Burn For Him (14 page)

“What the fuck was all that about?” He demanded.  I knew that he was only shouting because he was concerned about me, but it was the last thing I needed right now.

“He just went crazy.” I turned to look out of the window as the night blurred by us.

“Did he hurt you?” I knew that tone in his voice.  It was the one that said there would be some serious ass kicking going on if the answer was yes.

“No.” There was no point in saying anything.  There was no lasting damage. Not even a bruise.  Compared to what had happened to the boy, it didn’t even count.

“Are you sure?”

After what I had just seen, did he really think that I was going to go out of my way to defend Milligan? Sure, I had got caught up in the scuffle, but there was no point in harping on about it.  It would only make matters worse.  “Yes.  I’m sure.  He didn’t hurt me.  He beat up some random kid that bumped into me.”

“He did what? Why?”  Harper glanced over at me but the look on my face told him that it would be a better idea to keep his eyes on the road.

“I told you.  This kid just bumped into me.  He didn’t do anything wrong.  He didn’t hurt me in any way, shape or form.  But, Milligan just went ballistic.  He beat the shit out of him and he wouldn’t stop.  I couldn’t get him to stop.” A shudder ran through me. I was mentally exhausted.  I couldn’t even find the strength to cry.

“It’s all my fault.  I’m so sorry, Carrie” He looked over at me again briefly, but this time I didn’t look away.  What did he mean by that? It was all his fault?

He must have seen the question written all over my face, as he said “It was me that told him to come and see you at the hospital.  If he hadn’t of known where you were, he wouldn’t have come.  This wouldn’t have happened.  I’m so sorry.  All I wanted was to make you happy.”

“Don’t even think like that.  I’m just glad that I found out what he was really like now rather than later.”  And, I really meant that.

“I just wish it hadn’t happened like this, though.”

We were quiet for the rest of the trip home.  I didn’t want to talk about it anymore.  I didn’t even want to think about it.  Milligan wasn’t the man that I had thought that he was.  It was a lucky break, really.  I could have got myself too involved with him and then written it off as a one-off.  I couldn’t let this slide like that.  I had already been in deep enough.  Too deep for my liking. I’d been feeling things for him that I had never felt before.  He had done things to me that I had never experienced before.  I was glad that I could put an end to all of this now.  If it had happened later and I had fallen for him in a big way, then I knew that I would have been able to talk myself out of this and seen what he had been trying to tell me, that he was only protecting me.  I wouldn’t be able to see him for the psycho that he really was.

When we got home, I went straight into my bedroom.  Milligan had been sitting out outside the apartment building in his car.  I had no idea how he had got here so fast, but he had beaten us to it.  Harper wanted to go and confront him, but I refused to let him. I didn’t want to speak to him. I didn’t want Harper getting caught up in the middle. Milligan didn’t get out of the car.  He just watched my every move.  It scared me.

When we got inside, Harper didn’t say anything else to me or try to stop me and make me talk.  He knew me better than to do that.  I needed to sleep.  I needed to run and hide and forget.  I couldn’t waste any more time thinking about Milligan.  I had too much on my plate already.  In my head, he was already out of my life and I was moving on.  Not that I had much moving on to do.  He hadn’t exactly been a huge part of my life.  I had only known him for a mere few days.  I wasn’t willing to make meeting him into a bigger deal than it was.  This was something that I could forget.  A dip in the road.  That was all.

I didn’t sleep well.              

Chapter Eight

The next morning I woke up with a banging headache. The last time I remembering looking at the clock, it flashed out in its taunting red LED that it was 4:32am.  Now, my alarm was waking me up at 6am. Great.  Just what I needed.

I heard Harper moving about.  He was always an early riser, liking to warm up and work out before hitting the gym.  I don’t know where he got all of that energy from.  I wasn’t too sure that I was ready to face him just yet. I knew that he would want to talk about what happened with Milligan and all I wanted to do was forget about it.

I did the very bare essentials in the bathroom to get ready for work. We had another meeting today, hence why I was up ridiculously early, I knew that I was going to look like shit, no matter what I did, and that Steve would gripe about it when he saw me.  No amount of make-up was going to hide the fact that I had lost another night’s sleep.  In an attempt to make it look like I had at least made an effort, I took the time to twist my hair into a complicated up-do.  That was a little better, I guessed.

At least there were no bruises from my little ‘scuffle’ last night.  That would have been kind of hard to explain to Harper seeing as I said that Milligan hadn’t touched me.

“Morning.” Harper called as soon as I walked out of my bedroom.  He sounded overly cheerful and chirpy.  I knew that smile he wore was forced.

“Morning, Harper.” I passed by him to put on the kettle.  I knew that he would need coffee this morning, and I hoped that the noise of the boiling water would deter him from talking.  You can’t say that I didn’t think of everything.

No such luck.

“So, what are you going to do about Milligan?”

I purposely bustled looking around the kitchen for something to eat for breakfast.  “Nothing at all.” I pulled out a chocolate croissant.  I didn’t even bother to wait to warm it up before tucking in.  “Have we heard anything else from the hospital?”

