Betrayed (The Worshipped Series Book 2) (13 page)

The way he looked me over after my long shower did something to me. I could feel his gaze, caressed my body. That’s just crazy talk. How can I feel him touching me, if he’s only looking at me? But no matter how much I tell myself it isn’t possible I know what I felt and how it felt. And then when he said he was leaving something inside of me let go. I instantly knew what he wanted to do. Honestly I didn’t think twice about it and I didn’t wait for his command. I walked to the bed on my own accord and made myself comfortable. I never in my wildest dreams thought what I did without being told would affect Jason so much. 

I was awarded a smoldering hot and demanding kiss. It was one of the best kisses I had ever received from him and I loved it more than I care to admit to myself. I remember our tongues intertwining together and the power behind that kiss. It was breath taking. No matter how much I wanted to fight him, or my feelings for him, his kiss made it all disappear as if it never existed. How did he do that to me? 

I wasn’t expecting the sudden pressure he placed on my neck and I couldn’t help that damn moan from escaping my mouth as he kissed me deeper and with more passion than before. Again I felt that snap in my mind and body. I couldn’t really explain how it felt. It was more of coming to a realization and letting go of something.

I willingly let him kiss me until he handcuffed me to the bed. That is what brought me back to the real world. I know he didn’t miss the disappointment and hurt in my eyes when I looked at him. I didn’t want him to feel the need to keep me prisoner here. But at the same time, he and I both know I would run again given the chance. It was a battle within myself that I needed to let up. Either I was okay being here with him and let things happen or I could fight it and find my freedom all on my own. 

I can’t decide which of those options I really and truly want or need. 

Why does this man have so much power over me? I don’t understand it one bit and frankly, it is starting to frustrate me. I cannot figure him out. He’s hot and cold at the same time. One second he’s tender and loving, then the next he’s demanding and being an ass. Ugh men. 

On the other hand, maybe I am frustrated at myself. I believed him. I fell hook, line, and sinker to the lies he spoon-fed me. I should be angry at him. I should be fighting harder to get away from him, and not let him control me anymore. I hate all the lies he’s told me and I know there is more to it. He’s taken me from everything I hold dear. He continues to hold me captive like a damn prisoner. I fear I am suffering from a serious case of Stockholm Syndrome. I should hate his very being, but I don’t. I don’t want to love him. But I do. And knowing I do, makes the whole situation even more fucked up.  

I know some of the puzzle now. I know he is trying to keep me safe. Even if I don’t know everything, I do know he must care for me underneath all that rage and the mask he always has in place. I do believe if he wanted me dead, I would be dead. He wouldn’t be trying so hard to keep me here. Or, I could be totally wrong and this is just some sick and fucked up game to him. 

Coming to that conclusion, I let my head fall back against the headboard, feeling utterly defeated for the first time since Katie died. I hate not being in control of anything and the way I feel now is the exact same way I did when I let Katie die. 

I bang my head against the headboard a few more times to make all the horrible memories of my beautiful big sister go away. I can’t think of that. I push it down, way down to the place that I put all thoughts I can’t deal with. Jason has no idea how much torture this is to me. Not being able to keep my busy mind preoccupied with something else is killing me. I know he would never guess I deal with these thoughts all the time. To him I must seem composed and put perfectly together. Hell I made myself believe that for years. It’s funny how one thing can change in your life and make all those perfect lies disappear with a snap of your fingers. 

I shuffle back on the bed as far as I can go and try to stop thinking. Is it possible to stop all thoughts? I’m sure it is, but I don’t have to patience to learn how to mediate or whatever they do to make them stop. I know of one thing that will make them stop plaguing me, but I’m not sure that will be a good idea. Plus Jason turned me down once today and I don’t need that rejection again. Sex is always a go-to for me to get my brain to stop-with-your-bullshit now. Normally I will just use my handy dandy vibrator, but seeing as I don’t have it with me, I will have to use my fingers instead. 

