Burned (9 page)

‘You should be looking at the view and concentrating on the stuff that matters. Like my gift to you. It’s waiting in the capsule.’ She leaned forward and hugged me. ‘Happy birthday, Rosie. I hope it’s a special one.’

‘Why have you left my gift in the capsule? Someone might steal it. What is it?’

She pulled away from me and gave me a long look, a smile and then a little push. ‘Go on, birthday girl. Find out.’

Still looking at my sister, wondering what she’d bought me, I climbed the steps. I was expecting her to follow but she just stood there in the middle of our friends, watching with a smile on her face. I knew something was going on but I had no idea what.

Only when I stepped into the capsule did I turn my head.

Hunter stood there, with his back to the view, watching me.

‘Happy birthday, Ninja.’

CHAPTER TEN

I stared at him, felt a flicker of panic and then turned quickly to find my sister and the others but the attendant was sealing our capsule and the rest of my group were on the other side of the barrier, watching avidly.

My eyes met Hayley’s accusingly and she blew me a kiss.

I’d assumed my present was a trip on the London Eye, but I realized now her gift was Hunter. We were about to spend thirty minutes suspended over the city in our own private glass bubble. Just the two of us. Thirty minutes during which I had to hide how I felt about him. It was going to be the longest thirty minutes of my life.

It was probably going to be the longest thirty minutes of his life, too.

I felt awkward.

He’d obviously been manipulated into it by my sister, but he probably thought I was behind it because it was just the sort of stunt I would have pulled at eighteen if I’d had the funds. ‘I’m sorry. I knew nothing about this. You should have said no.’

‘Do you wish I had?’

I gave a casual shrug. ‘I love having friends around me on my birthday, but I’m sure there are a million other places you’d rather be. This was Hayley’s idea.’ I wanted to smile, but honestly, my face was exhausted. I had no idea why fake smiling was so much more tiring than real smiling but it was. I just couldn’t do it anymore.

‘No, it wasn’t. It was my idea.’

The capsule was slowly rising upward but I wasn’t looking at the view; I was looking at him. ‘Yours?’

‘I know how much you love the London Eye. I thought it was time we talked.’

‘I see you every day at work.’ I was going to kill Hayley for agreeing, but I wasn’t going to be able to kill her until the capsule had finished its circle, which meant that for the next half an hour I was locked in an enclosed space with Hunter.

‘You’ve been avoiding me.’

‘I’ve been busy.’

‘But now you’re not busy, so you can listen to what I have to say.’

‘Sure.’ I shrugged and strolled to the glass, pretending to look at the view. I kept my back to him. Easier to control my body language that way.

It bothered me that just occupying the same space as him could have this effect on me.

The capsule rose slowly and I could see London spread out beneath our feet. Lights flickered across the dark surface of the river. It would have been captivating if I hadn’t been a captive. I saw his reflection in the glass and knew he was standing right behind me.

‘I want to talk about why I left.’

‘I already know. I was clingy.’

‘That isn’t why.’ He curved his hands over my shoulders and I wished there were an emergency exit or something, because the last thing I wanted or needed was to think about that time in my life. I’d die of embarrassment and I was pretty sure it wasn’t going to be good for tourism having a corpse in this capsule.

‘We don’t need to talk about this. I don’t blame you. I understand.’

‘No, you don’t understand.’ His tone was raw and his hands tightened on my shoulders. ‘I didn’t leave because I didn’t care. You didn’t drive me away. I left because I knew it was the right thing to do. But leaving was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.’

I stood still. ‘It was hard?’

‘I was crazy about you.’

My stomach curled. I felt a wild flutter of excitement that I killed instantly. ‘That makes no sense.’

‘When we met, you were vulnerable. Lonely and, yes, pretty messed up. I wasn’t sure of your feelings.’ He breathed deeply. ‘You were emotionally raw. Would you have wanted to be with me if that hadn’t been the case?’

