Authors: Joya Ryan
~
“Thanks for coming to get Simon today,” Tim said as he rummaged through the papers on his desk. “I need to close this sale and Grace is out shopping. She’ll pick him up in about an hour.”
“
It’s no problem.” I ruffled Simon’s hair and tried to keep the distaste out of my voice. I loved spending time with Simon, but hated conversing with the man in front of me.
“
Simon, go see if Sue has some candy.” Tim motioned to his secretary and Simon went running.
My uncle
’s dark gaze landed on me. I balled my fingers into fists at my sides and focused on keeping the anxiety from rising. I wasn’t surprised he’d figured out a way to get me alone. He knew I’d come. All he had to do was say, “Simon,” and I’d be there.
“
What is the situation with you and Adam Kinkade?”
I almost choked
on my own spit. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”
His desk was between us.
He leaned forward, teeth clenched. “It is when our companies are competing.”
Ah. N
ow it made sense. Adam did have a lot of real estate in Chicago and his reach, wealth, and power far exceeded my uncle Tim’s.
“
Well?” He glared at me.
“
Well, what? You guys do what you do. I’m not a part of your business dealings.”
“
What the hell are you doing with him, anyway? You realize he dates models, right?” I tried not to let that sting as much as it did. “What does a guy like that want with you?”
I clenched my teeth. It wasn
’t my anxiety I was worried about anymore, it was my rage.
“
Obviously this guy has other motives.”
“
You think Adam is using me to get to you somehow?” Adam didn’t need to hide behind anyone. I scoffed and turned to leave.
“
Hey,” Tim called after me. “Do you even know anything about him? The guy is unstable. He has big fucking issues.”
I
faced him fully and crossed my arms over my chest. “We all have issues.”
“
Does he know about yours?”
I grit
ted my teeth. This was negative reinforcement at its finest. My aunt and Tim had always treated me as if I were my mother. Except when he wasn’t busy eyeing me and using every excuse to either grope or degrade me. Once I had thought the same thing about myself, too. Thought maybe I was just like my mother. But little by little, that fear was fading.
“I’m fine. He’s fine. There’s no need to concern yourself,” I snapped.
“
Adam Kinkade is not fine. He’s dangerous.”
“
No, he’s not.”
“
Oh? Did you know that his own stepfather kicked him to the curb because Adam almost killed him?”
I recalled the
article I had read. It had said that after Adam’s mother died, his stepfather had raised him for a couple of years, but then he went into foster care for “unknown reasons.”
No. No way woul
d Adam try to kill someone. I have stared white rage in the face. I knew what it looked like, what it felt like, to be in the hands of someone who wanted to kill you. Adam wasn’t that way.
I
didn’t dignify Tim’s accusation with a response. I walked out, picked up Simon at reception, and took him with me. These days, the only thing I liked about my aunt and uncle was that little boy…and that was about it.
~
Grace had just picked up Simon. I hung his latest drawing of a kangaroo on my refrigerator and grabbed an apple. Biting into my late snack, I powered up my laptop and went to work on my thesis. About an hour into it, my phone rang.
Kink.
“Well, hello there.”
“
Katelyn.” His tone was dry and quick and made me feel like I was in trouble. “I’d like to see you in my office immediately.”
“
Ah…why?”
“
We need to have a discussion.”
“
O-okay. I’ll be there in about twenty minutes.”
“
Good.”
The line went dead and so did my breathing. Whatever was going on was not good
. Tim’s words replayed in my head.
Adam Kinkade dates models…what does he see in you…
My hands began to shake.
I couldn’t help feeling that I was on the verge of being dumped.
~
“Have a seat.” Adam motioned to the chair across the desk.
“
I’ll stand.” I was not about to play Master and Commander if he was just going to break up with me anyway. It took every effort I had to remain calm, and I was still failing miserably.
“
It’s rude to discuss business when one party stands.”
“
Business?”
He glared
at me. He obviously wasn’t going to say anything until I sat, so I did. He leaned forward, all powerful and domineering, staring me down as though I had just insulted his grandmother.
“
I’m going to tear down the apartment complexes.”
“
What?” My voice raised an octave. “We talked about this a while ago. I told you my mother lives there.”
“
Yes. Which is why I am more driven than ever to expunge that shitty part of town.”
My brain was rattling with his words.
“But you said she wouldn’t be homeless.”
“
There is a women’s shelter right down the street,” he snarled. What had happened? Where was my sweet, wonderful Adam?
“
How can you say that? Do that?”
He tossed a manila folder across the desk and it landed in front of me. I opened it and when I saw what was in it, I almost vomited.
My medical records.
Page after page documenting every time I
’d gone to the hospital for injuries. Then there were the photos…
“
Where did you get this? These are my personal,
private
medical records.”
“
Do you know how much money I have?” he asked with all the smugness in the world. “It really can buy anything.”
I shoved the folder back at him.
“You had no right to do that. How would you like it if someone went digging around in your medical records?”
“
Impossible,” he stated.
“
You can’t do this.”
