If she seemed to be getting sicker, I’d be phoning for an ambulance.
“My stomach feels funny. I thought I was going to vomit. But not now.” She shifted her legs up and closer to me, until her knees bumped my shoulder, then she felt my face with her fingers, patting me like she too couldn’t be sure this was real,
I
was real. “I just couldn’t get loose. And I can’t remember anything before I woke. Only coming here and drinking champagne. I don’t think I even finished one glass…” The hitch in her voice was followed by Jodie searching my face. “Klaus, what are you hiding?”
I watched those beautiful eyes take stock. How in hell she’d figured this out, I did not know. I should work on my poker face. Least I knew now she was thinking fine. I had to tell her.
“I killed the man, Jodie. The man on the bed with the woman who looks like you. Who I thought
was
you. There’s more, though.”
Tiny creases formed between her eyebrows, and I caressed the curves above each brow while I waited for her next words, her next question.
“You killed him…” Fear poured out with her next sluggish words. “What happened in there? It’s something terrible, isn’t it? That would be Melissa on the bed. What’s happened? You can tell me.” Her voice quavered.
If I said this the wrong way, would I lose her? I had only one excuse, and it was Jodie. I’d thought it was
her
corpse.
What an ugly word corpse is. But death is damn ugly
.
“The woman is dead. I killed him because he was lying beside her, and she has been strangled by a rope around her neck and her hands are tied. And I thought…he’d killed you.” I swallowed. I had to say this. “I thought it was you he’d killed, so when he started to vomit, I held him so he’d breathe it in. I let him die. I
made
him die.” The rest.
Say
it all. “And I’m not sorry.”
“Ohmigod.”
I sighed. “The other thing is there’s another woman in there, handcuffed still, but okay, and she saw what I did. I didn’t see her until after.” When her expression didn’t alter, I figured I needed to spell out what that meant. “She is a witness to me killing this man.”
“Oh, Klaus. Oh god. I don’t know what to say. I shouldn’t have come here.” She began to rock, shaking her head against the rug, over and over, as if by denying it she could change what had happened. Her face went a smudged red and white. “It’s my fault. Now you’ll go to jail and it’s my fault. It’s my fault. I’m sorry.” She made a strangled squeak. “I’m sorry.”
“What! The hell it is. It’s not your fault.” I wiped away the tears leaking from her eyes, thinking as fast as I could under the circumstances. “They can’t tell that I did this. People do that all the time when drugged, and he was drugged. Maybe she’ll stay quiet if I ask her to?”
“I don’t want to lose you! I should have said no to coming. I should have known.” She wrapped her hand around my finger that had been stroking her forehead and sobbed, her shoulders trembling.
Was it the aftereffects of whatever she’d taken? This was irrational. “Of course it’s not your fault.
Shh. Shh
. Let me think this through.”
For once though, I was having trouble getting it all lined up in my head. I’d murdered someone. Bad man or not, it was what I’d done.
And I’d been seen doing it. That was, for me, the worst of it. For a man who always liked the moral high ground, I had awful shaky foundations.
I leaned my head in my palm, with Jodie still clutching the other hand. I had to do right for her as much as me. I had no right to drag her into something illegal, to make her a victim again.
I didn’t want to go to prison. The police would see it the wrong way. I’d killed a man just because I wanted to. Not in self-defense. We didn’t even have the death penalty,
legally
, for any crime here, so this would never be excused. Not completely. I needed to find out more facts though. If it meant only probation or a year in jail, could I do that?
Maybe.
I shut my eyes. The prospect of being labeled a criminal horrified me. I’d been through this moral bigheadedness question already when I discovered the extremeness of my cravings for sadistic activities. If not for Jodie—her compassion, her understanding, and her sheer stubbornness—I might have been forever angry and grieving at what I saw as my depraved self.
What if I had to go to jail? Could I stand having my name dragged through mud?
I didn’t
want
to. It was not something I even felt I deserved. The man was an evil bastard, as far as I could tell. I wanted to stay free and I didn’t want to be seen as a murderer. Enough. I’d chase this tail some more later.
