Breathe (19 page)

My mom needed to stay asleep right now. It would be too hard to lie to both of them so blatantly. I had all I could handle with what I had going on.

“What are you talking about, Jasmine?” He looked confused and bordering on pissed off. I put on my stubborn face.

“I told you, I’m just not ready. I’ve never dated, and I think I committed too soon. I’m too young to be in a committed relationship. You’re always asking where I am and what I’m doing. You act like you’re my dad. My dad isn’t here, and I like it that way. I like you a lot, but I don’t think this is working,” I repeated. I looked down at the blankets and back up again to see if he was buying it. He was just staring at me, not saying anything. He looked like he was trying to decide something.

“Jasmine, you promised me,” he said angrily.

Time for the big finish.

“What? The lying thing? Easton, I’m not lying. I’m so sorry. I don’t want to hurt you. That’s all. I don’t think it’s working out, and I don’t think I should stay with you because I feel bad. That isn’t right.” I looked into his eyes that were so beautiful and hurt at the same time. He held my gaze for what seemed like forever. And then he nodded.

“All right, Jasmine. If that’s what you want. That’s what we’ll do.” He leaned down, kissed my cheek, turned around, and walked out the door without another word. That was it. Heartbroken in seconds. It was shocking how fast it could happen. From happy to miserable in no time at all.

I scooted down in the bed, pulled the covers over my head, and sobbed myself to sleep as quietly as I could. My mom never even stirred.

The hospital released me the next morning. I was still a little dazed from whatever had been on that piece of material and the breakup with Easton. I really wanted to curl up in a ball in my bed at home, but I insisted on going to school. It didn’t seem wise to avoid it. I was worried about what might happen if I wasn’t there. The Monster was obviously watching. What would he do? I wanted to prove I was doing what he said. I had gotten the beginnings of a plan in the early morning hours before my mother had woken up, and I needed to get on with it.

When my mom dropped me off midmorning, I thought I was ready to face the questions and the staring. The girls were really sweet. They had baked me cookies and brought them to school. We sat around at our table in the quad munching them at lunchtime, which worked out well since I hadn’t brought or even thought about lunch. Into this setting, the ever-grating Trenton arrived. He marched up to me, grabbed my arm, and pulled me out of my seat.

“Trenton, stop it. What are you doing?”

He glared at me. “You’re coming with me. You obviously hit your head when you passed out yesterday or I wouldn’t have to ask you what the heck you are thinking.” His face was in my face, looking very upset.

“What are you talking about, Trenton?” I protested as he dragged me a few feet away from where the girls sat.

“I’m talking about you breaking up with my brother.” He was angry.

I understood why he was upset, but this was my chance to make a clean sweep. I was just going to convince them all that they didn’t know me very well, and that I was just a vapid, flighty girl who didn’t know her own mind. “Trenton, this is none of your business. We broke up, okay? No big deal. He wanted to be more serious than I did. I mean, he was constantly telling me what to do.” I was really pouring on the shallow-girl act here, but this was Trenton, and it took a little bit of doing to get through his thick head, I knew. I just needed him to stay angry and stay away from me.

“What are you talking about? One day you’re ecstatically happy, and the next, you’re just over him? I know it might seem weird to you because I was saying how mad I was, but, Jasmine, he’s devastated. How could you do this to him?”

He looked like I just kicked his puppy. “I just don’t want to be told what to do by anyone, okay?” I glared at him. “That goes for you too. Just go away, Trenton.”

He looked stunned. I could only take so much. I turned and did the best imitation of Lily flouncing away that I could manage. I didn’t look back.

The girls tried to look like they weren’t watching what happened, but I could tell they saw the entire thing. I sat back down at the table and tried to act nonchalant.

“What in the world was that about?” Mandy asked right away.

“I broke up with Easton last night, and Trenton obviously thinks it’s his business.” I shrugged for effect. Here we go. Let the onslaught of questions begin.

“What?” Mandy kind of screeched.

