Breath Of The Heart (12 page)

"I'm Zach and Genie's friend."

The man looked at Zach then back at me. "Is Zach your boyfriend? Zach, is this your girlfriend? She looks conservative."

"Allen, she's not my girlfriend, and her politics don't matter."

"Are you a Republican?" he asked me.

"No. I don't really get involved in politics. I haven't even voted yet."

He rolled his eyes. "Zach, brief your girlfriend. Everyone else, let's have a good time."

"Who was that?" I asked when it was all over.

"Allen, my dad's campaign manager. Micromanager freakshow."

"What are you going to brief me on?"

"Here's my brief. Have a good time and don't mention the pipeline or the upcoming election."

A short time later guests arrived and so did the photographers and media. Zach and Genie did their jobs and took pictures with everyone, but Zach never strayed too far. It was nice knowing he had my back.

"Let's get a picture together," he suggested. He called over a photographer who took a picture, but then three more appeared. It was the paparazzi. "I'll be doing this all night," he muttered through a smile.

Zach put his arm through mine and the next stop was the bar. "The best way to make it through one of these evenings is with a little alcohol. What can I get you?"

"I only drink the occasional beer."

He turned to the bartender. "White wine for the lady and a whiskey sour for me. No beer on tap," he said to me. "Too pedestrian."

With our drinks in hand we hit the refreshment table where Genie was with the infamous Steve. I did a double take at first. Steve was older than Genie, easily in his late twenties and slightly balding. I'd assumed that Genie would be with an Adonis, but Steve was so ordinary, right down to his wrinkled grey suit.

"Steve, this is Emma," Genie said, her face beaming.

"Hey," he said mostly disinterested. He turned his attention back to the phyllo pastry appetizers.

"And a hello to you too," Zach said.

More guests filed in which meant Genie and Zach had to make an effort to greet them, at least for the first little while. I stood back, away from Steve, and watched them both work the men and women who donated to their father's campaign. They looked so natural, laughing at jokes, handing out compliments and saying words of support for their father. Many of the ladies took long glances at Zach even with their husbands standing by their sides.

"You're Zach's latest girlfriend?" Steve asked, licking his fingers from whatever remnants of food was still on them.

"We're just friends."

He snorted. "Good ol' Zach likes to play the field, so don't say you weren't warned."

Where had this guy come from anyway? I thought I'd left him safely with the refreshments. "Like I said, we're just friends. How long have you and Genie been dating?" I thought changing the subject was a good idea.

"Two years. Met her in one of my classes. I was her TA."

Kind of gross. "Oh. Are you still in school?"

"Getting my PhD in poly sci."

"That's good."

"Thought I'd scope out the party and see if there are any prospects here."

"Job prospects? I thought you were a conservative. Aren't you barking up the wrong tree?"

"You never know who might show up to one of these things."

Mercifully Zach finished the schmoozing and rescued me from Steve. He had another glass of white wine in his hand and a drink for himself. "I can guarantee that talking to that guy will make you stupid."

"So, I have to ask, what does Genie see in him? And don't say he's good in bed. That's not enough."

"I don't know. He's a way to rebel from my parents? He's a doofus."

"He's not what I expected."

Zach groaned.

"What?" I asked, following his gaze.

"Bianca's parents are here."

My body froze. Did that mean she was here? "Her parents?"

"Yeah, they donate to Dad's campaign. They've always been supportive."

The wine began to burn in my stomach. "Is she here?"

"She couldn't be bothered and besides, she wouldn't set foot in this house."

"Why not?"

Zach smiled mischievously. "Let's just say that she wouldn't want to poke the bear."

"That sounds ominous."

"Let's leave it at that."

I titled my head to one side and stared at him. He tried to ignore me. "What do you have on her?" I asked.

"It's better you don't know," he said and laughed.

"You've got me curious."

"All I can say is that Bianca has some skeletons and I happen to know where all the bones are buried."

"Are you the reason she's keeping her distance?"

"Maybe. At least I know she's not as stupid as I once thought she was. Look, let's not talk about Bianca. Let's circulate."

