Bracing the Blue Line (14 page)

We've gotten to a good place I think as she tells Lucy about the upcoming run. The first intermission has passed and let me tell you, it's hilarious listening to Grant explain the game to Lucy. The girl gets frustrated quickly when she doesn't pick it up right away. Maddie seems to have made a new friend in Lucy, too, which is pretty cool. After Lucy and Grant leave to go buy drinks, Maddie turns towards me.

“I think I just talked her into running the 5K with me,” she smiles with excitement. “You should do it with us too.”

“I don't know. That's pretty advance planning. Something else might come up.” There's no way I want to do that with her. She is a little faster than I am, according to only one race between us, and I wouldn't be able to survive a 5K. Not because of the running, but because I would have to see her half-naked, February or not, with her hair up in a tight ponytail, swinging as she runs, and little sprigs falling to hang around her face by the time she's finished. I don't need to see her ass or her tits either.

Nope. Not happening.

“It's first thing in the morning, Winston. Just say you don't want to do it.”

“I don't want to do it,” I say.

“Fine. You can study with me tomorrow before your game then. I have a test soon, and I want to be prepared.”

“I'll be there,” I promise. I have no clue why she's not doing well in this class because she knows the material inside and out. She might have test anxiety. Maybe we'll work on that instead of actually studying. My eyes travel over her features as she faces the ice once more. One thing that I haven't been able to surpass is how gorgeous she is. Maddie still invades my dreams in the hottest ways. It's ridiculous.

“They are so adorable,” she gushes, placing her hand on my thigh to get my attention. On the ice are a bunch of little kids, playing a quick game before the intermission is over. “I don't think you could have been that cute when you were younger.”

I laugh as I move so Lucy and Grant can squeeze back over to their seats, handing us our bottles of drinks on the way. The second intermission starts and I lean towards Maddie.

“Are you picking up on Grant's explanations?”

She shakes her head without looking away from the action. “I'm not listening. I want to watch and absorb the awesomeness. I don't need or want to know anything else. Ooooh!” Maddie sits up straight as a fight breaks out down below on the ice. Her eyes are captivated by the few punches that get thrown in before the refs break them up and ship them off to the penalty box. “God, that was sort of, kind of, really hot.” She turns to Lucy. “Don't you think?”

Lucy blushes, shakes her head, and mumbles a 'no'. I'm not so sure that I understand what Grant sees in her, which would aid his 'she's only a friend' line. I don't think boys and girls can be
just
friends. Wait, let me correct myself. They can be friends, but someone is wishing they weren't. Like myself right now, for example. My mind is occupied more with Maddie than the game.

Which is crazy and wrong and bad, but it's the truth, so no need to deny it to myself. From the corner of my eye, I watch Maddie watch the game. She moves to the edge of her seat, entranced by almost goals, or jumps up with a goal, no matter which team scored. And then, sometimes, she's leaning back in her seat, looking bored almost. During the third period, I decide to see if she's actually enjoying herself or not.

“Having fun?” I ask.

Maddie looks over at me. “Yeah, mostly. Not really a sports-watching kind of girl.” With a grin, she adds, “I definitely like seeing you play, though.”

I shake my head. What am I supposed to say to that? The game ends quickly it seems and we're on our way back to campus to drop the girls off. Maddie and Lucy are making plans to hang out soon. Grant walks Lucy to her dorm while Maddie and I head towards hers.

“Thanks for tonight, Winston,” she says.

“You're welcome. You still want me to come over tomorrow?” Maddie nods. “Okay, I'll be here after practice.” My phone starts vibrating in my pocket, so I pull it out.

“Let me guess? It's your other half,” she deadpans, almost annoyed with me.

I laugh. “Yeah, it's Dave.”

“I swear, y'all talk more than girls. Better let you go. Heaven forbid he finds out I'm with you,” she finishes as we reach the door. “Thanks again.” Maddie stands on her tiptoes, but I lean down to help her out as she places a soft kiss on my cheek. And then she's walking away before I can comment on what she said.

