Authors: Ana Layne
Tamilyn
Austin and I are sitting in a booth at a local Italian restaurant. I’m on my second glass of wine and he’s had nothing to drink but water. This works for my main rule. I never get in the car with anyone who’s even had a sip of liquor. We just placed our order and he looks at me.
“I didn’t expect to meet someone so beautiful my first day in town.” He grins.
“Oh, please, you knew me when you were younger. I haven’t changed that much.”
“I beg to differ. So you know, I’m not the kind of guy to go on dates.”
I nearly choke on my wine. “Oh shit, sorry. Must have gone down the wrong hole.” I didn’t know this was supposed to be a date. I thought he just wanted to hang out. “What kind of guy are you, exactly?”
“Not the nice kind. I don’t do the dinner stuff usually…or ever.”
“Well, that sucks. You don’t know what you’re missing.” I really need to stop drinking soon because the filter on my mouth just doesn’t know when to stop.
“I may be figuring it out.”
“Why did you move back here, anyway? I heard you were getting in trouble.”
He gulps and adjusts himself in his seat. “I beat the shit out of a guy, put him in the hospital. He kept running his mouth and I was tired of hearing it so we met in an alley and went after it. People had money on that shit and I ended up in jail. My parents decided they’d had enough so they called and had me sent here. I’m glad they did, though. It was time for me to really get my shit together.”
My eyes widen. I knew he was getting in trouble fighting but I didn’t know it was this bad. Hell, I don’t even know if Ruston knows it’s this bad. “Well, I’m glad you’re out of there. This isn’t a bad place to be and living with Ruston will help you.”
“I think so. I’m glad I found that gym. I had found one similar back home but they said enough was enough. I think fighting that way will be a good way to help me.”
“Oh, yeah, how did that go today?” I finish my second glass of wine and when the waiter passes, I ask for a third.
“We got a stack of papers to fill out and tomorrow all the fun starts. What do you do, by the way?”
“I own a little photography business. If it can be captured on a camera, I do it.” I beam. I love talking about my work but he changes the subject as the waiter sets our food on the table.
“I’m starved.” He digs in and I just continue to drink my wine.
I have to admit, he’s good looking. I knew that last night, but for some reason tonight all I see is Ruston. Perhaps it’s because of the conversation we had before Austin came to pick me up. I know this isn’t fair to Austin. I set my wine glass down and take a bite of my alfredo. It’s delicious and practically melts in my mouth. The plate is large, and there’s no way I can finish the whole thing now so I will have to ask for a to-go container when we leave.
We talk throughout dinner and the waiter brings the check. Within minutes of paying, we stand to leave. I stop for a second, wondering why I kept drinking like I had no sense. I was classy about it at least. I didn’t let anyone inside the restaurant know I was drunk. Austin asks if I want to go grab a drink from Joe’s. He mentioned he was thirsty himself, and I politely reminded him of my rule. I yawn and tell him maybe we should call it a night.
He looks a little sad but he begins driving back to my apartment. He gives me a soft kiss on the cheek before I unbuckle my seatbelt. I reach for my to-go box and thank him again for dinner.
“Can I see you again tomorrow evening?” he asks.
I turn to face him, wondering where the harm could be in this. It wasn’t as if it would hurt anything to see him again. He seems like a really good guy. He just had a crappy past. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
He waits politely until I get inside the door and I watch out my window as he drives away. He was so sweet and I like him, but I need to clear my mind.
I turn to lock my door when there’s a soft knock on the other side. My first thought is Austin. Did he park and come back to see me one more time? I glance through the peephole and my eyes widen when I see it’s Ruston. He’s staring at the ground and my heart fucking flutters. What a damn betrayal. I open the door and watch as his gaze moves from the ground to my eyes.
“Ruston, what are you doing here?”
“I had to see you, Tamilyn. I should have said everything to you in person, not in that text message. I need you to know what you really mean to me.” His lips come crashing down on mine and my whole world turns foggy. His kiss melts against my lips and I’m putty in his hands. I break the kiss, not really wanting to, but we’re just standing in the doorway. I step back, letting him inside before I lock the door behind us.
“You’ve been drinking, haven’t you?” I raise my eyebrow.
“Since Austin left to take you out, yes.”
“Do you know how long I’ve waited to hear you say something like you did tonight, Ruston? And you wait until your cousin comes around, then you get jealous and decide you want to come out with this? That’s not fair to me.” I cross my arms over my chest and lean against my kitchen counter. I move from the counter and grab the half bottle of wine out of my refrigerator. The cork pops out with ease and I tilt the bottle back. Once I’ve got a taste of my poison, I set it on the counter and cross my arms once more.
