.”

“Hold my hands. Brace yourself baby, because I need you to hear me, really hear me… the final time that Joe called, when he didn’t let me talk to you… I couldn’t think of a single reason to try to find anything in this world to live for if you weren’t a part of it. When I left the house for you to discover the ring and my proposal, I wanted to give you that space. I didn’t want to rush you, but when I came back and you weren’t there, I thought I’d scared you off, that you had finally come to your senses and decided I was too much for you. Too intense, too fast, whatever. Again, I thought, what is the point of living after you’ve had a taste of pure happiness and love dangled in your face, in your heart, only to have it taken away. It was first time in thirteen years I’d entertained the thought-”

“No, Cole. Don’t even say it.” She turned my hands over and ran her thumbs over my scarred wrists. “I get it.”

“Do you really, Anika? Because I’m surprised we’re talking about this again to be honest with you.”

“I’m tired, Cole. This is all just really fucking exhausting. It’s too much. I just need a break.”

I hated to ask, but I had to. “Do you want to postpone the wedding?”

I heard her exhale like I’d punched her in the gut. “Oh my God, Cole, of course not. But I need you to promise me something… if you can.”

“Oh, thank fuck. I was worried for a second there.”

“Oh no… I am totally going to marry you next week.” She smiled wide and it reached her eyes with a sparkle, until she recalled what it was she wanted to ask me and just as quickly, I watched the happiness leave her face. “If you find her, if she’s alive, I don’t want to know. Today was good Cole. It was wonderful. I knew almost instantly he didn’t leave by choice, it was all her. Whether she was sick or not, I can forgive her in a small way. I think she was a sick woman and the amount of drugs Joe gave her combined with alcohol didn’t help that. But I don’t think anything she could possibly say can make me forget. Not enough to have her in my life. My dad is different; he didn’t hurt me on purpose. He left because she told him to.”

“Will you regret it? I mean, do you think you’ll regret it if you don’t get to have that closure?”

She thought about it and I waited for her answer. She looked out the studio windows, over the darkening sky. The storm was moving more quickly now, the dark inky water, choppy with white caps. “I read a book once. A love story about a couple that was kept apart. The girl’s father convinced the boy she loved, she’d be better off without him. Well, years later they reconnect and he explains why he left her sitting on their dock, waiting to run away with him, but he never came… and let me tell you, I’ve read it three times and it still makes me cry…” I couldn’t help but chuckle. “… anyway, the boy, all grown up now… I don’t want to ruin it for you but I have to get my point across…”

“That’s fine.”

“You’re sure? It’s a really good…”

“Anika?” I said impatiently.

“Okay, well, I can’t remember what he tells her he wants to do to her father, but whatever it is, he can’t because her father is long dead so the man’s revenge is to take cuttings of their baby’s hair and scatter it on his grave because they ended up together and happy despite all they endured… and she especially endured a lot. But he doesn’t tell her he does this. He just does. Baby, I know that if something needs to happen, you need to do something to avenge what my sick mother did, you’ll do whatever you think is best. But my revenge is to be happy, despite everything she did. I got my dad back, I’m going to marry you next week, and we are going to live happily ever after, Cole.”

I didn’t really have a response to that, so I held her and prayed that nothing else bad happened.

Anika

“I hope everyone will be comfortable.”

“Please stop stressing about this.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m stressing about it, but this is the in-laws meet n’ greet in a way. I should’ve asked your mom for help.”

I was totally stressed out about everyone coming here. Cole had a beautiful home; well
we
had a beautiful home. He insisted it was ours, everything was now ours and I needed to change my way of thinking. I was trying, I swear I was, but it was hard to wrap my head around it, around everything. So, I just busied and distracted myself as best as I could and for the moment that meant going OCD on every aspect of hosting a holiday meal.

“What are you doing now?” Cole asked, sounding almost irritated.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” I answered, wiping stemware till it sparkled.

“Anika.” He came over and took the cloth from my hands. “Come with me.” He led me away from the kitchen, where I’d arranged a buffet of appetizers and pre-dinner drinks.

“I have things to do, Cole. Really. Please don’t make me stop. It’s the only thing keeping my brain quiet.” I pleaded and looked over my shoulder as he whisked me away, impressed with my handiwork, if I didn’t say so myself.

When we reached the top of the stairs, I saw that there was a large folio lying on the bed with a thick white and gold ribbon tied in a perfect bow.

“What’s that?”

“A present.” He replied.

“Uh huh. So, that whole thing about ‘no, no, we don’t need to exchange gifts, we have everything we need right here’, that was all a big lie wasn’t it?” I asked sarcastically.

“I actually had this planned for a while. Just open it.”

His grin was huge. He had an expression of… pride, I think. I reluctantly untied the ribbon, mostly because it had been expertly arranged as if Martha herself had done him a favor and tied it. I looped it around the fingers of my left hand and opened the folder to see plans: house plans.

“What’s this?”

“Plans.”

