Bittersweet (Xcite Romance) (3 page)

I pointed to the Statue of Liberty and he leaned over to take a look out my window. As he did, I looked back to register his reaction, and he grazed my mouth with his. It was an accident and the moment was brief, but just long enough to tempt us both. The kiss we shared was sweet and delicate with the ginger touch of uncertainty, each of us unsure of the other’s response. Yet it soon grew with the confidence of reciprocation, as each tongue shamelessly solicited the other. That kiss was as powerful as the rotor blades were deafening. Eyes closed, I felt like the world had been stripped away, leaving only Evan and I and persistent desire smouldering between us. Suddenly I wished to land, so that his tongue might be able to explore the rest of my body in private. When he abruptly pulled away, I read the words ‘Not like this’ passing his ruddy lips.

Since I thought he’d only disrupted our kiss because of the limitations of our surroundings, I was confused and then mortified when he was unresponsive to my advances once we were alone back in the car. A few times, I started to ask him what was going on – why the sudden change – but his concentrated expression kept me quiet. He was in his own world, his mind ticking away on something while I simply sat confounded and indignant next to him on the trek to the suburbs.

I was preoccupied as well, guiltily reliving the feel of his lips while my return home loomed. When the day turned into evening and we neared our exit off the parkway, I wondered what in the world Keith had expected of my day with Evan.

Once inside the house we found Keith exactly where I expected: in his wheelchair watching the Discovery Channel with a glass of wine. The smile with which he greeted us contrasted starkly with our stiffened expressions. ‘Come,’ he said, ‘sit down and have a drink with me.’ Evan took my coat and I kissed Keith softly on the cheek before taking a place on the sofa. ‘Did you have a good time, love?’ he asked.

‘It was a crazy idea, Keith, but yes, I did enjoy myself,’ I answered, pulling off my boots and tucking my feet underneath me.

‘Let me ask you, Evan. Did you two have fun?’ Keith’s eyes were bright with intensity as he motioned for him to sit.

‘We had a great time. I’d say it was a perfect day,’ Evan answered with mild enthusiasm, grabbing the open bottle of Chianti and pouring both of us a glass.

‘I’m glad,’ Keith said simply. Then raising his half-f glass, he announced in a reverent tone, ‘I’d like to propose a toast.’ We raised our glasses in turn. ‘To Cupid and his uncanny ability to find the right match for those deserving of love.’ He smiled at both of us, but his words gave me the chills. I knew there was more. He looked at me in the matter-of-fact way I was used to seeing when he explained something. ‘Sabrina, I have to tell you something and I’m afraid it won’t be easy to hear.’ He took a breath and narrowed his eyes upon me. ‘There is a tumour rapidly growing on my brain. It’s the reason I blacked out that night and crashed my car into a tree.’ A heavy sigh came through his clenched teeth and the next words were even more painful. ‘It’s inoperable and I’m dying. They say I have about three months, maybe four.’

I sprung out of my seat and threw my arms around him; climbed into his lap and blanketed him with desperate kisses. ‘No, no, no. No, please, no,’ I begged for him to say it wasn’t true.

He held tight, stroking my hair and whispering ‘Ssshhh. Don’t cry, love. I’ve had some time to accept my fate. Yours, my sweet, doesn’t have to be as grim.’ I pulled away with my tearful eyes full of question, confounded by what he meant. He held my face and drew my lips back onto his in a deep, emotional kiss as if it were the last time he’d ever taste them. And then he stopped, gently guiding my chin toward Evan, who was seated only a few feet away.

Evan was already staring at me with a look of compassion that revealed his prior knowledge of Keith’s news. When he took my hand and slowly leaned into me, I was frozen in shock, and in truth, curious anticipation. He kissed my salty tears, softly and with a sensitivity that made me flood with an uncontrollable desire for more of his tender affection. Simultaneously, Keith drew my hair over one shoulder and dragged his moist lips and tongue over the back of my neck while I became dizzy from the duo of mouths dancing on my skin.

The agonising news seemed to amplify my senses as adrenaline mixed with sorrow and my body seemed to yearn for both Keith’s reassurance and Evan’s consolation. As they each showered me with their sweet kisses, a third sensation seemed to arise; I was startled to find myself lusting for both of them. Keith appeared to have anticipated this reaction and was reaching under my arms to busy his fingers with the buttons on my blouse. I tensed up, looking at him with trepidation and he replied with conviction, ‘I know that you have been suffering. Let Evan give you what I can’t, love; a future.’