He had to know that people would think I was his girlfriend. He introduced me to the mayor, business leaders and other politicians. I'd never be able to remember all the names. We drank more expensive wine, ate fabulous appetizers of duck, lamb and cheese-filled pastries. By the time the last of the guests had left, I was on a euphoric high. I could have run laps around the estate despite my aching feet.

"Did you have fun?" Zach asked, walking me to my room.

"Tonight was amazing," I said with a little skip to my step.

"I'm not sure you'd say that if you had to go to dozens and dozens of them a year."

"Pretty sure I'd still say that."

We stopped at my bedroom door and he gazed down at me. Even though he was only a few inches taller than me in my heels, I still felt small under his stare.

"You looked beautiful tonight."

"Stop saying that or it will go to my head."

He took hold of my hand, squeezing it gently. My heart picked up a million beats as a rush of warmth flowed through my veins.

"I'm glad you were here tonight. I couldn't dream of spending it with anyone else."

I looked up, and at that moment, when our eyes met, I knew I'd given him all the reassurance he needed. He leaned in and I closed my eyes, anticipating the kiss. At first his lips barely grazed mine, but as I got up on my tip-toes, he slipped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer, the kiss more intense. A flush of warmth enveloped me, making me want to bury myself in his embrace. He gently bit down on my lower lip and broke the kiss, leaving me wanting more.

"I should probably get off to bed before we get caught," he said.

"Uh, yeah."

"Goodnight, Em."

Never in my life did I want to run after someone and tell them not to go, but so many things stopped me, the most was my crippling fear.