“Oh, is that what this is?” I asked with a sarcastic smile.

“We can add two more rooms to the front; see here? It’s an extension. Not huge, but enough. We’d have room for guests. I have approval for one bedroom and bath above the garage with a separate entrance and another small room off our bedroom… for, uh…”

He hesitated so I decided to prompt him. “Cole?”

“A baby, if you wanted that later. Until then, you can fill it with shoes.” He smiled to avoid a potential awkward moment.

“Okay.” I grinned. “And…” I knew there was more.

“That way we can leave the studio upstairs as is… except for one thing.”

“And what’s that?”

“I’ll show you later.” He raised one eyebrow and in that subtle sexiness he just oozed naturally, I could’ve cared less about the all the people coming for dinner in two hours. “We better get back downstairs. My parents will probably be early.”

“How early? Do we have time for a quick-?”

Apparently we didn’t. I could hear the hesitant voice of Trish at the bottom of the stairs. “Cole? Anika?”

“Coming!” Cole called out with a smirk. I gave him a little smack on the ass as he skirted away ahead of me.

Trish looked festive and classy, a winter white cashmere wrap coat over a scarlet-colored sweater, also certainly cashmere. She somehow found leather boots in a matching red and finished the ensemble with fitted jeans that looked anything but casual.

Richard Carlyle was dressed down in black slacks, a collared shirt, no tie and a grey V-neck sweater. He held a black wool coat over one arm and looked around awkwardly. This was only the second time he’d been in Cole’s home, the first being when I was abducted by Joe barely two months ago. I decided to go into hostess mode. I’d watched Aimes’ mom over the years, so I decided to just go with my gut and try to remember what I’d seen her do.

“I can take your coat, Mr. Carlyle.” I offered my arms out in front of me, ready to accept. I watched him shake himself out of a daze and look at me. “Are you okay?” I enquired.

“Anika, you will call me Richard. Tell me where you would like me to put the coats and I will make that one of my duties this evening.”

Uh, okay.

“Upstairs on the bed will be fine, thanks.” I said, and then I smiled at him. There were things about this man that I hated. Things he’d done, things he’d said, but in that moment, him offering to take the coats of all things, I got the feeling he was once again trying to extend an olive branch. I looked up to him, his broad shoulders, his pensive face and recalled that he’d arranged my swift rescue. From what Cole explained, he’d kept everyone focused, took care of lawyers and phone calls and maintained calm.

“You folded the towels on the sides of the tub.”

“Pardon?”

“When I was rescued. You ran the bath and put the towels on the sides so I could comfortably rest my hands.”

“Yes.”

He gave me a simple answer. I already knew he didn’t waste time with chit chat. I had recently learned that life was potentially very short. I never thought Joe meant to kill me. Harm me, yes. But kill me, no… or I hoped. Still, the relief to be in this house, with the man I love, knowing my dad was in my life and Trish and everyone else, I was making an effort to say what I needed to say. Just in case I never got the chance again.

I leapt onto Mr. Richard Carlyle. He of course wasn’t expecting it, which was apparent when I felt him falter a bit. I heard Cole start to say something, he and his mom had been talking, but that stopped suddenly. I felt him thaw and his arms went around me, his coat dropping to floor. “Thank you.” I said. It just felt right.

“Don’t ever thank me again.” He whispered. “But you are very welcome.”

He eased me off of him and retrieved his coat from the floor. “I’ll take your coat, Patricia. I’ll just put these upstairs”

Trish was completely beside herself, on the verge of tears, flapping her hands in front of her like she’d just eaten something really hot. She decided to quickly follow her husband and I went to stand beside Cole. “Is it too much to ask for one day without tears?” I laughed. He didn’t say a word, he just smiled and hugged me, taking a deep breath in my hair.

“I love you.” He said.

“I love you too, baby.”

A knock at the door let us know more of our guests had arrived. Cole and I went to the door together and it was the mother lode. Gus, Aimes, my dad, his wife Jeannie and my half-brother David all stood in the doorway. They all seemed to have their arms full of bags or serving dishes, even though we specified not to bring a thing.

“Sorry.” Jeannie explained looking harried, “I tried to stop him, but he said we have a lot of Christmases to make up for.” Cole and I tried to lighten their load. Patricia and Richard had returned to the room and shook hands with their future in-laws. I went to the kitchen with Aimes and Gus, set two large bags down and started to get drinks ready.

“Inky?” Aimes said quietly to me as she set what I counted as four desserts on the counter.

“Yep?” I replied quickly, trying to keep busy.

“Want to go outside and get some air?”

I stopped whatever it was I was pretending to do and said, “God, yes.”

Aimes gave Gus a look which said what it needed to communicate and he told her, “You gals take your time. I got this covered,” and smiled. That Gus. Such a nice guy.

When the door to the patio closed behind me, Aimes and I stood and looked at the black ocean in front of us.

“It really is beautiful here, Ink.”

“It sure is.”

“Inky, are you happy?”