Authors: Cynthia White
“Baby, what am I gonna do with all this?” I was completely overwhelmed when I opened the card from him and found a check for one hundred thousand dollars inside.
“You said you wanted some new clothes,” he replied casually, as if the check was for a hundred dollars or two.
Our daughter hadn’t left his arms all morning. I held her a few times - but once Boss got a hold of her, it was over. I loved the way he looked at her; I could have sat there and watched them all day. He was infatuated, and I knew the feeling: it was the same way I felt that day when he picked me up out of the rain; my life was never going to be the same, and I knew it. Boss looked at our daughter like he was having the same realization, and that made me so proud. No matter what he did out there on the streets, I knew I had a good man. He took care of me, he provided for me, and despite the violence that surrounded him every day, he kept me safe. Some women might have had a problem being known for being a nigga’s bitch, but I didn’t mind. I heard them whisper,
“There go Boss Bitch,”
and I smiled. I’d be that bitch, and I’d be her well. Fuck everybody else; Boss was all I needed. As long as I had him, our baby, my mother, and my little brothers and sister, I was set. They were my life, my source of joy, and my strength. As I watched one hold two while two held one’s heart in the palm of her tiny little hand, I sat in that hospital bed and counted my blessings..
“We have the prettiest li’l girl in the world.” Boss smiled at Malaysia, still not able to take his eyes off her. “She looks just like her mama.”
God, I loved him. I loved the way he touched me, the way he looked at me, and especially the way he spoke to me when we were alone. Once the business was handled and it was just me and him, he never held back. He would tell me how beautiful I was...I never had that before; nobody told me I was special before Boss. Nobody besides my mama had even told me they loved me. He had me dressing in expensive clothes, and that was great and all, but what he put underneath those clothes was even bettessas evener. Underneath, I had pride and self-esteem like I never had before. It made me want to take better care of myself. It made me want to eat healthier foods and hit the gym three times a week. I started reading books I never would have glanced twice at before. I was training for our future...I was preparing to be the queen my king deserved.
The only thing missing from that day was my brother. Anthony would have been such a good uncle. I thought about watching him hold my little girl, and just for a second I allowed myself to be sad. I had so much to be thankful for, but there would forever be an empty spot in my heart. No one would ever be able to take Ant’s place. I promised that if I ever gave birth to a son. I’d give him my little bro’s name: Anthony Malcolm Clark...I thought that had a nice ring to it.
“So dis where the party at?” Pee-Wee joked as he came through the door with pink flowers, pink balloons, and a giant pink teddy bear that was almost as big as he was.
“How you doin’, Meesh?” he asked while placing a gentle kiss on my cheek.
“I’m good, Pee-Wee. Thank you so much; these are beautiful.” I admired the beautiful bouquet of soft cream roses, pink carnations, and pink snapdragons.
“Look at this nigga.” He pointed at Boss. “Hoggin’ the baby already.”
“That’s right.” My man puffed his chest out proudly. “Nigga, I made this.”
I couldn’t do anything but laugh. They were a pair, but I loved them both. Pee-Wee had become a very important person in my life. I considered him my cousin as well. He was the yin to Boss’s yang; a more loyal soldier was never born. He looked out for me when Boss was away, and I knew he’d also look out for our daughter. That was just the kind of man he was.
“Meesh, tell yo ol’ stingy-ass babydaddy to let me hold the baby.” Pee-Wee sat down on the edge of my hospital bed and prepared for his turn with Malaysia.
“Babe, let Pee-Wee hold the baby,” I laughed. “He ain’t gonna run away with her.”
Boss walked over and gently placed Malaysia in his cousin’s massive arms. Pee-Wee was a big guy; he had to be at least six-foot-eight or nine. His weight was harder to calculate; he wasn’t fat, but he was most certainly solid. You didn’t fuck with Pee-Wee unless you wanted to get fucked up.
