Clementine Rose and the Pet Day Disaster 2 (10 page)

No one noticed the unusual creature that had slunk onto the side of the stage. He padded along behind the group and emerged in the middle, between a girl with a guinea pig and a lad with a ferret.

The creature looked out at the audience with a sneer on its face.

Queen Georgiana caught her breath. ‘Oh my. Who do we have here?’

A little girl in the front row squealed, ‘There’s a monster. There’s a monster.’

‘Good lord, what is that?’ a man asked loudly from the middle of the hall.

The father with the dragon tattoo leapt to his feet and said, ‘Quick, get a cage before it bites someone and they turn into an alien too. I’ve read about those creatures. It’s dangerous for sure.’

Several of the parents charged forward. One of them grabbed a blanket from a toddler who was sitting with his mother. The little boy began to wail.

From the back of the hall, Aunt Violet caught sight of the commotion and gasped. Clementine did too. Lavender grunted.

‘Pharaoh! My baby!’ Aunt Violet exclaimed. ‘How on earth did you get here?’ The old woman rushed down the centre of the hall, sending children scattering this way and that. She elbowed the men who were racing towards the stage.

‘Get away from him,’ Aunt Violet roared. ‘Do not lay a hand on my baby or I’ll . . .’

‘Ah!’ yelled one of the men as he caught sight of Aunt Violet’s angry face. She was far more petrifying than the creature on the stage.

A little girl began to cry. ‘Mummy,’ she sobbed, ‘there’s a witch.’

‘No, that’s just Aunt Violet. She always looks like that,’ Clementine called in her great-aunt’s defence.

Aunt Violet reached the stage and pushed her way to the middle, where she scooped the cat into her arms. He looked at her and hissed.

‘What are you all looking at?’ she challenged the audience, who were now staring wide-eyed at the terrifying woman and her equally terrifying pet.

‘What
is
that?’ a lady called from the back row.

‘He’s a sphynx, you ridiculous woman. Everyone knows that,’ Aunt Violet hissed.

The audience members looked at one another and shrugged.

‘He’s lovely. You just have to get to know him, that’s all,’ Clementine announced.

‘He’s ugly, did you say?’ a man shouted.

As always, Queen Georgiana knew just how to break the tension.

‘I see we have a last-minute entrant,’ she said, nodding at Aunt Violet and then turning to face the audience, who laughed loudly.

Digby Pertwhistle leaned over to Lady Clarissa and whispered in her ear. ‘It looks like she’ll finally get her wish.’

Clarissa nodded, although she was feeling a little sorry for Aunt Violet.

‘To meet the Queen,’ Digby said.

‘Oh,’ Clarissa nodded.

‘I wonder how Pharaoh got here,’ Clementine said to Poppy and Sophie, who were sitting either side of her.

‘I don’t know, but your Aunt Violet doesn’t look very happy,’ Sophie replied.

‘Aunt Violet never looks very happy,’ Clementine said.

Aunt Violet stood on the stage, staring at the audience and wondering what they were giggling about. The cat hissed at her again. Aunt Violet sneered and hissed back at him. The audience hooted with laughter and so did Queen Georgiana.

In her light grey suit and oversized sunglasses, Aunt Violet bore more than a passing resemblance to Pharaoh.

‘I think we have our winner,’ Her Majesty declared. She took the blue rosette from the tray Mrs Marmalade was carrying behind her. ‘Excuse me, dear, do you know that lady’s name?’ Queen Georgiana whispered to Miss Critchley, who shook her head.

‘But we’re not . . .’ Violet began to protest. ‘You couldn’t possibly think . . .’

‘And the winner of the Pet Most Like its Owner goes to –’ Queen Georgiana turned towards Aunt Violet and looked at the cat. ‘Well, what’s his name?’

Violet gulped. ‘Pharaoh,’ she whispered.

‘And the winner is Pharaoh and his owner,’ Queen Georgiana announced. The audience went wild.

‘That was fun.’ Clementine beamed at her mother and Uncle Digby as they ate their morning tea outside. ‘I’m so proud of Lavender and Pharaoh and Aunt Violet too.’

Her great-aunt did not feel the same way at all. She had been standing behind a tree, quietly nibbling a piece of Pierre’s delicious chocolate cake and doing her best to stay out of sight. But she’d been cornered by Father Bob, who’d come to collect Adrian, his dribbly bulldog. He was congratulating her loudly on the win with Pharaoh, who was now safely locked away in a spare cat cage that Miss Critchley had found. Violet was protesting that it was all just a ridiculous mistake. Father Bob didn’t agree. He thought it was well deserved.

‘Who would have thought Aunt Violet and Pharaoh would be such a hit?’ said Digby. He winked at Clementine.

‘Do you think we could invite Queen Georgiana to tea?’ Clementine asked. ‘I like her a lot.’

‘Yes, the woman has impeccable judgement,’ Digby grinned.

‘I’m not sure that Aunt Violet would want that,’ Lady Clarissa replied. She glanced towards the cake table, where something caught her eye. ‘No, Pharaoh!’ she shouted and ran towards him.

Aunt Violet and Father Bob looked up.

Hiding behind a huge layered sponge in the middle of the table was Pharaoh. His tail flicked from side to side like a windscreen wiper as he licked the cream from between the cakes.

Mrs Bottomley had been telling Astrid’s parents what a clever little tick their daughter was, when she heard the commotion too.

She looked up, wondering if she was seeing things.

‘Why, you!’ Mrs Bottomley erupted. ‘I spent hours making that cake, you ugly brute.’ She raced towards the table and lunged at the cat. Pharaoh darted away and Mrs Bottomley landed sprawled out, face down in the middle of the sponge.

