And to my most favorite author….thank you for talking me off that ledge…several times.
I hope you all enjoy Ty and Stella’s story. It’s my heart and soul on paper. It’s their story. I can’t change it. They guided it…and I was the lucky girl that got to write it. I hope you love them as much as I do.
Thank you for purchasing and happy reading!
(Damn, even the in the acknowledgements I’m a wordy bitch.)
Continue on to read a preview of
Captured Love
By: April Raynne
Coming August/September 2014
(Good news…it’s already written)
Stella
Chapter 1
My hair’s wet in a bun, and I have just enough makeup to convince my co-workers that the Zombie Apocalypse hasn’t started. I was the first one in this morning because I took yesterday day off after Ty and I had our blow out and came clean about our relationship, Sunday night. When my eyes finally closed in the wee hours of the morning my last thought was, Ty. And when I pried my eyelids open several short hours later, my first thought was, Ty.
I can’t help but wonder what the last two days have been like for him. I know for a fact that he nursed a raging hangover. But, I really would like to know if he thought about me at all. If he misses me the way I already miss him. It’s like the night before you are scheduled for surgery, and you can’t eat or drink anything after midnight. You wake that morning and feel desperate for food and water. But in reality, you normally don’t eat breakfast until later in the morning. So, why the urgency? Because you can’t have it? I can’t reach out to him. I’m not heading to the studio anytime soon to work with him. I think, ‘Stella, I can’t have you fucking my clients,’ was in fact, me getting fired. And the weekend…God the weekend is going to be long…really, really long without him.
I see it’s Samantha ringing my intercom line. I pick up, “Hey,” I know I sound pathetic.
“Please tell me what happened.” Her voice is soft and laced with concern.
“Check your email. There’s…” The lump in my throat is too big to speak around.
“Stella, you know I’m here for you. I can see it all over you honey. Something happened. Just tell me. I can’t see you like this and not know.”
I take deep breathes until I can get the words out. “I can’t tell you verbally. I’ll… just cry. And I can’t do that at work. Check your email.” I disconnect before the sob breaks out of my soul.
I type Sam the whole sad story via email. In all actuality, tears clouded my eyes and fell all over my keyboard, so I’m not sure what the difference was. When I finish spelling The End…I send it over to her and listen to her breathing change as she reads it.
Our condo is empty when I walk in. I leave my work clothes in a pile on the floor and put on some boxer shorts along with a sweatshirt. The closet light gives off a soft glow as I re-visit all my flaws that are so terribly apparent to anyone of the opposite sex. I work a lot. I guess this is a flaw. But is wanting to support myself so bad? My car sucks. Well, my plan is to buy outright and not finance. My family wants me to find a man and be supported…I don’t want that. Okay, I only have a two year college education. That’s not equivalent to being an axe murderer. I’m fun, although I definitely color inside the lines. I’m not a rule breaker, but is it that bad?
Now to analyze me... I try… I really do. I know I’m not all brand name, way too expensive clothing and accessories, but I’m also not a bastard alligator. I try to keep my hair up with cute cuts and highlights. My face is not model gorgeous, but I am far from ugly. My body is normal, I think. Before working seven days a week I kept up with the gym, and ate right. I am not oblivious to men looking at me from time to time. But I can’t seem to hold them. Lacey, I want to see picture of Lacey. Ty was head over heels for her. I can’t help but wonder what she looks like and what his type really is. Sadly, it’s not me.
Have I told you how amazing you are? Stella you are perfect. You look hot. I’m going to fuck you until you can’t walk.
Why all of that when I was a sure thing? I was so up front about hating bullshit lines. In hindsight, Ty never had to work very hard for me. He had me when he walked up to that table at our first meeting.
Zoey gets home, walks in my room and lies down on my bed, “I want it all, from the beginning. Tell me every last detail.” Pierce is working tonight. I can never keep up with his crazy shifts. It’s like one day on and one day off. Or is it two days on and two days off?
