Choices will Destroy (An FBI Romance Thriller Book 14) (33 page)

It was time.

As Gabe watched her sleep, he sent out a silent prayer.

‘Please don’t let this be a mistake. I can’t lose my wife,’
he whispered silently.

And it was true.

Without her, he’d be lost.

 
               
* * *
  B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x   * * *

Damascus

It wasn’t a horrible flight home. Chris Leonard got there in no time. When he exited the jet, he saw his co-worker waiting for transport.

He told him goodbye, knowing it was the last time he’d see him. His wife and daughter were his new life, and he couldn’t look back.

When he’d left Gabe’s home, he knew he was going to have to cut his ties. If he saw his family every day, there would be no way not to regret everything. Each time he saw Elizabeth, he’d want to return to the FBI. The only way to do it was to move on. That’s why he’d made her promise.

Elizabeth would forgive him.

That was the only reason he could do it.

This was going to hurt, and he already hated the choice that he made. With each second that he drove closer to home, he thought about the repercussions.

It broke his heart.

He only hoped he didn't grow to hate himself.

As he pulled up the long drive, the haunted mausoleum waited for him. Inside, his wife and daughter would be there.

Parking in the garage, he saw the kitchen light on under the door. Once he walked through it, he was officially unemployed.

He took a breath.

Walking to the counter, which held countless tools he’d never used, he dropped his medical bag. It was staying out here, so he wouldn’t be reminded of what he’d given up. Later, he’d stash it away in his safety deposit box with the Newton boxers he cherished.

That bag was years of blood, sweat, tears, and pain, and it broke his heart. He’d nearly died a few times finding justice, and now it was just his past.

His heart ached.

He placed the cane beside it, knowing that had to go too. Elizabeth’s message, scribed into the silver, made him want to cry. It was his past too.

There had to be a clean break, and he knew it.

Taking a deep breath, Chris headed into his home and new life. It was one without purpose and nothing but leisure.

As he opened the door, he saw his two girls waiting for him.

“Daddy is home for good.”

His girls rushed toward him.

And Chris let it go.

He didn't have a choice.

It was this or lose them both.

                        
* * *
  B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x   * * *

Wednesday

Three A.M

She couldn’t sleep.

When she crept out of the bed, from between the men she loved, Elizabeth needed a place to hide.

She needed a place to think.

Had she been home, she would have gone to the treehouse that the men had moved from their old home. She would have talked to Timothy, like she sometimes did.

Communing with him in the treehouse calmed her. It helped clear her mind as she worked through her problems. Now, she was a mess, and there was no way to find that peace.

She was on her own.

Nothing was solved, everything was crushing her, and she was torn. As she headed down to Livy and Gabe’s kitchen, the second she entered, she knew she wasn’t alone.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Gabe asked, sitting in the dark.

“No. You?”

He laughed. “I've done something stupid,” he admitted. “I had no choice.”

Elizabeth flicked on the lights above the island and turned on the teakettle. As she ran her hand over the baby bump, she was concerned for her friend.

“What did you do?”

“I told Livy to go back to the FBI.”

“Did you hit your head?” she asked. “Do you have a fever?”

He was well aware. “Yeah, I think I did.”

Elizabeth got down a cup. “Whiskey?” she asked, pointing at the cup.

“Want some?”

“I wish. That’s just a little too redneck, even for me.”

He pointed at the bottle. “If you dump some in your tea, I won’t tell a soul. It might help you sleep. Livy did it a few times with Amelia, and she’s no worse for the wear.”

She laughed. “If you tell Callen, I’ll kill you.”

He closed his eyes and smiled. “What I don’t see I can’t comment on.”

That’s how it always was with them. They were close. Sitting there, she was reminded of that.

“So why did you do it?” Elizabeth asked.

“Because I love her.”

She got it.

This whole case was centered on love, hate, anger, and destruction.

Fate was a bitch.

If Elizabeth could, she’d kick her ass.

“She needs to come back. I couldn’t leave. Livy is pretty damn strong. Look at what she’s overcome.”

“Yeah, I know. There’s still one chance left. I can always hope she fails qualifications. Then it’s out of my hands.”

They both knew Livy wouldn’t.

She was in excellent shape.

“What about you? Why are you up?”

Elizabeth told him about what she did. When she was finished, he stared at her.

“That was incredibly unselfish of you. I know how much he means to you.”

“I didn't want to do it. I wanted to tell him he was making a huge ass mistake and beg him to stay. I wanted to slap the stupid out of his wife, but that’s not my job. If Chris wants this, he has to stand up to her. Wife or not, she should know better.”

“He would have stayed had you asked.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s the issue. He needed to do what his wife wanted. Cyra already dislikes me for some reason. I don’t need to add fuel to that fire.”

“She’ll get over it. You and Chris are close. You’ve always been that way. At the beginning, I swore you’d sleep with him.”

She laughed. “I did sleep with him, but just not sex. We had a bond like you and I do.”

