Authors: Brenda Kennedy
Digging vigorously at my arms, I say, “No,
Bobby, you never have.”
As soon as I get what I need, I sit back on
the bed and wait for it. When I start to feel warm and happy, I
know it is working. This is what I have been wanting. I smile for
no reason and look at Bobby and think of how much I love him.
Bobby leans closer to me and asks, “Feeling
better?”
I smile and kiss him because I am so in love
with him.
“
Oh, yeah, Doll, that’s what
I’m talking about.” He climbs on top of me and I can’t remember
what happens next.
A few days later, I drive
around and see a sign at a local church advertising that an Addicts
Anonymous class will be held on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 6:00 p.m.
I pull in the parking lot and look at all the cars. It’s
6:45
and the class will
soon be over
,
but I
decide to go in anyway.
The basement door is open; I can hear
talking. I quietly walk inside and take the only seat in the back
of the room. I look up at the podium and see a man my age standing
there with his hands in his pocket. He has spikey blond hair and
beautiful white teeth.
“
Please give Chris a round
of applause.”
“
Thank you for sharing your
story with us, Chris. It’s not easy coming up here to tell your
story to a room full of strangers. But remember, the people
in
this
room — us
—
do not
judge
others. Hi, everyone, my name is Adam McDaniel and I am a
recovering drug addict. I stand here tonight and I can proudly say
that I am one year, two months, and three days
clean.”
The room applauds and he smiles.
“
Thank you, it wasn’t easy
and I still have a long way to go. My biggest battle now is trying
to earn the trust of my family. Once you lose the trust of your
loved ones, it takes a very long time to get it back.”
He stops talking and looks around the room,
before his eyes lock on mine. He smiles at me and I quickly look
away.
“
At one time, I thought the
detox was the worst part that I was going to have to go through.
Don’t get me wrong, that was no picnic. I detoxed once and that was
enough.”
The room laughs and he smiles.
“
I see you know exactly what
I am talking about. Detox is no joke. You can’t be a sissy and
detox — only the strongest ones can do it.”
Everyone claps and he smiles again. I look
around the room and everyone is nodding in agreement.
“
But seriously, it’s the
lack of trust that I struggle with now. The cravings are gone, and
I am thankful for that.
I remember seeing
the pain in my parents’ eyes and it is almost unbearable. Every
time I leave the house, I can see the fear in their eyes. The fear
that I put in there. Even after a year of sobriety, they still
worry I’ll fall back into the nasty habit that stole two years of
my life.”
He stands away from the podium and steps
forward so he is closer to his audience.
“
Every day it gets better,
and every day it gets easier. Hang in there and remember, you are
not alone. That’s about all I have to say this evening. I’m going
to leave my business cards up here; please take one on your way out
and feel free to call me anytime. If you have a problem or if you
just want to talk, I’m only a phone call away.”
He looks around the room and his eyes lock on
mine again. “Thank you for coming, and I hope to see you all on
Thursday.”
I quickly leave and wait in my car for the
last car to pull out of the parking lot. When the last person
leaves, I walk back into the church to take one of his business
cards from the podium. When I turn around, Adam is standing there
watching me.
“
I’m sorry, I just wanted to
get one of your cards,” I say, trying to scoot past him.
“
Hi, I’m Adam,” he says,
holding his hand out for mine.
“
Hi, I’m Molly,” I say,
shaking his hand.
“
I noticed you sitting in
the back of the room. Is this your first meeting?” I look at him,
and he gives me the friendliest smile.
“
I was driving by and
noticed the sign. I’m sorry, but I need to go.” I walk past him and
walk quickly towards the back door.
“
I hope to see you on
Thursday, Molly.”
I don’t say anything. I just keep
walking.
Bobby
I remember the first time I saw Molly. I was
hiding in the shadows of an alley, and she was being propositioned
for sex. I knew just from looking at her that she wasn’t that kind
of girl — well, not yet anyway.
“
Come on, Baby, you know you
want to give it up,” someone said to her. “I can make you feel real
good.”
I watched as she was trying to ignore them.
They got out of the car and walked over to her. She put her head
down and continued to walk away.
One of them grabbed her by the arm and said,
“Come on, Baby, I can give you something you ain’t never had
before.”
She tried to pull away from him, but he
tightened his hold on her. I stepped out of the shadows and into
the muted street light, “What can you give her that she’s never had
before? AIDS?”
They looked at me and smiled. “Well, lookie,
lookie, the big guy has jokes.”
“
Let her go.” I slowly walk
over to them and repeat my words calmly, “I said, let her go.” I
look at the girl. She has her head down and her eyes
closed.
“
Keep walking, big guy. This
has nothing to do with you.”
When he refuses to release her, I hit the guy
farthest from the girl as hard as I can with my fist. He falls to
the ground holding his bloody nose.
“
My nose, you broke my
nose.”
I hold my hand out for the girl, palm side
up. “I said, ‘Let her go, now!’” I say more sternly.
He stares at me before he releases his hold
of her arm.
“
Come on, Doll,” I say. She
takes my hand and I stand in front of her.
“
You might want to take your
boyfriend to the hospital. I think he broke his nose,” I say,
nodding to the guy still lying on the ground and holding his hand
to his bloody face.
I turn and walk back into the shadows with
the dark-haired beauty. I can feel her shaking as she holds my
hand. Once they leave, I walk her back into the dimly lit alley.
“You’re too pretty to be from around here. What’s your name,
Doll?”
“
Molly,” she
stutters.
“
Where you headed,
Molly?”
She shrugs her shoulder and stares at the
ground.
“
Have you
eaten?”
She shakes her head without looking at me.
“How did you do that?”
“
I was a boxer in a previous
life and I hate when guys pick on girls.”
