The next morning, Pax is gone when the first rays of light slip through the curtains and pry open my eyes. Not many hours have passed since I closed them, but as soon as I wake, worry bounces around in my empty stomach. Going back to sleep would be impossible, so instead I use the cleansing room. I smell a little; maybe I’ll ask Pax to help me fill the basin with water when he gets back. Wolf is gone, too; they must be out walking or hunting.
Munching on a can of black beans, I settle back in the living room, where the maps on the table call my name. I search them until I find Rapid City again, and then locate Deadwood. It’s not far like if we were in Portland or something, but Greer’s estimation of close isn’t too spot on, either. It takes me an hour or so, tracing the routes Pax and I took from Des Moines out west and estimating the days we spent walking, to figure that right now, at the cabin, we’re at least a day’s walk from the Underground Core.
Not to mention that Rapid City looks like a big place, and since I’m assuming the Underground Core is, in fact, underground, we’ll need time to find it.
The murmur of voices outside the front window pulls my attention from the maps. At first I think perhaps it’s Pax talking to Wolf, but an answering, indistinct baritone jumps my heart into my throat. Could Lucas be back so soon?
I leap to my feet, crossing the room and throwing open the front door, forgetting the fact that I’m still in sleep shorts and a thin top until the cold morning greets me. The sight of Griffin next to Pax on the porch presses heavy disappointment around me and I cross my arms in front of my chest to try to hide my reaction. “What are you doing here?”
“It’s nice to see you, too, Red.”
“Don’t call me that.”
Griffin doesn’t answer, but looks at Pax as though he’s in charge of reining me in. The rising sun glints off Pax’s shining brown hair as it falls over his forehead, and he peeks at me from under it as though he’s worried I’m going to tell him his friend has to go home. It makes me smile in spite of myself, but then a shiver clacks my teeth together.
Pax stands up fast, whipping off his coat and wrapping it around my shoulders. “Here. Greer told Griffin I wanted to talk to him, that’s all.”
“So what are you talking about?”
“Honestly?” Pax’s eyes slide to Griffin, then back to me. “Mostly guy stuff. But Griffin did tell me Lucas is doing okay, and that we’re pretty close to Deshi.”
It’s my turn to cut a questioning glance at Griffin, who gives me a wide, innocent expression that doesn’t belong on his face. Apparently he’s not going to tell Pax about my unauthorized hive visit. Then a wicked smile takes over his mouth, and I rethink the assumption. Maybe he’s just not going to tell until it suits him.
“Summer, did you hear me?”
“What? Oh, yeah. That’s good.”
“Spill. What’s on your mind?” Pax pins me with a stern look. It says the two of us are a team, and secrets aren’t part of the bargain.
Finding him out here, spending time with Griffin instead of me, rankles but I’m not sure why. I think it’s because Lucas left me, and maybe for good. And even though I know now that my feelings for Pax last winter weren’t the lasting kind, I don’t want to lose him. He’s my friend and having him pull away and leave me alone, too, clutches my heart with a kind of fear I haven’t felt since before I met Lucas last autumn.
The sudden need to do something—anything—besides sit here wondering if or when Lucas will return bursts through me until I pace across the porch, unable to stay still. I pull out my ponytail and put it back tighter, then blurt out the first thing that comes into my mind. “I think we should go check on Leah, see what she’s found out. Now. Today.”
“What?” Confusion knits Pax’s eyebrows together, giving him a slightly comical look, but it doesn’t make me laugh. “Why?”
Griffin watches our exchange with slight interest, taking what he thinks are small, unnoticeable steps backward.
I point a finger at him without taking my eyes off Pax. “Stop right there, Griffin. You’re going to help.”
He halts but doesn’t respond, and I realize that if he’s going to transform into a bird and take off, there’s nothing I can do about it. Instead, I focus on convincing Pax. “Because we promised her we would, for one thing. For another, she might have learned something that could help—don’t look at me like that, I don’t know what—and last, we can’t sit around here doing nothing. We’re running out of time.”
To my surprise, Griffin hasn’t bolted. He doesn’t look pleased at being ordered around, but when I turn my attention his direction, he shrugs. “I don’t have anything better to do today. And if you fail and the Others leave…what does that mean for my sister and me? I don’t know, and I doubt the Prime cares. And that doesn’t sit well with me.”
