Children in Her Shadow (27 page)

As Ruth returned to her office she began to feel frightened realising that the future for her unborn child depended entirely upon her ability to put distance between herself and Preston and in particular, herself and Edward. That night her journey of only one hundred yards or so home, was taken in the shadows of the buildings where she tried hard to blend into the background.

The following day, Christmas Eve, Ruth went into work half an hour early as usual but on arrival she was surprised to see John waiting for her. He quietly asked Ruth to sit with him and explained that Jane had filled him in on the background to her circumstances. He asked Ruth if she was looking to move home and her job locally or to move completely out of the area. Ruth explained that she was afraid that if she remained in the area for too long, it would not be long before Edward would get to know and she would end up losing this child too.

John listened sympathetically then explained to Ruth that she could move tonight into the flat above the business which was currently empty. He went on to explain that he had a friend, in the motor trade business in Wythenshawe near Manchester who desperately needed someone to help him with his business accounts. He explained that he had spoken to him by telephone and that if Ruth wanted the job she could move there after the Christmas holiday. He also explained that whilst the wages would not be quite so good, the job would come with a flat that she could use.

Ruth was overjoyed by with the news though saddened that once again she would have to leave people who had become good friends and who had taken her to their heart. She asked John if she could telephone his friend and confirm the arrangements which he agreed.

His friend turned out to be a cousin called Victor and he was delighted to hear that Ruth would be arriving after Christmas explaining that she would need to prepare herself for a great deal of work if he was going to be able to present his business accounts on time to his accountant. The thought of moving was saddening but the challenge of being able immediately to be useful and busy was a wonderful counterbalance to Ruth.

Having declined an offer to have Christmas lunch with John and Jane, Ruth moved her few belongings into the flat above the taxi company and settled down to a quiet Christmas alone with letters to write and planning to do. But before any of this she took advantage for the first time in years to run a hot bath and soak there in the knowledge that she would not be disturbed. She thought about her children but her mood was less melancholy than the last Christmas. Tonight her thoughts were only about protecting the unborn child inside her and doing whatever she needed to do to ensure that her whereabouts both now and in the future were not discovered by Edward and his family.

Ruth had continued to write to her mother though she received no replies. This was heartbreaking but Ruth knew that she had visited this upon herself by not sharing with her mother what was happening in her life when she first became pregnant. Nonetheless, Ruth wrote again to her mother telling her that she was moving to Wythenshawe near Manchester and that she would provide an address in due course. The address would be a post office box number as previously so that her whereabouts could not be passed on, no matter how innocently this might happen.

Ruth had been in regular contact with Mrs Morgan until earlier in the year but this lady of character and style had now moved to Colorado in the USA with Colonel Arthur Brockenbeck or ‘Hawkeye’ to his friends. Reading between the lines of her letter, before she departed for Colorado Mrs Morgan may have conveniently forgotten that she was married but this was probably for her a minor oversight. She was clearly happy and, for Ruth that was a great blessing. However, Ruth pondered whether the USA was really ready for the likes of Mrs Morgan. Ruth feared that the letter from Mrs Morgan would probably be the last and the end of a wonderful relationship with a larger than life character and someone for whom rules were generally for other people. Notwithstanding the fact that she may not hear again from Mrs Morgan, Ruth wrote if for no other reason than to convey a more positive side of her personality but also to attempt to keep open a dialogue with someone she really cared for.

In so far as Mary Morgan was concerned, her letters had become less frequent but none the less enjoyable. They were prosaic always gushing with excitement, love and passion for her ability to move amongst a circle of friends that saw the world the way she did.

The letters had previously spoken of several friendships but now the letters carried one name and that was Clarissa. Mary was in love with Clarissa and her letters were full of the ups and downs of that relationship but what penetrated the narrative was a clear sense that Mary had found her soul mate in life and that their love was as intense and as honest as that of any couple Ruth knew. Naively Ruth once asked in a letter if Mary and Clarissa held hands and did they kiss. “Kiss my darling” she replied, “we snog and we laugh and we cry and well, darling we do everything.” Ruth could detect the influence of Clarissa in both the writing and the content of her letters.

Ruth was determined that it was now her turn to carve out a piece of happiness for herself and if that meant putting her past in a special place to be visited but not dwelt upon then so be it. Ruth’s letter to Mary rejoiced at her good news and her happiness and spoke of a day in the future when they might meet up and when she could also meet Clarissa.

Ruth decided to use this letter to explain that she and Edward were no longer together without providing too much more detail. She did however explain that she was expecting a baby but omitted to mention that she had three others that she had previously walked away from. To Ruth this was as honest as she was prepared to be even with someone who she regarded as her closest friend.

On completing the letter she reflected upon how good she felt and how these first steps towards her new future were uplifting. Feeling in a state of moderate contrition, Ruth decided to also write to Auntie Lott.

Her letter to Lott was carefully constructed to provide some of the background facts of a less than happy marriage with Edward. She admitted to having known Edward for some years and that they had married in nineteen forty three. She also explained the other person in Edward’s life, Sarah, and she carefully wrote about how Sarah had won the tug of love and had taken Edward from her. Finally, she told Lott of her pregnancy and that she was going to keep the baby and bring it up on her own however difficult that might be.