That’s exactly what I give her, everything. I start with the night at his studio when I was rushing to get out of there because I didn’t want to see him with Caroline. I admit that I was insanely attracted to him. The description of the first time we had sex has me longing to be with Ty again. It was only supposed to be a one-time thing but I continue on to each instance we were sexual together. I explain we talked about our similar family issues. I tell her that he mentioned Lacey but doesn’t really tell me details. I just know that she hurt him. That she ruined his faith in love. I explain that we shared a lot of time alone…just being us.
The tears drip when I admit to her that I really thought he felt more for me than he wanted too. The hardest part is when I say, “I think I love him, Zoey.” No more holding back, she deserves the truth. “No actually, I do love him, Friend. I didn’t go into this expecting to feel this much but what you all see and what we are like when we are alone is polar opposites. Honestly, I think you should commit me to an institution. Because in one breath, I tell you we were good together but in another I tell you he always held back and in turn…so did I. So were we good together? Or am I delusional?”
She soothes me. “Stella, something had to have been there. You two were raving lunatics. I’ve never seen you this emotional over a man. Pierce thinks Ty was so over the top jealous from you going out with, Jason.”
“I didn’t want to go out with him.”
“I know that now. We both were at fault, Stella. I pushed Ty into making you go out with him. You on the other hand, should have told me you were in love.”
“You’re right.”
“If it makes any difference, Jaxon told me that in the two plus years of knowing Ty, he’s never allowed a woman into his bedroom... much less allowed one to stay the night.”
“That doesn’t help, Zoey. It just means something seriously wrong with me to make him not want me.” After more talking, calming and soothing she sits with me until sleep pulls me under.
Wednesday’s torture because my eyes burn from all the water that has fallen out of them these last couple days. It makes it difficult work. But, work is a necessity so I push on with a lot of coffee. Damn, I have cried more in the last month than I think I have in my whole effing life.
At home I try to comprehend the chapter I’ve read ten times, but the blank ceiling is much more interesting. My brain will not shut off with so many unanswered questions. My phone dings with a text from Zoey.
Zoey: Okay. So I’m at dinner with The Caulders. Pierce is working but he begged me to please go with Ty. He didn’t think he could handle dealing with Nan alone. So here I am. Question? Have you ever met the mom? Or sister?
Me: Why is he worried about Ty being alone with Nan? Trust me. He’s not going to tell her anything. Isn’t Pop there too?
Zoey: Yeah, they are both here. She pushed Ty to come tonight. But me and Pierce didn’t feel he could handle all the conversation she requires, so I’m the buffer.
Me: Did he tell Nan? About us?
Zoey: Yes. And Pop.
Me: Oh…I really didn’t think he would. So who’s this mom you’re asking about? And who’s sister?
Zoey: TY’S!!!
Me: What????????
Zoey: TY’S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: What????? Ty’s mom is there?
Zoey: Yes!
Me: I’ve never met her. He said she’s a real piece of work and not a good mom. But he’s an only child Zoey…so who’s the sister?
Zoey: The Bad mom…she’s here!!! The non- existent Sister…she’s here!!! The mom is absolutely beautiful in a I’m a hot mess kinda way. The sister is just equally as pretty but in a I’m a spoiled bitch way.
Me: WTF?
Zoey: I don’t know. Ty’s in rare form. He’s all stiff and quiet. I’m texting you in the bathroom because you coulda cut the tension with a knife at the table. I’m on my second glass of wine and Ty’s on his third moving onto his fourth.
Me: The sister… Is she Young? Older? She was introduced as the sister?
Zoey: 1 or 2 years younger than us. Yes. She introduced herself to me as his sister. Ty corrected her and said she’s a stepsister if you want to call her that.
Me: OMG! That’s fucked up. He never mentioned a sister and I had NOOOO idea the mom was in town. He had a lot of phone calls lately that made him upset but I still don’t know who the hell those were from. Sorry you are the buffer for that craziness.
Zoey: No worries. I feel so bad for Ty I just want to grab his hand and pull him out of here and take him home with me. He is MISERABLE!
Me: What about Nan and Pop? Do they look happy about them being at dinner?
Zoey: No! But I can tell Nan is trying to show me all is well. You know? Alright I have to head back or they are going to think that I was blowing up the bathroom.
Me: Gross….okay. I’m going to bed. I’m exhausted. Hey... He’s bad? I mean Ty’s bad?
