Betrayals in Spring (29 page)

I hop to my feet. “What took you so long?”

My worry dissolves at the twin expressions of merriment flitting across their features. They’re laughing within seconds, dragging Brittany and I into the bedroom where we left Greer and Nat.

Greer kicked the covers away from her feet at some point, dangling her legs over the side of the bed from the knee down while staying buried under the blankets from the waist up. Underneath her feet are piles of dead flowers. Mostly daisies, from what I can tell, with maybe a pansy or two thrown in for good measure. It
is
funny, the way they make waste, and I remember the boys have never seen her do it. But one glance at her face kills my amusement.

Her pretty face sinks in under the eyes and cheekbones, leaving dark spots where healthy plumpness used to be. The golden hair, usually glowing and bouncy, lays limp and greasy around her face, and her legs look weak. And they’ve only been here a few days.

Nat looks worse than she does, and there’s no evidence of waste on his side of the bed. I have no idea how the Others make it, or if they have to. Maybe it’s something they can turn off in dire situations. I know from my multiple experiences with injuring Others that they slip into an involuntary sleep state while healing, so Nat could be fine. Except he looks worse than Greer does, skin completely white. His hair has turned white, too, black veins visible underneath his skin. The covers near his face are crusted with black blood.

“What’s wrong with her?” Brittany’s eyes are glued to Greer’s face, no amusement evident in her, either.

I cross the room, smoothing my friend’s hair back onto the pillow, leaning close enough to verify that life still moves through her body. The soft tickle of breath on my cheek brings tears to my eyes, and I pick up her limp hand, pressing it to my cheek. “It’s hard to explain. This is Greer. That’s Nat.”

“Is he a Warden?” She draws back, looking from Nat to the three of us as though we’ve tricked her. “What’s he doing here?”

“He’s not like the rest of the Others. He and Greer are sort of courting. They tried to kill him when they found out, so we saved him, too. He won’t hurt you,” Lucas answers. “They’re alive. Griffin, too, but he looks about as bad as she does.”

Brittany looks unconvinced, staying rooted to the spot while we leave the room. She follows after a moment, joining us in the living room, but pins the three of us with a stare that says she means business.

“I want an explanation right now. If I’m going to take care of them, I need to know what’s going on. All of it.”

After we tell her about the Sidhe and Nat, and how they fell into our care, she still wants to stay. We’re all exhausted, but Pax is the only one brave enough—or maybe tired enough—to crawl into bed beside Griffin in the other room. Brittany collapses onto the sofa, covering up with the hateful scratchy blanket I’ll never be sorry to leave behind, and her breathing evens out within minutes. It’s been a long couple of days for all of us.

Lucas took Wolf out to do his business, and maybe to hunt up some breakfast for tomorrow morning. He said he didn’t think he could sleep yet after everything that had happened, but they’ve been gone for a while now. I don’t think I can rest until they’re both back inside.

I don’t feel like piling my outerwear back on, instead wrapping a blanket around me to fight the night breeze as I crack open the front door. The sight of Lucas sitting on the front steps, watching Wolf romp in the grass, gives me pause. His shoulders tense, so I know that he’s heard me come outside, but he doesn’t turn around or ask me to sit.

I do anyway, plopping down as gracefully as possible while wrapped in a blanket. His familiar chill brushes against my cheeks but doesn’t penetrate my protective layer, and for once I kind of wish that it did. On the other hand, if he’s about to say he’s tired of waiting, that I missed my chance and he doesn’t feel the same way anymore, maybe it can shield me from the pain.

Probably not.

It’s only been a couple of days since he held me and whispered how he felt while the night breathed around us. But things have happened, and it feels more like weeks, or even years, have slipped past. Lucas might have decided we shouldn’t talk about the future, after all. Or he could have been so accepting in the woods the other day because he thinks I want to be with Pax, and gave up waiting.