Ruth walked to the post office and as she dropped the letters into the post box she felt that for the first time in many years she was on the journey towards regaining control over her life.

On New Year’s Eve Ruth packed her few belongings and took them downstairs into the garage. John had insisted that he drive Ruth to Wythenshawe which would provide an opportunity for his family to see his cousin again. And so by mid morning Ruth, John, Jane and Sofia climbed into one of the company cars and set off.

Their journey of a little more than forty miles was symbolic for Ruth as she was putting distance between her and Edward and she was leaving a place where everyone knew each other and many knew her. For Ruth, the journey had the additional effect of being able to close the lid on bad experiences and it gave her the energy and focus to think positively about her future. As always her children were never far from her mind but she knew that there was nothing she could do now to get those children back. Her thoughts were only for her unborn baby.

On arrival in Wythenshawe, Ruth was taken immediately to Victor’s house which was only a few yards from the business. Victor was a carbon copy of his cousin John, affable, kind and evidently very hard working. Victor was single and seemed to live to work being successful in several small businesses. However, this new venture, a vehicle repair business which he had only recently bought had many problems, not the least being the state of the accounts.

Having enjoyed a cup of coffee, a completely new experience to Ruth, they walked down the road to the garage and Ruth was taken to her flat. Ruth was shocked; the flat had a sitting room, kitchen, bathroom and two bedrooms all furnished. The feel of the place was masculine which was no surprise once Ruth realised that the previous owner of the garage had also been a single man. However, Ruth was sure that she was going to be happy here and quickly carried her few personal belongings into the flat.

Before John and Jane left to drive back to Preston, Jane took Ruth to one side and explained that Victor was fully aware that she pregnant and knew that at some time in the future she would need to take time away to have her baby and to decide where she was ultimately going with her life. Jane explained that Victor was entirely comfortable with this, concerning himself only with his business and the state of the accounts.

Ruth spent the following eight weeks completely submerged in the accounts of Victor’s new business. She discovered that the accounts were virtually non-existent but that there were no material concerns about the integrity of the business. At the end of February, having been undisturbed by Victor and left to get on with the accounts, Ruth asked Victor if he could spend a couple of hours with her to fill in some gaps prior to her taking a further couple of hours in which she would give him a forensic assessment of the business accounts.

Ruth had discovered a real flair for this kind of work as Victor was to find out at the first intensive meeting about the business. Victor was shocked by what Ruth had achieved. She had chased the many debtors and had brought in more than one thousand pounds of money owed to the business that Victor was unaware of. She had also cleared all the creditors most of whom were known. Ruth asked many questions about the stock and stock control systems and when she was finished she announced that she would be able to present the final accounts on time for the meeting with the accountants in April but that she wanted to let Victor have sight of the state of the business the following day.

The following morning, looking tired but excited, Ruth disclosed to Victor that when he bought the business, the full extent of the stock had not been recorded and that having recovered most of the aged debtor monies, the business was in a healthy state and, surprisingly trading at a small profit. Victor was staggered. He could not believe that Ruth had achieved so much in such a short time and that she had grasped the workings of the business so quickly. This was something that was confirmed by the accountant when he met separately with Victor.

Victor reported all of this back to Ruth and in so doing he gave her an envelope saying that this was her bonus. It was only later when Ruth opened the envelope that she discovered there was fifty pounds in crisp notes. This money was immediately banked in her ‘baby fund’ as she called it in the post office savings account.

Ruth’s pregnancy was uneventful and by July she had seen her doctor several times and she had already been booked into the local hospital for the delivery. She, like the rest of the country was getting excited about the plans to launch the National Health Service which would mean that she would no longer have to pay at the point of use for her care.

Throughout the nineteen forties it had become apparent that a health service run by the government would be introduced but only in the teeth of opposition from large sections of the medical profession. However, the war had increased the sense of social solidarity, and many saw the advantages of a centrally funded health service. Many doctors had military experience and knew that service personnel had, from a health perspective, been looked after better whilst they were in military service than in peacetime.

On the
appointed day
, the fifth July nineteen forty eight, having overcome political opposition from both the Conservative Party and from within his own party, and after a dramatic showdown with the British Medical Association which had threatened to derail the National Health Service before it had even begun, Anuran Bevan’s
National Health Service Act
came into force. The reassurance that healthcare free at the point of use provided to Ruth and to post war Britain was overwhelming. Ruth saw this also as an omen for her new baby, knowing that she would never have to face the question of whether her child’s health needs could be afforded.

The fifth of July nineteen forty eight was also a memorable day in the life of the Carmichael family but for entirely different reasons.

In the period since Edward had last seen Ruth, he and Sarah had been moving forward with their plans for marriage. These included Edward’s and the children’s conversion to the Catholic Church. Having baptised Michael, and changed his name to Robert, Sarah and her parish priest moved swiftly to baptise Charlotte and Maria, something that was achieved in the January of nineteen forty eight. Edward completed his Instructions in the Catholic faith and in the April of the same year he too was baptised and converted to Catholicism in a service attended by the whole Carmichael family including the children.