Authors: Brenda Kennedy
I’m not sure what to say to
that.
What could I possibly ever
need?
“Thank you, Mason, I appreciate
that.”
“
We better get back before
your boyfriend starts to worry.”
He leads me through the packed restaurant.
The atmosphere has already changed at our table: Everyone is now
talking about a baby shower and baby names. Alec stands when he see
me and pulls my chair in for me. Once I am seated, Mason and Alec
both sit.
The rest of the dinner is happy, upbeat, and
loud. We order our dinner, Mason keeps the drinks coming for
everyone, and he also makes sure Angel has plenty of juice and
water to drink.
I watch the way Mason looks at Angel, and I
have to smile. He is a man in love. Alec caresses my shoulder with
his fingers, and I get goose bumps. “Are you cold?” he asks,
sincerely. He has no idea he is the reason for the goose
bumps.
I look over at him and smile. “No, I’m
fine.”
On the drive home from dinner, we talk
excitedly about Angel and Mason’s pregnancy.
“
I have known Mason for a
long time, and I never thought he would settle down. Now he’s
married with almost two kids.”
I laugh at Alec’s comment about Mason having
kids. “Really? He looks very content and happy to me.”
“
Yes he does. I guess the
right girl will do that to a person.” Alec looks over at me and
smiles. “Angel is definitely the right girl for
Mason.”
“
They do seem like they get
along very well. Now I understand why he is so protective of
her.”
“
Yes, he is. I guess not
being able to protect your girl will put any man on guard. They
have been through a lot since they have been together. It’s good to
see them both happy.”
Later that week, I learn
that Raelynn has a birthday on Sunday, May
1
st
.
Alec tells me they usually go to Orlando for her birthday to one of
the dinner shows there. I was thinking
Beauty and the Beast
or
Cinderella
, so I am very
surprised to learn she wants to go to
Medieval Times
.
“
That’s the place with the
jousting and the horses, right?”
“
That’s the place. My family
usually meets us there; it’s someplace where all the kids can be
loud and have a good time. I think James will like
it.”
“
When you said a dinner
show, I was thinking something a little more…?”
“
Feminine or girly?” he
asks.
“
Yes, that’s what I was
thinking.” I look over at him and smile. “I think James will love
it.”
“
Good, if you want to ask
your mom and dad and Danny and Cheryl to come, that might be nice,”
Alec says, stroking my hand. “We also are inviting Molly’s mom and
dad, Bridget and Sam. You haven’t met them yet, but they are really
nice people. They love Raelynn, and I don’t know what I would have
done without them, this past year.”
“
You wouldn’t mind if Max’s
parents came?”
“
No, not at all. They like
Raelynn and they are an important part of your family, so they most
definitely should be included in Raelynn’s birthday
celebration.”
I smile before leaning in to kiss him. “You
know, my husband would have loved you.”
He kisses me back and says, “Emma, I don’t
think your husband would have liked me at all. Men don’t like other
men who kiss their wives.”
I lean back away from him and think about
what he just said. “You know what I mean. How long do you think
that I can refer to Max as my husband?”
“
Emma, I think you can refer
to Max as your husband up until the time you remarry. Then I may
become a little jealous hearing you call another man your
husband.”
The thought of Alec and I being married
brings a smile to my face. After Max’s death, I never thought I
could love another man or ever be happy again, but Alec has proven
me wrong. I think it’s still too early in our relationship to
consider marriage, but we are heading in the right
direction.
Alec
We meet everyone in the
parking lot of
Medieval Times
an hour before the show starts. Brooke, Brice, and
the boys followed us down in their own truck. Raelynn and the kids
are already super excited. Cheryl and Danny came and are talking to
the other parents. I am thrilled to see Molly’s parents, Bridget
and Sam, pull into the parking lot. I introduce them to Emma and
James and they greet them warmly. My brothers, sister, their kids,
and even their spouses also come.
When I made the
reservations, I booked the entire first three rows of the Yellow
section. My family never RSVP to anything; they just show up — or
not. I had no idea how many people would actually be here for
Raelynn’s birthday celebration. I am happy to see that so many
people made the one-and-a-half-hour drive to celebrate with us. I
made arrangements with the staff for us to set up for the party.
Just some balloons and a cake is all we brought. You
cannot
have a birthday
without balloons and a cake — they are a must for any birthday.
This was Molly’s rule, and we always follow it. Molly was wonderful
in the beginning. I shake my head to clear it from the thoughts of
Molly.
While Mom, Cheryl, Bridget,
and Millie go in to set up for the birthday party, the rest of us
take a tour through the 11
th
century-style castle. We see
the blacksmith shop, and even the torture chamber.
“
Do you think they actually
put people in those metal body cages to torture them?” Emma asks,
not taking her eyes off the cages.
“
Yes, I’m sure they did.
Back then, they beheaded and hung people for doing almost nothing.”
I whisper because I don’t want to scare the kids. “Executing people
was cheaper than keeping them in prison
.
Today, the cost of keeping people in
prison is less than the cost of executing them because of legal
fees and appeals.”
We go inside and the kids get their picture
taken with the King and Queen. We all get a yellow flag so we can
wave to our knight during the jousting. Once we are seated and the
show begins, the kids sit quietly and watch the tournament. We are
served a feast we must eat with only our fingers and the kids think
it is awesome. First we feast on garlic bread, tomato bisque soup
that we drink from a bowl, roasted chicken, spare ribs, herb-basted
potatoes and apple pasties for dessert. We eat, if we want to, from
the time the tournament begins to the time it ends. It’s a one and
a half hour tournament from start to finish.
