Authors: Rachel Astor
“Okay, the works at the spa.”
“It’s not going to be cheap though,” Mattie warned.
I nodded. “I’ll just have to dip into my travel money again.”
“Yeah,” Calla said. “It’ll be fine. You won’t need your travel money anyway now that your Mom is paying for it.”
I nodded. “Although that whole thinking I was a bitch to Rebecca Singleton thing pissed her off pretty good.”
Calla shrugged. “But you’re in there and you’re doing what you’re supposed to. Plus, wasn’t the whole point of putting you in the lotto in the first place for you to land Jake Hall? Well here you are, going out on a date with him. I hardly think she could disapprove.”
“Good point. I wonder if I should call her and let her know.”
Calla shook her head. “Why don’t you let her read about it in the papers? Then she’ll be able to show off to all her friends.”
“Oh crap. It’s going to be in the papers,” I said.
“Of course it is gorgeous,” Mattie said. “And that’s why we have to make you even more gorgeous. We should get started right away.”
“But I don’t even know what we’re doing yet Mattie.”
“Right. Damn. Go check your email,” he instructed.
I sat down in front of the computer. “Emma just called me a few minutes ago. I’m sure Jake hasn’t even talked to Emma to get my email address yet.”
I powered up and logged on to my email.
There it was.
“That can’t be his real email address, can it?” I said. “He must have thousands of fans emailing him all the time if he uses his real name.”
Calla shrugged. “Maybe it’s so obvious that people don’t even bother trying it.”
“Open it already, open it!” Mattie said, bouncing he was so excited.
“Do you have to go to the bathroom?” I asked him.
He let out a big sigh. “Come on, just open it.”
I wasn’t really all that comfortable opening my private email with Calla and Mattie looming over my shoulders, but I did it anyway. They seemed almost as invested in this whole thing as I was. And I definitely owed them for their undying support through it.
I clicked on the link.
Hi Josie,
I was really glad to hear that you had won the Bachelorette party prize. A couple of those other girls make me a little nervous.
Anyway, here are the details for our date. Is it weird that I’m calling it a date if it’s a contest? Just so you know, I was trying to work up the courage to ask you out anyway and Emma came up with this idea to sort of let me off the hook. There I said it. Now I’m embarrassed, but I thought you should know.
So I’ll pick you up around 8 tomorrow if that works for you. I can’t tell you where we’re going. It’s a surprise. And since you’re a girl and all, and I know you will probably freak out about what to wear I will let you know that you can dress casual.
Looking forward to tomorrow.
Jake
“Oh. My. God!” I said. “He is looking forward to the date! It’s not just a pity thing.”
“You are so gonna marry him,” Calla said.
“Calla! Don’t freak me out more than I already am!”
“Sorry.”
“I cannot believe he’s not telling you what you’re doing for the date,” Mattie said. “Casual? Casual? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Business casual? Jogging suit casual? Club hopping casual? What are we going to do? What are we going to do?” His voice was getting higher and higher by the second.
“Mattie! Mattie, calm down,” I said. “We’ll figure this out. You’re a professional. Everything is going to be okay.”
He took a few deep breaths. “You’re right. We’ll just have to work with contingency plans. Accessorize to the max and carry extras in your bag.”
I could tell that the fashion wheels were spinning in his head at lightning speed. Thank goodness I didn’t have to worry about my attire. Mattie was certainly doing enough worrying about that for all of us.
All I had to worry about was making sure McMaster the Disaster didn’t show up to ruin my evening. Speaking of, it was definitely time for another entry. I could almost feel my head swelling already.
Dear Disaster Diary,
All through high school, I had a crush on this one guy. That’s it. One guy. All my eggs in one basket, so to speak. A quiet, shy guy with whom I had a mild eye locking flirtation with, but had hardly ever spoken to.
I also had this friend who thought it was hilariously funny to sneak up behind me and poke her fingers into my sides to watch me flinch. Did I mention I am very jumpy? So one day she did her usual sneak up behind me, and well you know, scare me to death.
Horrifyingly, as she poked me, a tiny fart squeaked out making that sound like a balloon when you pull the end taught and let the air squeal out slowly. And guess who was standing there?
So much for those four years of making eye contact.
~ 8 ~
“Do we have to shop tonight? I’m tired,” I said, trying to drag my butt down the street and keep up with Mattie.
“Jake hasn’t left us much time to prepare. You’ve got a whole day of spa treatments tomorrow. Then you’re going to have to rush back here so I can color and cut you.”
“I still can’t believe he isn’t telling you what you’re doing,” Mattie said, in a huff.
“I think it’s kind of sweet. You know, being all mysterious. It’s a pretty good move. I have to admit, I haven’t stopped thinking about what we’re going to be doing for even a second.”
“Oh please. It’s a date with Jake Hall, as if you would have stopped thinking about it anyway,” Mattie said.
“You’ve got a point,” I said.
“Here we go,” Mattie said and pulled me into a store. “This place should have everything we need.”
Frankly the store didn’t look like much, just an out of the way little shop. Inside was dark and reminded me of what the inside of an old fishing boat must look like. But the walls were lined with gleaming objects; costume jewelry, hats, purses, sunglasses. Just about every kind of accessory you would ever need or want.
Mattie grabbed a big basket from the front of the store and went to work.
“Just go sit back there,” he said, pointing to a wall of mirrors that lined the back of the store.
“Okay, you’re the boss,” I said and winked at him.
