Blindsided (16 page)

Seconds later, she shattered in his arms.

* * * *

Emma lay on the bed, limp, relaxed, and completely in awe. She’d never had an orgasm before with her former boyfriend. All her others had been self-induced. She’d even worried she might have a problem, but Tanner brought her to fulfillment in under five minutes.

He grinned down at her, smug with satisfaction. Emma thought she’d be shy, but being with him felt so right, her shyness and modesty faded with the evening light.

Emma traced the ink on Tanner’s arm, reading the names in the flickering candlelight. “Jenny and Karen—forever remembered. Who were they?”

“My mom and sister.” He looked away for a moment and swallowed.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. They’re part of who I am. I carry them with me everywhere. Inside here.” He pointed to his chest.

Emma nodded. He had another tattoo between his hip and belly button of a heart and a football, totally not a surprise. Tanner loved his football.

Fearing their wedding night might take a sad turn at the mention of his lost family, she tried for a sultry smile. “Your turn,” she declared saucily, reaching for him. She rubbed the bulge in his boxers and gasped at his size. “Oh, my. You’re well endowed.”

“Honey, you haven’t seen anything yet.” He grinned widely, pulled off his boxers, and kicked them to the floor. He rolled a condom he happened to have on the nightstand over his cock. Emma watched, mesmerized, not certain whether to be alarmed or aroused, maybe a little of both. In awe, she ran an exploring finger across the tip and drew a groan from him.

“You’re awfully big.”

His smile faded. “I promise I’ll take my time.”

“I’m not concerned.” She could tell by his lazy smile he loved her response.

“Good, because my dick and your pussy are going to become really good friends.”

“I’d like that.” Emma pulled him down to her, kissing him on the lips. He took over the kiss, his tongue dancing with hers, while his hands cupped her breasts, stroking and squeezing.

“Emma, I don’t want to hurt you, but I need to be inside of you. Soon.”

“Then what are you waiting for?” She tossed him a sassy wink which drew a strained chuckle from deep in his belly.

Tanner didn’t need a second invitation. On his knees between her legs, he positioned himself at her entrance. “This might hurt a little at first.”

Emma sucked her lower lip into her mouth and nodded. She could do this, and she would enjoy it even though his size made her little apprehensive. Yet she wanted him inside her so badly, she’d tolerate a discomfort to get to the good stuff. Judging by the man’s size, he had some major good stuff.

Tanner was true to his word. He took his time, despite the veins standing out on his neck from the stress of holding back and his face tight from the extreme control he exerted over his body. He claimed her in minute increments, stretching her wider than she’d thought possible. She squirmed, trying to find a more comfortable position, and Tanner bent down to kiss her tenderly.

“It’ll all be good. Just trust me. Once your body adjusts, you’ll be loving this as much as I am.”

Emma nodded, willing her body to relax and accept his penis. Tanner exhibited painstaking patience, making their first time as painless as possible. Finally, he was buried deep inside her. Emma blew out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. He stayed still for a while until she was comfortable with him then pulled back slightly and pushed deep again. Each time he’d pull out a little further and push in a little deeper until Emma was writhing underneath him and begging for more. The pain fleeting, and the desire exploding.

Nothing in her twenty-three years compared to this man thrusting inside her. She followed his rhythm and picked up the pace until their bodies were so in sync, it was as if they were one mind, one body, one soul. The sensations drove her higher until he thrust into her one final time, deeper and stronger, holding himself there. Emma arched into him, her instincts informing her he was close and so was she, and she wanted them to go together.

“Emma,” he cried out, and that was all it took for both of them.

Shouting her name, he came and took Emma with him. Stars exploded behind her eyes celebrating a pleasure so great she didn’t understand how anyone could survive it. She wasn’t sure she had until her body began to float back to earth.

Tanner collapsed on top of her, his sweaty chest resting on hers. She wrapped her arms around his waist, loving even the heavy weight of his body pressing against her. As their breathing returned to normal, he sprawled onto his back and pulled her on top of him.

“That was fucking incredible,” he said in wonder, as if he truly meant the words.

“You were incredible.” Emma lay her head on his chest, hearing his still harsh breathing as it rose and fell under her ear. She was sore, but a good kind of sore, and her body tingled from the after-effects of his lovemaking.

