Carpe Diem - Jesse 3 (12 page)

“
This
is Gio.” I motioned to the man next to me.

Jesse's eyes fell on Gio's classically handsome Italian face and he commented, “I thought you said he was like a fifty year old dude.”

“What are you talking about? I never said that.” I shot an apologetic glance at Gio.

“That’s okay, I get that all the time. I'm really sixty, you know, the miracle of cosmetic surgery...”

Jesse stared at me and didn't reply. His expression was blank and I couldn't tell what he was thinking.

He took me by my arm and said, “Can I talk to you for a minute, Niki?” Then he took me over to the side of the room.

I was getting pissed as he trotted me off to the side, treating me like I was some kind of disobedient child and, before we could get out of the door, the words came tumbling out. “You just totally embarrassed me in front of my boss. What's wrong with you?”

“What's wrong with me? Have you been with this guy the whole time I'm at training, flirting with him?”

“That's so typical of you, Jess. How can you even think that? You always overreact and jump to conclusions. Why does everything always have to be a cock fight?”

“I just wish you had told me he was young and attractive - I guess if you find that attractive.”

“Oh and you talking to Miss Cum Dumpster, is okay? Forgive me if I don't pat you on the back. Jesse, you know I only have eyes for you, so stop being so damn jealous. He's my boss. He's helping me move my career forward. That's the reason I came to Italy with you. You wanted that, right?”

“Whatever,” He raked his hand through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck. “I can't argue with you tonight. I'm here to represent my team in front of our sponsor. This is fucking ridiculous. I can't believe you would do something like this.”

“Do what? What exactly have I done, Jess?”

“You pretended this guy was ugly and old, not a Casanova dude.”

“Okay so you're telling me that it's acceptable for me to work for an ugly guy but not work for someone who's good looking, even though he’s one of the best photographers in Italy?”

“Fuck it. Whatever. I don’t like other guys looking at you. I know what they want from you, guys are dogs. Do what you want. I mean, I have my shit, you have yours.”

I grabbed him by his shoulders, squaring his tall stature directly in my line of vision. I pinned him in place with a penetrating glare and said, “I'm not fucking Gio. I have no physical attraction to him. I love you, Jesse. Either you get that through your head or I'm going back to the hotel right now.”

The wild look in his eyes abated and, once again, there was a softness in his voice. “You’re right. I'm a fucking asshole. I'm sorry, Niki.” If there had been rocks on the ground, he would have been kicking them with his shoe. He looked almost boyish as he hung his head, realizing he had overreacted. Again.

His repentance softened my heart and I lowered my voice. “You
should
be sorry. Gio has helped me more than anyone and it's not because he's trying to get into my pants.”

Suddenly my awareness of the room came into sharp focus. I was so caught up in our argument that I hadn't realized people could hear us and they were watching. The stares of their eyes made my cheeks burn red. I moistened my lips and stared down at the floor, as I had noticed Ice, of all people, walking our way. He must have been hanging around, just within earshot; not that it would have taken much effort for him to hear what I had said since I was practically yelling. I usually wasn't one to make a scene, or to be jealous over some blonde bimbo Jesse might meet, but tonight I was out of sorts. It was bound to happen, with Jesse’s good looks and his career. He was a hot commodity - hot in more ways than one - and these chicks, with their perfect bodies and perfect hair, were everywhere. It was a freaking epidemic. It was true. They were relationship killers, each and every blond-headed one of them.

“What’s the matter, Jesse? Trouble in paradise? You're not supposed to argue with your girlfriend all night. You should be hanging with the Yamaha team and showing goodwill for the sponsor, man.” Ice plunged his hands into his pockets and smirked at us. He was accompanied by Santini, who shot him a side long glance in agreement.

“What do you care, dickhead?” Jesse spat the words at him and instinctively took me by the arm and pulled me close to his side.

Ice was dressed in a trendy dark sport jacket, a black shirt and jeans. He was still handsome, with his blue eyes and blond hair. It contrasted nicely with his clothes, but Ice always projected a contradictory aura, hot and cold, alluring and yet dangerous. I imagined that Ice was the kind of guy who women loved to hate.

