Burnt (6 page)

After too many drinks, taunts, and dares one night, Dagger and I got in the cage to go a few rounds. Dagger went down hard in less than three minutes flat. That was when I started taking up regular cage matches most weekends. Everything from there on out is history.

I’m not the biggest brother in our chapter, but close to it. I’m about as tall as my dad at six foot four, and we both round out the scales at 240 pounds. I work hard at this shit though. I might eat like a caveman, all steak, meat, and potato’s, but I work out every day. At least two hours in the gym at the club house per day on top of my cage fights on weekends, and I run most nights. The running at night originally started so I could get away from DB. Now it’s taken on another purpose. My route takes me straight past Kendall’s house every night. I say I do it to clear my head, but who am I kidding? That’s definitely the reason I keep doing it. I feel like I’ve got to keep an eye on her. Make sure she’s safe. That she doesn’t have boyfriends hanging around, or male-female sleepovers.

I know Kendall goes on dates from time to time, but between her dad, my dad, the brothers I enlist to help watch her, and me we keep that shit as limited as possible. If a man can’t stand up to us. Fight for Kendall instead of running away like a scared little girl pissin his pants, he’s not worthy of Kendall in the first place. I suppose me doing this shit could be considered me being an asshole, but I really don’t fucking care. Letting Kendall move on with another motherfucker is not going to fly with me. It’ll be over my fucking dead body before I let some dirty motherfucker touch Kendall. I get she’s not technically mine, but I’ve never been able to convince my heart or head of that little fact.

Stepping out of the shower so I can towel off quickly, I hear DB’s annoying, whiny voice through the door.

“Get someone to get the rug rat today would you? I’ve got an appointment with Sally to get my nails done at three, and I can’t pick her up.”

That’d be fucking right. The only day this month Isabella has to pick up Lexi and she makes fucking plans. With Sally no less. I kind of can’t blame her for being friends with Sally though. Sally’s a club whore, and not a very popular one. She alright looking, and is apparently down to do anything. She’s a little on the chunky side of healthy, and I swear the bitch doesn’t even have all her own teeth. I can’t say for sure, but from what I’ve heard it’s true. Saying all that, she’s nice enough to the guys, other chicks, and old ladies to their faces. Behind their backs is a different story altogether. That and the fact she is the only person that’ll have anything to do with Isabella, makes Sally pretty unpopular. Isabella latched on to Sally because no one else will give her the time of day unless it’s to call her out for something. It stands to reason that the two of them are friends. Replying to my cunt of a wife I say,

“For fucks sake Isabella. I got that run today. Can’t get out of it now. Dad’ll be on it as well as Arrow, Priest, and Dagger. Brenna is out of town visiting her Ma. Who the fuck is gonna get her if you can’t?”

Tapping her nails against the door clearly bored with the little dilemma that is our daughters’ transportation Isabella offers her suggestion.

“Can’t that skanky tattoo artist bitch get her? The rug rat loves her anyway, and we all know she wants a piece of my husband’s cock. Surely she’ll do you a solid and get her if you ask.”

Fucking. Cunt. Isabella damn well knows Kendall will have Lexi any time she’s asked. She’s played on it often enough. When she’s faking being sick, because she never really is, the solution is, get Kendall to get her. She has a dentist’s appointment, cough-bullshit-cough, get Kendall to get her. Not to mention Isabella’s favourite, the one she loves to rub in Kendall’s face however often she can, it’s fucking date night, get Kendall to have her. Why am I such an asshole and keep letting her pull this shit you ask? It’s simple. Because if Kendall has Lexi then someone, namely me, has to pick Lexi up. Yeah I’m a fucking dick. It’s also probably borderline close to cheating on DB the way I rush over to Kendall’s too. Honestly I don’t give a flying fuck how I get to spend time with Kendall. Only that I do.

Sighing I run my razor over my face, and bark out,

“What the fuck ever Isabella. I’ll call her when I’m done gettin Lexi ready for nursery. Do whatever the fuck you want. You will anyway.” I know it’s’ true, so does she. Isabella does what she wants when she wants. Damn whoever it hurts or inconveniences.