“And so were you, babe. So were you.” He wrapped his arms around her and rained little kisses on her neck and shoulders.

“Are you…?” Emma felt his erection against her hip and was in absolute amazement.

“Getting hard again? Sure am.”

Emma didn’t have time to marvel over his recovery rate as he took her again and made love to her long into the night and showed her the true meaning of stamina.

* * * *

Several days later Emma woke to the sounds of bird singing. She rolled over to find Tanner’s side of the bed empty.

Sitting up, she glanced around the master bedroom of their new house. Morning sunshine poured through the windows. The French doors were open onto the porch and the backyard. Emma pulled on a pink silk robe and tip-toed outside. Tanner sat in a lounge chair, puffing on a cigar, and staring at the small fish pond in the back yard. His brow was furrowed with worry, his face lined with stress, and his gaze distant. His expression alarmed her, and she immediately worried he might be regretting their marriage already. Yet, he certainly didn’t seem to regret their nights together.

“Tanner?”

He jumped as if startled. Half turning in his chair, he spotted her standing in the doorway. He grinned widely, but he didn’t fool her. She’d seen the real Tanner seconds earlier.

“Are you okay?” She walked toward him. He snaked out an arm and pulled her into his lap. Ready to distract her with kisses and more. Emma refused to be distracted. She put her hands on his chest and pushed, forcing distance between them. Despite his superior strength, he gave in to her.

“Tanner?” she prodded.

“I’m fine,” he said smoothly. “I’ll be even better with a little morning pick-me-up. Sweetheart, you beat coffee any day.”

Emma shook her head and held him off with a hand. “Tell me the truth.”

“I am.” He pretended shock that she’d insinuate he was lying.

“No, you’re not. Something’s troubling you. You’ve been distant since we returned from the honeymoon.”

“I wasn’t distant last night.”

“Tanner, stop it. Be serious for once.” She pushed away from him and stood.

His smile slipped off his face, and he frowned, almost appearing annoyed. He looked beyond her, his mouth set in a stubborn line. “It’s not you, baby, and it’s nothing you can help me with.”

“You could at least share. It might help.”

Tanner drew his gaze back to hers. His irritated scowl surprised her. “Can you catch anything I throw at you and run it in for a touchdown? Or how about cut through the defensive line as if it were butter? Or maybe block the opposing linebacker so I have more time to throw?”

Emma understood now. She’d suspected as much. The team reported for training camp in a few days, and Tanner sat on the hot seat.

Tux streaked out of the bedroom, under Tanner’s chair, and out the door, effectively interrupting any meaningful conversation they may have had.

Tanner shot to his feet and whipped around. “What the fuck was that?”

Emma started laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Tanner stood with legs braced apart, hands on hips, looking ready to do battle.

“That’s my cat.”

“Cat? You have a cat? You never said anything about a cat.” Tanner rubbed the elbow that he’d jammed against the railing when he’d leapt to his feet.

“You never asked. I was keeping him in the laundry room until he got used to the place, and since you avoid that room like the plague—”

“Yeah, I get the picture,” Tanner interrupted. “I hate cats.”

“Grouchy. You’ll grow to love him. All guys think they hate cats until they live with one.”

Tanner’s chin jutted out as he glared in the direction the cat had gone. “I will not have a cat in bed with us.”

“Tell him that.”

“You can’t tell a cat anything. That’s why I hate them. Give me a good dog anytime.”

“We could get a dog, too,” Emma suggested hopefully.

Tanner grabbed her and crushed her against him, his mouth hot and demanding on hers. Emma forgot about the cat, the dog, and Tanner’s earlier despondency as he once again wrapped his special brand of magic around her heart.

Tanner was having a day—not a good one.

Right now he regretted the day he’d sold his condo for this ancient monstrosity a football field’s distance from his brother. He’d been fucking nuts to do such a dumb-ass thing.

Busying himself with the BBQ, as if Tanner had the first clue how to grill steaks, he kept his back to the family gathered around, talking and laughing like they were having a good time. He resented their joyousness when he was all kinds of messed up.

