Beyond Broken (The Bay Boys #3) (29 page)

Caleb was crouched down in the dark corner of the second garage, staring at the rusted outline of his current work in progress.
 
He’d stripped it almost completely and the next thing he needed to do was some patch-up work.
 
He debated starting now, anything to take his mind off what just happened in his office with Maddie.

She’d been a fucking virgin, you sick bastard
, he thought, squeezing his eyes shut.
 
Remorse and revulsion hit him hard, making him want to vomit.
 
He hated himself.
 
He should’ve known, but how could he have?
 
She didn’t tell him.
 
Still, he should’ve known when she tensed up.
 
He just thought she needed time to get used to his size.
 
She’d been tight; he’d figured it had been a long time for her.
 
Now, he knew she’d been
too
tight.

“Fuck,” he whispered to the empty garage.
 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

He groaned, hating the images that assaulted his mind.
 
Images of her, perfectly beautiful and bound, lying down in front of him.
 
The way her whole body was flushed pink and the way those sweet, sweet lips parted for him.

And then he lost control.
 
Before Maddie, he hadn’t particularly cared whether a woman came before he did.
 
He didn’t care what they thought about him because the women he fucked he never saw again.
 
They were all one night stands, who understood exactly what they were getting themselves into.

But buried inside Maddie…seeing her delicate wrists bound, feeling the softness of her skin, and those perfect fucking breasts upturned just for him…he’d lost his fucking mind.
 
She hadn’t orgasmed.
 
And now, he realized just how painful it must’ve been for her.

He closed his eyes in remorse.
 
Why
didn’t she say anything?

He’d gotten pissed.
 
Pissed at himself for not realizing what was happening.
 
Pissed at her for not telling him.
 
Pissed for hurting her.
 
Pissed for wanting her so much.

And then he’d handled it badly.
 
He knew that.
 
He’d stormed out like a coward when he should’ve stayed.
 
He knew he’d eventually hurt her.
 
This was what he was afraid of.
 
He had a temper.
 
He got angry and then he said stupid shit that he couldn’t take back.

He knew that he needed to apologize, to explain himself.
 
He didn’t know if she’d forgive him because he didn’t
deserve
her forgiveness.

With a steadying breath, he pushed up from his crouch and made his way back towards the office.
 
He’d only been gone a few minutes.
 
Surely she hadn’t left yet.
 
Then he saw that her car was gone from the parking lot and his stomach dropped.
 
He ran up the metal staircase and burst through the door,
needing
her to still be inside.

The office was empty.

Her stuff was gone.
 
The space where they’d been moments before was bare, save for his discarded belt.
 
Panic flooded his veins and he snatched up his phone from the desk, only to realize that he didn’t even have her fucking
number
.

He knew someone who did though.

Dialing Luke’s number, he cursed when it went straight to voicemail.
 
Of course
, when Caleb actually needed to speak with him urgently, he didn’t pick up.

He left a voicemail.
 
“Luke, I need you to call me.
 
I need to talk to Kate.”
 
He sent a text for good measure and then paced in his office as he waited for a reply.

When he fucked up, he fucked up badly.

All he could think was that Maddie was innocent.
 
Pure.
 
Good.

Just as he feared, he’d tainted her.

TWENTY-FIVE

Maddie didn’t stay at home the next morning like she expected to.
 
The moment she’d woken up, her mind replayed, in painstaking detail, the events of the previous night and she knew, right off the bat, that she wouldn’t be able to sit on her couch all day and mope and cry.
 
She’d gotten a good amount of tears out of her system the night before, her eyes still a bit bloodshot and puffy because of it, but she felt surprisingly calm.

She was wary of that calmness though.
 
It felt like a facade.
 
It wasn’t real.
 
And sooner or later, it would be wiped away and she was afraid of what might be uncovered underneath.

Maddie went about her day as usual.
 
She got up, showered, ate, and went to campus, where she locked herself up in the library and applied to five different museum internship programs that she needed to complete for credits.
 
She briefly debated calling Christie to see if she knew of any programs, since the blonde worked as an assistant curator in a well-known art gallery.
 
She might have connections in the museum sector.
 
But then she remembered that Christie was one of Caleb’s friends—or at least, her boyfriend was—and thought better of it.

Diligently, she tried not to think of him too much.
 
Every now and again, a stray thought would creep in like slow molasses, but then she threw herself into another task.

When she finally pulled out her phone around three o’ clock in the afternoon, she was surprised how many missed calls and texts she had.
 
One call and voicemail was from her mother, whom she’d called the day before but missed.

“Hi sweetie, it’s me,” started the voicemail.
 
“Just checking in.
 
Why don’t you come over this weekend sometime so we can catch up?
 
I feel like it’s been ages since I saw you last and I’ll make your favorite, okay?
 
Love you and I hope you have a good day.”

Maddie smiled, her mom’s voice a comfort she desperately needed, at least until the next voicemail started.

“We need to talk, Maddie,” started a deep, familiar voice that sent shivers down her spine.
 
“Call me back.”

Her first thought: how in the world had he’d gotten her number?
 
But then she remembered that she’d given it to Kate and Caleb must’ve hunted her down for it.

Maddie looked around the library, half-expecting to see him there.
 
She was in a secluded corner with only a few students at separate desks dotted here and there.
 