This run I’ve got today is only a short one thank fuck. Hopefully I’ll be home by dinner if all goes as planned, otherwise I’ll have to get Kendall to keep Lexi overnight. It won’t bother Kendall, but I don’t like doing it too often. Not that it hasn’t happened a time or two however. It started when Lexi was about one, Kendall having her overnight. Since then it hasn’t just a handful of times either if I’m being perfectly honest.

I was on a three day out of state run the first time I got a call from Kendall letting me know she had Lexi, and was keeping her for the night. At first I thought something must have happened to Isabella. Wrong! Isabella called Kendall whining about being stuck in the house with a baby all day every day. She told Kendall she deserved a girls’ night out especially when her husband is running around on her behind her back. Thankfully Priest was on the same run with me, so Kendall knew where I was and how long I’d be gone for, and not that I was cheating on DB. Being the sweet kind hearted woman Kendall is, she jumped at the chance to have my baby girl overnight. I only found out about the fact my daughter spent two nights in a row with Kendall when Brenna called Priest to bitch about my wife being a neglectful cow. Why it surprised Brenna after seeing firsthand what Isabella’s like with Lexi I had no idea. Clearly it did though. After hearing Isabella had palmed our daughter off on someone else I called I her and reamed her ass, but like always she laughed at me telling me Saint Kendall offered ending the conversation by hanging up. Fucking. Bitch.

Giggling like a fucking school girl, that shit is not sexy ladies, Isabella adds, “Well if that’s how you feel I might as well make a night out of it and catch up with some old friends for drinks. You know I don’t get to go out often being stuck with the rug rat and all.” LIE. Isabella goes out at least two nights a week. Whether its drinks with friends, dinner, movies, or girl talk she uses any excuse to get out the house and away from her responsibilities.

In the end who the fucking cares? Not me that’s for sure. She can go out and stay out. Actually fuck yes! That’s a fucking fantastic idea, and I hope she does. “I might just crash with Sally then. She’s been lonely since Arrow won’t give her his dick anymore. You don’t care do you Dec?”

Nope. Not one fucking bit.

“Nah. That’s cool. Keep Sally Company. Whatever.”

“I think I will. Good idea baby. Love you. I’m goin back to bed now seeing as you wore me the fuck out. Tell the rug rat to keep it down this morning would you?” Yeah. Fuck you too lady.

Washing off the rest of the shaving cream, jamming my legs into a pair of jeans, I buckle my belt and pull on my grey Henley. My cut takes pride of place hanging on the hook on the back of the bathroom door. I slip it on just before leaving the bathroom heading out to find the rest of my paraphernalia. Keys, wallet, phone, and money clip all live in a bowl in the kitchen on a shelf that mischievous little hands can’t reach. I’m forever forgetting that shit if I don’t dump it there on my way in the door. More likely little hands get hold of it because I don’t put it where it belongs and Lexi’s a hundred dollars richer while I’m scratching my ass wondering where my cash went.

Opening the door I see Isabella was already conked the fuck out, and I can hear my Angel humming softly to herself in the kitchen. Lexi is constantly getting out her own bowl, and cereal often organising breakfast for herself. It’s not a surprise when your lazy ass mom won’t do it for you. It’s fend for yourself, or hope dad’s home. The only other alternative is to starve in Lexi’s world. Sad, but true.

I close the door quietly so I don’t wake DB. God forbid she have to be awake before noon. I make my way down the hall as silently as possible because I love watching Lexi when she doesn’t know I’m looking. Her sweet cherub face makes the cutest expressions when she’s concentrating. Her nose scrunches up, and she bites on her lower lip. Just like someone else I know. Kendall’s always chewed on her lower lip practically abusing the poor thing when she’s trying to figure something out.

Coming into the kitchen I can’t help but laugh at what I hear. Lexi is humming ‘Sweet Home Alabama’. Fucking Hell. Kendall has sung or hummed that song to Lexi hundreds of time since she was a baby. My baby girl didn’t sing her ABC’s first, or that fucking stupid spider song. You know the one where the dumb bastard keeps climbing some fucking spout like the outcome is going to change. Fucking idiot. No. My baby’s first song was Lynyrd Skynyrd’s, Sweet Home Alabama. The first time Lexi couldn’t be calmed I was pretty much pullin my hair out at the roots not knowing what the fuck to do. Kendall promptly took my squalling infant daughter who was by now bright red from her wails, and headed to the juke box to put that fucking song on. While cradled in Kendall’s arms being rocked to the sounds of ‘Sweet Home Alabama’, Lexi nodded off and it’s been her magic song ever since.

