Broken (2 page)

I tried to let you go
But you came back
I tried to make you grow up
But you stayed the same
Maturity you lack
At your every call
I always came
I tried to say I need you
But you were not there at all
Now you say this is how it will always be
But this is not for me
I tried
Having someone to love apparently
is not your choice.

________________

Mixed Feelings

You are mine
But not that way
Like aged wine
You are reserved for that special day
When all those thoughts
You have held onto
Fill in the puzzle’s missing spots
And create life’s picture for you
I don’t want you to spoil
As does wine when opened too soon
My feelings are like dirty oil
Ever changing as does the moon
For I think one way
But after our eyes meet
I kinda feel like with you I need to stay
But then I look down at my feet
And see you for real
And get confused for some of your touches
Make it hard to not feel
Those butterflies as your arm brushes
Against mine
But I need to stay away
And so do you.

________________

The Fool
Walking aimlessly
After you
Holding onto every word
Is what I do
Hoping that the things said
Mean what I want
But it is just friendship I get instead
Cause all I have sought
Has been in vain
And you allowed me to think otherwise
So now I am in pain
Cause no one hears the cries
Of the fool
Who lets another
Treat her so cruel

________________

Forbidden

I try so hard to not feel
but it never works when you come around
when you look into my eyes I get weak
and am ready to do your will
you make it hard to not let my heart be found
and you make it so I am unable to speak
the truth out loud
to the world
cause this cannot happen
so i will just ignore it when i feel my heart pound
and pretend it is a lie
for you and I
are forbidden

________________

Every Time
every time I look into your eyes
I see a paradise for two
but then the truth is really lies
when I turn away from you
and see you wearing a disguise
and realize there is nothing I can do
to save myself from you
I am stuck in a hopeless battle full of pain
cause no matter what I do
there is nothing I can gain
by loving or hating you

________________

I don’t have much time
To sit here and wait
For you to get caught in your crime
And leave me as your bait
Always you scheme
life is one big mess
But what I know you couldn’t even dream
So why not just confess
Your lies
And help remove the chains
Wrapped across my eyes
So that I can have control over my reins

________________

Game

practically new
to the game of dating
there are very few
who are left waiting
for that special person
to take for their own
and become as one
for all eternity

________________

Only

I only want someone loving
to hold me closely
And whisper in my ear
Promises and secrets
Of us being together year after year
And making my heart
Burst from my chest
at the very thought

________________

Back

Something holds me back
from the things I want
it happens each time our eyes lock
that’s when the butterflies attack

And my mind they taunt

________________

Rock

You hit my heart with a jagged rock
Each time I pull away
The rope ties tighter
Around my waist
And months later I notice these rope burns that stay
Grow brighter
And stick to my flesh like paste

________________

Pain
The pain creeps up
Through my spine
And gathers around my neck
Makes me corrupt
And fills my glass with wine
To dispel the nervous wreck
That I’ve become
My ankles shake
I look away
As some
Talk of what a mistake
I’ve made
and try to think of a way
To punish me
For the sin
I’ve wrapped myself in.

________________

I would love to tell you what's in my head
but if I ever did
the relationship we now have would become dead
and I'd be an invalid
hopelessly wandering the street
where you live
crying out to all I meet
hoping my pain to others I could give
so empathy they'd feel
and with me cry
helping me deal
with this never-ending lie.

________________

U say

u say u don’t care
what’s going on with me
I wouldn’t dare
Ask why this is the way it must be
Deep inside I know you
Have affection for me
But not love that is true
I now see
Where my road is heading.

________________

Make Me

Make me follow your lead
Make my heart beat
Make my belly full of your seed
Make me yearn for your caress
Make my legs grow weak
Make my emotions one big mess
Make me depend upon you
Make my life revolve around yours
Make my decisions too
Make me love all there is about you
Make my desire lead me
Make my heart beat
Make my love known
Make me sweet
Make my soul no longer my own.

________________

I see you
but do you notice me?
I watch how your lips curve into a smile
but know you don't see
the softness in my eyes as I dial
your number
and think and pray
that you'll pick it up
and say
"hey"

________________

everyone I see
just isn’t the right one for me
I try to spot the love in someone’s eyes
But always come to realize
That there is none there for I
But why?

________________

Funny

it’s funny how one day you care
but the next you don’t
it’s funny how yesterday all you did was stare
but now you won’t
it’s funny how you looked at me
but now will not
it’s funny how this relationship was meant to be
but emptiness is what we got
it’s funny how I am so scared to love someone
but you are not
it’s funny how much I want us to be one
but never hear you say I’m hot
it’s funny how much I love your smile
but how seldom you use it
it’s funny how I hate your style
but that makes you lit
it’s funny how much I need you in my life
but am petrified to ask if you’d like me as your wife.

________________

Indecision

I try so hard to be your friend
But you keep pushing me aside
Whether I stay or leave will depend
On if you make me want to hide
Away my emotions from you
Or bottle up my fears
Cause this thing you do
Makes me want to shed tears
And run from before your face
The rejection is more than spite
Feels like being sprayed with mace
And the stinging in my eyes ruins my sight
Makes me blind to this abuse
That I am going through
Please stop this thing you do.

________________

unable

I just wanted you to hold my hand
But you’d pull away
I wanted a hug but you just shoved me in the sand
“I love you too” is what I hoped you’d say
but never heard it said back
I tried telling you how I feel
you responded with a verbal attack
Now with others I don’t know how to deal
Or know whom I should trust.
You’ve ruined my life
Thanks to you I’m unable to feel.

________________

You keep telling me to keep it up
that I do so well with taking care of them