Swiping my finger over the screen, Dave appears. “You sure are spending a lot of time outside.”

“Leave me alone. Just got back from a game and I'm about to head home. Did you decide when you're coming up yet?”

“No, not yet. My woman says I've already committed a weekend to her, but I apparently forgot about it. I'm having to wait for her to quit being angry before I pick a weekend.”

“Your woman?” I laugh. “You can't say her name or something?”

Dave shrugs. “She likes when I call her that.”

I shake my head as I come up on Grant's truck, where he's already waiting. “I gotta go. Maybe you should call your woman.”

“LOOK WHO FINALLY decided to show up,” Maddie snaps as soon as I open the room to her dorm.

“Sorry. I'm here now,” I try, feeling a little unsure of myself. I've never seen a pissed off Maddie. Practice ran super late because Vincent pissed off Coach.

“You couldn't have texted that you would be late?” She picks up her pillow at the head of the bed and then throws it down again in anger. Before I can answer, she keeps on ranting. “A text only takes five seconds, Winston. It doesn't matter anyway. I'm not in the mood to study or be around you today. Might as well leave.”

What? She wants me to leave because I was late? Her tone pisses me off a little. “What the hell is going on with you? Are you PMSing or something?”

Maddie turns around slowly, the fury rolling off her in tsunami-sized waves. “Are you an idiot, Winston?” she yells. “You're seriously going to ask if I'm PMSing?!” She picks up a pillow and throws it at me, but I catch it easily.

“Well? Are you?”

Her shoulders sag. “Maybe.”

I walk over and hand her the pillow. She clutches it to her chest and sits down on the bed. Following suit, I lean over to press a soft kiss to her temple because kisses make everything better, right? “Do you want me to go?”

“Yeah, I don't want to yell at you for no reason. Plus, I have to go to the store.”

“I'll go. What do you need?” I ask, despite the sinking feeling in my stomach over what she's going to say.

She gives me an “are you serious?” look. “Don't worry, Winston. I can go.”

Shaking my head at her, I insist, “Write down exactly what it is you need and I'll go get it.” Reaching around her, I grab the sticky notepad and a pen from her nightstand. “Here.”

Maddie doesn't argue as she writes down her preferred product. God, what has happened to me? I'm
offering
to go buy
tampons
. She didn't even have to ask me! She hands me the paper, and I look over her girly, loopy handwriting.

“Thanks, Winston,” she says softly, kissing my cheek.

I give her a smile. “Yeah, yeah. I'll be back and when I do, you're studying, so get your ass in gear.”

She rolls her eyes and pushes my shoulder playfully. On my way out, I notice her stack of Gobstoppers are low. The drug store is surprisingly scarce of people. I find the candy first and grab three boxes. That has to soften her up if she's still irritated when I return. I make my way to the correct aisle and look down at my sticky note and then back at the shelves upon shelves of feminine products.

Damn. Who knew there were so many brands and so many different kinds. I find the brand name first and then go down the line until I find the ones she wants. My hand reaches out and grabs it quickly. Now I can get the hell out of here.

“Winston?”

Fuck. I turn around to see Neil, a smile rising on his face as he spots the tampons and candy.

“What are you up to?” he asks, walking closer and I want to punch that grin off his face.

“I'm shopping, dumbass.”

“Tampons? I didn't know you needed those.”

“Are you done?” I'm in no mood to hear his crap. Shouldn't he be working or sleeping or something?

He smirks. “Why? Do you have somewhere you need to be?”

“Fuck you, Neil,” I mutter, turning around and leaving his laughter behind. It's a girl at the cashier, which makes me feel a little better, especially when she makes a comment that I must be a great boyfriend. Her mouth parts in surprise when I tell her I'm only doing this for a friend.