“Nothing is fair, Tammy Lou. Not a fucking thing is fair. I should have taken you to dinner tonight. It should have been me. I love you, and when you tell me you love me, do you mean it like I do? Yeah, I’m jealous. I’m fucking jealous down to my core but I didn’t want you to know that. You’re a grown woman and you can do what you want. I just needed you to hear how I really feel about you.”
“We’re both so screwed up, you know that? We’ve both apparently felt this way for a while and we never had the guts to say anything. Does this ruin things? Tell me that, because you’re all I have and I won’t lose you.”
“You won’t lose me, Tam, because I will
never
let you go.”
“There’s one problem. I like Austin. I had a good time tonight.”
“Don’t fucking kill me, Tamilyn, please? Let me show you I can be the guy for you. You know me, you don’t know him.”
“I’ve liked you for so long. I’m just scared, okay? I can admit that.”
He steps closer, cornering me against the counter. The beer on his breath invades my space and leaves me thirsty for a taste. He slides the wine bottle out of the way and places a hand on each side of me. “You know you never have to be scared around me,” he whispers as he kisses me again. My arms wrap around his neck as the kiss deepens. My heart is pounding, and he’s so close, I swear I can feel his heartbeat too. His erection digs into my thigh and a moan escapes my mouth. We’ve never
ever
messed around like this. Hell, we’ve never even kissed before last night and suddenly I want every part of him.
I really hope he doesn’t think I’m a virgin, because I’m not. He doesn’t know that Jess and I went to a party a few years back, and I let some macho football player deflower me. Not my best moment in life and I regret who I had sex with that night. With a gorgeous body like his, I’m sure he’s hiding his own secrets, but I don’t care.
He fumbles with my shirt and lifts it up. I raise my arms, giving him access to remove it. My pink lace bra is all that’s covering the top of my body. It’s almost like wearing a bathing suit top in front of him so I’m not embarrassed at all, but with the flick of his wrist, he unfastens the bra and it falls to the floor. My breasts are bare to him and I can feel them rising and falling with every breath I take.
“So fucking beautiful,” he murmurs as he lowers his mouth to one of my nipples. I moan as he pulls it into his mouth. My panties don’t stand a fucking chance; they’re already wet and my body is laced with desire.
My hand moves down to his jeans and I grab hold of a belt loop and pull him closer. He reaches down into my jeans and teases my clit through my panties. Oh dear God, I’m coming undone and he hasn’t done anything. We’ve crossed a major line and even if we were to stop now, it’d be way too late.
He withdraws and gazes at me. “I’ve wanted you for so long, Tam.”
“Me too,” I admit, out of breath. He picks me up and I shriek as he carries me toward my bedroom. He peppers me with kisses as he lays me on the bed and trails a line of kisses from my mouth to my navel. When he removes my jeans, I hold my breath. I can’t say that my decision making is all screwed up because of drinking. Even though I’m drunk, things have never been clearer. This is what I’ve been wanting—for Ruston to tell me how he feels, and tonight I’m getting double. He’s told me and now he’s going to show me.
He stops once my jeans are off but leaves my pink panties on. “Tam, I’m sorry. I’m rushing this. I didn’t think this through. I’m so sorry.”
“Stop, Ruston, don’t be sorry. I want this as much as you do.”
His phone goes off in his pocket and he pulls it out to see who it is. “Fuck,” he mutters.
“It’s Austin, isn’t it?” I hate to bring up his name right now because it’s making me feel like the shitty person I am.
“Yeah. He’s wondering where I am.”
“What are you going to tell him?” I’m curious to know just what he plans to say.
“The truth. That I’m with a beautiful woman and I may not be coming home.” He kisses my lips and then types his answer.
Guilt washes over me and I wonder how I can feel guilty when I’ve just met Austin and we’ve only gone to dinner once. Ruston tosses the phone onto the floor and kicks his jeans off. His underwear slides off along with them and I stare in amazement at the size of his cock. You think you know your best friend, and then you see what you’d been missing. All I can manage to do is lick my lips and grasp my bed sheets between my fingers.
“Ruston, promise me this changes nothing.”
“Tam, I swear this changes nothing for me at all.”
He slides his hand inside my panties this time and the moisture wraps around his fingers. Closing my eyes, I give myself over to him. Fuck, I’m unraveling.
“You’re so wet. My God, I don’t think I’ll be able to handle being inside you.”