It doesn’t take much convincing to get me primed and ready to go. It’s a little difficult to get situated since I am right handed and Jason decided to cuff my right hand instead of my left. Stupid man. 

I take off my panties very awkwardly and once they are at my ankles I kick them off to the floor. I don’t bother with my shirt since there is no way I’m getting it off. I slide down in the bed, trying to get into a comfortable position. I just lay here for a minute or two while I let my body relax. I have a lot of built up stress from the past few days.

 I take a few deep breaths and using my fingers start at my thigh. I slowly move my hand up and down using my fingertips to bring goose bumps on my skin. I close my eyes and I forget about everything. I can’t help the image of Jason’s hand replacing mine. It’s his hand now, stroking my inner thigh. It’s his hand that comes incredibly close to my pussy. I want him to touch me, but he is going to make me wait for it. I am wet for him and he groans in pleasure of seeing me wet for him. Only for him. I jerk on the handcuffs, wishing I had my other hand to play with my clit. I go back into my imaginary fuck session with Jason. He’s still running that hand up and down my inner thigh, and slowly making his way back up to my achy and needy pussy. My breath catches as he touches my clit with his forefinger. My imagination is very good. I can feel how rough his hands feel. The thickness of this fingers. I know it’s my hand that is touching me, but at the same time I am so far gone into lust, I can’t stop thinking of Jason’s hands on me. 

With my finger inside of me, I moan at the pleasure and sigh at the relief that I know is coming soon. Jason slowly pushes another one in me pushing in and out painfully slow. I don’t want it slow. I want it fast. I move my hips urging him to go faster. He moves his fingers up and down inside of me and I am getting close. So close to bliss it’s making me pant and sweat with the orgasm I want to let go of. Faster and now, a bit harder, he fucks me with his fingers. I open my legs wider as his fingers assault my pussy. I am moaning loudly now and I don’t care if the neighbors can hear me. I just want my release.

 I just want to come so badly I don’t hear the motel door open. 

I am so close to my orgasm and I don’t hear Jason walk into the room. When he drops whatever he is holding, my eyes snap open and I lock eyes with him. He catches me with my hand in the cookie jar. Literally.

I should be embarrassed. I should pull my fingers out of my pussy. My brain is telling me to do these things. But I don’t. I have at least stopped fingering myself. We are still in our looking daze. I know what he is seeing right now. I am spread eagle on the bed, fingers in my pussy, while my other hand is handcuffed to the bed. Hell, this is every man’s wet dream. 

He doesn’t move for the longest time. I think he might order me to stop like he did to me in the shower at our other motel room. I never expected him to come closer to me. I never expected him to stand at the foot of the bed. He is getting the best show in the house. My eyes never leave his while he moves. 

“Continue.” 

It only takes a second for his words to register in my mind. I should feel uncomfortable with him wanting to watch me finger fuck myself. I should feel angry he walked in on me right as I am to come. But I’m not. I’m turned on more than I was before. I keep my eyes on his and I start to move my fingers in and out of my pussy. I am soaking wet. This is so erotic and intimate at the same time. I open my legs as wide as they can go giving Jason the perfect show. I move my fingers in and out, faster and harder. I can’t help noticing Jason’s bulge in his pants growing. He wants me as much as I want him. This is nothing like before when I had sex with Jason. We never did anything like this before. Our sex was more…vanilla. This is so much more than before. This is unlike anything I have ever done in my entire adult life. 

I am panting hard, trying desperately to reach my goal. I want to come so fucking badly, but for some reason I’m not reaching the home plate. I don’t understand why I can’t find my release. I am getting frustrated at myself. Jason seems to notice it as well. He is panting right along with me and he mirrors my tension as I am waiting for my big orgasm to make its appearance. I raise my hips to each thrust of my fingers and my orgasm is right there at its peak. I need something. I need more? Fuck I don’t know what I need, but I need to come now before I explode. And not in a good way. 

Jason grins at me like he is hiding a secret that I know nothing about. Which is ironic since there is many secrets he is keeping from me. This secret though is one that makes him gleam with pride. Then he says three little words and my world changes. 