“Don’t try and change the subject.”

I turned around to look at him finally.  I took my time finishing the mouthful I was chewing.  He just looked at me and waited patiently.  “Well, there’s nothing to talk about.  Milligan is a total whack job and I am not seeing him again.  End of story.”

Harper looked at me doubtfully.  “But, I thought that you liked him.  Don’t you want to talk to him about what happened last night?”

“Not really.”

“So, you’re just not going to see him ever again?”

“That’s right.”  Why was he pushing like this? “No.  I am not seeing him again.  I don’t want to see him again.  I don’t want to talk to him. I haven’t known him long enough to have any kind of lasting affection.  What I felt for him was purely physical.  Nothing else.  He killed that by acting like he did last night.” I explained further. If I had been speaking to anyone else, I would have probably gone red when I said about it being purely physical, but I knew that Harper wouldn’t judge me for it.  He just wanted me to be happy.

“Well, I can’t say that I am really sorry.”

I looked up at him sharply. “So, why were you pushing me to talk to him?”

Harper went back to leaning against the kitchen counter with his hip.  “I wasn’t pushing.  I just saw how intense it got with you two right from the start.  I didn’t want you to look back one day and wished that you had spoken to him about it.  I didn’t want you to regret leaving it like this.”

“I can see where you’re coming from, but I haven’t known him long enough to care.  All I will look back on and remember was that he was a psycho and that I had a lucky escape.” I started to walk back out of the kitchen.  I had to go and find some shoes to go with this outfit.  “Oh, and I’ll remember that he was a damn good lay.” I called over my shoulder.

“Carrie!” Harper laughed and I was glad.  It had lightened the moment again.  I knew that he would have been a little shocked at me coming out with something like that, but I had said it purely to make him laugh.  I shook my head and grinned, heading back into my bedroom.  No sooner had I found my boots and slipped them, Harper shouted out to me.

“Carrie! Delivery!”

Hmmm.  I wondered what on earth it could be. Especially so early in the morning.  I hadn’t had the time to go online and order any books, so it couldn’t be that.

I walked into the hall just as Harper was shutting the front door.  He held the biggest bouquet of flowers that I had ever seen in his arms.  They must have cost an arm and a leg.  I could smell their fragrance from where I was standing.

“Well, you might not want to speak to him, but he sure wants to make it up to you.” He smirked.

I didn’t find it funny.

They were an assortment of roses, all colours of the rainbow.  There was no card with them but we both knew who they were from.  It was just his style.  All romantic and smooth and going for maximum effect.  Well, bad luck for him because that sort of thing didn’t work on me.  I just wasn’t the hearts and flowers kind of gal.  He’d wasted him money trying that one on me.

“I’ll take them in for Destiny.  She loves that kind of thing.” And she did.  Destiny loved flowers and surprises and being spoilt rotten.  If a guy pampered her and made her feel like a princess, she was hooked on them.  I just hoped that she would wake up while they were still in bloom to see them.  At least one of us would be able to appreciate them.

Harper didn’t make any kind of comment as I took them out of his arms and dumped them unceremoniously by the door.  I grabbed my bag and my jacket, checking that I had my purse and my phone with me.  “I’ll drop them off for her when I call in to see her on my way home from work.”

Harper said nothing about it as he scooped up his car keys, “Let’s head off, then.”

The day was pretty much as I had expected it to be.  Steve, my boss, was in a major bitch-fit mood.  Nothing I said or did was right and he rode my back all day.  It didn’t help matters when the florist came to the reception, dropping off another over-the-top bunch of flowers for me. Steve ranted and raved that this must be the reason why I was screwing up my work. He thought that it was because I was too preoccupied by my social life.  I nearly snapped when he said that.  I was worried about Dee.  That was where my mind was.  Milligan didn’t even come into the equation. But, my point was, I never let anything affect my work like that, and Steve knew that.  I didn’t know what was up with him, but he made my day thoroughly miserable.  I couldn’t wait to get out of the office at the end of the day.  I could only hope that he would chill out and that we would have a better day tomorrow.  This wasn’t like him at all.

I grabbed both of the huge bunches of flowers and skulked out of the office.  I called out goodbye to Steve, but all I got in response was a filthy look.  What the hell was his problem? I wasn’t used to him behaving like such a little bitch.

Pushing through the revolving doors, I couldn’t see where I was going thanks to these ridiculously large bouquets, and I suddenly collided with a very solid chest. 

I knew the smell of that aftershave.  Milligan.  I didn’t need to look up through the foliage to see that it was him.

“I see you got the flowers.” He said in a gentle, soft voice.

I refused to meet his eyes.  I juggled with the two bunches of flowers in my arms so that I could get a better view of where I was going, which was a nearly impossible task.

“Looks like it, doesn’t it?” I tried to make my tone ice cold. “You shouldn’t have.”

“I wanted to.”

“You always do what you want, don’t you?” I muttered.

“Don’t I get a thank you?” I could see in my peripheral vision that he cocked his head at me but I still refused to look at him.