“Had?”

“I know he won’t ever see me again. I know he’s going to make sure we don’t cross paths. I knew when I sent him home it was the last time I was going to see him. This path has come to an end.”

“Why?”

“Memories.”

He got it.

They haunted him too.

They both knew Christopher Leonard wouldn’t be strong enough to see what he gave up every day and face it down. There would always be that lure to come back.

That meant he’d walk away to cut off the addiction.

The FBI was like crack.

Unfortunately, she was part of that addiction. Elizabeth was the FBI. She bled blue and gold.

“We’re old, Gabe.”

He laughed, clinking his whiskey glass against her tea mug. “Amen, honey, amen.”

“What happened to us?”

“Time, and like Fate, she sucks too. At least you’re only forty-one. I’m heading into fifty in the next few months. Let me tell you, it’s not fun. I have this irrational need to dye my hair and get a sports car.”

She snorted. “Do it. I want to see Livy’s face.”

He snorted.

“Where did time go?”

“I wish I knew. I used to see the world differently. Then I became the director of the FBI. It was all I ever wanted, and now…I think it was a huge mistake. The weight is crushing. It’s going to be the death of me, especially now that I told Livy to go back.”

“Yeah, I’m feeling some of that weight. Director-hood sucks the big one.”

They sat in silence sipping their drinks.

“What do you need to do, Elizabeth?”

He knew his friend. She was an open book to him. Gone was the wild youth, and in its place was a woman who fought hard for justice.

She’d grown a lot.

“I need a damn vacation.”

“Me too. Let’s take one. When this is over, let’s pack up the family and head somewhere. You still have that house in Fire Bay.”

Only that was Oracle’s new house.

“Yeah, we can’t go there.”

“Why?”

“The less you know, the better.”

He sipped more whiskey. “Yeah, you’re right. Don’t tell me shit. I have enough on my shoulders. Did you know the president got caught in the limo with his assistant by his wife?”

She laughed. “Shit. That sucks for him.”

“Yeah, the media had no clue. As he was pulling up to the Whitehouse, he was getting one hell of a blowjob. When his wife opened the door, his pants were down.”

She snickered. “How do you know?”

“I was wearing a secret service earpiece and talking to the head guy. The chatter has already started.”

Elizabeth sipped her tea. The warmth helped her.

“I wouldn’t want to be you, Gabe. Bless you for taking on this clusterfuck we call the FBI.”

“Tell me about it. I have a few years left and then I’m retiring.”

“Lucky you.”

“What do you miss most?” he asked.

“You and Livy. I wish I was back here. I feel so isolated out there. Even being back here now, I feel like this is home. Damascus never felt like it was where I should be. Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that it’s Ethan and Callen’s home, but it’s not me. I’ve never been a woodsy kind of girl. Even when Charlie moved us south, I always missed DC.”

He got it.

“So come back.”

She stared at him. “I can’t. There’s that little place called FBI West. That’s Ethan’s baby. I’m just his partner.”

“He would have a job here. I don’t have a Deputy Director. He could come back and fill that slot. We both know who I'm tagging to replace me one day.”

She thought about it.

“I’d miss Tony, and my team.”

“Bring them. You could have your title and work in the field all you want. You know that’s what you live for anyway. Putting you behind a desk was a way to keep you safe for your husband. You’ve gone out anyway, risking your neck. That plan failed from day one.”

She snorted. “You know me. Don’t try to make me do anything. I’m going to go the other way.”

“Duly noted.”

“But you’re right. I hate being in an office. It sucks.”

“I might just have a partner for you. Well, you and Callen, if he makes it back.”

She thought about it. There was something appealing about coming home. She was born here. She raised hell here as a Fed. It called to her.

“Can I tell you a secret?” she asked.

“Is it about sex? I don’t know if I can handle it. Hearing about you three weirds me out. You bouncing on two men at once is a hard pill to swallow. You used to be a good girl.”

She snorted. “Oh, they tell me I’m very good.”

He picked up the whiskey bottle and chugged from it.

Elizabeth found that amusing and started to laugh. “Take it easy, boss man. It’s actually about Callen.”

“What?”

“He likes spanking me.”

“Jesus, Elizabeth! Come on!”

She snorted. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I’ll be serious now.”

“Right.” Somehow, he didn't believe that tall tale. “What about him?”

“He wrote a book, and a publisher wants it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow, things are changing in both of our worlds.”

She was aware.

“Are you serious about me coming back?”

“Yes.”

“Could you guarantee Ethan gets Deputy Director?”

“Yes, and it’s a pay raise too. It would make up for Callen losing his position if he opted to be a writer and stay home. You know I’d always cover for you.”

She mulled it over.

“I miss you, Lyzee. Despite it all, you’re my family. That’s what matters most.”

She was well aware.

“Think about it. You could have your family back. You’d see the kids, your children would have ‘cousins’, and you’d have us. You’d stop being alone, Lyzee.”