But he was too busy throwing item after item into his basket to notice that I was trying to be cute, so I just went and sat on a big comfy chair.
“Can I get you anything while you wait?” a saleslady asked.
“Um. Sure. Do you have coffee?”
“We have Columbian, Espresso, Latte, Cappuccino, or Café Crema.”
“Wow. Really?” I said, amazed that this little hole in the wall was so accommodating. “I’ll have a latte please.”
“Coming right up,” she said with a smile and snuck back behind the curtain that she’d appeared from.
She quickly returned with my coffee, which was surprisingly good. I sipped and flipped through the latest fashion magazines sitting on the coffee table. It didn’t take long for Mattie to arrive with his basket of goodies.
“Okay darling. Are you ready for a whirlwind accessory adventure?”
“I guess so,” I said, not really sure that I was.
He began to pull and prod me, piling me with this hat, then that hat. He flung necklaces over my head and rammed sunglasses on me so hard I winced.
“It’s the price of beauty,” he kept reminding me.
“Jeez Mattie, I’m a person, not a mannequin.”
“Oh shush,” he said. “It’s going to be totally worth it.”
He put the things he liked back into the basket, and the rest he tossed onto one of the chairs. I thought it was kind of rude of him, especially considering the great customer service we were getting, but who was I to correct him on anything shopping related.
“Okay, we’re definitely going with a hat. I’m thinking low ponytail and a hat will fool people into thinking you’re hip and chic.”
“Thanks.”
“Perhaps no necklace, just an understated scarf and plenty of bangles to jazz you up a little. Cool belt. Sunglasses would be too much. And the purse.”
“Oh, that’s cute,” I said looking at the little purse he’d picked out. It was a knock off of a sneaker, with striped rubber around the bottom and laces up the front.
“I know, right?” he said, obviously quite pleased with himself.
He threw an evening wear style necklace and earring set and a sparkly scarf that he held up to my waist, into the basket.
“These will be in case of emergency only. You’ll keep them in your purse and if you’re feeling under dressed, you can just throw them on. You really be ready for whatever he has up his sleeve.”
“Okay, we still have to find clothes, so hurry up and go pay for these,” he said, shoving the basket into my hands.
“Okay, okay,” I said.
Apparently Mattie wasn’t too concerned that I hadn’t finished my coffee. He pulled it out of my hand and set it on the table.
“Shopping! More shopping,” he said pushing me toward the cash register.
I hurried up to the till and paid for my purchases, cringing again as I hit the savings button on the debit machine.
We headed back up the street in the same direction that we had been going.
“Okay, in here,” he said and dragged me in.
“A lingerie shop?” I said. I already told you that I will not be sleeping with him on the first date.
“Oh ye of little faith. It’s not for sex,” he said. “It’s for the actual outfit. We need a bustier.”
“Oh.”
Mattie rushed around the store quickly scoping.
“Here we go,” he said pulling a lipstick red satin bustier off the rack. “Go. Try on.”
“Oh, we’re in such a rush, we’re not even speaking in full sentences anymore?” I teased.
He continued shooing me towards the change rooms.
I was a little nervous, but was finally able to come out of the change room to show him.
“Oh yes,” he said. “Your breasts look magnificent.”
“Mattie!”
“What? That’s important. And don’t say that it’s not because you know that it is.”
I just turned back into the dressing room.
I suppose it can’t be a bad thing to have magnificent breasts.
“Okay, all we need now is a coat, some pants, I’m thinking maybe jeans again, and some shoes. No. Boots. Definitely boots.”
“That is starting to sound expensive,” I yelled out to him.
“Honey, when, in your life, are you going to have another opportunity like this?”
He was right. I was never going to have another opportunity like this. If someone had told me a month ago that I’d be going on a date with Jake Hall, I’d have laughed hysterically in their face. What a difference a month makes.
“That’s what I thought,” Mattie said. “You are a lucky, lucky girl, and spending a little money on some gorgeous clothes is not going to break you. You’re going to be wearing this stuff for years to come.”
“And when am I going to opportunities to wear those dresses again?”
It wasn’t like formal occasions were a regular thing in my circle of friends.
“If you get together with Jake Hall, you’ll have plenty of opportunities.”
I came out of the change room and stared at Mattie. I had daydreamed a million times about getting together with Jake Hall, but I had not thought about what kind of effect it would have on my life. I could be going out all the time, attending fancy parties and award shows.
“Earth to Josie,” Mattie said and snapped his fingers three times in front of my face.
I shook my head. Whoa. I was getting way ahead of myself. “Sorry,” I said. “Okay, what’s next?”
We walked over to pay for the bustier.
“Skinny jeans and a great jacket. Something unexpected. Nothing too, too causal. I mean, you are going out with Jake Hall. It’s not like he’s going to just order pizza and take you to a baseball game or something.”
“That would be fun though,” I said.
“Sure. Shoveling shit could be fun as long as it’s with Jake Hall, but I’m just saying, it’s not likely. You’ll definitely be doing something more interesting than that, especially since he is excited to be going out with you.”
“I absolutely cannot believe he said that. He must have just been trying to be nice.”
“Come on Josie, give yourself a little credit.”
“Credit for what? You are talking to Josephine McMaster, a name that in high school was rarely without ‘the Disaster’ immediately following it.”
“Josie, you haven’t been McMaster the Disaster for quite some time now. You are a successful woman making it in the big city. Not a small feat.”