Keith pulled me back against his chest, spreading the fabric away from my breasts and off my shoulders. Then with a dexterous flick of the fingers, he continued to rid me of my bra as well. He lifted my head to expose the full length of my neck and I rested there, bare to my waist like an offering from the gods, while Evan stood over us deciding momentarily what he wanted to taste first. When his hot mouth engulfed my nipple, I cried out with a thankful moan for the tingling pleasure I’d longed for but had almost forgotten. He was licking at me, indeed tasting that distinctive skin constricted in want, and then sucking softly, savouring my breast as he took it full into his mouth. He lavished me with the decadently slow undulations of his tongue, electrifying every nerve and sending my mind into overdrive.

Keith placed his hands under my thighs and lifted my legs high into the air, while Evan reached under my dress to remove my panties. His mouth left my breast and his eyes locked with mine for a moment, with a lusty smile playing lightly on his lips. Then Evan let his sweet tongue slip tenderly into my needful slit and relaxing my head back onto Keith’s shoulder, I sighed with appreciation for his splendid technique. Like rolling waves against my clit, his tongue seemed to keep tempo with my pounding heart. And when my hips began to buck, Evan let two slender fingers play deep in my silken river as Keith spread my legs wider. I arched my back and hooked my arms around Keith’s neck, using him for leverage against my rising climax.

He was whispering to me in my ear, ‘Come for him, my love. Give yourself to him.’ His words carried me to climax and I burst into Evan’s mouth, crying out with a jumbled mix of all my conflicting emotions.

Keith kissed me one more time, sweetly now. And with an unblinking gaze he directed, ‘Upstairs, the both of you – alone.’

He was so definite in his tone that it seemed like a prophetic decree, not to be contested. Not that I wanted to. I was in pain and in shock and in love all over again with my husband for his remarkable complexities. I wanted to please him, and I had to admit that I wanted to please myself. He’d always known my silent desires, and his blessing for Evan and I was his final gift to me.

Evan lifted me off of Keith’s lap and by the time we stumbled to my bedroom, we were feverishly stripping away the rest of our clothing. We didn’t make it to the bed and I opted to bend over the dresser as he entered my dripping cunt with a long moan. I gripped the edges of the bureau and watched our reflection in the mirror. My perfume bottles shook and tumbled over at the force of his thrusts.

He was ravenous and I was equally desperate to have him inside me. Spilling a hot shot of come through the grip of my walls only prompted him to change positions, and he threw me onto the bed, pressing inside me again and flooding my mouth with his tongue. I grabbed at his ass, spreading my legs wide and encouraging him to go faster. I was nearing another orgasm as his cock acquainted itself with my most sensitive depths. Evan slipped his fingers into mine, locking them together and rolling against the spot he’d found.

I screamed out in utter release and came harder than I ever had before. He collapsed next to me, cradling my shaking frame, as I lay suspended in the clutches of orgasmic overload. A few moments later, I was about to get up when Keith’s shadow appeared in the doorway.

‘You two sleep here tonight,’ he said, ‘I’ll take the guest room.’ Again, he was insistent, so I obeyed his wishes and stayed in Evan’s arms until about midnight, but crawled into the spare bed next to Keith once Valentine’s Day was over. As I nuzzled next to my husband, cherishing the warmth of his closeness, I promised to file for a sabbatical from the museum first thing in the morning.

The worst was only ahead of us.

Awaiting me in the clarity of the morning light was a sense of desperation for more time. And simultaneously, the absence of my normal Monday morning hustle felt like the beginning of a surrealistic holiday. With just a phone call and an email, I secured the opportunity to be with Keith every minute he had left. One word would sum it up: daunting. The entire thing threatened to overwhelm me at every turn, but I resolved to remain calm and determined in the face of the inevitable. My time with Keith would not be wasted in a sea of melancholy.

He’d awoken with me staring at him – my hair a mess and my make-up smeared across my face. No matter, because he’d seen me looking worse and loved me all the while. It’s like that in a marriage and I gave credence to the liberation familiarity provides when Evan gently knocked on the open door.

‘I’m making some eggs and toast,’ he said casually and smiled, disguising the awkwardness that hung in the air.