Before I can think about what I’m doing, I reach down and grab hold of his cock. Gently, I stroke it and listen as he begins to moan. He fingers me faster and I try to keep up the pace. I can hardly breathe. My heart is beating ninety to nothing. My body begins to convulse and he suddenly slides down, my hand losing grip on his cock. He plants a kiss on the inside of each of my thighs before moving his mouth to taste my sweet juices. My God, I could almost orgasm again from the feel of his lips on me.
“Ruston, I love you,” I murmur. As soon as the words come out, I realize I meant to keep it to myself.
He stops and moves up to look me in the eyes. “I love you too, Tamilyn. I’ve loved you forever. You’ve got to know that.”
“Will you show me how much you love me?”
He reaches down for his wallet and pulls out a condom. I’ve always heard a lot of guys carry a condom in their wallet but I never expected to see Ruston doing that. At least we’ve got protection because that would have halted this quickly. He tears the wrapper and slides the condom on. He slides slowly into me and my whole world stops. Nothing else matters right now but this moment. Nothing matters except for my arms wrapped around his back and him thrusting into me.
Nothing matters except our tangled bodies lying in my bed after he exploded my world for the second time tonight. Our legs stay intertwined and I have no desire to move or have him move from this spot. I yawn but I don’t want to fall asleep because now I’m scared that in the morning we’ll both deeply regret this. We are both drunk and we just crossed the mother of all lines. I gave my body, heart, and soul to him moments ago and now I know this is one dirty little secret I’ll be taking to my grave. But is it a secret that can be kept?
Ruston
The sun peers through the blinds and I sit up abruptly, wondering where I am. One look at Tamilyn lying naked wrapped up in her comforter brings me back to reality. I remember everything, every kiss, every touch, and I regret nothing. This has been a long time coming for me and yeah, it may have taken a little liquid courage to get me to this point but she knows how I feel, and most importantly, I know how she feels and there’s no turning back.
I glance at my phone and remember that Austin and I are supposed to be at the gym today. I haven’t even filled out the paperwork and I left it in my apartment. I reach for my jeans and slide them on. A yawn fills my ears and I turn to see Tamilyn waking up. Her eyes widen and she hurries to cover herself better.
“So this wasn’t a dream.” She brushes a strand of hair out of her face.
“No, it wasn’t. Are you okay?” Panic washes over me. She’s regretting last night, I know she is.
Dammit.
“I’m fine, Rus, that was just…wow. I don’t even know what to say. Oh, where’s my shirt?”
I stand and walk to her dresser, pulling out the first t-shirt I see. I toss it to her and excuse myself to the bathroom. When I walk back out, she’s standing and stretching in nothing but a t-shirt and a pair of panties.
“Do you really have to do that?” I ask her. My cock is growing hard just watching the sides of her shirt ride up.
“I’m just stretching, you perv.” She casually walks over to me and wraps her arms around my neck. “This doesn’t change anything, right? I don’t want you to start avoiding me or shut me out if this ends up feeling awkward.”
“I could never shut you out, Tammy Lou. Nothing changes. I’m still me and you’re still you. We’re the same people we were before. Don’t worry.” I press a soft kiss on her nose. “I’ve got to go, though. I’ve got to go home to change and meet Austin at the gym. Do you have any plans this evening?”
She lets her head hang slightly and rests it on my chest. She hasn’t said anything yet but I’m not sure if I like where this is potentially heading. “I, uh…already told Austin I’d see him again tonight, but that was before any of this happened.”
“I understand.” A lump forms in my throat. I should have known but I was too wrapped up in finally getting to be with her that I didn’t ask any bullshit questions like that. “Well, text me later or something, okay?”
“I will. I have a photo session today for a couple, but when I’m done, I will. I’m sorry, Ruston. I feel like I just ruined everything.”
“What he doesn’t know won’t kill him,” I tell her confidently. I’ll just have to watch myself around him today and not like anything slip out about where I really was. I know I’d be pissed if the roles were reversed but I can play this game. He can’t just waltz into town and try to take what I want more than anything in this world.
***
I pull up to the gym and notice Austin is already here. Damn, he didn’t even text me this morning but then I didn’t try to contact him, either. I grab the papers Howard handed me yesterday and grudgingly walk inside. I spot Austin back at the weight benches with Lance. Just thinking about him seeing Tamilyn again this evening makes my stomach turn, but then I remember I have something he doesn’t have—her heart.
“Hey man, I was wondering if you were coming back.” I turn to see Garrett walking toward me. I think I’ll like him. He seems really down to earth.
“Yeah, I was just running a little behind this morning. I, uh…have my papers.”