But I’ll never be able to live without telling him the words stirring inside me, climbing up into my mouth and begging to be shared. Even if it’s not going to work out, if he’d rather get through all this and Partner with someone else, I’m going to say them. They refuse to remain unspoken another day, another hour.

We might only have tonight, or tomorrow. I don’t want to die knowing Lucas wonders if I love him, too.

Before I can swallow enough of my nerves to figure out how to begin, he reaches over and digs under my blanket until he finds my hand, then holds it gently between his palms. My fingers go stiff and icy until I push some warmth down to them to even us out.

“Lucas.”

“No, wait. Let me.” He doesn’t look at me, so I stare at the way his Adam’s apple bobs as he speaks. “I shouldn’t have tried to push you the other night, tried to make you promise a future you can’t see. Or don’t want. If the reason things can never go back to you and me is because your future is you and Pax, I can learn to handle it. If I would have kept my feelings to myself, it wouldn’t be awkward or hard between us.”

He faces me now, sadness warring with desperation in his ice blue gaze. “We’ve never had a hard time being together, Althea. That doesn’t have to change, and I’m sorry if—”

I press my lips tentatively against Lucas’s, cutting off his words. His sharp intake of breath gives away his surprise, but his hesitance is evident in the way his arms twitch but refuse to wrap around me the way I’d like.

The kiss is short, and really my way of shutting him up before he makes everything harder. It’s still not easy for me to pull back, and I don’t go far, scooting closer until our noses almost touch. I remember the first night we met, how Lucas grabbed my wrist and leaned toward me until his face nearly brushed mine. I should have been terrified, but all my heart felt was a racing anticipation.

Like now, only I feel a bit more nauseous over the prospect of losing him now that I’ve had the chance to have him. He doesn’t speak again, merely stares into my eyes with a serious expression.

“I want to tell you something.”

He quirks an eyebrow, and I try to smile through the flock of giant birds trying to escape my belly.

“I knew the moment I saw you in Portland that I never wanted to be apart from you again. But you were angry, and then you were…different. And I’m different, too, and you left and I wondered if you’d ever come back.” I shake my head when he opens his mouth to interrupt. “What I’m saying is that it was never about Pax. And that even though the world around us barely looks like the one we lived in last autumn and we’ve changed, my feelings haven’t. I love you, too.”

His eyes go wide, but he doesn’t move. The world kind of tips, the way it did the first time he kissed me, and the edges go black. My heart pounds in my ears and breath struggles to escape my lungs, and when I can’t help it anymore, I let the tears come. “If it’s too late, I understand. I should have said something the other night, but I was scared, and—”

Lucas’s strong arms go around me, tugging me hard against his chest while his head drops, pressing our cheeks together. For the first time, I recognize the feeling I get inside his embrace, and it’s akin to the way I felt the first time I cupped fire in my palm without getting burned.

As though I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.

“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry, Althea.” His words shake, cool air moving strands of hair against my neck. He lets me go, keeping his hands on my shoulders so I have to look at him.

He needn’t worry. I may never look away from him again. “You say you love me, Lucas, and you understand things changed, but you don’t know everything that happened last season.…”

I stop when he shakes his head, mouth pulled down into a frown. “I don’t like it, Althea, and I certainly don’t want to hear about it. But that was then. It doesn’t matter now. I don’t care what happened before, and I know we’ve got things to figure out. Just..…say it again.”

He closes his eyes and I take the opportunity to drink him in. Blond hair, longer now and curling below his ears. Pale skin, touched a healthy pink by the chilly breeze. Strong chest and shoulders, covered only by a thin T-shirt while I’m wrapped up like it’s the dead of winter.

I shrug the blanket off my shoulders, on fire inside from the moment. The air freezes droplets of sweat to my skin, but that has nothing to do with the shivers zipping down my spine as I place a hand on Lucas’s chest and slide it across his muscles, up to the back of his neck. My fingers twist blond curls as I lean in, until our mouths are a hair from touching.