There's an odd sense of satisfaction with my completed task as I return to Maddie's dorm. She's laying on her back on her bed. I set the bag down on the nightstand and sit next to her. The corners of her mouth lift slightly.

“I have a surprise for you.”

“Really?” Maddie sits up, excited about what I might have for her.

“Mhm.” I reach into the bag, grabbing a box of candy. When it makes some noise, a full-blown grin appears on her face.

“You certainly know how to make a girl happy,” she says, taking it from me and ripping it open.

“Yeah, I guess so,” I answer, not sure how to respond to her words. Maybe she doesn't realize she said it. After popping a few Gobstoppers into her mouth, she gets up with the bag and disappears into the bathroom. Her books are on her desk, so I grab them before laying on my stomach on the bed. “Where's your roommate?” I question when she returns. She's never here.

“I don't know. We aren't really friends.” Maddie lays next to me and rests her head on my shoulder. Her eyes focus on the books. “I hate this class.”

“Why? What are the tests like? I've been meaning to ask because you know this stuff, Maddie.”

“Fill in the blank and essay. I can't ever remember the key terms once I get started, and without them, I can't answer much.”

“Well, let's work on that.”

While we work on test taking strategies, Maddie keeps bumping her foot into mine, her head still on my shoulder. Two hours pass with her next to me before I have to leave. We've got a game tonight.

“Just remember to relax and do what I've told ya. I gotta get going. We have away games this weekend, so you'll have to survive without me.”

Maddie rolls her eyes. “I'm sure I'll do just fine. If not, send me some half naked pictures to get me through.” She winks and I chuckle, shaking my head.

“OKAY, HERE'S THE deal. I don't have long before I have to be at the rink for tonight and then I'm booked all weekend. I'm so fucking behind on homework, so I brought my books. We're going to have to multitask,” I tell Audra, taking a seat at her kitchen table, which is already filled with textbooks.

“That's fine. It's what I'm doing too.” She frowns as she gazes at me. “You look exhausted, Neil.”

I give her a half smile. “Once I get into more of a routine, then it won't be so bad. How are you doing?”

Audra groans. “People are noticing now, and it's making me feel like a cow. I wish you would gain weight too. But I'm feeling pretty good and she keeps moving around.” Audra places her hand on her stomach, smiling. “Do you want to feel?” she asks, lifting her head.

The more I'm over here, the better we get along. I think Audra is actually warming up to me. I mean, she just asked if I would like to touch her stomach. She was super surprised when I first asked, and now she's basically offering. That's progress. Nodding, I reach out, placing my hand where hers just was, but I don't feel anything. It's honestly a bit of a disappointment. Why does Audra get to experience this all the time and for me, it's all about luck? Being in the right place at the right time. She moves my hand a few times before I finally feel the movement.

“It never fails to be amazing,” I whisper.

“I know.” Audra takes a deep breath before adding, “We should get to work.” We start on the mountain of homework and talk here and there throughout. “Have you told your parents yet?”

“No, I don't really talk to them on a regular basis, so I was going to wait until they called.”

“Oh, do you have a good relationship with them?”

“Yeah, I guess,” I answer without looking up. That's the truth. I mean, they are parents. We don't sit around and talk about all our life problems. If I need them, they are usually there. They don't hover, aren't stern, and we don't argue, but it's kind of hard to argue when you barely talk. They raised me and shipped me off to college. That's pretty much it. Actually, it's a bit more complicated than that, but my current relationship with my parents is more my fault than theirs.

Once something is broken and more and more time passes, it's hard to remember how to piece it back together. It's difficult to see what things were like before, so much so that you feel like you aren't missing out on anything. Or even worse, that things are better now. That's my relationship with my parents. That's my life in general. I was destroyed four years ago, utterly obliterated, and life has been fine. Just fine. A word that should be erased because it holds nothing but an empty truth. Audra and this baby present a light at the end of this dark tunnel I've been on for so long. I have no choice but to go towards it.