“Nigga, sit in the chair so I can sit next to my wife.” Boss joked; at least I
thought
he was joking. He called me ‘wifey’ all the time, but never his wife. I laughed like I did every time he made a joke – but he didn’t; this time, he wasn’t joking.
“I’m serious, Meesh.” He waited for Pee-Wee to move over to the chair beside my bed, then sat down right next to me. “I want you to marry me.”
I was speechless. We already lived together and had a child, but he still wanted to marry me. I didn’t know what I had done to deserve all the blessings that I was receiving, but I was thankful just the same. I wasn’t just going to be Boss’s bitch; I was going to be Boss’s
wife
.
“Okay,m">
The moment was perfect. We’d just welcomed a brand new baby into the world. Pee-Wee, one of the most important people in both our lives, was there. Then, right on cue, the door opened - and in walked my mother.
“Is this a bad time?”
“Not at all.” Boss put his arm around me and pulled me to his chest. “Yo daughter just agreed to be my wife. We’re gettin’ married.”
“Seriously?” Mama’s eyes doubled in size. “I’m so happy for you, baby.” She practically ran over and hugged me so tight, I thought the stitches from my C-section were going to pop. “I’m happy for both of you.” She went on to hug Boss with tears now flowing freely down her face. “Ya’ll don’t mind me; these here are happy tears. Not only do I have a new grandbaby to spoil, but now I also have a wedding to help plan.” She looked over at the tiny baby still in Uncle Pee-Wee’s arms. “Can I hold her?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Pee-Wee stood up slowly, then stepped to the side so my mother could sit. “Here you go.” He placed Malaysia into her grandmother’s waiting arms.
“She’s so beautiful.” Mama started to cry again. “She looks just like you did when you were a baby. I can’t believe my baby’s a mother. ” She looked over at me with my child in her arms, and in that moment I got it all. I understood why she was always so hard on me, why she pushed me to get good grades, and why she never let me settle for anything less: she was my mother, and she loved me more than she could ever love herself. Her own dreams were sacrificed in order to help me strive for mine. There was no way I could ever repay a debt that massive, but I could pay it forward with my own daughter. I already loved her so much more than I could ever love myself, and one day when she had dreams of her own, I’d sacrifice any and everything to help her achieve them. It wasn’t complicated; it was just a mother’s love. There was nothing in the world like it, and nothing in the world that could rival it. The day I met Boss, I tried so hard to get him to see me as a woman, but I wasn’t; I didn’t become a woman until the day I became a mother. That was why he waited until then to ask me to be his wife: he wanted to marry a grown-ass woman. He wanted me to grow up a little more, and I did – and now it was time for him to man up and put a ring on it.
Chapter 28
I started my senior year the first week of September. Boss hired a maid to take care of the house and hired my mother to take care of the baby. Neither one of us trusted leavin
g
her with anybody else
; we knew n
obody would take care of Malaysia like her grandmother would
.
Besides, t
hat was the only way I could go to school all day and not worry. I knew she was in good hands because a few years ago I was in that same hold. My mother made some mistakes along the way, but considerin
g
what happened to some of my friends, I was thankful for those small roadblocks
; t
hey got me to where I was standin
g,
and the view was damn good
:
I had everything I wanted
,
and my life was only just beginning. :
My mother and I didn’t waste any time before we started planning the wedding. Boss didn’t want to wait six months to a year
,
so I searched for a planner that was equal parts efficient and fierce.
Raquel Bleak
knew just the bad bitch for the job
:
Rion Bianci was a six
-
foot
-
two
-
inch Amazon queen with skin that looked as if it
had been
bathed in the sun every single day since her birth. Her face outshined any
Cover
G
irl
model
-
past or present
- and h
er body was what every sister secretly wanted her own to look like. She had legs for days and ass for weeks
– so n
eedless to say
,
she and Boss never met face
-
to
-
face
;
I knew my man loved me, but I was also no fool. On a scale of one to ten, Rion was a twenty
-
one
; h
ell, I would have switched teams for one night with her.
