Authors: Mari Beck
“It will cost Jon his career and it’ll ruin my family’s life.”
“Well then, convince Riley Favreau that he owes the country an explanation. I’ll be fair. As fair as I can. It’ll be a damn sight more than what Sandra Simmons will give him.”
“How do you propose I do that?”
Meagan McGuinnis got into her car and shut the door. Rolling down the window, she flashed Brenda another brilliant smile.
“Tell him the truth.” She said pumping up the volume of her radio. “When you’re ready to talk give me a call. You have my number,
Renae.
” And with that she sped away down the gravel drive and back out onto the highway leading to the interstate.
Riley ran as fast as he could. He cut across fields, pastures and crawled over long forgotten fences that dotted old property lines still surrounding the crumbling ruins of old homesteads and barns.
He ran and he didn’t stop until he saw the old trees marking the entrance to the watering hole he and Brandon used to frequent as boys.
The water was low, muddy but still there.
He swatted through the overgrowth counting on the comforting solitude of an old stump that he hoped was still there after all of this time.
He closed his eyes and sighed as he made his way through the last of the brush only to freeze when he opened them again. He was seeing a ghost.
He was sure of it.
But at the sound of the muffled crying he knew it wasn’t.
At the sound of his sudden and noisy approach she turned around and looked up. Tear-stained eyes met his own sad gaze and seared right through him.
“Riley!”
He swallowed hard, unsure as to what to do next.
He almost wished it were one of his hallucinations.
But there she was, sitting on the old stump as if she had been waiting for him all along. He sighed in defeat.
He couldn’t win it seemed.
Not today.
Misty ran to him and flung her arms around his neck burying her head in his chest and began to cry again.
“I hoped it was you.
I hoped it with all of my heart.
And it was. It was.”
“Misty. . .” he began.
“No. . . Riley, please don’t say anything. Don’t say a word. Please. Just hold me.” Her embrace tightened around his neck.
For a moment he felt so confused and conflicted, especially as he felt the hard swell of her belly as she pressed into him. But after a moment, after the surge of familiarity, and comfort that began to wash over him, he couldn’t help giving into it.
He let his arms fall naturally around her and for a moment it felt as if the war, the betrayal, Renae, could just all wash away and it could be like it was before he left.
Before he lost it all.
They held each other for a while and he didn’t dare make a sound or say anything that would suddenly bring the real world back in. Then she broke the silence.
“What happened to us , Riley?
It’s like a dream I can’t wake up from, this life we’re both living now.
What happened?”
For a moment the anger surged up in him again at the thought of what he really wanted to say.
What happened is that you slept with my best friend.
But he couldn’t, wouldn’t bring himself to say those words because he knew that part of the blame was his. Instead, he pulled back, reluctantly, and looked at her.
She looked awful.
Her face was streaked with tears, her eyes were red and puffy and there were shadows underneath her eyes.
“How are you, Misty?” he asked unable to keep the concern out of his voice.
He cursed himself inwardly for it.
“I don’t know.” She answered.
“Why are you out here alone?
Where. . .? He hesitated for a moment, “Where's Brandon?”
“I don’t know.
We had a fight.” She turned away and walked back to the old stump.
The pain Riley felt at the thought of Brandon and Misty together even after all this time was almost too much to bear so he didn’t even attempt to ask for any of the details.
He didn’t want to know.
“Did you walk out here by yourself ?”
“No.
I took his truck. It’s parked up on Miller Road.”
“That’s a long ways to be walking around in your . . . condition.” He said.
There was a long pause and she didn’t say anything in response.
“Let me walk you back to the truck.
It’ll be dark soon.”
Another long pause.
“She’s pretty.” Misty said in a whisper.
“What?”
“The waitress. She’s pretty.
Nice too. That’s what everybody says.”
It took him a moment to realize that she was referring to Renae.
He didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to think about that either.
“Don’t push her away.”
“Misty. . .”
“No, Riley.
I know it sounds strange me trying to give you advice about some other girl.” She turned away from him and stared out the dark, muddy waters.
“We don’t need to talk about this, Misty.” He pleaded.
“I walked away, Riley.
I had my reasons.
I’m not saying they were good ones.
I’m not saying it was fair but it doesn’t really matter anymore, does it?
Everything’s different now.
We’re
different now.
I could say I was sorry but that wouldn’t really make it right would it?” He didn’t say anything.
“Don’t make the same mistake. Don’t walk away. She seems like she cares about you a lot. You can tell she’s someone who would be in it for the long haul.
And. . .I want to see you find. . .well I guess happiness, but what I really mean is peace.
Whatever it is that’s eating you from the inside out. . .maybe she’s the answer.
It hurts to say it.
More than you can imagine.
But maybe it’s true.”
“Misty, let’s not do this.
Okay?
I’m not going to talk about any of it. Not after what’s happened. You know me better than that.”
“Do I, Riley?
Did I know you at all?
I wonder sometimes if the war just put off what needed doing long before it all fell apart.”The pain he was feeling left him at a loss for words.