Zoey: Yeah he is…I know Ty is not like my best friend or anything. But he’s not happy. I can tell you that. Oh and Stel, it’s only 8pm…eat and read something. Maybe go workout. All this zombie behavior is not healthy.
Me: Okay. Talk to you later or tomorrow. Are you staying here or at Pierces?
Zoey: Our place. Pierce works all night.
Me: K. Text me if you need me. I’m right here.
I lay there and ponder Ty’s mom and sister. The fist squeezing at my heart hurts as I picture Ty sitting there with that woman, and the non-existent sister. I wonder if that was who had him angry on the phone all the time. I pull up Ty’s name on my phone. I type out a text to the effect of: If you need me I’m here. But I press the back button and erase it all. If he needed me, I would be by his side. I’m not, my best friend is.
I haven’t fallen asleep since our text, and I hear Zoey come in. I pray she doesn’t come in my room. I just don’t want to talk tonight. Once I know she’s settled and all the rustling around ends I leave my room for a drink of water. I stop dead in my tracks as my body tightens. I feel a familiar burn start in between my legs. I can smell him…Ty. He’s been here very recently.
The water is refreshing as it slides down my throat. Since all this happened, food and water have not been very important. The clock reads one o’clock and I have to at least get a couple hours of sleep to function at work.
When I leave the kitchen I see a foot hanging over the end of our couch. Rounding cautiously, my heart falls into my feet. It’s him. He’s peacefully sleeping, and smells of Ty and alcohol. He’s like a magnet for me. I drop to my knees and sit here silently…cautiously. I would die if he woke and found me staring at him. I watch his breathing and can tell he is in a deep sleep. After several minutes my heart calms back to normal and my breaths come slower instead of short quick burst. I come to the conclusion that he doesn’t know I’m near. Quietly, I crawl a little closer. My eyes take in every feature. He’s fully dressed except his shoes. His hair is messy sexy, and his eyes are fluttering. I would kill to know what he is dreaming about. His nose leads to those irresistible full lips, then to his strong chin and jaw. My heart hurts. I want him to grab me and tell me he’s sorry. Tell me that he misses me. Tell me that he wants to be with me completely. I would apologize as well. What kind of woman has a man pleasure her then leaves on a date with another? I actually imagine waking him and leading him to my bed. But reality is a bitch…that’s not what he wants. He came in our condo and didn’t even try to wake me or come to me in any way. Another sad reality check…he doesn’t want me like that.
Did he really truly ever?
I sit next to him for a while. He smells so damn good. My mind envisions him having to sit there with his mom at dinner. Zoey said that he was stiff and quiet. I take his hand in mine. Again my hearts picks up as I worry his eyes are going to flash open. Two of my fingers slide up and down one of his. It’s a small gesture but it feels good to touch him. I want to be right next to him and cuddle up in his arms. The tears fill my eyes and spill onto the floor. It’s a silent cry, like they all are. I’m never good enough. I wanted this man. I wanted this man with all my heart. I can’t have him and I feel like unzipping my skin…stepping out of it and running away from the shear frustration of it all.
ARRGGHHH! Why? Why not me Ty?
Maybe we should talk. Maybe that would ease my mind. Maybe if he told me one more time it’s not you it’s me I would believe it. I’m just so damn instantly mad at myself for being me! The not good enough me!
It’s obvious with all the moving, touching and crying I’ve done he drank a ton and is not waking. I lean on the couch, prop my head on my hand and just watch him sleep as I wipe my tear soaked face. His scent is relaxing, and the sound of him breathing is soothing. After a while I lay my head down and he adjusts. I stay as still as a statue. His hand lands on my shoulder and after he rubs a few circles on my skin his breathing evens out again. I just need a few more minutes with him…
“Stel….Stel…wake up.” I feel hot breath in my ear. “Stella, wake up friend,” I slowly lift my head and realize Zoey’s waking me. “I set my alarm to tell you he stayed. He was wasted so I brought him home with me to sleep it off. I didn’t want you to find him here without me telling you he stayed. Now I don’t want him to find you lying in your snot while he sleeps.” I stand up, thank her and head straight to my bathroom for a shower. It’s time to head into work and I’m exhausted.
Life has to get easier than this.