Authors: Mari Beck
“He’ll come around. You’ll see.” Her mother would say but each week that she was away from them made Brenda think that Callan was only pulling farther and farther away. While her mother knew where she was Brenda had left out the part about finding Riley or the fact that he was living with her at the farmhouse feeling that in the light of what Callan saw and what her mother knew about the situation that it would complicate things even more. But she couldn’t help sharing some of her frustration with her mother.
“Maybe I should come home.” She told her mother during the last video chat.
“Are you
ready
to come home?”Marlene Sheffield had asked.
“Does it matter?”
“Yes, honey. It does. You have to be
here
100%. Until you can do that you can’t help them. Not to mention that horrible reporter keeps calling.” Brenda panicked. Of course Meagan McGuinnis was still on the hunt to find whatever she could to carry out her threats.
“Has she come to the house?”
“Not yet. I thought I saw her a few times when I went to pick up the boys from school.”
“No!”
“Don’t worry, honey. Remember if things get bad I’ll take the boys back home with me.”
“But what about you and your real estate business?”
“Roger is covering for me and I’ve wanted to spend real time with my grandsons for a long time.”
“This isn’t what you had in mind is it, Mom?”
“No, Brenda.” Her mother had admitted sadly. “But I’m sure I’m where I need to be right now.”
“Mommy are you coming home?” Taylor’s little face had filled the entire computer screen all of a sudden. Brenda saw a large eyeball peering back at her and she had to laugh.
“Soon, baby.” Brenda said touching the screen. The eyeball leaned back and made way for a large toothy smile.
“Yay!” He said and scurried away where Brenda could no longer see him.
“He misses you.”
“I miss all of you.” She couldn’t help the tears that flowed again.
“How much work is left before you can sell the house?” Her mother asked and Brenda felt guilty for telling her only the bits and pieces that had nothing to do with Riley.
“I don’t know. I’ve never flipped a house before let alone a run down farmhouse.” She said and her mother was quiet for a moment
“You hired somebody to do the work, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. The last thing you need is to bother with wallpaper and old carpet yourself.”
“No. I’m just supervising.” She lied.
“I hope it turns out okay and that you’ll be able to put it on the market soon. It’s a shame it was in such bad condition. It’ll be nice to have that extra money for the boys college fund when you sell it. It’s what Shane would have wanted I’m sure.” Her mother said and Brenda tried not to think about what she knew Shane had
really
wanted. He had dreamt of retiring and moving back to Nebraska to the little town where he’d spent the summers with his Grandparents and where he wanted his own sons to be raised. Under a black velvet blanket of stars and out among the tall prairie grasses covering hillsides dotted with black and red Angus cattle in a place where alfalfa, corn and soybeans were grown on either side of the railroad tracks. It was the promise she’d made him the day they buried him. A promise that was lost the moment she saw the house in disrepair. Only to be completely forgotten the moment she saw Riley Favreau sitting in the café and remembered again when she offered him a place to stay with the intent of getting the answers she wanted. But how could she explain it all to her mother when she could barely wrap her head around it herself? She needed to stay long enough to ask him
one question:
What really happened on that road?
Riley didn’t like going into Bess much so if neither one of them was in the mood to cook they’d order something from the café and Renae would run into town to pick it up on the weekends or take it home when she worked waitressing at the café for Doreen a few days a week. He was sure that Doreen was curious and from what Renae shared with him as they worked side by side she always wanted to know how things were going and when Riley was finally going to show his face in town. It was obvious she was worried and she wanted him to know it. But the truth was that Riley had no desire what so ever to go into town or leave the farmhouse. It had in a sense become home to him even in it’s poor state and he preferred to keep working even when Renae was gone. This weekend, however, as they were working on replacing the posts behind the barn Renae casually suggested they go eat at the café.
“So they finally got to you, huh?” He said as he set the post. Renae grimaced. He could tell that she was bothered by his comment.