I wondered how he could possibly have come to that conclusion. ‘I was crazy about you, too. We spent every minute together.’

‘Exactly.’ He paused, his mouth tight. ‘And I didn’t want that responsibility. It didn’t feel right to me. It was too close to what my mother did. And yes, I was scared. I was afraid of letting you down, of failing you.’

‘So you went to Thailand?’

‘There were plenty of other places I could have trained, Rosie.’ He turned me gently so I was forced to look at him. ‘Why do you think I picked Thailand?’

‘Because you wanted to get as far away from me as possible.’

He gave a humourless laugh. ‘You’re so wrong about that.’

‘You always wanted to train in Thailand.’

‘Train, yes. Not move there.’ His tone was raw. ‘I did it because I loved you and I wasn’t good for you. I left because I knew if I didn’t, we’d start it up again.’

My knees were shaking. ‘You loved me?’

‘You know I did.’

‘No, I didn’t know! You never said.’

‘Maybe not those exact words, but I thought it was obvious. Do you remember your eighteenth birthday?’

‘Vaguely.’ I saw him smile and I couldn’t help it—I smiled, too.
Crap.
I was hopeless at playing it cool. ‘Oh, all right, yes, I remember it. Mostly because you drove too fast.’ And because he’d made it special. Every kiss, every stroke, every gentle touch, had made sure my first time would be the best. The way he’d held my head as he’d kissed me, taken his slow, thorough time to take our relationship to the next level. ‘We had sex. It was no big deal.’ It had been the biggest deal of my life.

‘Everything changed. Our relationship was so serious, so intense. You were so afraid to go and live your life. Instead you clung to the safe option, the familiar.’

‘Now we’re getting to the embarrassing bit,’ I muttered, but he simply smiled and scooped my face into his hands. What I saw in his eyes made me dizzy. ‘I don’t blame you for going to Thailand, although it was a long way to go to avoid me.’

‘I wasn’t avoiding you. I didn’t trust myself. I knew if you were there, under my nose, I’d want you back. I knew what I wanted.’ His voice was raw. ‘It was you I wasn’t sure of. I wasn’t sure you knew what you wanted and then you started giving things up for me and that made my decision.’

‘What about my decision?’ Anger flickered. ‘You could have said all this and I could have told you what I thought. And anyway, you’re talking rubbish. I didn’t give anything up.’

‘You gave up your college place so that you could stay with me.’

I felt my cheeks heat. ‘I wasn’t that bothered about college.’

‘And now you have a degree in physiology and sports science. Would you have had that if I’d stayed?’

I swallowed. ‘Probably not. After you left, I gave up on men and surrounded myself with friends. I lived my life, dated guys like Brian. Guys who were nothing like you.’

There was a brief pause. ‘And how did that work out?’

I could have lied, but I didn’t see the point. ‘Pretty crap. Most men don’t like me practising my turning kicks on a date.’

‘I’m sorry about the way I did it. I’m sorry I hurt you.’

He’d torn me off him like a piece of sticky tape—quickly. I saw now it had been the right thing to do.

‘That’s the past.’ I used the words he’d used to me all those years before and I could see in his eyes he remembered.

‘Good. Because I want us to start again. And I want to know how you feel about me.’

I thought about my dreams, the images that rolled around my head tormenting me when I was supposed to be sleeping. ‘My feelings are my problem.’ My voice was soft, although goodness knows why, because we were suspended above the river Thames and no one could hear us. ‘I’ll deal with them.’

‘Tell me.’

I gripped the rail and stared down at London sparkling beneath us. It felt surreal. It felt as if we were on a magic carpet, flying over the city. ‘We’ve always had something special....’ I kept my eyes forward, not looking at him, because I was trying to be measured and not gush all over him. ‘Sex is part of that, yes, but for me there’s more. I can’t just switch off everything else and you don’t want that. You don’t want someone loving you and I understand that after what you saw with your mother.’

