Circus Solace (11 page)

“You look bigger,”
Pa said to Max, unable to hide his interest. It was true. The shape of his bones was covered and his skin had sheen to it, like spring leaves.

“
Been eating
,” he said after a while and Matt tried to stop his mouth fall into a perfect ‘o’ but failed.

“
Plants…not people
,” he added and grinned. “
I’m a…vegetarian zombie
.”

“Well, that’s a relief,” Mr. Stopper said
at last and everyone laughed, Max loudest of all.

             
                            *

Matt and
Pa worked so hard that days blurred and were lost, until it only became about finishing the work. The two of them were covered in sweat and blisters, so the idea of hosting an event, a circus for a town full of strangers, no less, became secondary to the mission of getting it done. It was only at the end of each day, when they sat looking back to the grasses and the trees that reality returned to them. Sometimes, as they talked, watching the sun go down, they would laugh and other times be quiet, thinking about what had been made and what was still lost.

The gang
stayed some evenings and other nights it was just the two of them. Matt enjoyed both; the other men were great fun, telling stories and teasing each other in that harmless way that only friend’s can pull off. Yet, Matt held the other times closer to his heart when it was just Pa, talking about the day or what was still to do. It was simple but it was everything. Sometimes it would lead Pa into talking about other things, ma and their life together starting out. On all of these nights, Matt would join in but mostly he would listen. It wasn’t that he was shy but more that it seemed a waste not to sit back and listen to all these good stories being passed around and offered up to his ears.

“What about the house?” Matt said, on one of th
ose nights when everyone was together. The other men looked at him and waited. It was only Max, on one of his rare stays, who seemed to nod and started gazing around the walls.

“I
mean the photos on the walls. Should we have the house open for people to walk through? Did they do that, too?” Matt looked to Marcus and Lucas.

“I guess they did,” Lucas
said, “but it was a different time then. Do you want people walking through your house? People would understand if you kept it behind closed doors.”

“If that’s what they did then, it’s what we’ll do now,”
Pa said, glancing over and nodding to Matt. 

“It won’t be like a museum,” Marcus said, looking around. “It will be more like a place restored.”

“
Where the good memories… live
,” Max added and each of them nodded in agreement.

“What else, Matty?”
Pa asked, sensing there was more to it. He could always tell when Matt had more to say. 

“What about posters?”
He said and looked around.

“It could be dangerous to advertise what we’re doing,” Marcus said, the old fear in him rising at the thought of the clown.

“Come on now,” Lucas said. “He must know what we’re doing by now.”

“He’s waiting,” Matt said quietly and thought of an electrical storm, on the horizon and clear to see, slowly coming closer.

“We’ll deal with him as and when it happens,” Pa said, looking around to each of them. He said it with a conviction that seemed to push all the fear in the room out the door.

“Even so, I think posters would be a step in the wrong direction,” Marcus said, regaining his composure.

“What about fliers?” Matt said. “We just slip them under the door and make people aware.”

“I think that’s a smart move,”
Pa replied and the others nodded in agreement.

“I think that’s a smart kid,” Lucas added, making everyone laugh and dispelling the last of the tension.

For a while they talked about what could go on the advert. In the end, Matt took out a pencil and a notepad and drew the best ideas to take to Bobby the next day. Eventually, the three of them wandered to the door, making their plans for the next day and readying to walk out under the stars. As they stepped out onto the porch, Max hesitated, slowing everyone down.

“
If the clown comes
…” he said. “
I’ll protect… all of you
.” He nodded and didn’t wait for anyone to answer. Instead, he lifted his hand in a wave and began walking back to the clearing, all of him illuminated by the stars and the full moon, so he almost looked as if he were made of silver.

             
                            *

The next day, Matt and
Pa visited Bobby and within an hour, he had managed to cut together the best parts of the designs and fashion it into one image. Another hour later, Matt’s satchel was full of the ticket stub sized adverts, as was Pa’s work bag. Matt was pleased with the design and liked the idea that no one person’s idea had been picked over the other; that it was something they had made together, as a group.

For the rest of the morning and the afternoon, the two of them wandered the streets and drove to the farms and slowly but surely emptied their bags. For a while, Matt couldn’t shake the idea that the clown and his goons were going to come around the corner and pin them up against the wall. When he got so nervous that his hands shook, he looked over to
Pa and saw how steady his fingers were and how much colour was in his cheeks. If he was scared, he wasn’t letting it show. Or maybe it wasn’t that; maybe, Pa had stronger feelings, like hope and determination that kept his fears at bay. Matt began to think like that and soon enough, his hands no longer trembled.

             
                            *

The day before the performance, Mr. Stopper and Max visited to secure the last minute ropes and bindings, while Lucas and Marcus added the finishing touches to the stalls. Matt went about, adjusting the seating while
Pa fixed a problem with the high wire. Bobby crouched in the background, as he had done on previous days, quietly taking photos of everyone at work, occasionally setting down the camera to help out when needed. No-one spoke unless it was about the work and everyone seemed to know what needed to be done to push in the right direction.

Everyone sat together around the lunch table and Marcus brought out a feast from the back seat of his car. He laid out the food in the centre of the table and gestured with his hands for everyone to get stuck in. Matt handed out paper plates and
Pa poured coffee and pop. After everyone’s plate was full and glasses were brimming, Lucas began calling out ‘speech.’ At first, everyone laughed but soon after they all joined in until Pa reluctantly got up off his chair.

“I just want to say,” he
began and Matt watched, seeing Pa for the first time look uncomfortable, uncertain. He was blushing and somehow it made him looked far, far younger.

