Authors: Brenda Kennedy
“
God, Baby, please just
always listen to your heart. I will never lie to you. Please tell
me you know that.”
“
I do, and I am so
sorry.”
“
I also met with Mason’s
sister today. Madison is a Realtor, and she is going to sell the
house. I also went to see Molly’s parents today. I told them
whatever was left in the house Molly can have. They said they
haven’t seen her, but they are going over tomorrow with a U-Haul to
clear the house out.”
“
Alec, there isn’t anything
in there you want?”
“
I have everything I want:
my daughter.”
I change for bed, putting on a pair of black
yoga pants and a white tank top. I help Alec put the sheets and
blankets on the couch for him to sleep on. Once it is made up, I
lie down with him. He scoots back as far as he can and I snuggle up
with him. “Emma, promise me, if Molly tries to talk to you, you’ll
walk away. Baby, she is nothing but trouble and I don’t want you
anywhere near her.”
“
I will, so don’t worry
about me. I can take care of myself.”
Alec
I take the kids to school before heading to
work. Emma and I decided tonight we’ll take the kids out for dinner
and shop for a bedroom suite for her spare room. She slept all
night on the couch with me, and I know she also woke up with a
cramped neck. Around 1:00 pm we get a call they are bringing in a
female who overdosed on heroin. She has coded once during transport
and her vitals are dangerously low. I say a silent prayer that it
isn’t Molly, although I expect it will be. When they bring her in,
I am relieved to see it isn’t Molly, but my heart breaks for the
deceased woman’s family. She coded again during transport and was
pronounced dead shortly after arriving at the hospital. After she
coded, even C.P.R. wasn’t enough to save her.
I walk into the waiting area and several
family members are huddled together, crying. I clear my throat and
they walk towards me with tear-stained cheeks. The petite,
dark-haired woman is holding onto a man. Two other girls and a boy,
all in their late teens, are standing nearby.
“
Are you the family of
Elizabeth Edwards?”
“
I’m her father, this is her
mother, and these are Lizzy’s brother and two sisters. How is
Lizzy? Can we see her?”
“
I’m sorry to have to tell
you…”
“
No, God, please, no. Not my
little girl.” The woman cries.
I try to swallow the lump in my throat before
speaking again. I hate this part of my job. There is nothing worse
than to have to tell someone that their loved one didn’t make
it.
“
I’m sorry. We did
everything we could for her.”
The man tries to comfort his wife and
children as he attempts to hold himself together. “Can we see her?”
he asks in a cracked voice.
“
Of course. Just give us a
few minutes and I’ll send someone out to get you.”
“
Thank you.” Tears slide
down his cheek as he turns to sit with his family.
I walk back into the room and tell the nurses
that as soon as they are done, the family would like to see her. I
look at the deceased patient and see that she has needle tracks
running up and down the length of both of her arms. “Please, if you
can, make sure her arms are covered up. They don’t need to see
those.”
A nurse looks at me and follows my eyes to
the patient’s arms. “Ok, Doctor, we’ll take care of it.”
Florida has a terrible drug problem with
illegal and prescription drugs. Because Florida is so close to
international waters, Florida highways and the Interstate Highway
System prove to be a great source to transport drugs from other
countries into the United States.
I do some charting and watch as the family
walks into the exam room. I hear loud crying, and I give them some
time alone. When the crying calms, I walk into the room and offer
them water, coffee, and soda. The mother walks over to me, hugs me,
and thanks me for everything I did for her Lizzy. They watch as
Elizabeth’s dad holds her hand and the children sob as they mourn
the death of their older sister. They begin to share stories of
Elizabeth in happier times. I learn that she was a cheerleader in
high school and an A/B honor student. The kids tell stories about
how their older sister would watch them and play games and read
stories to them.
A teenage girl who was Elizabeth’s sister
says, “I remember when Elizabeth invented Monster Spray. When we
were young, we were afraid of monsters in the dark, so Elizabeth
sprayed Monster Spray in the bedroom to keep the monsters away from
us. When we were older, we learned that Monster Spray is plain
water in a Windex spray bottle. Elizabeth made a Monster Spray
label to cover up the Windex label.”
I think: Apparently, almost anyone can start
taking illegal drugs. As comedian Bill Hicks has said, all it takes
is the wrong boyfriend or girlfriend, the wrong friends, and/or the
wrong bar.
The nurse wheels in a cart with fresh fruit,
snacks, juice, and coffee on it. I stand with the nurse and tell
them to take all the time they need. I also tell them that if they
need anything, ask. I nod and make eye contact with everyone before
leaving.
I give a very somber report to the oncoming
shift before I shower and change before going home. I call Emma on
my way home and tell her about my day. Some days you just need to
debrief and some days you don’t.
I pull up at Emma’s; she is waiting for me on
the front porch. She is wearing a yellow sundress and black heels.
She smiles when she sees me — it is just what I needed. James and
Raelynn come running off the porch with their arms open for me. I
kneel down and hug them both as tight as I can without hurting
them. I stand and carry them both up the stairs and kiss Emma. Rae
and James giggle, kick, and start screaming something about
cooties. I lower them to the ground and they take off running in
the house.
“
Did you bring cooties home
again, Doctor?” She smiles.
“
I guess I
did.”
“
I’m sorry about your
day.”
“
Thank you. I’m just glad to
be home.”
“
You look beat. Do you want
me to cook and we can shop for a bed some other
time?”
“
No, I’m fine with shopping.
I don’t think my neck can take another week on that couch of
yours,” I say, moving my head side to side.
“
Would a massage help?” She
smiles.
“
Is that an
offer?”
“
Maybe.”
“
Now that I think of it,
maybe I can keep sleeping on your couch.” I laugh.
