Burdened (A Burdened Novel) (61 page)

Honestly, I don’t know. Little Nathan seems okay
. He doesn’t seem like he would, but who can be sure? “I don’t know, Nathan.”

“I can understand that. But know
that I love my family, and Nathan has saved my life on many counts, and you’re my sister now.” He sits back against the couch. “So I love you too.”

I smile at him
. “Thanks.”

“Of course.” He picks up his book. “So what’s up with Scott’s girl
? She seems out of tune with everything.”

“She
is,
believe it or not. I’m not really sure how much she knows or doesn’t know. It really makes my head hurt—her and Scott.”

“Why doesn’t he just tell her everything?”

“I don’t know.” I lean back into the loveseat, looking around the living room. There’s a bookcase that covers one of the walls from the floor to the ceiling. How do they even reach the books at the top? I get up and walk over to it. They have all types of books: geography, biology, astronomy, fiction novels—anything you can think of.

I become aware of a change that comes over me, like when you walk from the cold into a hot house
and the heat covers you. It makes me aware that someone else is in the room. I turn around, seeing Glen.

I roll my shoulders
, trying to adjust to my new ability. Usually, the only person’s presence I’m aware of is Nathan. I don’t like it.

Little Nathan gets
up, pulling me back to the world. “I’ll talk to you later, sis.” He leaves the room, not speaking to Glen. He doesn’t even look at her.

She watches him leave and sits on the loveseat. “Who was that?”

“Nathan. He doesn’t do a lot of talking.”

She shrugs
. “So, you ready to go back to school?”

Oh
my gosh, freaking school. “No.” Thinking about going back to school makes me think about my dad and moving, then brings me to think about Nathan and missing him—now and later.

“We
ll, we only have a few months left. I’m ready to get it over with,” she says, like it’s no big deal.

Yea
h, because your guy goes to school with us, and you can see him any damn time you feel like it. “I know,” I say, walking to the couch that Little Nathan got up from. Glen comes and sits next to me. “Why didn’t you tell me that you gave it up to Scott in the photo lab?” I have been wanting to ask her since Scott said it.

She bursts in
to laughter. I half-smile at her, with raised eyebrows, waiting for her to answer. “Tracey!” she half-shouts.

“What?” I really want to know. Glen
is loose, yeah, but not that loose. “Tell me.”

“I did do that
,” she says, still smiling. “But I couldn’t help myself. I needed to have him. I wasn’t sure he was going to go for it. But when he did, I kept going.” She zones out for a moment, and I know she is about to get into the whole story.

I don’t want to hear it. “So why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why didn’t you tell me that Nathan was sleeping over your house?”

“I would have
, but you were already sleeping with Scott.” She punches my arm extremely hard. “Ouch!” I screech. She has really picked up strength.

I rub my arm
, looking up. The entire house is standing in the living room, before I can blink. “What’s going on? Tracey, are you okay?” multiple voices ask at the same time.

Uh? I look around at everyone
, and Glen sobers—eyes wide, also taking in the many people.

Tracey
!?
What the hell is going on
? Nathan is loud in my head.

I’m okay. Glen just punched me. But she didn’t mean to. Well, she meant to
, but didn’t mean to hurt me
.

Please stop letting that girl touch you.

Okay.

You okay?
he asks quickly.

Yes.

Good. I’ll see you later
.

Short and sweet
:
Okay
.

I look back to patient faces. They probably knew Nathan would check and I would answer him first. “I’m sorry
—I’m fine. Glen just punched me, not knowing her own strength.” They all relax and leave the room, no one saying anything.

“Wow, what was all that about?” Glen asks
, scooting back on the couch.

I shrug. “You really hit me hard.”

“I’m sorry. I guess I
don’t
know my own strength.”

“Clearly!”
We both laugh.

“
Anyway, I wanted to tell you, Cey, but you were always with Nathan. And I didn’t want you to think I was a rapist.”

My head turns to her too quickly
. “What do you mean?”

“Why are you moving so fast?”

“You first.”

She rolls her eyes. “I kind of
, like, forced him into it. I mean he didn’t
not
want it. But he didn’t
want
it either.”

I smile at her. “Don’t feel bad
. I forced Nathan into it too.”

Her eyes widen and we both laugh at the same time. We sit in the living room
, laughing and talking, enjoying each other’s missed company.

We gather around the kitchen table eating Taylor’s dinner. It’s good
. Nathan’s cooking is better, of course. They talk, and I frequently wander off, thinking about him and when he will be back.

Talking shouldn’t take this long. He should be
heading back by now, or be here already.

“So you and Scott are living here now?” Little Nathan asks Glen
, with a mouth-f of food.

“
Eww, Nathan. You don’t want to wait until your mouth is empty?” says Taylor, with a disgusted expression. I laugh at his twisted look.

“No
. If I did, I may have forgotten my question,” he responds, jokingly, putting his glass of water to his mouth.

“It is that bad?” Taylor asks
, with a softer expression. Her voice is sorry.

“Yea
h,” he answers sarcastically, finishing his plate. He looks back at Glen for her answer.

Glen looks like she isn’t sure if she can answer him. She’s never talked to
Little Nathan before—in her mind. And Scott isn’t here to tell her it is okay. She looks around the table at all the faces staring at her.