“Howard’s in the office. You can drop them inside and then meet me back out here.”
I nod and turn to walk toward the small office. Howard’s eyes light up when he sees me and he reaches out for the papers in my hand. My phone vibrates and I notice a text from my dad. Oh shit, I’m supposed to be at the office with him today.
“Good to see you back,” Howard says. “I’m guessing you’ve already talked to Garrett?”
“Yes, sir. I’m supposed to meet him on the mat.”
“All right, I’ll cut you loose. If you need something, I’ll be around here. Oh, I told Austin there’s a fight this evening if you two wanted to check it out. Lance has a match tonight. I think it’d be good to see. You can get a better feel for everything.”
Stepping out, I open the text from my dad to see he’s wondering what time I’ll be at the office today. How the hell could I forget this?
Sorry Dad, Austin had me join this gym with him but I’ll be there probably around lunch time if that’s okay.
That’s okay. We have a new project we need to start on so just get here when you can.
Yes sir.
I take my phone along with my wallet and keys and ask Garrett where I can set them. He points to a set of lockers against a wall and I find an empty one.
Garrett waves me over to the mats where he briefly begins to explain the art of what they do. He shows me the gloves I’ll wear and how to throw a hit. I’ll need practice throwing a hit as well as he does, but I also remember this is my first time. I don’t focus on anything else around me, wondering what he’s going to show me next. He doesn’t throw too much into today because I know he’s trying to not scare me off. I practice throwing a few hits at him while trying to remember to keep myself balanced.
Time seems to fly and I glance at the clock on the wall to read it’s past ten in the morning. Howard comes flying out of the office, causing everyone to freeze. “Garrett! You need to get to the hospital. Raegan’s water just broke.”
Garrett’s face turns pale like he’s just seen a ghost but at the same time, he’s grinning like a fool. “I’m going to be a dad today!” He beams as he rips the gloves off his hands.
Lance runs over to him to hug him. “We’re going to Disneyworld next, right? Us and all our kids, fuck yeah!”
“Dude, shut up. I only have one kid, you have two, so you have all the kids. I’ll call you when the baby is born.”
“Fuck no, that’s my partner in crime. I’m calling Hilary and we’ll meet y’all there because you know Howard and Whitney are going, which means no one will be here and just to remind you, Hilary
hasn’t
had the baby yet.” He turns to look at me and Austin. “No offense, guys.”
“None taken. Congrats, man,” I tell Garrett. He just smirks and runs out the door with his keys.
“Damn.” Austin chuckles as we leave. “I was hoping we could get a chance to spar together. Maybe tomorrow. I guess I’ll call Tamilyn and see if she’s free.”
I grit my teeth trying to pretend I am not hearing any of this but it’s too late. His words are embedded in my brain and I’m jealous as fuck, even if I slept with her last night. “She had a photo session today so she’s probably busy right now.”
Austin raises his eyebrow suspiciously while I kick myself in the ass for opening my mouth. “How do you know that?”
“She’s my best friend. We talk all the time, in case you forgot.” He’s only been here a few days and each day has been a complete nightmare. Part of me is scared that it’s just going to get worse and worse.
“Oh, yeah. Well, tell me about last night. What was her name? Must have been good because you never came home.”
“Uh, yeah, it was all right. We stayed pretty busy if you know what I mean so I found it easier to just stay the night.” I will never tell him who I was with and making up a name is nothing but more trouble.
“Hell yeah! At least someone in the apartment is getting some action. I plan on getting a little something soon, if you know what I mean.” He’s fucking with my head. I know he is, but I still turn to face him. His eyes are menacing and I want nothing more than to fucking punch him in the throat right now.
“Dude, shut up,” I warn him.
“What? I’m attracted to her. I know she’s got to be attracted to me. That’s what people do, you know. You did it last night.”
“You really think she’s going to sleep with you?” I cross my arms over my chest as I stop next to my truck.
“No doubt. I’ve got moves that make panties drop, Ruston. Moves you only wish you had.” Goddamn, he’s cocky as shit.
“Okay, well, I’ve got to go help my dad at the office. I’ll catch you later.”
“Unlike you, I’ll be home later.” He laughs as he climbs into his car. Before I can blink an eye, he’s backed out and headed down the road.
I climb into my truck and punch the steering wheel. I want to text Tamilyn and beg her not to see him anymore but who am I to tell her who she can see and who she can’t? I’m trying to not drive her away. Fuck, this is such a damn mess, and all I can do is hope that she doesn’t fall for his so-called
panty dropping moves.