Beyond Broken (The Bay Boys #3) (27 page)

Caleb narrowed his eyes.
 
“I don’t think you like it, princess.
 
I think you love it.”

Maddie sucked in a breath.
 
“I do no—”

“Yes, you do,” he said, taking another step towards her until their bodies touched.
 
“I think you love this.
 
You need to be kept on your toes, don’t you?”

Briefly, her eyes unfocused and he knew he was right.
 
But when she spotted the smirk on Caleb’s features, she pushed him back.
 
“You’re delusional,” she said softly.

“I think we both know who the delusional one is here.”

Her gaze swung back to his.
 
“Why are you so jealous of Paul?”

He scowled, but the protest to her words died on his lips.
 
Instead, he said, “He irritates me.
 
You won’t be going out with him again.”

“You want to know what I think?
 
I think he scares you,” she declared, crossing her arms over her chest.
 
“I think you don’t want to admit to whatever the hell has been going on between us for the past two weeks.
 
But you know what?
 
It doesn’t matter anymore.”

The muscle in his jaw ticked in time with his pulse.
 
“And why’s that?”

“Because I’m done,” she said, looking up at him with those big brown eyes that got him into this mess in the first place.
 
At first, Caleb thought she meant she was done with their weird…whatever the hell they were doing.
 
But then she said, “I finished twenty minutes ago.”

His stomach dropped.
 
Caleb blinked and his eyes strayed to her work station, like the laptop and the makeshift desk would confirm her words.
 
“You’re done?”

Maddie nodded and looked down at the floor between them.
 
“Yes.”

Caleb’s first thought was:
I’m out of time
.
 
He wondered why he felt so surprised.
 
He knew that she’d be finishing up sometime this week, but it hadn’t truly been a concern because a part of him ignored the implications.
 
Now, they were staring him straight in the face.

Maddie would walk out that door tonight and there was no reason for her to come back.

Not unless I give her one
, he thought.

Caleb’s eyes strayed to the clock on the wall behind her.
 
It was nearing eight o’clock.
 
How could she be done already?

“No, I’m sure there’s other work,” he said, furrowing his brows, looking around at the office, searching for something.
 
Anything
.

Maddie bit her lip.
 
“Caleb…”

“How do I know the work you did is right?
 
What if I find something that doesn’t add up later?” he accused, something that felt suspiciously like panic bubbling up in his throat.

Those brown eyes knew exactly what he was doing.
 
It should unnerve him how much she understood him, how well she could read him.
 
He couldn’t bring himself to care.

“You’ll just have to trust me,” she said softly.
 
“And trust in my work.
 
I told you I was good.”

“Yes,” he said, scrubbing a hand down his jaw.
 
“Too good,” he murmured.

They stared at each other, only an arm’s length away.
 
Caleb watched as Maddie took a deep breath, steeling herself for whatever she was about to say.

“Won’t you just tell me, Caleb?” she pleaded quietly.
 
“It’s exhausting, what we’re doing.
 
Wouldn’t it be so much easier just to say it and stop fighting against yourself?”

His heart started thumping uncomfortably in his chest and a strange mixture of acceptance and resignation settled deep into his very bones.

It would be easy.
 
And yet it wouldn’t.
 
She had to understand that.
 
If he opened his mouth and said that he cared about her, that he didn’t want her to leave, that he wanted to see where whatever was between them went, he would be giving up some of the control he’d fought so desperately to hold onto for the past decade.
 
He’d offer her some of his power on a silver platter and need to trust that she wouldn’t misuse it.
 
His power was the only thing that had kept him sustained all these years.

She would make it so damn easy and so damn sweet to relinquish it.

Caleb’s lips parted, the words on the tip of his tongue.
 
His mouth closed.
 
Then opened.
 
Then closed.
 
Finally, he did speak, but to tell her, “I might not
ever
be able to fully trust you.
 
I’ve been stabbed in the back too many times to fully trust anyone.”

“You know I would never do that to you,” she said, her words tinged with defiant anger.

He wished that he could believe her words.
 
“That’s what they all say, at one point or another.”

“I’ll accept that you think you’d never be able to trust me,” she stated.
 
“But promise me one thing.
 
The moment that you realize you
do
, I want you to tell me.
 
At least then I’ll know.”

His chest ached at her words.

Drive her away
.
 
Do it.
 
Please.
 
Please.
 
Please!

His fists clenched at his sides, his mind screaming at him to end this.
 
End this while Maddie still looked at him with that soft look in her eyes, because he didn’t think he would be able to withstand it when that softness turned to ice.

His treacherous mouth didn’t do that.
 
“You’d let me kiss you right now, wouldn’t you?”

Her cheeks flushed.
 
Without missing a beat, she confirmed, “I would.”

Caleb swallowed, her words affecting him probably more than she realized.
 
“You like to be kissed, don’t you, princess?”

He’d said those words to her before, almost exactly where she was standing now, but that encounter had turned ugly.
 
Maybe a part of him was trying to warn her away, to remind her of the ugliness inside him, to give her one last chance to retreat before he ruined everything.

She didn’t even bat an eye, but her smile came easy.
 
“I like to be kissed by
you
.”

All his breath escaped him.
 
Her words were his breaking point.
 
He only had so much self-restraint.
 
Caleb stood as still as a statue as Maddie stepped forward.
 
He watched as she reached for him, her hands soft-looking and trembling, and placed her palms flat on his chest.

Caleb flinched at the contact, tensing, but allowed her exploration.
 