Her breathing picks up as her eyes widen. Her hands shake
, then the table starts to raddle. Everyone, except Glen, slowly starts backing away.

“Umm
, Glen, everything is okay,” I say, getting up from my seat, walking over to her, and reaching out to touch her back.

She looks at me with
a face from hell, and I instantly fly backwards from a rib-crushing force that she applies without touching me.

In the air, feet off the ground, I
feel glass shatter behind me and pieces cutting into my skin. I hit the ground on my back and flip onto my front, all while skidding across the grass.

Everything hurt
s. I lay on the grass in the backyard, unable to move. I’m unable to process what just happened. Little Nathan is kneeling at my side within seconds. There is yelling and banging going on in the house.

“
Tracey, are you okay? Should I help you?” He looks like he wants to help, but doesn’t know if touching me is a good idea.

I can’t speak
; I just feel pain. I try to lift my head but can’t—not even an inch. My breaths are quick and my lungs feel constricted.

That demanding presence
is all around me. “What the hell happened?” it says. “What the fuck is going on, Nathan?” Little Nathan jumps to his feet, faster than my eyes can see.

He goes right into explaining. “Glen lost it.” Warm hands are
suddenly on me; the pain starts to subside. “I asked her a question and she started to panic and shake, then the table started shaking. Tracey got up to check on her, and Glen threw her through a window.”

Nathan turns me over
, after he pulls the glass from my back. I watch his eyes study me, before he presses his hand against my chest and the other against my neck. My breathing is now easier and I no longer hurt.

“Thank you
,” I say softly, grateful the pain is gone.

He helps me to my feet. “What he said was true? That’s what happened?”

“Yes,” I answer, looking myself over.

Nathan looks at the ground. “Okay
.” He nods, then stalks toward the house quickly.

Oh shit. Little Nathan and I run after him.

The moment Nathan makes it to the doorway, Scott is in front of him. “Look Nathan, I’m sorry. It was an accident.”

Nathan sho
ves Scott to the side. “Move, Scott.”

Nathan gets a foot in the door and Scott is behind him, grabbing him by
the shoulder, throwing him backwards into the yard. I watch as Nathan flies backwards through the air, flips, and lands on his feet.

“Don’t
, Nathan.” Scott squares off. “I said it was an accident.”

“Scott, this has gone too far. Did you see Tracey? Did you see what she did to her? And you want me to stop
?!” Nathan stalks towards Scott. “Or, do I need to go through you to get to her? Because I’ve warned you.” His voice is threatening and full of anger.

“Nathan, calm down. Let me handle it. This is my fault
. I’ll get it right.”

Nathan is a foot away from Scott. “Damn right. This is your
entire
fault.” He closes the distance, pushing Scott violently. Scott slides backwards into the brick of the house.

Little Nathan runs to Scott
, and I to Nathan.

I grab his hands. “Baby
, wait. Calm down.” He looks at me and his night-blue eyes swirl brown.

“She hurt you
,” he half-growls.

“It
was
an accident. Let me explain further what happened.” I look behind me to make sure Scott isn’t about to try to attack. He isn’t; he’s talking to Little Nathan.

I turn back to Nathan. He doesn’t look half
-interested and his face is blank, but he doesn’t object. “Nathan asked her a question, and it seemed like she wasn’t sure if she could answer—like when I need for you to tell me it’s okay to speak to other guys.”

“Okay?”
he says, mild-mannered.

“S
o she panicked, and I guess being able to throw people is an ability she has. I can’t explain her spazzing out. I don’t know why she threw me, but I do know that if it wasn’t for her being blind to everything, it may not have happened.”

“So that still brings me to Scott.”

“Nathan, if you have a problem with me, let’s handle it!” Scott shouts from by the house.

I turn
, seeing Glen running from the house towards Scott. She wraps her arms around him, and he greets her. She turns to run to us, with a smile shoulder-wide, and Scott grabs her before she can. Good call, Scott.

“Scott
, you know I have a problem, and to be honest, if it wasn’t for Tracey being here, I would have handled it already.”

I turn back to him. “Babe
, that’s your family—your cousin. You don’t mean that.”

He acknowledges my statement but says nothing.

“I told you it was an accident,” Scott starts. “Let me handle it.”

“Handle it how!?
” Nathan shouts in anger. “This shit has been going on for too long. It’s old and bound to get worse. As if it wasn’t bad enough this morning, and now this! She could have killed her. Then what? Oh well,” he says with a shrug. “Fuck Tracey and Nathan. Scott’s good!”

“No, it’s nothing like that
, Nathan. But before you go spazzing out, let me do something about it,” Scott replies calmly.

I turn to Nathan before he can speak
, reaching both of my hands around his neck. I pull him down to me. “Nathan, look at me.” He does. “Let’s go for a walk.”

“Tracey
, n—”

“Let’s go for a walk
now
.”

He straightens and my arms lower
. He looks back at Scott, gritting his teeth, and his jaw hardens, popping out his jaw bone. I wrap my arm around his back, and pull him to turn around and walk with me.

We walk out
of the yard. He’s still tense. I move my arm and hand under his shirt. “Hey.”

He smiles
. “Hey, beautiful.”

“And how was your evening?”

“Tiring.”

“Did you find what you were looking for?”

“Yeah.”

“What happened with that?”