“
Yes, I can.”
“
No, you can’t! This is my private life.”
“
I gave you plenty of time to talk to me. Confide in me about what had happened to you and who hurt you. But you refused. So I found out on my own.”
“
Adam, did it ever occur to you that I didn’t want to talk about this because it’s not fun for me?”
“
I need to know these things, Katelyn.”
“
Why do you need to know?”
“
So I can protect you.”
“
I can take care of myself.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I would have told you. Despite how awful and painful it is, I would have shared every secret and recounted every detail if that’s what you wanted.”
“
Then why didn’t you?”
“
Because you never give me anything back. I took the leap, Adam. I stood in front of you with all my faults and scars bared. But you haven’t shared one thing about your past with me.”
“
That’s different, Katelyn.”
My temper flared.
“Bullshit. You don’t just get to play God and decide things based on how it best suits you.”
“
I do when my property is involved.”
I looked down at my stomach because it felt like Adam had just run a knife through my gut.
I wanted to scream. To cry. Why he was doing this?
“
Are you trying to hurt me? Rub it in that you’re kicking my mom out of her home? Going back on your word to me? That’s so sick.”
“
No!” He slammed his hand on his desk and I jumped. “
This
is sick!”
He held up a
photo. A close-up of my face when I was eleven, bloodied and broken. That had been one of the worst. I still felt my mother’s nails sink into my skin like claws as she screamed at me. Hating me. Trying to cut the skin from my cheekbones and tear apart my face with her bare hands.
“
I don’t know how you can care about someone who did this to you, but I sure as hell won’t.” His eyes were the darkest I had ever seen them. His breathing was coming quicker. Adam Kinkade was irate.
I took a deep breath and tried t
o take a mental step back. I wasn’t used to being the calm one in a situation, but now it looked like I had no choice.
He was
all worked up and for what? Me? In his own way, he was protecting me. Attempting to save me from something that had been done. A raw anger seeped from him. I recognized it because I had felt it for most of my childhood. But I was an adult now, and with that came responsibility.
“
She’s my mother, Adam.”
His face went stark.
He came around the desk and stood before me. I rose to meet him. When I did, he cupped my face in his palms and kissed me. Hard. Angry. I knew his intentions were good, but sometimes he set about things in a backward way. I was learning to combat this with the only thing I could.
The truth.
“I want to do something, Katelyn,” he rasped against my mouth. “I want to fix this. Make her pay for the hurt she’s caused you.”
I never
would have thought Adam capable of losing his control. Standing there in his arms, I felt the heat of his rage. I was getting a glimpse of the side he refused to show me, and it was dark. A raw ache drifted off of him like morning fog along the water. That thick hatred that developed only through utter anger and shame.
I wasn
’t the only one running from a terrible past. Adam was, too.
“
Is that how you feel about your stepfather?” The words came out before I even realized I had spoken them.
I
hadn’t said it to be mean. I wanted to know him. He demanded the truth from me, and I’d give it. But I wanted him in return. Wanted to be a source of good in his life that he could turn to.
He dropped his hands and
stepped away from me. Shock plagued his handsome face. He forced me to deal with my issues head on. It was his turn to unburden himself, and I wanted to comfort him.
“
What the fuck does that mean?” he demanded.
“
After your mother died…you lived with him for two years before foster care.”
“
I see you’ve been reading Wikipedia.”
“
At least I didn’t steal your medical records.”
“
My past is not a topic of conversation. Ever.”
“
How can you demand all this from me? Throw pictures in my face, have me relive everything that happened, and stand there and tell me you won’t do the same? I’ve been honest with you, Adam. Yet you give me nothing.”
“
Let this go, Katelyn.”
“
Did you try to kill him?”
He grinned. Grinned!
“Yes. I did.”
“
W-why?”
For a brief moment, pain
trekked Adam’s face. But then it was replaced by a mask of rage. Whatever his stepfather had done to him—
I remembered the first night I had spent with him. When I woke him and he gripped my wrist…
Bile rose to my throat and I resisted the urge to cover my mouth. I threaded all the signs together and it began making sense. Adam’s need for control. Dominance. The way he’d reacted to taking my virginity. The blood…
Whatever expression I
wore made Adam’s fit of anger skyrocket. “Don’t you dare pity me!” he snarled. “Whatever the fuck it is you’re thinking, you’re wrong and you need to stop.”
I didn
’t say anything, but then again, I didn’t have to. He had told me twice now that my face seemed to give away my thoughts.
“
Adam, nothing will change how I feel about you.” I reached for him, but he moved away.
“
We’re done here,” he growled.
He led me to the door and opened it. He damn near had to push me through it before he closed it, and me, off.
My mind raced and I realized several things had just happened. Adam’s past was much more painful than I’d ever imagined, and I had no idea how to help him.
He had made it clear that he didn
’t want me right now. Maybe not ever, after this.
When the elevator took me down, I sat alone in the c
ar and cried. Cried for Adam, cried for myself, and cried for our obviously doomed relationship.