He let her touch him.
 
And for once, her touch didn’t remind him of darkness and shameful nights.
 
His eyes closed as she ran her hands up to his shoulders, then curve around the back of his neck, before delving into his dark hair.
 
He shuddered, but it wasn’t with revulsion.

“Caleb,” she whispered, face upturned, her hot breath fanning out over his lips.

His eyes were heavy on her.
 
She was so close.
 
All he had to do was lean down a few inches and then he would taste the sweetness of those lips for a third time.
 
Tension was building up inside him, bubbling up to the surface, inch-by-inch.
 
Caleb started trembling and then, with a lightening strike kind of realization, he recognized that he was terrified.
 
Fucking
terrified
of this beautiful woman, with her soft eyes and glorious hair and kitten heels, who took care of him when he was drunk and sassed him when he was being an asshole.

Finally, he rasped, “What I feel for you scares me.”

And then he kissed her because he couldn’t stand it any longer.

The tension building inside boiled over.

TWENTY-FOUR

Their kiss was all heat and urgency and grasping hands and swallowed gasps.
 
And Maddie thought that it was beautiful.

She felt light, untouchable, like nothing could hurt her, even Caleb.

“
What I feel for you scares me
,” he’d admitted.
 
And Maddie had felt happiness as though it was a declaration of love.
 
Perhaps she was naive.
 
More than likely she was.
 
She didn’t know anything about romantic relationships, but it didn’t stop her from surrendering herself completely to his kiss.

This
is what she’d needed to hear…some kind of quiet affirmation that he felt something for her.
 
That he cared for her.
 
That he wanted to be with her.
 
And those sweet words hung in her mind like an exquisite painting that brightened up an entire room.

When she’d finished up the last of her work, she’d felt a nervous uncertainty in the pit of her stomach.
 
For almost a half hour, she sat there, knowing that she should tell him that was she done, that her debt to him was paid off.
 
But every time she was on the verge of saying those words, the words that would sever what little ties they had to each other, her throat would close up.
 
The regret had already began to swamp her, regret for letting another chance with Caleb slip through her fingers.
 
She’d have no reason to see him again.
 
And she was far from ready to say goodbye.

So, as his palms slid up the material of her lavender blouse, bunching it up as he went, she let him.
 
All she could do was helplessly arch into him.
 
She never wanted to stop kissing him.
 
It felt too good.
 
He
felt too good, pressed up against her, all hard muscles and intoxicating warmth.
 
The moment his hands slipped under her blouse to feel her skin, he groaned and her heartbeat officially spiraled out of control.
 
Her breath came out in gasps and pants and finally she had to turn her head to the side to get air.
 
But Caleb didn’t stop kissing her.

Those firm, pouty lips that she loved travelled down her jaw to nibble on her neck.
 
The tip of his right ear brushed her cheek as he leaned down, sucking on her sensitive flesh like he wanted to devour her, and she turned her face and gently bit his earlobe.

Caleb shuddered.
 
“
Oh
fuck
.”
 
He stood, his eyes blazing, and he reclaimed her mouth in a punishing kiss, pushing her blouse up higher until his hands brushed the satin cups of her bra.

Their teeth clashed together, the intensity of their kiss surprising Maddie.
 
She loved it.
 
She felt out of control, reckless,
young
.
 
Was this the way her girlfriends had felt whenever they’d become obsessed about a man?
 
This all-consuming, completely crazy
need
?
 
Because surely she’d die if Caleb ever stopped touching her.

And when his fingertips pushed underneath her bra to stroke the heavy flesh there, she had to ask herself…
was she ready for where this moment would eventually lead?

A part of her wanted to shy away, to laugh with nervousness.
 
The other part recognized that
this was it
.

She wanted him.

She wanted this.

She would take whatever he had to give because she’d waited a long time.

And it had always been him…

She shut down stray, worried, warning thoughts and just let herself
feel
.
 
The strokes he gifted her breasts sent shivers down her spine and a rush of warmth pooled between her thighs.
 
It was like every nerve-ending in her body fired to life.
 
Everything was intensified.
 
Every brush of skin, every quiet desperate sound, every taste of his tongue was heaven.

When he got impatient and reached down to tug off her blouse, she helped him.
 
And after a flick of his fingers, her bra joined the small pile on the floor next to them.

He hissed out a breath when he saw her nipples pucker.
 
For a moment, she felt self-conscious as he stared down at them.
 
She’d never been naked—or at least half-naked—in front of anyone before.
 
She liked her body well enough.
 
She was an average weight, not too too big or too skinny.
 
Her stomach was soft, as were her hips, thighs, and arms.
 
Not jutting bones or harsh angles.

“Mmm,” Caleb murmured, brushing his thumb over her nipples.
 
Maddie gasped, feeling stabbing pleasure shoot between her legs.
 
Caleb leaned forward to capture her lips again as he pinched her flesh gently.
 
“Such perfect tits, princess,” he growled against her lips, cupping her breasts.
 
They fit perfectly in his palms.

“
Oh
,” was her only response as he played with her…
relentlessly
.

And when he ducked his head to suck on her nipples?
 
All she could think was
oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!

Foreign pleasure assaulted her.
 
His lips brushed over the sensitive peaks, teasing, and then he’d make her stomach tighten when his teeth scraped the delicate flesh.
 
It was maddening, a perfect combination of the sweetest pleasure and dark pricks of pain.
 
The space between her thighs was throbbing by the time he’d finished and returned to her lips, but his fingers wandered…down…down…down.