Authors: Renee Matteo
“Hi Lisa, call me Gina.” She offered her a warm smile both on her lips and in her eyes. “You’re working a long shift,” Gina said. She took a sip of the hot coffee feeling the warmth crawl down her body.
“I don’t really work shifts. This is my grandparent’s
bed and breakfast. I stay with them in the summer and help out with the guests.” She took a seat on a lounge chair next to Gina. “You’re up early.”
“Yeah. I’m usually not up to see the sunrise. But I zonked out right after I checked in. I doubt I could sleep more than the almost ten hours I got. I feel so relaxed.” She took another sip of her coffee and leaned back into the chair. “My room is very comfortable. Your grandparents have a lovely place.”
“They do. It’s been my favorite place to be since I could remember.” The young girl looked around the porch, “where are you headed today?”
“I’m not sure. I think I am just going to relax for a bit.”
“If you need any suggestions or directions, just ask.” She stood from the chair and began towards the door that led into the home.
“Actually, do you know where Downey Lane is?”
“Sure do, it’s not far. If you pull out of here and make a left onto the main road, Downey Lane is down about ten minutes on your right.”
“Great, thank you.”
“Enjoy your day Ms. Fotelli. Let me know if I can do
anything for you.”
“Thanks Lisa.” She smiled, “have a good day.”
The other guests began to trickle down the stairs within the hour. Gina moved her lounging to the beach where she remained for most of the morning reading her book and taking in the sun. The staff waited on her like she was a queen. First bringing her a full breakfast, then ice tea throughout the morning. It was heavenly to her and the perfect treat after such a hard few months.
The sun was beginning to beam stronger heat as the morning ran into the afternoon. Deciding it was time to save her skin from more UV damage, Gina climbed back up the sand and into the home.
“Hello, dear.” An older woman appearing to be in her late sixties dressed in a floral sundress and sandals greeted her.
“Hello.” Everything about this place made her slightly giddy. The smells, the smiles, the staff and of course the southern charm and accent were enough to convince her to stay longer than anticipated.
“We are still serving lunch in the dining room if you would care for some sandwiches.” She said pointing down the hall.
“Thank you. I am going to head out for lunch today.”
“Will you be joining us for dinner this evening?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Enjoy your day, dear.”
Gina looked back to the women with a nod of reciprocation, and then continued on through to the front of the house.
Nineteen
The thick southern air felt as if it was sticking to her skin as she made her way off the front porch and to her car. She opened the car door to a wave of hot air rolling out at her. She got in, turned the ignition and cracked her windows letting the thick air escape. She picked her planner up off the passengers seat and opened it to “F”. 2728 Downey Lane. She stared at the black ink.
“This is logical G.” She let the voices in her head battle over whether or not this idea to just show up at his house was insane, needed, wise or irrational. Nothing came to resolve, only chaos continued to fill her mind.
She flipped her visor down taking a long look at herself in the mirror. The reflection it showed on the outside didn’t mirror the battle of emotions floating around on the inside. She looked natural and glowing after her morning in the relaxing sun. She wanted to scold herself for the irrational thoughts she was having about showing up at his house. Instead, she flipped the visor back up, put her car into gear and pulled out towards the main road.
Fifteen minutes of silence and empty thoughts later a small green sign came into her view on the right side of the street. Before her mind could compute the words written on it in white letters her car had already began to make the turn. Downey Lane. Downey Lane. Downey Lane. Everything around her suddenly seemed to be standing still or at least moving in slow motion. She could hear her heart pounding hard into her chest and her breath coming up and out of her body, and then back in again. Now, so aware of her own existence but so blind to the reality living in her body, she felt as if it could be a distinct possibility that she would soon wake up in her bed at Lilly’s. It was as if she had no control over herself as well as a lack of ability to react to what was taking shape in front of her.
What in God’s name am I doing?
Catching the numbers out of the corner of her eye, she worked towards his house number, 2685, 2691, 2724, 2726, 2728 Downey Lane. The numbers 2728 seemed to have slapped her across the face as she stared them down on Grant’s mailbox. Emptiness and a dull hum where floating through her mind consuming her senses.
She pulled her car along the sidewalk across from his home. She turned off her ignition and sat immobilized in her seat watching the world around the place in which he lived.
“What are you doing here?” She asked herself out loud. “You can’t just go knock
on his door!” Her heart was pounding quicker with each thump; her breath had succumbed to her nerves shortening each inhale. She gazed at his home speculating what his life may be like there. What his life with Sarah was like. Did they spend warm nights on the front stoop looking over the neighborhood? Gina looked around at the street and for a minute, pictured herself living there, as part of Grant’s life. She thought about whom on the street they would be friends with and what their end of the workweek Friday nights would be like. She escaped into a mini fantasy of them taking lengthy strolls up the road to
Lilly’s
and checking into a room after a long romantic dinner on the patio.