I went into my room and closed the door behind me. I wanted to laugh, scream and cry all at the same time.

~~~~~~~

The next morning reality set it. Zach kissed me and I spent the whole night thinking about it. In fact, I don't think I fell asleep. Over and over again in went through my mind like an old movie reel. At one point I'd even had a panic attack, gasping for air and barely able to breathe. The most amazing kiss of my entire life had reduced me to a muddy, messy puddle of dirt.

I didn't want to leave my bed, or the limited security it offered. Getting up and dressed meant I had to face Zach. What was he going to do? Announce it to the entire breakfast table? My heart picked up beats again and my hands shook a little. I could deal with this, I had to.

I showered and put on some clothes. Thankfully I'd packed all my stuff before the party. I brought my bag downstairs and braved the breakfast table. Only Mrs. Walker was there.

"Good morning, dear," she said. "Sleep well?"

"I did. Thank you for having me at your party."

"We love friendly faces. Help yourself to breakfast. I should probably wake the other sleepy heads."

I wanted to throw up. As I looked through all the chafing dishes even the sight of eggs Benedict turned my stomach. Knowing I had to eat something, I scooped some scrambled eggs and speared a slice of French toast. What if I couldn't keep it down?

One of the staff came around and asked me what I wanted to drink. I prayed they had chamomile tea to settle my nerves and was thankful when the server said she'd be right back with it.

I nibbled the eggs, pushing them around my plate more than anything else. Mrs. Walker returned and resumed her seat across from me. I wanted to die right there. I couldn't handle whatever would come next. I liked my life the way it was; completely uncomplicated. No kiss, no friends, no life. It was easy and all I'd ever known.

"I've woken everyone up. They should be down shortly."

The server returned with my tea and I longed to drink it as fast as I could. I needed something, but I'd stopped filling my anti-anxiety meds a long ago and hadn't even refilled the prescription when the whole Bianca thing went down. I'd say that was progress, but I could use a Paxil right now. A kiss was a prelude and I didn't want to know what came after that.

"I hear you like to cook," Mrs. Walker said, starting up conversation.

"I do. I find it relaxing."

"I must confess I'm not much use in the kitchen. I have two older sisters and they did all the cooking along with my mother when I was growing up. Do you have siblings?"

I couldn't figure out if she was fishing for information, or if she genuinely wanted to know. Was she sizing me up to see whether or not I was good enough for her son? My stomach gurgled. "I have two younger brothers."

"I bet they are picky little eaters. Zach used to be so picky when he was young. Now he'll eat just about anything."

"I don't live with my brothers."

"Your parents are divorced?"

I panicked some more. Did I tell her the truth and risk her looking down on me, or just perpetuate a lie? I hated lying and I'd done enough of it with Dad.

"Actually, my parents were never married. My dad and grandparents raised me. My mom was a teenager when she had me . . . fifteen."

I expected Mrs. Walker's expression to curdle like all the other people who couldn't, or wouldn't, understand. Or, she'd give me that pitied look I hated even more. But Mrs. Walker did neither.

"I bet your father and grandparents are lovely people. We should have them over for dinner one evening. Not to sound sexist, but was it your grandmother who taught you to cook?"

Mrs. Walker didn't care and I couldn't believe it. "Yes, she was a great cook. She passed away three years ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that, dear. Well, if you ever want to take over our kitchen, you can make us something anytime. I can try to help."

I was now convinced Zach's family were the Waltons and while that should have made me happy, it made me feel worse. I sipped tea. I needed a vat of it.

"Morning," Zach said, entering the dining room and grabbing a plate. He filled it high with eggs, potatoes, bacon, sausages and a generous helping of grilled tomatoes. He took a seat next to me and I felt my head fog. I could not have a panic attack at their table.

"I was just getting to know Emma," Mrs. Walker said. "I'd like to invite her family to dinner. How about after the holidays?"

"I'd like to meet them too," Zach said.

I sipped more tea, pinching my leg under the table to divert my attention from the looming panic attack. Pull it together, I told myself. I was not going to make a fool of myself in front of Mrs. Walker. I had to quell the butterflies fighting around in my chest. I focused on my breaths and felt the panic subside. I could do this.

"And we won't make you cook," Mrs. Walker joked.

I smiled. Yup, I could do this.

Genie, Steve and Mr. Walker joined us. The conversation was light, mostly about the party. I had a few refills of tea and listened absently to the chitchat. I kept timing my breathing, focusing on my calm place.

"We should get out of here," Zach said, glancing at his watch. "Emma has to catch a bus back to Pine Falls early this afternoon."

"Dear, it's been a pleasure and we hope to see you soon," Mrs. Walker said. She reached out to hug me and I hesitated for just a second. Hug me? She scooped me into her arms. "Now you tell your father and grandfather that we are expecting them in the New Year."

"I will."

I put on my jacket and boots and Zach grabbed my bag. We went to his truck without exchanging any words. How long could I put him off? He'd bring it up.

"You know my mom is serious about having your dad and grandfather over."

"I'll tell them." Why hadn't I taken tea for the road?

"And you had a good time?"

"I did. Thank you."

He acted so cool, like nothing had happened. I knew he'd kissed a thousand girls, but he was only the second guy to ever kiss me, so it was kind of a big deal. I couldn't just forget about it; the kiss changed everything.

He talked about neutral stuff for most of the ride. His dislike for Steve, some of the guests he liked, others he couldn't stand but pretended to be nice to. I half-listened and when we pulled up to the apartment I felt a sense of relief. I needed to finish packing for Pine Falls and then I'd call a cab. Even if I was at the bus station early, I didn't care. I needed space.

Did he notice I was acting weird? I had to act as normal as possible for maybe another half hour? I packed quickly, stuffing things into my suitcase without even folding them. I pulled out my phone and called a cab. I rolled my luggage do the door and Zach looked up from the sofa where he'd been scrolling through his phone.

"You're leaving already?" he asked surprised. "Don't you have a couple of hours?"

"I figured I get there early."

He got up and as he got closer I stepped back. He stopped, staring at me quizzically. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." My heart raced again and the fog was setting in. Keep calm.

"You've been acting strange all day. Is this about last night?"

My stomach bottomed out. Oh, geez. "No, no. I have to go, I've got a cab coming."

He grasped onto my arm before I could make my escape. "Are you mad at me?"

"I'm not mad. You have to let me go. I'm sure the cab is waiting."

"He can wait." Zach's face was marred with confusion and concern and his hold on my arm was unwavering.