“Okay. Here is what I want to do. You need to say if it doesn’t sit well with your conscience. Because…” I stared directly into Jodie’s eyes. “Because I don’t intend to be tried for this,
if
I can avoid it. But I am not going to make you my accomplice. There’s only one way to wriggle out of this that I can see, and that’s to convince that woman in there not to say what happened.”
A quiet pause, then she nodded. We were so close I caught her scent and felt the warm movement of air as she spoke. “Yes. I agree.”
“Good.” Maybe this was the right time to ask the next question. “Jodie,” I said softly, “Do you know if you were raped?”
Her lips compressed and she looked toward her toes for a few seconds. This must be a hard thing to contemplate but we needed to know. “I…no, Klaus, I can’t be sure. It doesn’t feel like it. You know. I don’t feel sore or, or messy, or anything. But…” She pulled a face, as if disgusted, then shrugged.
Maybe a doctor was the only way to find out? “Okay. Try not to worry about it. We’ll find out. Okay? We
will
figure this out.”
Pensively, she nodded. “‘Kay.”
Even though we’d both like an answer straight away, I couldn’t see a way to be sure.
“I need you to do what I say, for the time being. It will make things simpler. But answer me this—the other woman in there, do you think she will she do this? Lie and deny seeing what I did?”
“Stephanie?” Jodie thought awhile, with her bottom lip between her teeth. Her little headshake might have been a
no
or an
I don’t know
.
Gently, I held her face in my palm. “You don’t know, do you?”
“No, Sir, I don’t.”
“Then let’s go find out.”
Later, I could try to find a way to research the law on this. Maybe, if it seemed the best course of action, I could simply front up and confess. Maybe that would be best for Jodie and me…
If only that didn’t seem like ripping off pieces of who I
was
and feeding them to a passing dog. If only, every time I considered confessing, I didn’t want to scream,
this is not fair
.
All of this mess was because I thought he’d killed her. My vengeance had seemed so right.
My wrists were aching, so were the muscles in my arms. I tried to shift my numb shoulder into a better spot on the rug on the floor between the sofas. Even with the rug over it, lying on the timber for this long was painful.
This has not been a good party.
That stupid thought had been alternating with terror ever since the big guy had entered the room and let Leon die. Clearly Leon had fucked up in a big way, but he didn’t deserve to die, did he?
Not…I shuddered, remembering the awful gurgling, the smell of vomit…no, not like that. That had been awful, terrifying, a whole lot of bad adjectives. I wasn’t close to either of them, though I knew Melissa more than I knew Leon, but still. I never wanted to see someone die again.
Especially not me.
The trembling took me again. The handcuffs clinked.
What if this stranger found out everything? I wasn’t squeaky clean here. A little chemical something to liven up a get together was fine in my books, but this had gone too far…way far out into outer space, like, it was as far as bad outcomes could possibly go. The
Star Trek
of bad outcomes. And yet, not being able to predict something…did that mean I wasn’t to blame?
No. I let out the breath I’d been holding and decided again, no.
I’m not a coward. I’ll take the heat on this, except not to this man who kills people that make him angry. No fucking way
.
“It was Leon, mostly,” I whispered to myself as footstep sounds tapped back down the hallway. Leon was mostly to blame. Those were too many sounds to be just
him
. Had to be Jodie as well. Who was he? Jodie’s boyfriend? Oh god. That would be it. If he found out what I’d done to her. Shit, shit, shit. He’d just
killed
a man in front of me.
Then he came back in. Jodie followed him then she stopped dead, stiffening at the sight of the bodies on the bed.
“Klaus…oh damn, damn, you were telling the truth.”
“Yes. I’m so sorry, Jodie. There’s nothing you can do for her. Take your time, sweetheart. Don’t look…if you can do that?”
“I’ll try.” She sent him a wobbly smile. “It’s hard not to throw up.”
He took her shoulders and hugged her to his chest while rubbing her back. His chin rested near her ear and he whispered something.
The love in that gesture fairly radiated round the room. I envied them so much. Dead people, stench of vomit, me tied up on the floor and hurting a little, but for a second all I could see and feel was that love.
Envy. God, how I envied them. Bastards. I smiled inside. Jodie had caught herself a man. I eyed him some more and my situation hammered home again. I was so fucked, especially if Jodie remembered.