“I'm just saying, it's not cool to argue with your girlfriend in front of the sponsors.”

“Whatever, dude, just shove off.” Jesse's hand was in mine as he spun on his heels to face the exit. “I need some air.”

He strode toward the fresh night air and I followed leaving Ice and Santini laughing and looking for the bikini girls.

I waited until we were outside before I spoke. “Are you okay? What was that all about?”

“Man, Ice just bugs the shit out of me. He gets on my nerves.”

“I can see that. Don't let him get to you.”

“The competition on the team is getting harder. Everybody is trying to take my lead spot because of my accident. What a bunch of morons. We’re a team. They're supposed to support me, not trying to take me down.”

“You did the right thing by walking away.”

“This time. But I caught an endless wave of grief about the whole situation from Coach, so I promised him I'd try to get along with Ice and not start trouble.”

“What does Coach say? Can he talk to Ice?”

“Coach can only do so much. This is between me and Ice.”

The confrontation with Ice had put me back on Jesse's side. I was no longer mad at him. I wanted to show him that I was there for him first. Nothing else mattered.

I stuck my chin out and said, “You're the freaking best at what you do, Jesse. Ice is a German wannabe. You’re the real deal. You know you're better than him, so why beat yourself up about it? He's jealous of your ability and success. He wants to be as good as you, but he can't so he has to be a bully about it. “

“You're right, Niki. You're the smartest person I know. What would I do without you?” He slipped his arms around my waist and tipped his forehead into mine.

“Probably get in a fight and kick his ass.”

My pathetic humor got a rise out of him and a gentle smile crossed his face. “You got that right.”

I circled my arms around his neck and spoke in a soft voice. “Shall we go in, or go back to the hotel?”

“Mmmm. As much as I would love to go back to the hotel and make love to you, Coach would kill me if I didn't give the sponsors a little attention.” I dropped my head to the side in dramatic disappointment. “They paid a lot of money to host this thing tonight. So we should probably go back in.”

I let my arms drop to my sides with a heavy flop. “Alright. Lead the way, champ.”

As we returned to the party, Jesse stopped short and turned to say, “I’m sorry about the way I treated Gio. I should apologize. Let's go find him.”

“Okay.” I was glad Jesse suggested it. That would be nice, since I had to work with Gio on such a close basis for two more weeks.

Inside, the DJ was thumping his beats and scores of people were on the dance floor, moving to the pounding rhythm. The Italians seemed to love techno and house mixes, and it was the perfect music for the indigo-blue lighted dance floor. It really did look like people were dancing under a flying saucer that projected colorful spinning beams of lights, a la disco-style.

I spotted Gio standing over near the bar and we wove our way through the crowd to meet him. He was taking with a man dressed in a business suit, whom I imagined must have been the owner he said he knew.

“Excuse me, Gio. Could we talk to you for a minute?”

Gio's face lit up with a smile when he saw that it was me asking the question. “Of course, Niki.” He turned to the man in the suit and said, “Could you just give me a minute, Paolo?”

The man nodded and with a gracious smile, turned to lean on the bar and struck up a conversation with the bartender.

Jesse spoke up. “Look, Gio, I think I came on a little too strong back there. I'm sorry if I offended you. I was out of line. My bad.”

“That's okay. If I had a girlfriend like Niki I would be protective, too.”

Gio turned back to his friend, leaving Jesse with a strange look on his face. I wasn't one hundred percent sure that any suspicious thoughts Jesse may have concocted about Gio and I had been put to rest, but I did know that jealousy could spur people to do crazy shit. I just hoped things had been smoothed over for now and decided it would be best to keep Jesse away from Gio for the rest of the evening.

We also managed to steer clear of Ice and Santini for another hour and Jesse kept his promise to Coach. The bikini girls were warded off by my icy stares and found several of Jesse's teammates and mechanics to latch onto. Metaphorically speaking, if a look could kill, mine was a .44 Magnum.