“I just want to say thank you for all your help,” he went on. “Not just with this,” he said, waving at the fields. “You’ve helped me and Matty a lot, so thank you.” In the next moment, he put his hand on Matt’s shoulder and
then he was up, standing side by side with Pa.

“Thank you,”
Matt managed to say, feeling his throat tighten. In the next moment there was a flash of clapping, that swelled into thunderous applause, led by Lucas and echoed by Mr. Stopper and then all of them were cheering and hollering, as Matt and Pa slipped back into their seats, in amongst the noise. Finally, they began to eat.

“Now, back to business,” Lucas said, as
the eating finally slowed down. “I’d like to do the final checklist, if I may. Okay, so front and centre, we have the stage for Sara and her acrobatics, Stuntman Steve, Helter-skelter Sally on the high wire, Cannonball, Tumblers, Walkin’ and of course these two strong fellows right here,” he said, pointing to Max and Mr. Stopper.

“Then,” Marcus picked up, as Lucas paused to cho
mp on a chicken leg. “We have the booths to the left and right for Ms. Solstice, Hammy and Florence.” 

“Tracker can just wander,” Lucas picked up, wiping his fingers. “We’ll have the far left for the music with Belle, Aquarius and Jingles. All that leaves is Slinky…and well, Slinky goes where Slinky goes.”

“The house will just have the back door open for anyone who wants to look at the photos,” Marcus added.

“Folks bring their own picnics, Marcus will have a food tent for everyone else, we’ll leave a few jugs of water out for anyone who wants it and that, is pretty much that,” Lucas said. Marcus rolled his eyes and shook his head to Matt.

“How about you, Lucas,” he asked with a theatrical sigh. “What will you be doing?”

“Me?” Lucas pointed to himself and grinned. “Well, I guess I could be the Master of Ceremonies, the Ringmaster, that sort of thing, if you think it would be necessary.” Matt couldn’t help but laugh and he noticed Marcus and the others were, too.

“That would be fine,” Marcus said. “Anything else?” After a moment’s silence where everyone looked to each other, Max coughed and shuffled in his seat a little. All eyes went over to him

“
Could I…still juggle?
” He asked quietly and for a moment, all his manners and movements mirrored Pa from a few minutes before. Lucas looked over to Marcus and they both smiled.

“Come with us, Max,” Lucas said and wiped his fingers on a napkin.

“Max, after you are done the strong-arm business, we’ve made a special little booth just over there in the shade of the Cyprus tree,” Marcus said, as all of them wandered over to the small booth. It had a drape over the top of it, like a handkerchief. Marcus and Lucas stood either side and slowly pulled it down. A bright, gleaming sign dazzled out from the shade of the branches. It read:

‘Master Max’s House of Manual Dexterity, Skills and Perplexity.’

“How do you like that?” Lucas said, as Max slowly walked over to the booth. He reached up and put his hand to the sign.

“
I like it…just fine
,” he said and his mouth curved out into a long, perfect smile.

             
                            *

The others left at dusk and left Matt and
Pa alone for the evening. Still full from their impossibly big lunch, they decided to go up on the roof with drinks and wait for the moon. Matt set himself down on the slates next to Pa and looked out to the fields and the grasses that were now something else entirely. The trimmed grass seemed to shimmer and the tidy trees sparkled. The high wire and the ropes looked like a ladder all the ways to the stars. Matt imagined taking the trapeze and swinging up to the moon and knew if he did the house and the land would offer him safe passage all the way up to the night sky.

“Looks like something, doesn’t it, Matty?”
Pa said, staring out to the land.

“It does,” he answered. By his palm, the arrows his ma carved into the slates years ago gently pressed into his skin.

“I think…I think she would have liked this, son,” Pa said and finally looked back over his shoulder. “I think she would have been proud of you.”

“Of us,” Matt said and edged closer to
Pa. “All of us.”

“All of us,” he repeated and then for a long while, long enough for the full moon to appear before them, like an old friend, the two of them sat on the roof, watching the night sky change before them. Sometimes they talked and sometimes they sat in silence, until, at last, it was time to sleep
and wait for what came next.

             
                            *

Matt woke at dawn.

He was not surprised to hear Pa was up and around, cooking breakfast and opening all the windows and doors. Even before he drew back the curtains, Matt could sense the rising sun in the sky. Sure enough, when he looked out to the field, the sky was blue and it already felt warm in the air. By the time he walked downstairs, the breakfast was on the table and the juice poured.

“Sleep okay?”
Pa asked as Matt bounded into the room.

“Not really; you?”

“Same,” he said and grinned at Matt. “Going to be a beautiful day for it, I think,” he continued and sat. 

“I thought maybe I’d go check the stalls after this,” Matt said and saw
Pa smile.

“Too much energy, huh?” he said. Matt nodded. “I feel the same way.”

They went out into the field and did the last minute spot checks. Marcus and Lucas arrived earlier than expected and Matt noticed they carried the same nervous energy. Matt spent time with Marcus, setting up the food and making sure everything was in its right place. Soon enough, Mr. Stopper and Max appeared, along with Bobby and Sara. Although there was nothing really to do, everyone seemed busy, flitting around and flapping, laughing anxiously and asking questions only to repeat them, minutes later. The tension seemed to fizz and crackle as if a storm were brewing. It felt as if something could break, even though everything was in place. For a moment, the heat seemed to grow muggy and sticky, the sky overhead grey. Matt looked back to the house and somehow all the old tilts and awkward angles seemed to have returned to its beams and rafters.