Her fantasy abruptly cut-off as her mind and body seemed to separate themselves. She got out of her car and began the walk across the street and up his drive to his front door, all the while battling the voice of reason inside her head. Lifting her hand up, making a fist, she lightly pounded it against the door. The street was empty and quiet with not a noise to be heard except for the chirping of the birds and a light whistle from the wind rustling the tree leaves. Gina became very aware of the stillness around her and the fact that the street was oddly quiet for mid-day on the weekend. She wondered if she was in fact dreaming. A few moments passed. No answer. Slightly relieved, she turned away and began walking down the steps she had come up a few moments before.
The sound of the front door opening caught her dead in her tracks. Gina’s body quickly froze so tight she wasn’t sure she would be able to breath.
“Can I help you?” His voice trailed off as he realized who was standing on his walkway. He took a few steps out the door to get a closer look.
Taking a moment to collect his thoughts and his words, Grant beamed into the back of the last person he expected to see at his home. “Gina, hi."
Gina slowly turned her body around feeling exposed and captured by her actions. She could feel her body heat up and her mind race as she took in the landscape of him. He was dressed in dark jeans and a tight white v-neck t-shirt that hugged his defined chest. Her mind sped from one thought to the next wandering as far as the last time they made love. She shook away the thoughts that were doing nothing more than adding fog to her already cluttered mind. “Hi. Surprise!” She lost her balance as she took a step up towards him on the walkway that led to his front door. He reached out to her, helping her regain her position.
“You okay?”
“Sure. Yeah. Hi,” she blurted. She looked around the street making sure no one was watching them. Her head felt foggy and confused as she realized how un-organic this all was. Her mind and body were not one anymore as she couldn’t find an ounce of normalcy or balance left in her.
“What are you doing here?” He looked puzzled and curious by her appearance, but mostly concerned.
“I was in the area, and, and, I wanted to stop by and say hello.” She said, with a half awkward smile slowly forming across her face. She wondered how red her face appeared considering the unbearable heat that flushed through it. Her voice shaking, cutting quickly into each word she attempted to speak. “So, hello!” She smiled large trying to disguise the fact that every morsel of her body was shaking with nerves.
“Oh. Ah, come on in.” He rubbed his head with his hands in a daze. He stared at her, allowing his eyes to lock to hers. The stare down didn’t create one ounce of hesitation as he looked to her for answers to his confusion.
“Is she here?” Gina asked interrupting his thoughts. She decided it was an immature and unfair question. And stupid, of course. Why wouldn’t she be here? She should be here. She lives here. There should not have been a question of whether or not
she
was here, the better question was why Gina was here.
“Who?” Grant continued to stare deep into her eyes as his heart bumped in and out of his chest. He swallowed hard.
“Sarah.” Saying her name quivered Gina’s lips. She pressed them together tightly trying not to make it obvious.
“Yeah, she’s upstairs.” He paused. His mind went blank and the emotion of the situation suddenly escaped him. Something about Gina’s presence had no doubt made him nervous and unsure, but it was followed by a wave of calmness. “It’s okay, she would love to meet you.”
Was that true?
Of course not!
The idea of Gina walking into his home colliding with Sarah became a reality he wasn’t sure how to handle. He was certain Sarah would be nothing but cordial and kind, even offering Gina some tea. It was Grant who wouldn’t know how to act.
“She would love to meet me? What? Why?” Gina immediately wiped the look off her face that she imagined looked closer to a pissed off teenager than a mature adult.
“It’s okay,” he replied.
No it wasn’t.
Grant realized this was one of the few times in his life were he was truly lost for words or actions.
“I don’t think so Grant, can we go somewhere else?”
“Yeah, sure.” He replied in relief for the out she had just given him. He ran inside shouted a few words up the stairs and grabbed the ring of keys that sat on a table next to the bottom of the staircase. The thoughts flying through his head coincided with the rush in his body to get himself to Gina as quick as he could. He pulled the front door to a close behind him, using his other arm to grab Gina and bring her into him. He held her tight, the same way he had a million times before.
“What are you doing here?”
In an instant, he had returned to the Grant she knew and remembered. It put her at ease. “Is there somewhere we can go talk?”
“There is a school a few blocks that way,” he replied pointing in the distance. His natural reaction led him to try to grab her hand. He quickly realized the hazard of that and rerouted them into his pockets. “You okay? You don’t look so good.” They began walking down the uneven sidewalk towards the school in the distance.
Gina looked down to the grass that was growing wildly out of the cracks in the sidewalk. “Yeah, I’m fine. Really.” She took in a deep breath and enjoyed the air around them. They continued to walk in silence both feeling the anxiety that sat between them.
“So…what are you doing in North Carolina?”
“I just needed to get away.”
“Everything okay?”
“Yes. Actually, it is.” She said, pausing to collect her words. She lightly grabbed his forearm stopping their walk. “I’m sorry for leaving things the way I did that day. I was so mad at you. But you were right, I needed to leave Adam for me, not for you.” She spit the words out as quickly as they came to her head. That was why she was here after all. She needed to make it right. She needed to apologize for, well, she wasn’t even really sure. She just knew she needed to tie up that loose end.