I met with Rion almost every single day after school.
When we went over
the color scheme. I wanted something classic
,
so I went with black, white
,
and red. Damask was my obsession of the moment
, so
I combed through dozens of bridal magazines and found a photo of a four
-
tier cake that was decorated so elegantly with the pattern. Rion found the perfect cake designer to reproduce it. The invitations were created and sent out. We wouldn’t have a lot of guests, but we would have everybody that mattered. The food was ordered, everything from the appetizers to the main course. Things were goin
g
well for us. There were no more phone calls from anonymous women
, and e
ven Boss’ late nights out with Pee-Wee seemed to be a thing of the past.
When things seem to perfect
,
they usually are. That week
,
Monday through Wednesday came and went without so much as a flat tire or a misplaced assignment
- t
hen Thursday rolled her evil ass around and ruined everything. I was sittin
g
at a table in the corner of the school cafeteria
,
laughin
g
and jokin
g
with my new friend
Larry
. Every since I found out that he was Boss’ cousin
,
I took to him. We hung out at school and even sometimes at the house. He didn't ask me a million questions about Boss
, and
I appreciated that. He also knew our number one rule
: h
e didn’t run his mouth.
“I heard you fuck with Boss?” Risha Williams bent over our table with her funky ass all up in the air. “Is that true? You fuck wit Boss?”
I knew it was about to be some drama. Words can’t even describe how much I hated that bitch. She was so simple
-
and not in an innocent way, but in an ignorant way. Risha was a rat I
’
d known since the second grade
;
I even hated her ass way back then. She was the little girl that kicked the back of your chair when the teacher’s back was turned but never got caught doin
g
it. I thought things were settled when I whooped her ass back in seventh graht seventde
, but
I was obviously mistaken. What other reason did the stupid bitch have for approachin
g
me about my man? She knew damn well that I was now the mother of Boss’ only child
; t
he kids at that school knew my life better than I did
, and s
he was no different. The thirsty trick spoke my name so much
,
I bet she mumbled it in her sleep. She was just a hater
,
and I knew that
- s
o why did I let her get to me?
“Risha, what you want?” I took a deep breath and sat back in my seat like the shit was nothin
g
to me. “You know I fuck with Boss. So what’s yo point?”
“My point is,” Risha bent down even further and snaked her neck with every vile word she spoke
,
“I fucked
‘
em.” She made sure to blurt it out loud enough for everyone in the entire lunchroom to hear.
I was mortified, but I wasn’t about to let her know it. She started it
, so
I just played along with her. Mama didn’t raise no fool
-
but she also didn’t raise no punk.
“Bitch, what you want, a lollipop?”
“Nauh, I already had one.” She egged me on, lickin
g
her crusty
-
ass lips in my face. “And he let me lick the wrapper.” Lil Wayne’s lyrics came firin
g
out of her mouth like a missile launcher. “I sucked that nigga’s dick so good
,
I made his toes curl.”
“Really?” I stood up and met her halfway across the table. “
’
Cause I sucked his
dick
so good that he bought me that Porsche parked out back.” I couldn’t help but smirk. “And bought me a house and asked me to marry him. But I guess that’s just the difference ’tween me and you
: y
ou make nigga’s toes curl
,
and I make nigga’s hearts weak.” I said what I had to say
,
then sat back down in my seat. Who was that bitch to make me uncomfortable? I wasn’t trippin
g
off her lies. Boss was my man
,
and that was all that mattered. It was
hard
sometimes to trust a nigga like him, but if I didn’t at least try
,
there was no point to our entire relationship. I wasn’t that naive. I knew he
’
d been unfaithful in the past, but when he asked me to marry him I assumed that part of his life was over. I had him so far up on a pedestal
,
he couldn’t do anything but fall.