Burdened (A Burdened Novel) (21 page)

I watch Scott get up and walk over to Glen, and do just as Nathan said. I shake my head. This is too much.

Nathan shifts us so that we’re lying down with my body in front of his. I turn into him so that I can fall asleep to his scent. He wraps his warm arms around me and I quickly doze off.

My dreams flood of kissing Nathan as he stares at me with dark eyes. His hands are around my throat and I’m screaming, begging for him to let me go. He is hurting me and I am uncomfortable, but I won’t stop kissing him; I don’t want to.

He kisses me back, closing his eyes. When he reopens them, they are night-blue and they fill me with as much fear as a pitch-black sky would. He rubs my arms and all the fear goes away.

I close my eyes. Reopening them, I’m staring at a star-filled night sky. The moon is big, serving as the pupil, while the stars collage in a circular motion around it. There are deep and soft moans in the night air; some sound as if they hurt and others sound pleasurable. Both are pleasing to
me. When I look down from the sky to acknowledge my surroundings, there are bodies laid out around me, thriving in pain. This, too, is pleasing to me.

The wind brushes across my temple and it all goes away, my mind clears, and I neither see nor feel anything but happiness. My arms tingle and my name sings out from nothing. The wind again blows past me.

Wake up, Tracey
.

Nathan. I love hearing his voice.

Tracey, wake up
.

My eyes flutter, and there he is, smiling at me. I love the way he wakes me up. I think I might make him my personal alarm clock. Waking up to a voice like that, every day, would be amazing.

Come on, let’s go
.

I nod as we rise from the couch and start walking towards the stairs.

“Hey, where are you two going?” Glen asks, turning away from the TV, still in Scott’s arms.

“Outside to sit by the water and watch the sun set.” Damn it! As soon as it leaves my lips I regret saying it.

“Aww, Scott let’s go. That sounds like the perfect ending to a crazy day. Can we come with you?” She is extremely giddy.

Why did I even say anything? I just ruined Nathan’s and my moment alone.

It’s okay, Tracey. I think the beach is big enough. We’ll find a spot farther away from them. Stop getting upset. I don’t like what it does to me
.

“Okay.” I answer both of them.

They get up and Scott cuts off the TV. He starts straightening up everything and Nathan I walk upstairs. He stops by the hall closet, grabbing some blankets, enough for us and them.

“So, are we going to take the truck to where we went last night or are we going to walk?” I ask as we wait near the door for them.

“We are going to walk. We’ll find somewhere to lay sixty yards from them.” He shakes his head. “I don’t even think that’s far enough.” He pauses, remembering something. “Can you hold these for a moment?” He hands me the blankets. “I’m going to get us some snacks.”

“Okay.” Scott and Glen meet me right after he disappears into the kitchen.

“Where’d Nathan go? I don’t see you two separated too often.”

“Don’t, Scott,” I say in a mocking tone, rolling my eyes. He knows where he went, and he knows what is going on. Hell, Glen would know too if he wasn’t being such an ass.

“What’s up with you, Tracey? You don’t have to talk to him that way,” Glen says, holding Scott’s arm.

My head tilts slightly to the side as I glare at her. Is she serious? “Glen, I—”

“Tracey, I got everything. Let’s head out.” Nathan comes around the corner, saving Glen’s ass.

Grabbing two blankets, he hands them to Scott as he gives him a look that says ‘you’re fucking up.’ Glen doesn’t notice
it, because she is too busy looking at me. That irritates the hell out of me.

We step out the door to the yard, and Glen and Scott start bickering again. It extends my irritation. Nathan’s hands are full, carrying the snacks, which leaves nothing for me to grab to assist in calming me down. He stops short of me putting the blankets down. “Come here, Tracey.” His voice is smooth and welcoming.

I walk over to him and he wraps me in his bear arms, and before a headache could kick in, everything goes away. “Thank you.”

“Of course.
Plus, we want to let them get a head-start anyway.” I turn, looking in their direction. The sun is huge as it heads toward the water. “It almost looks as good as you.”

“Yeah, almost.
Let me carry the snacks, while you carry the blankets.” He hands them to me and we start walking, now providing me his free hand. It helps me to feel better.

Scott and Glen go right, and we go left. I love Glen and we have been friends forever. But the arguing and bickering over petty things is just annoying. Then, knowing that she doesn’t know the truth about what is going on with Scott, makes it more annoying than just hearing them bicker.

I understand it’s up to the man, or
male
Sephlem as Nathan would say, to determine what his mate is able to handle—what information he could tell and what he couldn’t. But considering Scott has not told her
anything
, would that mean she can’t handle any of it? Or is it just his choice to keep it from her?

I don’t see what’s so bad about it all. I accept Nathan, no matter what he is, and knowing that Glen and Scott are bound, so should she.

Bound
? What does that even mean? And why didn’t Glen tell me they had done it? She tells me
everything
. I guess I can’t blame her, because I didn’t immediately tell her about Nathan. But we hadn’t even kissed yet. They did more than kiss. And how often do they do more than kiss?

I’m jealous—their relationship is worse than mine, but she is getting more benefits than I am. Nothing in this reads fair.

I look over at Nathan. We’re still walking. He’s looking around at the water, then back in front of him. I never know when he’s in my head, but he looks as if he’s occupied with his own thoughts for now.

Does Nathan not want to be bound to me? Scott seems to not even want it and he did it. Nathan
wants
to be with me, right? I can feel he loves me in his touch, and I love him. But he never wakes up with me. Every time I wake up, he’s gone. He always wakes up before me, then comes back to me after I’m up.

He wants me as bad as I want him—I can feel it—but he doesn’t
want
me.