“No. Not really.”
“Doreen ask you to talk to me?”
“Okay, yes. But it’s only because she misses you.”
“That didn’t take long.” He teased.
“What?”
“She has you wrapped around her finger, all right,and it only took a few weeks.”
“Well, that and the promise of a raise.” She said seriously and it was his turn to feel bothered.
“Really?”
“No! Of course not!” She slapped him playfully on the shoulder. They both laughed.
“I suppose that’s a relief.” He said turning back to the post. “What did you promise her?”
“That I’d talk to you.”
“And?” He raised a suspicious eyebrow and she finally gave in.
“Fine! I told her we might stop by today for lunch.”
“What if I’m not hungry?” He was only half serious but it was mostly true. Just thinking about going into town and sitting in the café made him lose any appetite he might have had.
“Riley, come on. Nobody has seen you in weeks, they’re starting to suspect I’m up to good out here.”
“Why don’t you tell Doreen to stop by? I don’t mind.”
“I think you’re missing the point.” She said and he knew she was right. But he couldn’t help feeling that this conversation had shades of the one he’d had with Louis about the very same thing. Riley had become too isolated and he needed to connect with the people in town, the people he’d known almost all of his life, grown up with and who’d stood for hours on a hot tarmac waiting to welcome him home a hero. They cared about him, isn’t that what Renae was saying? That’s what Louis had been trying to say but somehow, going back into town now that he’d found a place to hide, made him nervous.
“Riley?” Renae called out and he realized that he’d been gripping the post with all of his might to the point that his nails felt like they almost rubbed through his work gloves and gouged into the wood.
“What?” He said paying attention again.
“Lunch? At the café?”
“Okay. Let me wash up and I’ll be ready.” He said and pulled the post back out of the hole letting it fall onto the ground with a thud. Soon enough they were in the car and headed into town. Riley was quiet most of the way in and Renae didn’t push any conversation on him. He was grateful for that especially since he dreaded what was waiting in town. A room full of people, most of whom he hadn’t seen since before his grandfather’s funeral, ready to stare at him and maybe even pass judgement. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to stand it but he knew if he didn’t that Doreen would come out to the farmhouse and that she would manage to drag him into town one way or another. She was a very patient woman when it came to what she thought as being right and wrong and she definitely wasn’t one to keep quiet when she felt she had something to say. So the fact she had kept quiet this long or that Renae had been able to withstand the constant nagging he imagined she got from Doreen was in itself quite the miracle. He might as well get it over with, at least that’s what he thought until they walked in the door to the café about 30 minutes later. That’s when Riley’s heart plummeted into his stomach. How could he be so stupid? He didn’t even think of it as a possibility and yet, there it was. There
they
were. His former fiancée Misty Langston was sitting at the counter chatting with Doreen and nestled in the arms of none other than Riley’s former best friend Brandon Cole.
***
The café was full of people. Brenda was sure that this was exactly what Riley had hoped to avoid and now, he was standing face to face with the very people he never wanted to see again. She felt guilty for pushing him into coming. Conversation came to an absolute stop. She was sure that Riley was aware that people were staring.
He looked as if all he wanted to do was turn around and go back to the farmhouse. She looked for some signal from him but for the moment they didn’t move. It was Doreen who finally broke the awkward silence with her big booming voice and laugh.
“Well, it’s about time, Riley Favreau! I was starting to wonder if you were still alive out there on that old, stinky farm! No offense, honey. I’m sure it’ll be beautiful when you’re all done with it.” She said turning to Brenda who exchanged glances with Riley. She smiled. He continued to stare at the couple at the counter. “Look at you, just look at you, all skin and bones again. Haven’t you been eating the food I’ve been sending out with Renae? I’ve sent enough to feed an army, honey. An army!” Doreen pushed Riley toward one of the booths toward the very back of the café, motioning for Brenda to follow along. Thank God that at least it would be some place where he wouldn’t have his back to the door. The longer she’d been around Riley she had noticed that if they ever ate out he always picked tables or booths where he could have his back against a wall and he could see who was coming and going.The first few times that she tried to suggest a different seating arrangement or a waiter/waitress tried to sit them so his back would be to the door he became agitated and irritable.