“I never asked you to send me flowers.”  I know that I sounded really ungrateful, but that was the plan.  I wanted him to know that nothing he did was going to change my mind.  Nothing he did was going to be enough.  Flowers sure as heck wouldn’t change my mind or soften me.  It hadn’t even really started between us and it certainly wasn’t going to go anywhere from here.  It was over before it started.

“Carrie, wait, please.”

I carried on walking.

“Please.  Don’t walk off.  I just want to talk to you.”

“What are you going to do if I don’t? Hit me?” I knew that that was a pretty childish shot, but it kind of slipped out.  I didn’t really care, either. I was done talking to him.

“You know that I would never hurt you.” He said, sounding sincere.  He didn’t make a move to follow me any further.

“Whatever.” I carried on walking away.

“I just want you to talk to me.”

“Well, ‘I want, never gets’ is what my mother used to tell me.”

“Don’t be so childish, Carrie.”

“You know what, Milligan? I can be whatever the fuck I want to be.  You don’t have to hang around here and listen to my childishness.  This isn’t going to happen.  I don’t care how many bunches of flowers you send me or whatever you have to say to me, I don’t want to talk to you.  I don’t want to see you again.” I paused to take a step toward him, looking him directly in the eye so that he knew I meant exactly what I was saying to him.  “I don’t want to see you ever again.”

“You don’t mean that.”

I laughed and rolled my eyes, “Yeah. I really do.”

He stepped forward to bridge the gap between us.  Now that I had decided to be brave and look him in the eye, I couldn’t look away.  I had temporarily forgotten quite how devastatingly handsome he was and how mesmerising his eyes were.  Just looking up into that masculine face made me want to drop the flowers and reach up to touch him.  I instantly hated myself for having that thought.

“Are you sure about that?” He reached up to run his finger slowly along my jaw line.  That single touch reminded me of everything that I had felt with him in the shower.  I wanted it again.  I wanted more.  I wanted him so badly. “Come to me, Carrie.”

Blinking, I tried to shake off that power that he seemed to hold over me.  It was strange and disconcerting.  My will had been so strong.  I’d resolved never to see him again.  Was I really this weak? Was I just putty in his hands? Could I really forget what he had done so easily?

“Come to me, Carrie.”

No.  No, I couldn’t.  I didn’t want this.  I didn’t want him. 

“Milligan.” I had to clear my throat and tear my eyes away from him to continue.  “Don’t send me any more flowers.  Don’t come here again.  Don’t come near me again.”  I blinked as I dragged my eyes away from him, and it was almost painful.  I turned to walk away while I still had the strength to do so.  I wanted to run from him, but I didn’t.  I walked away, hopefully looking confident and sure.

I glanced back at him just once as I crossed over the road.  He was still stood stuck still outside the entrance to my office.  I couldn’t see him too clearly from over here, I was too far away, but there was something about the way that he was standing there and watching me as I walked away gave me chills. 

In a way, I was glad that I’d had the strength to walk away, but that look still scared me.  I turned away from him and walked a little faster.

Walking into the hospital, all eyes were on me as I carried the two humungous bunches of flowers.  I’d even had to walk sideways like a crab through the main double doors and I still struggled with them.

“My, my! Look at those! Someone’s been a very lucky little lady.” Sylvie said to me as she watched me approached. I smiled at her.  I was getting used to see her in here and she was a welcome sight.

I wasn’t too sure that ‘lucky’ would have been the word that I would have used, but she wasn’t to know that.  Most women loved the thought of receiving flowers.  Not me, though.  And, not after what I’d seen. It just wasn’t enough.  Nothing would make up for that.

“How’s Nathaniel?” I asked her.  Her grandson had been involved in a horrific motorbike accident and he had been brought in the same day as Dee.  I didn’t ever see Sylvie leave the hospital, but the twinsets she wore daily changed in colour.

She shook her head sadly at me.  “No news yet.  He’s in surgery at the moment.” She pulled at the tissue she was holding in her hands, the only outwardly sign of her emotions.  “How is your friend?” She knew all about Dee.  We’d spent so much time over the last couple of days sitting side by side in the waiting room that the only thing we had to pass the time was to talk.

“No change here, either.”

“I’m very sorry to hear that, dear.”

I sat down next to her for a moment. I knew that if anything happened in the next few moments with Destiny that the nurses would come and find me.  I had the feeling that Sylvie needed someone with her just now.  Her son and daughter-in-law always sat in with their son, but Sylvie kept up her vigil in the waiting room.  We didn’t say anything to one another. We didn’t need to.  We were both going through the hell of not knowing.  Just being there for one another was enough.

It was a strange thing.  Before Saturday night, I hadn’t even known Sylvie.  Yet, she was here and she was a constant comfort to me.  She was like a favourite Aunt, someone I could talk to about anything without being judged.

Eventually, Sylvie dabbed at her eyes with the shredded tissue and sat up a little straighter in her chair.  She was a tough old bird and I hoped that I would be half as strong as she was when I got older.  “So, who are the flowers for?”