Bound by Honor Bound by Love (12 page)

“
You might as well tell
me,” she softly said.

“
Tell you what?” She
couldn’t possibly know what the chief had in mind. He’d been
diligent to not give any hints about the matter.

She shrugged. “Whatever it is you
brought me out here to say.”

Her answer was far too vague for his
liking. He picked up on the hint of sorrow in her voice and the way
she crossed her arms to emotionally distance herself from him. He
didn’t like her reaction to him. It couldn’t be about the chief’s
announcement. Was there something else that bothered her? Shifting
from one foot to the other, he asked, “Is something upsetting
you?”

He didn’t think she was going to
answer, and by the way her jaw clenched, he suspected she didn’t
want to. Avoiding eye contact, she turned her attention to the
river and didn’t speak for a long moment. When she finally spoke,
he barely heard her. “Who did you choose?”

His eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t know
what you mean.”

“
The woman who’ll be your
second wife so you can have more children. Who did you
choose?”

It took him a moment to understand
what she meant. “No, I will not take another wife.”

She looked at him then and a part of
her relaxed. “You won’t?”

“
No,” he softly
replied.

An emotion he wasn’t comfortable with
struggled to come to the surface of his controlled exterior when he
realized she was relieved. He wanted to take her in his arms and
assure her that he’d never take a second wife. He didn’t want to be
with anyone but her, and after knowing how vulnerable he could be
during the times they’d been intimate, there was no way he could
open himself to someone else the way he’d opened himself to her. It
was too frightening and wonderful at the same time.

“
If it’s not that, then
what is it?” she asked, lowering her arms in a gesture he
understood to mean she wasn’t closing herself off to him anymore…at
least not until she found out what he was going to tell
her.

Letting out a weary sigh, he decided
he better get to it. Waiting wasn’t going to make things better.
“The chief will make an announcement to the men tomorrow, and,” he
shook his head, “I’m sorry, Onawa. There’s nothing I can do. He is
determined that it must be this way. He had a dream, and you
understand how important dreams are.”

“
What is the
announcement?”

He swallowed. “All the white men and
women must leave the tribe.”

“
Why?”

“
The chief wants to
replenish our numbers, and the white people are coming in and
having children with our people. This is making it impossible to
bring our tribe back to the way it was before the Smallpox
outbreak. What he wants is to preserve our way of life.”

He paused and waited for her response,
wondering if she would hate him or if she would understand and
accept what would happen. She didn’t answer him right away. Her
gaze went to the Missouri River.

“
Onawa?” he softly
asked.

When she turned to face him, there
were tears in her eyes. “I’m going to lose my family?”

Her words stung him as if an arrow had
found its way into his heart. “Am I and the child you carry not
your family?”

“
Of course, you are, but
what about my father and my sister? What about my
nieces?”

“
Your father can
stay—”

She shook her head. “No, he can’t.
He’s going to marry Erin.”

“
Julia’s aunt?”

“
Yes. And she’s white. That
means he must leave to be with her. I already know he’ll go because
he didn’t love my mother. He cared about my mother, but he never
loved her. He married her because she had the sacred bundle. It was
an arrangement.”

“
But if he cared about her,
isn’t that good?”

A tear slid down her cheek, and she
quickly brushed it away. “Do you think so little of
love?”

“
This isn’t about love.
It’s about what’s good for the tribe.”

“
No, no it’s not! Making
people leave who’ve helped us is not good for the tribe. How is
sending Gary away good for the tribe? It’s because of him you were
able to bring back supplies we needed to make it through the
winter. We didn’t have enough on our own. And how is losing Chogan
who provides food for three lodges good for the tribe?”

“
You don’t understand. The
chief is trying to protect our identity. Our sacred bundles, our
traditions, our ceremonies… They don’t mean what they used to.” He
sighed, knowing she could only think of the people she was about to
lose and knowing she had every right to be upset.

“
Our sacred bundles, our
traditions, our ceremonies? That’s all that matters to
you?”

“
No, it’s not,” he
whispered, stung by her words. How could she think that when he had
refused to take a second wife?

“
Then don’t do it,” she
demanded, her voice uncharacteristically sharp.

“
It’s not that
easy.”

“
Of course, it is! You just
don’t want to do it because it would require you to do something
the chief doesn’t want. All you care about is the chief. If he
wants something, you do it. And right now, you’re forcing out good
people who’ve helped our tribe because it’s what he
wants.”

He winced. “Onawa, it’s not like
that.”

“
I’m not stupid. I can see
what’s going on.” After a moment of silence, she shot him a
pleading look. “Don’t do this, Citlali. You know it’s not the best
thing for our people.”

“
You mean it’s not the best
thing for you.” Her lower lip trembled, and he regretted saying
those words to her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said
that.”

“
You think I don’t want
what’s best for the tribe because I don’t want to force out the
white people?”

“
I know you want what’s
best for the tribe. It’s why you’re a good wife for me.”

She frowned, and he immediately wished
he hadn’t said those words either. It wasn’t exactly what he meant.
She was a good wife, but her wish for the good of the tribe wasn’t
the only reason she was. He struggled to think of a better way to
state his case, to explain more fully what she meant to him, but
the words wouldn’t come.

“
I need to be alone,” she
said in a way that made him wonder whether she’d stay in his lodge
or not.

When she walked away from him, he
never felt more alone in his entire life.

Chapter Ten

“
I can’t believe he’s doing
this,” Onawa cried into the handkerchief Julia handed
her.

“
He’s not doing it. The
chief is,” Woape said.