The King and Queen honor Raelynn by calling
her name during the birthday announcements, and she stands up and
bows. Everyone in the arena applauds, and Rae waves to
them.
I sit back in my seat and
watch Emma and the kids. Rae and I have been here several times, so
I watch
Emma’s and James’
expressions as they see this for the first time.
This is a pretty impressive show. This is a great birthday for
Raelynn. The knights and the staff put on a good show. The swords
they use look real, but they are made of strong
cardboard.
After we say our goodbyes, we head home.
“Daddy, this is the best birthday ever. Can we come here for your
birthday?”
I look in the back seat and smile. “Raelynn,
I’ll think about it.”
“
When is your birthday?”
Emma asks.
I look over at her. “My
birthday’s September 1
st
. When is
yours?”
“
Not until August
15
th
.”
“
That might come in handy
one day,” I joke.
We pull up at home and Emma checks the mail
while I wait for her by the car. She returns and we each carry a
sleeping child into the house. Once the kids are in bed, Emma has a
glass of wine and I have a beer.
“
Alec, thank you. Today was
a perfect day for not just Rae, but for me and James, too. We
really had a great time.”
“
I’m glad you had a good
time. It’s one of Raelynn’s favorite places to
go.”
“
She did enjoy herself. I
thought it was nice that everyone showed up for her
birthday.”
I smile at the memory of everyone being
there. “Very seldom does everyone you invite show up to an event. I
was also surprised to see everyone there.”
Molly
I watch as Emma and Alec pull up into the
driveway. Emma checks the mail, and I contemplate running her over
with my car. She thinks she is so special, spending the day with my
daughter and husband on my daughter’s birthday. I want to see
Raelynn, but Alec carries her into the house. I smile at the
thought that my baby is asleep. I wonder how she spent her birthday
today.
“
Doll, let’s go. I don’t
want to spend another night in jail. You are becoming obsessed with
this.”
“
Not yet.” I look over at
Bobby; he is resting his head on the seat with his eyes closed. I
am reminded just how much I hate my life. I look out the window at
the brightly lit house my husband now calls home. My thoughts drift
back to when I was working at the hospital.
I had a terrible headache and another nurse offered me a
prescription pain pill to take. I thought it was hers until we went
into the narcotics cabinet and she signed it out under a patient’s
name. I remember thinking I can’t take that, it’s wrong. She told
me all the nurses do it, it’s not a big deal. She also told me if I
wanted it to work quickly to crush it up and snort it. I watch as
she did it and she seemed to have instant relief. I did it, too,
and that is what got me here today. After a while, the snorting
stopped working as quickly, so I started shooting up.
I wipe away the tears that fall and Bobby
moans.
“
Let’s go, Molly. Why do you
want to watch this? He is stupid to have ever let you go. You don’t
deserve the pain he causes you.”
He smiles and I can see that
at one time, Bobby was nice looking. He is tall and he used to be
very muscular. He used to be a boxer. When I first met him, he was
a lot stronger than he is now. Muscle-wasting is another side
effect of drugs. His hair is oily and his clothes are dirty. He has
a long-sleeved shirt on to hide the marks on his arms. I close my
eyes and pray to be someplace else, anyplace else. I hate my life.
I want to change, I really do. I swallow the
vomit
that threatens to
rise.
My arms begin to itch and I am reminded it is
time for me to use again. I viciously rub my arms to make that
prickling-needle, creepy-crawly feeling go away. I could stop using
today, if it weren’t for the detoxing. That is the hardest part.
The nurse who introduced me to snorting pain killers failed to tell
me about the crawly skin you get when you don’t use. She also
forgot to tell me about the constant nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea
that lasts for days. If she wasn’t already dead from overdosing, I
swear I could kill her myself.
The lights go off in the
house, and I am reminded that my husband will be sleeping with
another woman tonight. I put something in the mailbox before I
start the car and pull off to go to the land of the living
dead.
When I don’t use to numb the pain, I
use to stop the sickness.
Chapter Five: Expect the Unexpected
Emma
I wake up to the smell of bacon and the sound
of giddy children. It is another reminder that life is good. I
brush my teeth before joining my family in the other room. Alec is
sitting at the table staring at the stack of mail on the table. I
get a cup of coffee before joining him at the table.
“
Whatever you are staring
at, it must be pretty interesting.” Alec looks up at me and taps a
piece of mail on the table. “What is it?” I ask.
He looks at me but doesn’t say anything.
I take the mail from him and read the
envelope. It is addressed to Raelynn and the sender is “Mom.” I put
the card on the table next to Alec.
“
She hasn’t seen her in a
year, doesn’t ask about her, has never even called her, nothing.
Now she puts a card for her in the mailbox.”
“
Are you going to open
it?”
He taps the card on the table a few more
times before looking at the card again.
“
There’s no return address
and no postage, which means she brought it here and dropped it off
sometime yesterday. She’s still
stalking us
or you or Rae or a combination of us.” I watch him stand up and
walk to the front door. He opens the door wide and walks out onto
the front porch and looks up and down the street. When he is
satisfied no one is out there, he comes back into the house and
locks the door.
“
Alec, I think you should
open it. Maybe she is trying to change, just maybe she is trying to
do right by her daughter.”
Alec looks at me with a half-smile. “Emma,
you always try to see the good in people. You really are the most
innocent and purest person I know.” He taps the card on the table
again and says, “I would really like to think she is trying to
change and to be the kind of mother that Rae deserves.”
I hear the kids in the bedroom and I stand to
check on them. “I’ll be back.” I put on a fake smile before walking
in the bedroom where James and Raelynn are playing. “Good morning,
are you hungry?”