Jesse scooped two more drinks off the neon trays carried around by waitresses and downed his quickly. We danced and he continued throwing back neon cups full of alcohol and, before long, I decided we had better head back to the hotel. By the time Jesse and I climbed into our little rental car, he was feeling the drinks. I decided I had better drive and we headed back to the hotel with an unsettled feeling rolling around in my stomach. Jesse’s behavior was going downhill fast and by the time we got back to the hotel, he was in a nasty mood. The fun loving guy in a tuxedo I had gone to the opera the other night with was gone. There was a dark and brooding look in his eyes as he ripped off my clothes and threw me down on the bed.

“Hold on, hold on,” I begged as he peeled off his shirt and pushed me into the position he wanted me in. He was rough and primal in his movements and I didn't like it. I knew he’d had too much to drink, but he had never acted so callously before; so distant, so self-centered. What had I done?

He was almost about to enter me when finally he stopped, realizing what he was about to do. Without a word he rolled off of me and passed out within seconds.

Tears pooled in my eyes and spilled out onto the pillow as I rolled away from him to lie on my side. Did I say something wrong tonight? Did I unconsciously flirt with Gio, or did I say something that Jesse could have misconstrued to be flirtatious? I shouldn’t have continued working as Gio's assistant after that first day. Sooner or later, I knew it would likely result in this conflict.

Jesse

D
amn
.
That sucks.

The high pitched buzz of the motorcycle engines added to the pounding in my head. I climbed off my 450cc and handed it over to Jamie so he could give it one more check. He said he didn't like the way it was sounding; I couldn't tell any difference but I wasn't at my sharpest, today. Something was gnawing at me on the inside and it wasn't last night's burrito; not that I'd even had a burrito since I left the U.S.

I pulled off my helmet so I could hear the words Coach was yelling at me more clearly. But as soon as I removed it, I wished I hadn't. “What's wrong with you, today?” His face was scrunched up, like he wasn't very happy. “Were you drinking last night?” Yeah, he definitely wasn't happy.

Fuck
.

“I only had one beer.” One beer, plus a few more energy drinks mixed with vodka.

“Sorry, Coach. It won't happen again.” I pushed on past where Coach was standing, not wanting to get into it with him. Last night wasn't the best night for me, seeing that Niki and I had an argument.

Shit
.

It was bad. She didn't say a word this morning and she didn't ask for me to order our usual breakfast of bacon and eggs. We didn't order anything at all. When I left, she just lay there like she was still sleeping, though I'm not sure she really was.

Just then, my trailer mate, Johnny Marrow, saw me and came over to talk. “Hey, man, are you okay? I saw you with Niki last and it kind of looked like you two were arguing ... well, everybody saw it. Is everything okay between you two? It seemed like you were okay, later.”

“No biggie. I got a little wasted, that's all.”

He hedged a little, like he wanted to say something more, picked at the zipper on his jacket and then said, “You want to be careful not to slip up now. A lot of guys want your spot on the team. They want the number one plate on the front of their bike. If you mess up... you could lose it.”

God damn mother fuckers.
My stomach clenched. I felt like a trapped animal. Why doesn't everyone just leave me the hell alone? I have to pay attention to Niki and yet devote myself to the team. The stress was tearing me apart inside. The love for Niki and my love for my sport were at odds right now. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't drink it away. I couldn't take it out in a bar fight. Guess I would just have to ignore it, push it down and pretend it doesn't exist.

“Yeah, I’m trying.” I hated the way my voice sounded when that came out. It sounded like I was a loser and I didn't like to sound weak.

“If you need my help, Jesse, I've got your back. Don't worry about Ice and Santini.” It must have been obvious to Johnny too because he said, “You know Coach loves you. You'd have to really mess up bad to get kicked off the team... but still, they'd do anything to get your spot.”

We both turned our heads in the direction of Coach's voice as he yelled to everyone, “Break is over. Back to practice.”

Johnny gave me a friendly slap on the back as he headed off to get his bike from his pit crew. I strode off in the opposite direction to get my own from Jamie. On the way to the mechanics’ work area, I had to pass by Ice and Santini's trailer.
Assholes
. Thoughts were turning over in my mind about how suspicious those two were when I heard voices, rising and falling in excitement, drifting out the open screen door of their trailer. I could only make out part of what they were saying, but it was more like a loud discussion than a heated argument.