The kids, Emma, and I go to dinner at Yoder’s
Restaurant in the Amish Village in Sarasota. It’s small and quaint
with delicious food. We all have the baked chicken, mashed
potatoes, noodles, and their homemade bread with apple butter.
Mason’s mom and dad walks in and I introduce them to Emma and
James; they already know Raelynn. Mason and I share the same social
circle.
When the food comes out, I am quickly
reminded about the large portions that make up their meals. No one
was able to finish our meals, so we got the rest to take home with
us. Sometimes I think that one serving of Yoder’s sweet-potato
fries weighs three pounds.
Once I settle up the check, we go to Bears
Furniture, which is also in Sarasota. Emma and I decide on a
masculine mahogany queen-size bed, dresser, chest of drawers, and
two night stands.
She stands at the register with her credit
card in hand. “Emma, what are you doing?”
“
Alec, I’m paying for the
bedroom suite. It’s my house, and I have needed it for a long
time.”
“
Emma, put your credit card
away.”
Emma looks at the salesclerk and hands him
her credit card. I clear my throat and shake my head at the
salesman. He hands Emma back her card, then takes mine.
“
Alec?”
“
Emma?” I
smile.
I sign the receipt and put a
rush on the delivery. Next we go and pick out bedding and curtains
for the bedroom. Emma and Raelynn decide on pink and lavender
circles
while James decides on ninjas and I
pretend to agree with him. Actually, I like a black sheet
set.
We leave the store empty handed since
we can’t decide on one set we all like.
At home, we help the kids with their
homework, baths, and bedtime prayers. Emma and I talk about my day
at work and the death of the young girl who overdosed. I admit to
her I was afraid it was Molly they were bringing in when we got the
call. I explain to Emma that Raelynn and I never talk about Molly.
I try hard to avoid all conversations about Molly when Rae is
around. Rae knows her mother was “sick” and that is all she knows.
I explain to Emma that I don’t love Molly, but I don’t want her
dead either.
“
Do you remember that I told
you I saw Molly buying drugs across the street yesterday?” She
holds my hand.
“
Yes, I remember. Was she
there again today?”
“
No, Brea called the police
department and asked if they could start patrolling the area more
often, and they did.”
“
That’s good. I didn’t
realize that was a traffic area for drugs,” I say sadly.
“
If I didn’t see Molly, I
never would have known what was going on. It’s sad to think that
drug abuse happens so close to home,” she says.
“
I see it pretty often at
work but you… you are so innocent. You have probably never been
around it, or seen it.” I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear
and caress her cheek.
“
I don’t think I’m that
innocent, but I have never been exposed to drugs before. I was very
blessed. I met Max in high school, and he was such a good person. I
really hung out only with him.”
“
See, you are
very innocent.” I smile and she leans into
me.
Chapter Three: Facing the Truth
Emma
Raelynn and I go to Max’s mom and dad’s house
and start to set up for James’ birthday party while Alec takes
James out to pick up his cake and some balloons for the party. I
called and asked Alec’s mom and dad to come to the party early
because I want them to meet Cheryl and Danny before everyone
arrives. It is very important that John and Doris understand my
relationship with Danny and Cheryl. I love them, and they will
always be my family — no matter what.
John and Doris pull up, and Raelynn runs to
the car to meet them. Danny and Cheryl remain on the front porch
while I walk to the car to greet them. I hug them both and Rae
takes John’s hand and walks him to the porch. I introduce everyone
and watch as they make pleasantries. John tells them he and Doris
are very sorry to hear of their son’s passing.
“
Thank you, we appreciate
that. He was a wonderful son, husband, and father,” Cheryl says
sadly.
“
I assume the gold star
banner in your flower bed is for Max,” John says.
“
You must be a military man,
for you to know that.” Danny smiles.
“
I served four years in the
Air Force,” John says proudly.
Cheryl asks, “Doris, would you like to see
the flower garden? It’s a tribute to our son, Max.”
“
Yes, I would love to. Thank
you.”
“
I have a feeling they are
going to start talking about the military,” Cheryl laughs as she
walks off the porch with Doris behind her.
John and Danny get a beer and sit outside in
the shade while Raelynn and I fill the rest of the party favor
bags. I am happy to see that Danny and Cheryl have accepted Alec’s
parents. I love Alec, and I will always love Danny and Cheryl. They
have shared the worst time of my life, and I will always be a part
of their family. Even if Max is gone and I remarry, they will
always be my family.
The party is an exercise in
controlled chaos. Alec’s sister and both of his brothers came with
their families. Brea, Sara, and Angel also came, along with some
kids from James’ school and taekwondo. Brooke, Brice, and the boys
are also here.
Good thing we had it here.
My house is too small for all these people.
Some of the kids are in the jump house, and some are still
eating pizza. I am surprised to see how well everyone is mingling
and fitting in. At one time, Cheryl threw lots of parties and she
even had a party-planning business. But after Max’s death, sadness
consumed her. She stopped working and stopped hosting parties.
Today she is laughing and smiling. People are complimenting her on
her home and artistic talents. I can see the old Cheryl begin to
come back to life.
I sit back and smile.
“
This is some party,” Alec
says, kissing the shell of my ear.
“
It sure is. Did you happen
to notice how well everyone is getting along?”
“
I did. It looks like my
dad, your dad, and Max’s dad are getting along very
well.”
I laugh, “That is a lot of dads.”
“
I’m sorry, Emma, but
someone is at the door for you,” Cheryl says, passing by to fill
the punchbowl up with more juice.
“
It must be someone’s
mother. I’ll be just a minute.”
“
Ok, I’ll monitor the jump
house. Is there a weight limit or a capacity limit on
that?”
“
I’m sure there is, but the
kids shouldn’t exceed that,” I say, walking away.