“Looking forward to training camp?” Isaac asked conversationally, leaning against a nearby tree with a beer in hand. His deceptively casual pose didn’t fool Tanner. Like a snake, the man was coiled and ready to strike at a moment’s notice. Tanner stiffened, an automatic reaction from long years of being programmed to expect the worst from his family. Probing for weakness and attacking the soft spots happened to be what they did best.

“Yeah, sure. Have to show the rookies how it’s done.” Tanner threw back a beer and snorted out a derisive laugh.

“Seems you could use a little advice yourself.” Isaac narrowed his blue eyes and studied Tanner, just like he used to when their father threw them into a ring to fight an opponent or each other until one of them was too beaten up to fight any longer. Meanwhile, dear old Dad and his cronies would bet on the winner. To this day, Tanner hated anything associated with fighting, even though he could hold his own and had a wicked right hook. He’d come a long way since his barroom brawl days in college. Except when it came to Isaac. Isaac represented everything Tanner despised about his background and brought back a searing pain Tanner had worked like hell to forget. He’d made an art out of avoidance in the past few years, becoming a charmer who used his smile and wits rather than his fists. That method sure as hell netted him plenty of women and earned him a lot of casual friends in the locker room, but left him lonely as hell at night.

Until Emma.

He glanced her way, finding comfort in her presence. Isaac cleared his throat, drawing Tanner’s attention back to him.

“Fuck you,” Tanner growled under his breath, not interested in making nice but forced to do so because of his respect for Emma and Avery.

“I’ll leave that to Avery,” Isaac grinned and glanced in the direction of his fiancée. His face softened, and a slow smile turned up the corners of his usually tight mouth.

“You’re got it bad, Ice.”

“Of course, I have it bad. I’m in love. You should try it, might improve your pissy attitude.” He paused to stare pointedly at his brother’s throwing arm. “And your aim.”

“There’s not a damn thing wrong with my aim or my attitude.”

“Yeah, right.” Isaac leaned forward, and Tanner instinctively pulled back. “One word of advice.”

“I don’t need any advice from you.”

“You’re getting it anyway. Someday you’re going to need to forgive. Not for me, but for yourself. And for Jenny’s memory. She wouldn’t want this wedge between us.”

“Someday hasn’t come, and for now, I’d appreciate you getting out of my space. Jenny isn’t here to offer an opinion because you killed her.” Tanner spat out a little louder than he’d meant. He caught the worried glances of his friends and family.

Isaac’s eyes flashed with pain and sadness. “I’m sorry.”

“Whatever,” Tanner said, regretting his harsh words but too stubborn to take them back.

Isaac shrugged, and Avery came up beside him, curving her hand around his arm. She shot Tanner a look that would’ve killed most men. As it was, she’d blown a hole in his steely resolve when it came to his brother. Maybe Tanner was the asshole now, not Isaac?

Turning his back on them all, Tanner flipped the steaks and ignored the group. He felt Emma before he saw her. She slid up next to him, smelling of spring flowers and sweetness, a sweetness he didn’t deserve and craved every waking minute.

“He means well, you know.”

“You have no idea what kind of history we have, do you?”

“Uh, no.” Emma worried her plump lower lip into her mouth, and he suppressed a groan. She killed him when she did that.

“I thought perhaps Avery might have filled you in on Ice’s version.”

“Not really. Why don’t you fill me in?”

“Because it’s between Ice and me, and no one else’s fucking business,” Tanner snapped at her. The second the mean words left his mouth, he felt like a first-class dick. “Emma, I’m sorry.”

She waved him off as tears filled her eyes and pushed him away when he reached for her. “Leave me alone. You’ve made it perfectly clear where I fit in your life. In your bed and maybe your kitchen, and that’s it. I’m fine with that.” Her sadness turned to anger, and she spun around and stomped off. Tanner sighed, staring down the charcoaled steaks. He’d better order out for pizza and find a way to grovel back into Emma’s good graces.

He glanced around to see if anyone had noticed their altercation. Isaac stared back at him, his glare cutting right through Tanner’s bullshit and splitting him open to expose the ugliness inside. Emma stood in a small group with her sisters sipping a glass of wine and putting on a performance that did him proud. Or maybe it wasn’t a performance, Maybe he mattered so little to her that she could walk away from an argument unscathed.