I overheard Kendall telling Lexi one day when she was about three that everyone has a magic song. When Lexi asked what her dad’s was, Kendall smiled telling her that it’s ‘Until It Sleeps’ by Metallica. Lexi looked at her strangely and Kendall laughed pulling out her iPhone to play it for her. After the song was finished Lexi wanted to know what Princess Kendall’s magic song was. I HATED with everything in me the expression on Kendall’s face when she looked down at my daughter. Her eyes were glassy, and her smile was sad. She answered Lexi and played her magic song too. Mumford and Sons’ ‘I will wait for you’. FUCK. ME!

I can’t say that hope didn’t flare in my chest that day with Kendall’s revelation of song because it did. For years I had tried to think of how I could say I was sorry. How I wished I hadn’t done what I had to her. I wished more than any-fucking-thing I could take back the fucking disgusting words I spewed at her that night on the back lawn of her parents’ house. I can’t though. Not yet. I have a plan. I don’t know how to make it happen yet, but I know I have to end this charade with Isabella. Divorce her ass. Get full custody of my daughter, and finally make my way back to Kendall. It’s a long shot thinking Kendall will even forgive me let alone want me in her life that way. I have to try though.

Jumping out into the middle of the kitchen I yell,

“Boo!” Lexi giggles jumping straight into my arms. Burying my face in her hair I take in the sweet smell of her strawberry shampoo saying,

“Morning Angel Face. Did you sleep good?”

Nodding rapidly her blonde curls bounce as she looks deep into my eyes with her hands on my cheeks.

“Morning Dad Bear.” She’s called me that for going on two-years now, and I hope she never stops because it’s too fucking cute. Kissing my cheeks over and over Lexi wiggles her little legs so that I put her down. “Did you sleep good too dad?” She asks while cocking her little blonde eyebrow.

Some of her facial expressions are so grown up for a four-year-old.

“I did Angel Face. I’ve got a surprise for you today. You want to hear it?”

Lexi bounces up and down on her tiny feet excited as all get out.

“Yes daddy. Yes. Surprise, surprise.”

Chuckling at her enthusiasm, I pull out the milk turning the coffee pot on in the process. Jesus I need caffeine to face todays run. It’ll be a long ass fucking day that’s for sure.

“Right then Angel, surprise it is. Do you want Kendall to pick you up today?”

Knowing what her response will be, I almost cover my ears in preparation. “YES!!! Pretty, pretty please.”

Yes. She has the cute as fuck pout going too. How can I ever deny my girl anything?

“Okay Angel. You sit and eat your cereal. Dad’s going to have a smoke, and ask Kendall to pick you up from nursery.” Nodding while shovelling cereal in her mouth Lexi does exactly as I ask. Good girl. Lexi’s a pretty easy going kid ninety-nine percent of the time. The other one percent she’s a holy fucking terror. Stubborn as shit when she wants to be, and there’s no arguing with her if she really wants or doesn’t want something. Thankfully I don’t have to come up against that side of her very often.

Walking out the back door slumping onto one of the sun lounges, I heft my feet onto the railing, and pull out a smoke lighting it while I dial Kendall’s cell. It rings five times before I hear a muffled thump followed by a string of curses.

“Oh fuck!”

Chuckling at her I reply,

“Morning, Sweetheart. You alright?” The sheets rustle and she releases mighty big yawn.

“Jesus Christ Declan. It’s seven-AM. Where’s the fire?” It’s the same every time I wake her before nine-AM. Kendall is NOT a morning person. The tattoo shop doesn’t open till eleven-AM, so lucky girl gets to sleep the morning away. Back when we were in high school Kendall used to be up at the crack of dawn trying to fit in extra hours of drawing or painting. She told me she loved painting sunrises and also the sky before it became fully light.

Clearing my throat I reassure her there isn’t an emergency, well not that I know of anyway.

“No fire woman. Just needed to talk to you before you start getting ready for the day.”

Yawning again Kendall replies with,