“
A previous
life?”
“
Well, it feels like it was
a lifetime ago,” I say.
“
Thank you,” she says, and
still doesn’t look at me.
“
Let’s eat; fighting always
makes me hungry.” We went to a diner where we both order
cheeseburgers, French fries, and chocolate milkshakes. We have been
hanging out ever since.
I stand in front of the mirror and tuck my
shirt in. Today is the one day of the year I have been dreading.
Molly bought me some new clothes and we have been staying in this
hotel with the money she got from her ex-husband for her part of
their house. I comb my hair and wait patiently for Molly to
return.
When she pulls up, she looks as though she
has been crying. Molly isn’t like everyone else. She doesn’t belong
on this side of the tracks. Some girls, you just know they were
born and raised to do drugs, but not Molly. If anyone can get out
and get their life back, it’s Molly.
“
Are you all right,
Doll?”
She tries to give me a smile, “I’m fine, are
you ready?”
“
Yep, I need to stop by a
florist first.”
“
You look nice, I’m glad the
clothes fit you,” she says, as we walk out the door. “You clean up
real good.”
“
Thank you. I’m glad the
clothes fit, too.”
She drives me to the florist and I return
with a large bouquet of pink roses. I give her directions and we
pull into a cemetery. She had no idea where I needed to go today.
She didn’t ask, and I didn’t offer to tell her or
explain.
“
Do you want me to go with
you?”
“
No, Doll, stay here and
wait for me.”
She doesn’t argue but does what I want. I
take the flowers and walk down the grassy area until I come to a
gravestone with this name on it: Jamie Sue Grether. I kneel down
and move the fresh-cut flowers over to make room for the roses I
brought. I stare quietly at the black and gold tombstone. I don’t
cry, I don’t pray, and I don’t say anything. Memories flood my
thoughts and I wonder why it isn’t me lying there. It should have
been me, and not Jamie. I gently touch the tombstone, rearrange the
flowers, stand, and walk away.
Chapter Seven: New Changes
Emma
“
Did you guys have a good
time with grandma and pap?” I ask, shutting the door after
them.
“
We did, we played putt-putt
golf and pap made a ball in one,” James says,
excitedly.
“
James, Pappy made a hole in
one.” Raelynn giggles.
“
Yep, a hole in one, and we
went bowling and Rae made a stripe.”
They both laugh and Raelynn corrects, “James,
I made a strike, silly.”
“
That’s what I
said.”
“
Well, it sounds like you
both had a wonderful time,” Alec says, ruffling James’ hair. “Now,
go get washed up so we can have lunch.”
The next day, Brooke watches the kids while
Alec and I work. When I arrive at work, Brea and Sara are already
there. Sara shows Brea her hand and they hug.
“
It looks like it’s a great
morning in here.” I smile.
“
Good morning, Emma, and yes
it is.” Sara smiles.
“
Are you going to tell me or
do I have to guess?” I ask, placing my purse under my
desk.
Sara waves her hand at me and the diamond
engagement ring sparkles under the lighting. I look at her and she
squeals, “I’m getting married!”
My smile now matches Brea’s as I walk over
and hug Sara. “Congratulations, I am so happy for you.”
“
Thank you, I am so
excited.”
Brea and I both look at her hand — the ring
is stunning. It’s a gold, one-karat Marquise-cut diamond
solitaire.
“
Hi, everyone, I hope you’re
all hungry,” Donovan says, as he walks in through the back door
carrying several bags of food. He is in a suit and tie and wearing
a smile to match Sara’s. She hasn’t stopped smiling since I got
here this morning.
“
We are starving. You
brought us all lunch?” Sara says, as she gets up to meet
him.
“
I know you didn’t have time
to bring anything this morning,” he says, as he bends down to kiss
her.
“
Thank you and
congratulations,” I say, as I walk over to hug
him.
“
Thank you. I’m pretty happy
to finally make Sara my wife.”
Brea also hugs him and clears the table off
for the food.
“
I can’t stay, I need to be
in court. Enjoy your lunch, ladies, and I’ll see you at home.” He
looks at Sara and smiles.
“
Hold on, I’ll walk you
out,” Sara says, walking to the back door with Donovan. “Don’t wait
for me to start eating. I’ll be back soon.” She walks out the back
door arm in arm with Donovan.
While Sara is outside talking to Donovan,
Brea and I discuss plans for a wedding shower. The front door opens
and in walks a very pregnant Angel wearing a dress and flats. I
think this is the first time I have ever seen her without high
heels.
Brea laughs and says, “Let me guess, Mason
stopped you from wearing heels?”
“
Yes, and I’m not happy
about it either,” she says, taking a seat nearest to the
door.
“
Is he afraid you’ll topple
over?” Brea asks, still laughing.
“
Brea, I didn’t laugh at you
when your short legs were in flats.”
“
Ok, you’re right. I won’t
laugh and I won’t mention it again.”
“
Thank you, where’s Sara?”
Angel asks.
“
She’s outside with
Donovan,” I say, taking a drink of my soda. “How are you
feeling?”
“
Actually, I feel
wonderful
despite being my womb densely
populated. The babies move all the time.”
“
Do you know what you are
having yet?” Brea asks.
“
We find out the gender of
the babies Friday — that’s one of the reasons why I’m here.” She
rubs her belly and adds, “We are going to have a gender reveal
party Friday at the house, and we want you all to be
there.”
“
Is that where you reveal
the sex of the babies to your family and friends?” I ask
excitedly.
“
Well, it’s where we’ll all
learn the sex of the babies at the same time. Mason and I want to
learn the gender or genders of the babies at the same time our
close family and friends learn it.”
Brea asks, “How do you plan to reveal the
sex?”