Juggling my thoughts around in my head, I start feeling a little sick from my realization. It makes sense, based on the information he has told me about Scott. Maybe he thinks our relationship is moving too fast, and we aren’t ready for it? But what does it matter? This isn’t your average, everyday relationship. This is more than that. Or is it?

We’ve reached our spot on the beach. Nathan lays out everything on the sand, and we sit down on the blankets, with him behind me. His knees are propped up and his arms are at my sides. None of him is touching me, which tells me he is in my head. I ignore it for now, but we are definitely going to talk about it before the night ends.

We are far from the water. The sun is setting against the water and it is breathtaking. There’s a warm breeze and water splashing against the shore.

“Do you like it?” Nathan’s low voice appeals to my ears, sounding better than the first time I heard him.

I take a deep breath, not sure about my feelings—or his—at the moment. But I do like it. “Yeah, it’s nice, a little breathtaking. What makes the sun look so big?”

“Maybe because of its reflection off the water and it not being so high in the sky.
Also notice, when you look at it, it doesn’t hurt your eyes as much.”

He’s right. I lean back on his chest, enjoying the sounds of the water and him breathing, while the wind blows around us. Glen and Scott are far away. I can only make out their figures, and that is okay with me.

I wrap Nathan’s arms around me. Even though I’m feeling something guarded about him, I can’t not touch him. He scoots closer to me, so my back is against his chest, and kisses my cheek. All my confusion fades and my thoughts fill happily with him. He speaks to me in that language that I’m unfamiliar with. I smile at it, and we sit here, the sun almost gone.

A moment of perfectio
n

“Nathan.” A deep, striking voice calls out to him. We both look in the direction of the voice, and about three yards away, three tall guys are approaching us.

They are all of equal height, with short hair. Slimly built, the one leading them has dirty-blond hair and the others’ look to be brown and black. They seem to be determined and strictly business.

Nathan tenses.
Don’t move, Tracey. Sit right here. If someone comes near you, don’t let me know by speaking out loud
. He turns his head to look at me.
Okay
?

I open my mouth, preparing to speak.
Do not speak out loud. Just nod if you understand
.

I’m nervous, fear trickles through me, but I nod at his request. The three guys are moving closer. Nathan stands up smoothly.
Don’t move from this spot
. He walks towards them without looking back at me.

I watch him walk away. He moves at a regular pace, not rushing, but not walking slowly. They meet, Nathan stopping them about halfway to where I sit. The wind carries their voices, making it easy for me to hear what they are saying.

I try not to stare when the three guys look around Nathan at me. It sounds like one of them asks who I am. He replies with ‘not your concern.’ He makes them stop looking, saying something I can’t make out. The three guys slightly circle around him, and I hear one of them say something like ‘we didn’t agree to this long’ and ‘this isn’t right.’

Confusion flares in me as I try to figure out what they could be talking about. I look up to my right, seeing Scott walking towards me. He left Glen sitting where they were too. That worries me more. He walks past, not looking at me, with his shoulders square and his fists loosely balled.

I don’t know what to expect.

The palms of my hands start to warm and I can sense Nathan getting pissed. The wind stops and I can no longer hear anything from their conversation. Scott walks up to them, roughly nudging one of the guys
who’s crowding Nathan to the side. The guy he pushed doesn’t say anything or push him back. He just glares at Scott, sizing him up. Scott doesn’t look back at him, but focuses on the guy in the middle who is doing the majority of the talking.

I try to convince myself to calm down so that I can focus. But my hands are burning out-of-control and it’s the only thing I can think about. I move the blankets around me so that I can bury my hands in the cool sand. It works. I try to calm myself and look back over to the guys. The wind picks up, making the conversation clearer.

“No, Nathan. I don’t see a better time than now.” The guy in the middle speaks slow, pronouncing every word precisely. He looks over at Scott. “And, Scott, how you have advanced. Look at you. Are you bound now? Where is she?” He searches along the beach for another person apart from me. His voice is smooth and baseless.

“Are you anticipating death
Ealander?” Scott asks him calmly.

Ealander
looks at him amused. “Oh, calm down, Scott. We aren’t here to cause you any inconveniences.” He looks back at Nathan. “We just have some—” he pauses. “—affairs we need to discuss.”

“I don’t think this is an appropriate time to discuss
affairs
, considering the circumstances, Ealander .” Scott tenses up; his back flexes.

“I don’t see a better time other than now,” the dirty-blond says, never taking his eyes off Nathan. “Nathan, I believe there are some things we need to discuss—some debts we need resolved.”

“I have no debt to you, Ealander.” Nathan looks at Ealander. “And, as Scott stated, whatever it is that you want to discuss can wait. Now is not the time.” He is calm.

Ealander
tilts his head so that he is looking around Nathan to me. Nathan moves in front of him. “Is there a problem?” he asks.

“A little protective aren’t we, Nathan? Why—she isn’t yours?” He looks at Scott, then back at Nathan. “Or is she?”
Ealander sounds intrigued by the thoughts that cross his mind. “Nathan, have you found someone—after all this time?”

Nathan moves a little closer to him. “Why is it your concern?”

“Oh,
everything
about you is my concern.” He places his hand on Nathan’s shoulder and Nathan shakes it off. “You. Scott. Olar. And Taylor.” For each name he pointed, and when he said Nathan’s sister’s name, he folded his hands in front of himself.

“Do not speak my sister’s name.” His voice, deep and threatening “And
we
have nothing to do with
you
. You watch out for your own kind, and maybe, if you were doing a better job of that, there would truly be
nothing
for us to discuss.”