The three sat in the grass, away from
the lodges. Onawa had to talk to her sister and Julia about what
she’d just learned. She understood the chief would make the
announcement the next day, so she hadn’t felt right about telling
everyone. But Woape and Julia were two people she was close to who
would understand why she was upset by the news. Usually, she’d want
to tell Amata, too, but considering she was Citlali’s sister, she
didn’t feel right in putting Amata in the middle of
this.

“
You can’t blame Citlali,”
Woape softly replied.

Onawa shook her head as she wiped her
tears from her cheeks. “He didn’t tell him no.”

Julia put her arm around Onawa’s
shoulders. “It’s not as easy as that, Onawa. Chogan and I have had
enough dealings with the chief and Citlali to know that the chief
manipulates things so that Citlali doesn’t have a
choice.”

“
If Citlali cared, he
wouldn’t give in, no matter how the chief manipulates things to his
advantage,” Onawa replied, her tone turning cold. “Citlali’s
brother is right. Citlali’s first love is his duty to the chief. No
one else matters.”

Woape’s eyebrows furrowed in concern.
“It’s not like you to say things like this.”

“
But how can I not say
these things when I’m going to lose you, our father, and Julia?”
Onawa protested. “Surely, you won’t allow Gary to leave with your
children. I won’t see my nieces anymore. And Julia is white, so she
can’t stay. Then Father will leave because he just asked Erin to
marry him, and she said yes.”

“
I doubt Father and my aunt
Erin would have stayed in the tribe anyway,” Julia said. “Chogan’s
halfway done with our cabin, and Erin and I would like to live
close to each other. Even as we speak, your father and Chogan have
been thinking of building another cabin close to where Chogan and I
will be.”

This news made Onawa cry even harder.
While she knew Julia and Chogan planned to leave the tribe during
the summer, she had no idea her father would leave with Erin. She
assumed Erin would stay in the tribe with him.

Woape sighed. “Onawa, life as we know
it is changing, and there’s nothing we can do about it. The Mandans
will never be the way they once were. But it doesn’t mean our
affiliation with the white man is wrong. Whether someone is white
or Mandan makes little difference. People are people.”

“
I know that,” Onawa
replied, wondering why her sister felt the need to explain
this.

“
But the chief doesn’t,”
Woape softly stated.

“
I’m not talking about the
chief. I’m talking about Citlali. How could he stand by the chief
while family and friends are being forced out of the
tribe?”

Julia and Woape glanced at each other
before Julia said, “It’s not as easy as it seems, Onawa. Chogan
spent enough time with Citlali to understand that Citlali doesn’t
agree with everything the chief does, but since he’s the chief,
Citlali must follow his leading. When Citlali becomes chief, he can
do things differently.”

“
But will he?” Onawa
pressed.

“
I think so,” Julia
replied.

Onawa wanted to believe her friend,
but didn’t know if she could.

“
Why don’t you ask him what
he’d do if he was leading the tribe?” Woape suggested, her voice
soft.

“
I don’t see how it would
do any good,” Onawa replied. “He could lie to tell me what I want
to hear.”

“
We both know that Citlali
doesn’t lie.”

Though Woape meant well, Onawa thought
she missed the point. If Citlali couldn’t stand up to the chief
now, how could he stand up to others in the tribe who were older
than him and didn’t like the way he did things? Even if she didn’t
approve of what the chief was doing, there was no denying that he
was determined to do things as he saw fit. He didn’t let the
opinion of others sway him. But Citlali let the chief’s opinion
direct his course, even though it meant that some of the people
they needed in the tribe would have to leave.

The sound of gentle footsteps brought
Onawa’s attention to the person approaching them. She thought it
might be Citlali, and in some strange way it would have made her
feel better about everything since it meant he cared enough to seek
her out. But it was Amata.

Her gaze shifted from Onawa to Woape
to Julia before it went back to Onawa. “When I saw Citlali come to
the lodge without you, I thought something was wrong. Onawa, are
you alright?”

Onawa sighed. She didn’t know what to
tell Amata. At any other time, she’d tell her everything, but Amata
had no one close to her she’d lose when the chief made his
announcement and she was Citlali’s sister. She’d most likely agree
that Citlali was right in following the chief. And why shouldn’t
she? He was her brother.

“
I’m fine, Amata,” Onawa
replied.

“
We’re just talking,” Woape
added. “She’ll be at the lodge soon.”

Amata hesitated for a moment but
nodded and headed back to the tribe.

Onawa knew she’d have to explain why
she didn’t confide in her like she usually did, and there was no
denying the sting of guilt she felt at turning Amata away. With a
heavy sigh, she brought her knees up to her chest and rested her
forehead on them.

“
We’ll be alright,” Woape
told her, rubbing her back in the same manner their mother used to
do when they were children and needed comfort. “Gary knows a man
who owns the mercantile. He offered Gary a job working for him. He
deals with a lot of Indians and could use Gary to help him do
business. It might be a good thing for him.”

Onawa looked at her sister. “I didn’t
know he had an employment offer.”

“
He received it last week
and said he wouldn’t take it since Citlali needs him to help with
the trade, but the mercantile owner said the offer was open any
time he needed it.”

“
It sounds like he should
take it,” Julia commented.

Woape nodded. “I didn’t think so at
first, but after hearing this, it seems like the offer came at the
right time.”

“
Does that mean you’ll live
in Bismarck?” Onawa asked Woape.

“
Either we’ll live in town
or outside it,” she replied.

“
And will we get to see
each other?” Onawa looked at Julia. “Will we get to see each other,
too? I have no way of leaving this tribe without someone else. I
don’t know much of the white man’s language, and I don’t feel safe
traveling alone.”