She reminded herself of what Louis had told her and went down the mental checklist of items he suggested she look for. Brenda decided that if this was the worst of that list she would be be happy to go along with it.
“I’m so glad you came out!” Doreen said clapping her hands together. It was obvious that she was delighted. Riley looked much less delighted. Brenda could tell that everyone in some way or another was still staring. Riley’s face, which had at first held that same look of familiar agitation had gone from irritation, to pain and now was back to its normal neutral form. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking or feeling.
“I’m bringing you out the special cause that’s what I’ve got today. So I hope you like still like tuna, honey.” She said giving Riley a quick hug. He managed a weak smile. Brenda could tell he was trying not to look over at the counter.
“It sounds delicious, Doreen.” Brenda said and watched as the sassy redhead headed for the kitchen. In the meantime, Brenda leaned in so she could talk to Riley without being overheard.
“I’m so sorry.” She whispered. “ I never even thought about the fact that they could be here. I have seen them
once
since I started working for Doreen. I mean, I’ve
seen
them, but not in the café.”
“It’s okay.” He said letting his eyes go back to the counter and then back to their table.
“Is it?” she asked and he refused to look at her directly. Instead, he started to look through the little piles of jams and jellies located in the tiny black holder that Doreen had on each table for the breakfast crowd. He was organizing them by flavor.
“We can go.” Brenda offered but he shook his head
no
. They ate in silence once Doreen brought out their plates and made some generic small talk when she tried to strike up conversations about what they were doing out at the farmhouse. But it was clear that everyone was still watching Riley’s ex-fiancée and former best friend at the counter. Brenda had only heard bits and pieces from conversations she’d overheard at the café about what had happened when Riley came home. She didn’t know all of the details but from what she did know made her heart break for him. He’d lost his girl to his best friend and now if the gossip was to be believed the girl was pregnant and not by Riley. She watched him as he ate and tried to picture him as the hard-working, easy-going, hell-raising, happy-go-lucky guy that was loved by everyone in town before he ended up on that road outside of Baghdad.
Brenda could tell that the people in the café were unsure about approaching him, not because they feared him, but because they didn’t know him anymore. He had put up enough walls to keep them all out and it was uncomfortable to watch him build the wall higher and higher with each bite he was taking.
Brenda glanced over at the counter where the fiancée and best friend were sitting, whispering to each other and picking at their plates while taking quick looks over at Riley. The girl couldn’t take her eyes off Riley and the one second that she and Brenda locked eyes accidentally she was sure that what she saw there wasn’t the pain of lost love as much as it was pity and something else she couldn’t quite place. Brenda felt a knot in her stomach. She knew how much Riley would hate knowing that the girl and maybe everyone else in that place pitied him. Before she knew it she had reached out and taken his hand. It startled him and at first when he looked up he frowned but when she smiled at him and squeezed his hand again, he seemed to understand and his face softened. They held hands that way for a while and from the increase of whispers around her she was sure that they had set tongues wagging again. She didn’t care. Riley didn’t deserve their pity. Nevertheless, she had to check her own emotions because she didn’t want to be a hypocrite. Did she pity him too? Is that why she had reached out to take
his hand? No, she decided. She had taken his hand to show her support. She knew what it was like to live in a fish bowl with strangers, family and friends all staring, all wondering what to say and what to do and in the end unable or unwilling to do or say anything that could ever make the pain go away. She wanted him to know that she cared and that she understood.
When it was time to pay the check an elderly man, whom Riley seemed to know, came over to the table. There were tears in his eyes. He laid a gnarled hand on Riley’s shoulder.