“Come for me.”

Who knew being commanded to come will make you feel the way I do. The world seems to stop as I have the best orgasm of my life. It goes on and on. I don’t think it will ever stop. My body feels almost numb and chills break out all over my skin. I all but yell out as my orgasm continues to roll through me. My legs shake from it being so intense. Holy fuck. 

When I finally come down from my mind blowing orgasm, I open my eyes to see Jason walking over to me. I slowly take out my fingers from my wet pussy and let my legs relax. I am still breathing hard as he sits down on the bed beside me. He grabs my hand and I gasp as I see him put my middle finger and ring finger in his mouth. Jason licks and sucks my fingers clean. That is the sexiest thing I have ever seen. He moans at my taste and my pussy clenches wanting his hot mouth on my achy pussy now. 

How can he make me feel this way? I’m not supposed to want him. I’m supposed to be keeping a distance not falling head over heels in lust with him. Damn him for being so goddamn sexy. When he is satisfied that my fingers are clean, he takes them slowly out of his mouth and places my hand on his thigh. I am not sure if he set my hand there for a reason or not. But I decide to be bold and I slowly move my hand up his thigh. I look at him through my lashes and he has his eyes closed. He is breathing heavily and I can tell my touch is affecting him. 

When his eyes open, I see nothing but burning desire in them. His dark brown eyes look darker and his pupils are dilated. I move my hand closer and closer to his hard cock that’s straining in his pants. It looks painful to me. I never leave his eyes as I firmly grab him in my hand through his pants. He groans loudly at my touch and I feel a rush of power go through me. My touch is making this powerful and dangerous man act this way. It’s my touch that will make him come undone and call out my name. 

I fumble to get his pants unbuttoned since I am only using one hand. He quickly gets up and in one swift motion, his pants are around his ankles. My breath catches in my throat at the sight of his cock inches away from me. I have a sudden urge to have him in my mouth. It’s so uncontrollable I feel like I am foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog. I lick my lips trying to take my gaze away from his cock. It’s long and thick. I can see the veins on his shaft and it bobs up and down from my attention.  

I want to move closer to make Jason put his cock in my mouth but he doesn’t move. He is right next to me but he doesn’t make a move for me to suck and please him. 

Wait. Please him? Is that what I want to do? 

I don’t think any more of that nagging thought. I don’t want to lose my nerve and I am full of lust right now. Nothing will make me stop at this point. I am too far gone to give a shit. I will deal with the consequences later. 

“You want my cock don’t you?” Jason asks me in a husky voice. I do want it. I want it like nothing I have wanted before. I don’t speak, but I nod my head instead. I can’t form the words anyway. My brain has left the building and my inner goddess is stalking around in her birthday suit to him. She has taken over and for once in my life, I lose control. 

Jason must have realized what is happening to me. He moves to the bed kneeling in front of me cock in his hand. I move up in the bed and I look to him for what is next. 

“Suck my cock,” he hisses out at me. 

I don’t waste a second. I start to lick his hard cock base to tip. I use my tongue to slowly lick and suck in the head of him just a little in my mouth. He hisses out through his teeth at me. I love the sounds he makes when I do that. Using my free hand, I firmly grab his cock, moving up and down. I put the head of his cock in my mouth sucking as hard as I can. I take my time as I use my hand to pump his hard rigid cock and I take him in my mouth farther and farther. 

“Fuck yes,” Jason calls out. 

His head rolls back as I work him up and down. I do this to him a few more minutes. He slaps my hand off his cock and grabs a hold of my head. He has a fist full of hair and he starts to control how I suck him. He controls how deep I take him. He pushes my head on him fast and so deep I gag. It brings tears to my eyes but I don’t think anything of it. I’m on a high right now listening to the sounds he is making. He is moaning and I telling me how good I am sucking him off. I have to use my hand to hold on to his waist he is pumping in to my mouth so fast now. I relax my throat for him, and I suck harder on his cock.