Clementine’s eyes were like saucers as she watched her teacher lying on the table with her little brown legs kicking in the air.

Aunt Violet threw her paper plate on the ground. Pharaoh raced in her direction. She quickly snatched him up but the evidence was all over his face.

Mrs Bottomley rocked backward until her feet hit the ground and she slid off the table and onto her bottom. Large chunks of cake fell from her chest as she scrambled to her feet and sped towards Aunt Violet, who was clutching Pharaoh under her arm.

‘You, you horrid little beast!’ Mrs Bottomley pointed her finger at the cat. Although the teacher was trembling like a jelly, Clementine marvelled that her helmet of brown curls barely moved.

‘Someone must have let him out,’ stammered Aunt Violet. She was looking in the direction of Pharaoh’s cage and wondering which of those ghastly children had done it. Angus Archibald was standing beside the cage with Joshua, giggling behind his hands. ‘It was you,’ Aunt Violet hissed as she stalked towards the two boys.

Angus pulled a face. ‘Was not.’

‘We didn’t do anything,’ Joshua said and started to laugh. He was looking at the bits of pink icing stuck to Mrs Bottomley’s face.

‘My grandson would never do any such thing,’ said Mrs Bottomley. She marched over to Aunt Violet. ‘I’m sure it was . . . Clementine and her naughty little friends!’

Clementine frowned. She’d been standing beside Uncle Digby and her mother the whole time and Poppy and Sophie weren’t even there.

Unfortunately for Mrs Bottomley, Angus had reached down to the ground just moments before and picked up the pin from the latch on the cage. He was still holding it in his hand. She saw it with her own eyes.

‘Oh!’ Mrs Bottomley gasped. Her bottom lip began to tremble. ‘Angus Archibald!’ she roared, and then started to cry.

‘But I didn’t do anything.’ Angus shook his head and then looked at the evidence in his hand. ‘It wasn’t me. I just found this on the ground.’

Aunt Violet spun around and glared at the teacher. ‘Ha! If I were you, madam, I would be a little more careful about accusing my great-niece in future, especially when your grandson is quite clearly the troublemaker. And what on earth are you wearing? Perhaps no one has ever been kind enough to say so, but brown is definitely not your colour!’

‘How dare you?’ Ethel Bottomley poked her tongue out at Aunt Violet and scurried away. Lady Clarissa raced after her. She couldn’t believe what Aunt Violet had said, even if they might all have been thinking it. Angus and Joshua were wide eyed – at least for a second, until Aunt Violet got stuck into the pair of them. Once she had finished yelling, they both made a hasty exit, wiping their eyes as they went.

Aunt Violet let out an enormous sigh. As far as she was concerned the day couldn’t possibly get any worse. But she hadn’t noticed Queen Georgiana walking towards her.

‘Oh my goodness, dear, if I didn’t think you looked alike before, you certainly do now,’ the Queen said with a grin.

‘I don’t know what you mean, Ma’am.’ Violet gulped and clutched Pharaoh closer to her chest.

Queen Georgiana touched the corner of her own lip with her forefinger.

Violet wondered what she was doing.

Clementine rushed over with Lavender in tow. She pointed at Aunt Violet’s face and passed her a tissue.

‘What? What’s the matter now?’ Violet asked.

‘Your lip, dear. It’s covered in cream,’ Queen Georgiana smiled. ‘Just like that naughty little fiend.’ She pointed at Pharaoh.

‘Oh. Thank you,’ Violet mumbled and wiped her face.

Queen Georgiana was ushered away by her bodyguard and lady-in-waiting.

‘Would you like to go home, Aunt Violet?’ Clementine asked. ‘Lavender’s exhausted. And Pharaoh looks as if he could do with a nap too.’

‘Yes, I’m going right now,’ Aunt Violet fumed and began to stride away.

‘Can I come with you?’ Clementine called. ‘Mummy and Uncle Digby are staying to help clean up and I thought we could read some more of that story.’

But Aunt Violet was in no mood to babysit. ‘No. I’m taking Pharaoh and you’re not coming.’

Clementine frowned. Uncle Digby had disappeared inside and Sophie and Poppy were nowhere to be seen either. Her mother was near the entrance to the hall, still trying to calm Mrs Bottomley.

Clemmie hadn’t noticed Angus Archibald skulking around behind her.

‘You – love – a – pig,’ Angus sniffled.

‘Go away, Angus,’ Clementine replied. ‘You’ve made enough trouble.’ She spun around to face the lad. It was obvious he’d been crying. She almost felt sorry for him.

‘I didn’t do it,’ Angus protested. ‘I didn’t.’

Clementine wondered if maybe he was telling the truth. He had been a lot better the past few days.

‘Where’s your dog?’ Clementine asked.

‘Mum took him and I have to stay here and help clean up,’ Angus explained between sniffs. ‘Then I have to go to Nan’s and she’s really mad.’

‘Well, you shouldn’t have let Pharaoh out,’ Clementine admonished. ‘Aunt Violet is really cross with you too.’

‘But I told you. I didn’t,’ Angus huffed. ‘I found that pin on the ground.’

The boy stared at Lavender, who was munching on some cake that Mrs Bottomley had scraped from her chest at the height of the drama. The little pig looked up at the boy.

‘Can I pat her?’ Angus asked Clementine.

‘Yes, but you have to promise to be gentle,’ Clemmie replied.

The lad knelt down and gave the little pig a scratch behind her ear. She pressed her snout against his other hand and gave him a nibble.