‘We’ll be down in a few,’ I returned, with fingers reflexively fussing over my appearance.

Keith touched my face and grinned slightly. ‘You’re wondering what I have gotten you into,’ he noted.

‘I’m wondering how I can make sense of all this.’

‘Sabrina, you have little difficulty making sense of anything.’

He was right. What was churning my stomach was the sense that I could still feel Evan’s cock sliding in and out of me. ‘I just want to focus on you, give you my undivided attention for whatever time we have left.’

‘That’s what you think you should be doing. Sometimes you have to let your instincts take the lead. There is nothing wrong with your sensibilities or what they are telling you.’

‘Stop trying to make this sound so easy.’

He sighed, twisting a lock of my hair around his finger. ‘But it is, Sabrina. It’s as simple as we make it.’

Morning radio flooded the kitchen with boisterous chatter where Evan was making himself busy with breakfast. I walked in with my robe pulled tightly over my nudity, but he was already dressed, as irresistible as ever, barefoot in yesterday’s trousers and just his undershirt.

‘Looks like you guys could use a trip to the grocery store,’ he remarked, nodding at the refrigerator. Then pausing a moment, he continued, ‘Are you OK?’

‘I’ve been better.’ Evan took some steps closer to me as I fought the urge to melt into his arms.

He sensed my tension and stopped short of the intended embrace, placing a hand on my shoulder instead. ‘I know this is difficult. You can lean on me in any way that you feel you need to.’

Swallowing hard past the lump of stubborn resolve hitched in my throat, I let my hand wander over the top of his and found the edge of comfort in the sincerity of his eyes.

‘Thank you.’

‘Does Keith need help getting downstairs?’

‘No.’ The answer came from Keith himself as he wheeled into the kitchen. ‘Months of practice have made it easy enough for me to navigate the chair lift on my own.’

‘I only have to help when he’s had one too many glasses of wine,’ I quipped, giving Keith a kiss on the cheek.

‘Well, I scrounged up what I could for breakfast. If you want, I’ll take a trip to the store before I head back to my apartment.’

‘You’re heading back into the city?’ I asked before realising that it was a silly question.

‘I figured you two would like some time alone.’

‘Nonsense,’ Keith stated. ‘Stay the day at least. Sabrina is going to be out of her mind with over-compensating me. I’m not sure I want to be cooped up with her all day by myself.’ He had a smile for both of us and I couldn’t resist jabbing him in the arm.

‘OK, but they’re predicting snow on the radio, so I think it’s a good idea to get some food in this place,’ Evan said, scooping some eggs onto each of our plates.

‘I’ll go with you. Keith is pretty picky about what he likes.’

They both laughed at this, with Evan driving the point home. ‘You’re pretty picky yourself there, Sabrina.’

I rolled my eyes in mock denial, but the truth is I can be impossible to please, and I know it.

The local market was bustling with activity, strange for a Monday morning. The housewives were out in droves, stocking up on the necessities like panicked worker ants reinforcing the nest. I usually have the groceries delivered, but yesterday’s adventure had precluded me from placing my weekly order. We made quick work of gathering what was needed and were waiting in line when I heard someone call my name.

My divorcée neighbour looked surprised to see me. ‘Funny running into you on a Monday, Sabrina.’ She gave me a polite hug, cheek to cheek.

‘I’m taking some time off,’ I said with hopes that she’d leave it at that.

‘That’s nice,’ she replied and took a long look at Evan. ‘Do introduce me to this attractive man you’re with. Is he a relative of yours?’ she asked, extending her well-manicured hand out towards Evan.

I immediately felt a twinge in my jaw, wanting to mark him as off-limits to that man-eater. ‘Carla, this is Keith’s assistant, Evan,’ was my only reply.

‘Pleased to meet you,’ he responded and offered his hand in return.

‘Yes, I’ve seen you leaving a few times from across the street.’ Her flirtations were as overt as the cleavage she displayed in the angora sweater she wore. Then turning back to me, she put on a concerned expression. ‘How is Keith doing?’

‘He’s fine,’ came my simple answer to a complicated question.

‘Good to hear. Well, it was nice meeting you, Evan. Do you have a card? I’m sure I could use your help with something.’

I could tell that her charms were having the exact opposite effect on Evan than what she intended and he had to bite his lip to keep from saying something that would make us all uncomfortable.