I tell myself it doesn’t matter anymore how many tomorrows we have, because from now on we’ll spend our todays together. I can almost believe it’s true.

The cold of his breath quickens, collides with my gasped heat. “I love you, Lucas. I love you, I love you, I love—”

This time he forces
me
to stop talking when he kisses me, slowly, as though we have all the time in the world. We don’t, but for a long while, we pretend as though we do.

CHAPTER 24.

The next morning, I wake before Lucas. We’re curled together in the big recliner, and though it’s just wide enough to fit both our bodies, we pretty much spent the night plastered against each other. It didn’t feel quite close enough, after all the nights we’ve spent apart.

I know he’s awake when he can’t fight the threatening smile, and one breaks over my own face in response. His pine scent barely registers when he’s relaxed like this, and I nuzzle a little bit closer and breathe deep, the soft morning light settling around us.

“Good morning.”

“Hi,” I whisper back, covering my mouth with my hand. My breath tastes awful.

His eyes crinkle at the corners. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” My cheeks heat up, and when he tries to pry my hand away I clamp it tighter across my lips.

When his fingers drop to my rib cage instead, my hand abandons my mouth to thwart his tickling. He takes advantage of my free lips and kisses me until I forget my name. At least until I hear it.

“Althea! You have got to be kidding me.” Brittany looms over us, hands on her hips, head cocked to the side. “I said your name
three times
. Pax is awake. I thought you’d like to know.”

She smirks and walks to the door, opening it for Wolf before disappearing into the kitchen. Lucas tries to drag me under the blanket again, with his smell and cool body the way he’s nibbling on my lower lip, but I push him away. Swatting at his smug smile, I climb out of the chair and escape into the cleansing room to collect myself.

A glance in the mirror reveals a horrifying combination of fuzzy teeth, sleep-tangled hair, and too-red cheeks. I scrub my face down with cold water, then brush my teeth for ten minutes and slip into a semiclean pair of jeans and a hoodie. Once my faithful used-to-be-white tennis shoes are tied, I think about putting my hair into a ponytail but leave it down when I remember how it makes Lucas light up.

I’ll put it up before we leave for the Underground Core. It’ll be in the way if I don’t, but being openly happy about the love between Lucas and me makes me feel as though I could float away. I’m not ready to give up the euphoria just yet and come back to Earth. Even if it’s only going to last five more minutes, I’ll take them.

In the kitchen, Pax is trying to show Brittany how to skin a rabbit Wolf must have brought in from his morning hunt. It doesn’t appear to be going all that well, since she’s halfway across the kitchen while he holds the bloody carcass in the sink. Lucas sits at the wobbly kitchen table, eating baked beans out of a can with a spoon. He gives me a warm smile, then resumes watching the morning’s entertainment.

“I’ll eat what’s in the pantry. I am not touching that thing. Or any other things that used to be alive.” Brittany crosses her arms in front of her chest.

Pax sighs. “You’ll need fresh meat, and Wolf won’t stop bringing it to you.”

“He can eat it outside.”

“Fine.” Pax skins the rest of the rabbit, then dismembers it and cuts it into neat chunks. When he turns and sees me lurking in the doorway, his slow smile appears. “Morning, Summer.”

“Morning.” I nod at the rabbit parts. “I’ll cook those before we leave. They should keep a few days. Unless Wolf eats them all or it really starts warming up.”

“Don’t bother. I’m not eating that.”

This time I’m the one who sighs. Gratitude at Brittany’s willingness to leave home, to come and help us, wears thin with every obstinate flash of her pale eyes. “Things are different out here, Brittany. You’re going to have to adapt.”

She doesn’t answer as she storms past me back into the living room and flops on the musty couch. The boys wisely stay in the kitchen while I roast the rabbit, and nothing interrupts the crackling of fire until Brittany’s stomach growls at the scent wafting off the dripping meat.