‘What my mother shared with my father wasn’t love. It was an unbalanced, inequitable relationship with all the control on my father’s side.’ His voice hardened. ‘He sapped her of confidence until she believed she couldn’t exist without him. That’s not how we are.’

‘We?’

He slid his hand behind my neck and I felt his fingers, strong and warm against the nape of my neck. ‘I want all of it, Ninja.’ His voice was low and sexy. ‘I want the good and the bad, the exciting and the mundane. I want to prop you up when you feel low, hold you when you’re sad and fight your battles.’

He was throwing my own words back at me and I stood for a moment, mesmerized by the look in his eyes.

‘I learned how to do those things for myself.’ I was trembling. ‘I fight my own battles. I comfort myself when I’m low. I have a secret stash of chocolate for that purpose.’

The corners of his mouth flickered. ‘Being able to do those things for yourself doesn’t stop someone else doing them alongside you. I don’t just want sex, Rosie. I love you.’

My knees were shaking. He’d called me Rosie, not Ninja. He’d said— ‘You love me? But when—how—when—?’ Oh, God, now I was doing it. Not finishing my sentences.

‘“When” is easy to answer. I fell in love with you when you climbed on the back of my motorbike. I tried to get you out of my system. Maybe I did for a while, but when I saw you in the restaurant that night, I knew my feelings were as strong as ever. As for the why—’ he gave a half smile ‘—how long have you got?’

My heart was pumping. ‘How long do you need?’

He glanced out of the capsule and judged the time left before we arrived back at the beginning. ‘I’ll give you the highlights. I love your sense of humour. I love the way you laugh so hard you can’t stop yourself. I love the fact that you can knock me over with a kick if you get your balance right—’

‘There’s nothing wrong with my balance!’

He slid his arms around me and hauled me hard against him. ‘I love how much you love your sister and your friends. I love—’

‘Stop!’ Feeling as if I were flying, I covered his lips with my fingers and then lifted myself on tiptoe and wrapped my arms round his neck. ‘Stop talking and kiss me. I really want you to kiss me because it’s magical up here and I want to have this moment to remember always.’

He lowered his head to mine and he kissed me while the world outside sparkled, the lights of London a carpet beneath our feet and the stars above like jewels in a sky of velvet-black. I’d never been this happy, ever. I knew that there were no guarantees. No one knows the future. But right now this was what I wanted. And I wanted it for all the right reasons.

I didn’t want Hunter for security; I wanted him for himself. ‘I love you, too.’ I whispered the words against his mouth and felt him smile against my lips.

When I eventually pulled away, something made me glance down toward the capsule beneath us and I saw my sister and the rest of our friends gazing up at us, grinning like idiots. I could see they were holding a birthday cake and gesturing.

‘They’re going to eat my cake. I will kill them.’ I’d never loved my sister more than I did at that moment.

I was so happy I did a turning kick in the middle of the capsule and almost smacked Hunter in the head.

Amused, he pulled me back into his arms. ‘Happy birthday, Ninja.’

‘Thank you.’ I slid my arms round him, my present.
My gift.
‘This was the best birthday.’

‘It isn’t over yet. This is just the beginning.’

As he brought his mouth down on mine, I closed my eyes, thinking that if this was the beginning, then the future was looking even better than my birthday cake.

* * * * *

About
the
Author

USA TODAY
bestselling author Sarah Morgan writes hot, happy contemporary romance and her trademark humor and sensuality have gained her fans across the globe. She has been nominated three years in succession for a prestigious RITA© Award from the Romance Writers of America and has won the award twice, in 2012 and 2013. She also won the RT Reviewers’ Choice Award in 2012 and has made numerous appearances in their Top Pick slot.

Sarah lives near London with her family, and when she isn’t reading or writing she loves being outdoors, preferably on vacation so she can forget the house needs tidying.

Readers can find out more about Sarah and her books from her website,
www.sarahmorgan.com
. She can also be found at
www.facebook.com/authorsarahmorgan
and on Twitter:
@SarahMorgan_

Books
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Morgan

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