The broad, assured masculine stance, the obvious muscles under his t-shirt and surfer shorts made me want to shrink into the floor. I was shit at lying, at faking the truth. Maybe he wouldn’t ask me anything important?
After he kissed Jodie’s head and murmured something, he walked over and crouched a foot away. I quietly crossed my fingers and tried to look innocent without shaking. But my heart was thumping away so frantically inside me I was almost sure he could see it.
“I’m Klaus, Jodie’s partner. You okay?”
Partner? Not husband, not boyfriend? It sounded more permanent than boyfriend, which was not good.
Those words, his presence above me, and the casual drape of his hands between his thighs imparted solidness, control—intimidation too though. I just flat-out knew I never wanted to see this guy again. Not after he let me go anyway. He scared me.
His close-shorn, sandy-colored hair reminded me of the military and he certainly had the build for a soldier.
Was I okay? He was waiting for an answer.
I nodded. Behind him Jodie was collecting her clothes from the floor. She began dressing. Only a mild unsteadiness, when she nearly tripped while putting on underwear, betrayed her nerves.
“Do you know where the key is to these?” He waved his fingers at where my hands were cuffed together before me.
I stared at them for a second like I’d not seen them before. The matter-of-fact questions unsettled me. Like, as if somewhere under that he was ready to erupt into rage again. How could he be so calm with all this around him?
I risked looking him in the eye, shrank, but managed to stay on target despite the urge to look away. “No. I don’t know. Maybe on the table next to the bed?”
Klaus frowned. “No, they’re not there. I guess I’d better check his clothes.”
“Wait.” Jodi held up a small metal object, and jingled it. “This it? Found it on the floor.”
“Looks like it.” Finally, I could tell he’d seen the camera on its tripod where Leon had set it up in the corner. After one long look, he rose, fiddled at the back of it then went over and checked the key.
When he knelt and fitted the key into the handcuff lock, I couldn’t stop the shakes returning.
“Hey. Don’t be frightened. It’s over. See? I’m getting these off. The man over there can’t hurt you anymore.” The soft rumble of his voice mesmerized me as his fingers brushed my palms.
The cuffs fell away. After I sat up, he started on the ankle rope. “Stephanie?” He cocked a brow at me. I nodded to acknowledge my name. “Can I call you Steph?” A loop of rope slid free.
“Yes.” I nodded again, feeling the trembles die away. Maybe he was a nice person, just a bit unhinged by everything? I could see how that might happen if he’d thought Melissa was Jodie. Just like that, tears sprang up, overflowed and dripped from my cheeks onto my leg.
Would I ever get over this? Every time I thought of them, especially her, a vibrant happy woman, dead, the tragedy clawed at my insides again.
Alerted by something, maybe my sniffling, Klaus paused and checked me over. “Heyyy.” For a moment, he caressed my lower leg. “
Shh
.”
“It’s—” I choked out then shut my eyes.
Dead friends; me fucking up, and everything.
“Oh shit. This is so stupid. How…” Hand to my forehead, I made myself tighten down. The tears stopped. “I’m sorry for swearing.”
“Oh? I think under the circumstances it’s allowed. There, you’re free.” He helped me to my feet and onto the nearest sofa. “Tell me where your clothes are. Then we need to decide what we’re doing.”
“We do?” God, this is where it started. What did you do about two bodies except… “Call the police?”
“Maybe. Find your clothes first. You must see this isn’t straightforward?”
My reply came out so quiet. “I guess.” I glanced down at my white bra and panties and found my face warming. Dumb reaction. I clasped my knees and cleared my throat. I wasn’t normally a mouse. “I guess it’s complicated.”
Jodie padded over, now fully clothed, and hugged me. Inside I freaked—scared to bits she’d leap back and go,
I know what you did
. “We’ll get through this. Just listen to Klaus.”
“I am.” Despite the guilt, I hugged her back.
My thoughts were clearer now, the drug’s effects had lessened, and the bad memory bobbed back up and stayed there. The one that had been haunting me—the memory of me helping Leon hold Jodie down. Would I ever erase that?
I inhaled shakily. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” she murmured.