“Are you kidding? Why?” Raquel looked like someone slapped her.

“Oh, Jasmine, are you okay?” Julia. Gotta love her. She was always looking out for me.

“Yes, I’m fine. I had a very good reason. He wanted to be too serious, too fast. After my little overheating incident yesterday, he lectured me about my personal safety and how I needed to be more careful, and I got upset. I have a mom. I don’t need a dad. I don’t want a boyfriend who thinks his job is to tell me what to do. That’s all. His idea of a relationship is not the same as mine.”

They looked at me like I had lost my mind. Well, if I were them, I would think so too. Give up Easton for that flimsy a reason? I would have to be crazy, but thankfully they didn’t know me that well, so I could be. I just needed them to buy it for now. I needed to put some distance between me and everybody I cared about, to keep them safe. The Monster was obviously watching somehow. He knew what was going on in my life. I wouldn’t put it past him to threaten my friends too.

“I’m sorry if that’s a problem for all of you. I’m going to go to class.” I got up from the table and walked away. I knew I had hurt their feelings, but really it was what was best for them. I was dangerous to be friends with, and I needed to focus right now. Keeping to myself would give me more time to plan anyway.

I couldn’t believe my life had come to this. Everything had been going so well, I guess I should have known. This must have been what happened to Daisy. When I think back to the time before she was taken, she had been acting a little strange. Distracted and jumpy. He must have threatened her too. It made my stomach cramp to think of how scared Daisy must have been with no one to talk to. It made me sick to think that he used me to get to her. She must have felt so helpless.

But this time it would be different. I was going to change the game now. I knew what he was capable of. All of this destruction of our lives was going to be for a reason. My plan still needed work, but I thought I might have something. I had a lot of research to do. FedEx was going to be my new best friend.

As scary as it sounded, my attitude was “bring it on.” I would be ready. I would make sure he got caught. I didn’t want to die in the process, and the idea was to come out alive on the other side, but there were no guarantees. The police hadn’t caught him before, and I was pretty sure he had covered his tracks here as well, so I couldn’t alert the authorities. I couldn’t risk my family or Easton’s. There was really no other way. This Monster had ruined my family and killed my sister. I wasn’t going to let him get away again. I would never be able to live with myself if someone else got hurt.

The next few days I spent a lot of time planning and not allowing myself to think about everything that could go wrong. I made myself scarce at school. I sat as far away from the girls in class as I could. I was being ignored by them overall, but Raquel gave me some pretty hateful looks a few times. I ate lunch by myself and avoided the common areas. Whenever I saw Trenton, he acted as if I didn’t exist. Even though it was exactly what I had wanted, it made my week that much worse.

At the end of the week, I finally was allowed to go back to cross-country practice. I knew it would be difficult because today we had to stay on the track. Of course, football was having their practice at the same time. I got out on the track and tried to get out of my head from the beginning, but seeing Easton on the field running drills and passing the ball made the first twenty minutes that much more torturous. I was just hitting the point where my run stopped sucking so much when I rolled my ankle.

“Rourke! You okay?” Coach bellowed across the field, so most heads on the track and the field turned to look at him and then me. Brilliant. Could I do anything that wasn’t noticed by the entire population of Lafayette High School? Of course not. That would be much too simple. I limped around the corner and hopped my way to Coach. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Easton turn, start toward me, and then stop. Sigh. This was my life now. When I got to Coach Anderson, he sat me down on a nearby bench.

“What happened out there?” he asked as he manipulated my foot in different directions.

“I don’t know. I was just coming around the corner and my ankle rolled.” I winced a few times.

“All right, Rourke, you’re done for the day and probably for a week or two. Ice, ice, ice. Every twenty minutes tonight and then every day after school. Do you have crutches at home?” Of course we had crutches. In fact, the entire closet in the utility room was full of first aid supplies. My mother could probably outfit a small hospital from what she had stored in there. “Yeah, Coach. A few pairs actually.”

He chuckled. “Accident prone, are we?”