The silence was almost oppressive, but Maddie liked it.
 
It felt like a cocoon; she felt safe.

When she noticed people looking at her, she flushed and turned down the volume on her phone, wondering if they could hear Caleb’s voice over the line.
 
When she pressed her phone to her ear again, she found another voicemail from him, which came in late last night, only a couple hours after the first.
 
“Maddie, please call me back.
 
I need to explain what happened.”

Maddie looked down at the table in front of her.
 
The space between her thighs still twinged uncomfortably whenever she shifted a certain way, a constant reminder of what happened.
 
Caleb didn’t need to explain anything to her.
 
She didn’t even know if she wanted to see him again, after what happened.
 
He’d made her feel worthless, something to be used and then discarded.
 
Even worse, she felt disappointed in herself.
 
She’d always prided herself on the fact that she wanted to wait for the right guy…only to throw her virginity at the first man who’d have her.

What I feel for you scares me
, he’d told her.

And she’d fallen for it.
 
Hook, line, and sinker.
 
A sour taste rose in the back of her throat.

She checked her text messages next.
 
There were a few from Kyra, asking her about her day yesterday and telling her about the date she’d had the night before.
 
Maddie made a mental note to call her later this evening once she finished in the library.
 
Another text was from Paul, saying that he was looking forward to their date tomorrow.
 
Biting her lip, she realized that she’d almost completely forgotten about it.
 
She’d need to call him later to postpone.
 
There was no way she’d be able to go through with it now.
 
Not in this state.

Another text was from her brother, telling her that he was going over to their mom’s house over the weekend as well and that he’d see her there.
 
Her fingers hovered over the screen, wondering if she should tell him that she’d found Caleb after all these years.
 
Surely, he’d want to know.
 
In the end, she decided against it.

The rest were from an unknown number, but Maddie automatically knew they were from him.

Call me.

We need to talk.

At least let me know you got home okay.

Maddie…

She ignored his text messages and set her phone aside, deciding to return to her work.
 
She had two papers she needed to get started on, both of them due in a few weeks for different classes.
 
Now that she wouldn’t be spending a few hours at the garage each night, she could get them done quickly.

Maddie worked for a half hour until her phone lit up on the desk with another incoming call.
 
Her heart stuttered in her chest when she recognized the number and looked around, as though anyone would be able to see that he was calling.

She ignored it, but five minutes later, it rang again.
 
She ignored it again, only for it to ring again almost immediately.
 
Frustration, confusion, anger made her accept the call and when she lifted it to her ear, she hissed, “What?”

“I’m losing patience, princess.
 
I can keep this up all day.”

“
Losing
patience?” she gaped, ignoring the way her heart skipped at the sound of his voice.
 
“You never had any to begin with.”

A couple people shot her looks, even when she was whispering, so she got up from her seat and scurried towards the bathroom, figuring that she may as well get this over with.
 
Maybe then she’d be able to put him out of her mind for good so she’d be able to focus on what was really important: her degree.

Keep your eye on the prize
, she thought.

With that in mind, she locked herself in a bathroom stall.

“Why didn’t you return my calls?” he demanded, his voice even more gravelly on the phone.

The truth was that she hadn’t checked her phone until this past hour, but she didn’t tell him that.
 
“I have nothing to say to you.”

A pause.
 
Maddie could almost imagine him running a hand through that thick hair.
 
She now knew just how thick and soft it really was.

“Will you come by later?” he asked her, his tone solemn.

“No.”

“I’m asking you to.”

“I know.
 
And I’m declining,” she told him, trying to remain detached.

“We need to talk,” he insisted.
 
“I need to explain…”

Her cheeks tinged with embarrassment and fury.
 
“There’s nothing for you to explain, Caleb.
 
I get it.
 
Trust me, I get it.”

“You don’t ‘get’ anything.
 
I need to—”

“You should be happy,” she told him, bitterness creeping into her tone.
 
She was done with this conversation.
 
“You got what you wanted.
 
And I let you, so there’s no one to blame, right?
 
We’re both adults and we made a choice.
 
It was the wrong one, at least for me.”

“Maddie, I—”

“Nothing messy.
 
That’s what you wanted,” she said, her voice softening.
 
“I’m making it easy for you, Caleb, so make this easy for me too.”

He was stubborn.
 
“I want to see you.”

“But I don’t want to see
you
.”

A brief silence.
 
Maddie bit her lip, staring at the fading blue door of the bathroom stall.
 
When he finally spoke, his voice was calm and determined, “I have $600 worth of your gift cards.”

She saw exactly where he was going with this and she stared at the door in disbelief.

“If you want them back, you’ll come see me once you’re done with your classes today.”

“You—you,” she stuttered.

“Have a good afternoon, princess.”

Then
he hung up
.
 
Maddie pulled the phone away from her ear, staring down at it in incredulity.
 
He’d just one-upped her.
 
And he knew it.

Now, she had to decide whether her dignity cost $600 worth of gift cards.
 
Unfortunately, she already knew the answer to that question.
 
But it didn’t mean that she’d give into him.

She’d go to the garage tonight on her way home, listen to what he had to say, hopefully say goodbye one last time to Brian and Peter if they were around, collect her gift cards, and leave.
 
She wouldn’t look back.
 
She had a plan.
 
And she’d always done well when she had a plan.