“Anyway, I’m sorry about one thing that I can’t forgive myself for no matter how hard I try.
Do you know what that is?” she asked turning back to face him. Riley didn’t answer her but looked down at the muddy ground instead.
“What I did . . . what Brandon and I did . . . it ruined the friendship you two had. The fight we had was about that, Riley.
I wanted him to. . .talk to you again. . .to try to make things right, somehow.
Silly I know.
How could we ever make things right again?
So, I told him I would do it.
I’d come to you and try to make peace between the two of you.
He told me it was impossible and that I was stupid for thinking it was possible.
He refused to do it and he told me I couldn’t either.
Well, you know how I get when someone tries to tell me what to do, right? I told him where to go.
He went.
So, I came out here.
I don’t know why.
I guess I remembered it was a place where the three of us had better days together.
I just needed to feel it, remember it again.
Then you showed up.
It was an answered prayer.
Divine intervention, as Dad calls it.”
Riley could hardly believe what he was hearing.
The wound in his heart felt like it was ripping open all over again.
There was no way back.
He and Brandon might as well be standing on opposite sides of the Grand Canyon.
Riley knew in his heart that the moment Brandon claimed Misty as his own that he knew there was no turning back.
Brandon knew he was burning the bridge and he still went ahead and did it anyway.
There was no forgiving that.
“It’s hurting him, Riley.
I know it has to be hurting you too.
You don’t have to forgive what I did.
I’m okay with that.
I’m the one who walked away.”
Riley refused to listen to anymore.
“Let me walk you back to the truck.
You can’t be out here.
You’re going to worry somebody.”
“Riley.
Please.
Just talk to him.
Hear him out.”
“On second thought, it’s getting dark and it looks like a storm’s coming. Let me walk you back to the farmhouse.” He said and offered her a hand. He had no idea if she knew he couldn’t drive but he wasn’t about to say more about what he could and couldn’t do anymore. She stared at him, tears glistening in her eyes.
He helped her up as the clouds rolled in.
As they quickened their pace across the pasture, she couldn’t help asking one more question.
“ I almost forgot, Riley.
I told you why I was out there.
Why were you out there?”
“Just walking.” He answered.
“Just walking.” She repeated.
“Maybe I do know you better than I thought.”
He didn’t say anything.
“If I remember right, walking is what you do when you don’t know what to do.”
Riley didn’t respond.
“Don’t walk away too fast, Riley.
She might not be there when you get back.”
Her words hit home and he struggled to keep himself together as they walked back to the truck under the blackness of a starless sky. He wanted to take her home.
But since he couldn’t drive and he wasn’t exactly sure where that was these days, it wasn’t an option. Where would she go even if he could?
Pastor’s house or the Cole farm?
He took her back to his house figuring he would work it out when they got there. Maybe she could call her father or maybe someone in town would be willing to take her back so he wouldn’t have to deal with Brandon
They walked back to the house in silence. When they got to the driveway he could see that the reporter was gone and Renae was gone too.
The rain was falling now and he knew that they would probably have to wait it out.
He gave Misty his hand and she maneuvered herself up the porch stairs. In that moment time stood still.
He looked into her face as the rain drops began to fall around them.
Misty was standing on the porch of the old house the way he had imagined she would when he dreamed of their future together.
She hadn’t realized yet that he was staring at her until she turned to figure out why he wasn’t following her into the house.
A few stray hairs clung to the side of her face where the rain had splashed as they made their way across the lawn.
He stood there getting wet and stared at her. She turned slightly in his direction and his eyes fell to the curve of her belly, round and definitely full of life. When she turned around she had smiled at him. It was like nothing had changed.
Like it was supposed to be if the war and everything that followed hadn’t happened. Suddenly, he couldn’t breathe and he felt the old pain return deep and agonizing.
“What?” She asked.
He couldn’t answer.
Misty stepped down and looked into his face.
The smile faded.
“What’s wrong, Riley?”
He could barely make the words come. But he knew that they had to come.
“I’m sorry.” He said.
Her eyes widened in surprise.
“I’m sorry. For . . . everything.” He said and Misty stayed exactly where she was under the cover of the porch.
The rain was falling harder now and he was drenched.
But, he made no effort to climb the steps or go in the house.
She didn’t say anything but just stared at him. Then suddenly she leaned toward him, cupped his face in her hands and kissed him.
For a split-second he believed that nothing had changed, that everything was just as he left it before he deployed.
Then it was over.
The kiss, the memory, the pain.
It was gone and so were the Riley and Misty that had fallen in love and made all those promises that were inevitably broken.
In their place stood a weary war veteran and the very pregnant wife of his former best friend.
The ghost of the old passion and desire that had sparked the kiss left a sense of awkwardness in its wake.
Too much had happened. Two different people , two strangers stood there now and there was no going back. . .ever.
“I want you to be happy.” She said.
He looked down at the puddles forming at his feet.
She reached out a hand and touched his face. Suddenly, he felt her pull away and heard her swear under her breath. He looked up and saw that she wasn’t looking at him but at someone else.