I smiled. “Not really, but my mom’s a nurse, so…”

He smiled back. “Oh, that’s right. Well, keep me posted on how you’re doing for the next few days and we’ll see when you’re up to coming back. Okay?” I nodded and started to hobble my way to the gym. All of a sudden, I was scooped up off the ground.

“Wait, what are you—?” I looked up and Easton was carrying me. My brain stopped working. No shock there. “I, uh, you don’t have to—”

“Shut up, Jasmine.” He was looking straight ahead and kept walking. Ooookay. I shut up and looked where we were going instead.

It felt so amazing to be in his arms. I wanted to bury my face in his chest and breathe in. I didn’t care if he was sweaty. I know—gross—but I had missed him so much. I wanted to just stay where I was forever, but what if the Monster had seen? This was very dangerous. We were almost to the gym.

He set me down in front of the girls’ locker room doors. “Thanks.” I didn’t even look at him. I thought I heard him sigh. But I hopped my way through the doors and didn’t look back. Oh please, Lord, don’t let the Monster have seen. Crap. That did not go as planned at all. Well, I was just going to have to try harder not to be anywhere he was. The sprained ankle had solved the practice problem. It just had to be enough.

By the time I got home, I felt like I had run the gauntlet, but there wasn’t any time for rest. I had spent a lot of time doing my research on the computer, and I still had a lot to do. My plan was coming together, and I hoped it was fast enough. Not having to go to practice would help me out quite a bit. Unfortunately, the bane of my existence thought he had dibs on the computer. I didn’t think so. I had seniority, and I was in no mood to negotiate.

“Caedan, move. You’re done.” I gave him a little shove to get him out of the chair. My package had come today, and I really needed to get it set up. I didn’t have the patience right now to deal with an obnoxious little brother.

“I don’t think so. I was here first.” He didn’t even look away from the screen. I could see he was playing one of his favorite games on Nickelodeon’s website.

“I need to get some work done, you little creep, so move. You can play later.” I gave him another little shove. My stuff needed to be done before my mom came home. I was thankful she had been working a lot of shifts this week, otherwise I would need my own laptop, but that wasn’t going to happen. Sharing the computer with Caedan could be a problem. Especially right now.

“I was already here, so just push off. You can have it later. Just because you don’t want mom to see what you are doing. I’m not moving.”

I paused, a little stunned. “What are you talking about? I’m not doing anything but e-mailing people back home,” I said. “I also have a history project due. Homework comes before your game, Caedan.” I already felt like I was coming out of my skin. The Monster could call me anytime, and I needed to be ready. I felt like the clock was ticking, and I was so far behind. I didn’t want to deal with an annoying brother too. Lily and Caedan had been taking the brunt of my worry all week. Thankfully, I think my mom told them to tread lightly due to the breakup with Easton.

He turned in his chair and smirked at me.

“What’s all that stuff you’ve been looking at online then? A project?”

I gritted my teeth and refrained from dumping him out of the chair. I didn’t have the time or patience for his antics. “As a matter of fact, it’s a project on how far technology has come in the last 150 years and what part the US played in it. What did you think I was doing, dork?” He looked crestfallen. It was like I had ruined his whole night. Ah, well, age and wisdom beats young and clever—at least this time.

“Oh. Well, I just thought you were going to be keeping track of Easton, now that you’re the biggest idiot on the planet and broke up with him.”

I glared at him. “Why would I do that? I’m the one who broke up with him, genius.” Crisis averted. “I’ll call you when I’m done. It won’t be long. I just have a couple of things to research.”

He slunk out of the chair and mumbled, “Jerk.” I ignored him. He was a little too smart sometimes. I really needed to remember that.

That night I went to bed early, complaining my ankle was bothering me, and after being subjected to it being shoved in a bucket full of ice water numerous times throughout the evening, it certainly wasn’t a lie. Life was
so
not what I wanted it to be right now: angry friends, no boyfriend, ice baths, grumpy brothers, and a crazy serial killer after me. It was time for bed.