As I’ve always suspected, leveraging Griffin’s help is as simple as finding a way to make the situation about him. But I’ll take it. “I’ll go get dressed.”
***
Five minutes later Pax and I are back on the porch, and Griffin stands close to the pond, his back to us. It dawned on me while inside that I shouldn’t have said anything about Leah in front of him. He didn’t know about her, and it’s best if he doesn’t know that we can unveil humans. If he’s compromised somehow, the Prime can find out.
I guess it’s too late now, and we’ll just have to be more careful going forward.
I study him in the stolen moment, the way the spring sunshine soaks into his hair and clings to the grass green of his shirt, making it easy to see how Griffin blends so effortlessly into the environment. Even now, in human form, he seems more a part of the landscape than someone moving through it.
“You sure about this? What if Lucas comes back while we’re gone?” Pax stands close enough that his scent, out of place in this season, tangles in my hair.
“I left him a note in the kitchen. We won’t be gone that long, I think a day at the most, depending on whether or not Leah’s got anything to tell us.” I crouch down and scratch Wolf behind the ears. “Not more than a day, buddy. You’ll be okay.”
Despite the elements, we leave the front door cracked so that Wolf can get in and out. It looks like the snow has dried up, and the clear skies buoy my faith.
Griffin turns at the sound of our footsteps, a faint smile on his face. “Ready?”
Pax turns to me. “Are you sure we should go now? Given that it’s daytime?”
When he and Lucas marched into Portland last winter everyone saw them for what they are—Dissidents, something not human—and freaked out. If nothing has changed, we can’t wander through the Danbury streets without leaving unveiled, panicky humans in our path.
I nod so he knows I understand, but say nothing more about it. As far as we know, neither Griffin nor Greer knows about our ability to undo the mind control the Others exercise over humans. It’s better that they don’t, and not only because I’m not sure I trust Griffin. They can’t protect their minds the way we can, and that ability is the last secret we have.
Griffin watches us both while pretending he’s not. It almost makes me smile, and I force a nonchalant shrug. “It’s okay. We’ll be careful, like the last time.”
We could wait, but now that we’re here and Griffin is semiwilling, I’m more anxious than ever. When I nod at the unpredictable Sidhe, he spreads a hole in the late-morning air using his hands, then motions us through.
This time he steps through behind us, which surprises me more than a little but there’s nothing I can do about it. He comes and goes where he pleases, and if he wants to spend the day in Danbury, he’s going to do just that. It does complicate things, though, since he can’t be around when we talk to Leah.
We’ve stepped through in the park near the boundary, and the morning is quiet. Green tufts of grass sprout here and there among the carpet of brown, and the air smells different than it did several weeks ago. It’s not pure cold anymore, but carries the scent of wet earth and a hint of warmth on the blustery breeze—the promise that spring is here, even if the temperature is still cold enough to leave me clutching my coat tighter around me.
It’s quiet, and I realize I have no idea what day it is, whether Leah will be at Cell or at home. Griffin rolls his eyes when I glance his way with what’s surely a helpless expression on my face.
“It’s Friday.”
“Okay. We have to wait for free hour, then.”
“Why not just go to Cell and talk to her at lunch?” The suspicious sound of the question tells me Griffin didn’t miss the fact that Pax and I are hiding something from him—which might be the reason he’s decided to join us. Or he wants to meet Leah.
“We don’t know if the Others have instructed the Monitors to keep an eye out for us, and there’s no point in taking chances.” The excuse feels flimsy even to me. Being here doesn’t dull the feeling I’ve had all morning, the one that tickles my legs with impatience when I think about just twiddling our thumbs.
“Fine. You two sit on your hands if you want, but I’m going to take a look around. Maybe find something to eat.” Without another word Griffin shimmers and shrinks; his body compacts further and further until he disappears.
“Where’d he go?” I ask, looking around, expecting to find an animal of some sort.
A tiny insect—a fly, maybe—lands on my hand and I shake it off before I realize it’s Griffin. He disappears from view a moment later, leaving Pax and me alone.
“You sure we can’t risk sneaking into Cell?” Pax asks.
I can tell the idea of doing nothing for the next four or five hours doesn’t appeal to him, either. “I don’t see how we can justify it, honestly.”
“Because of what happened—”
He stops talking when I give a tight shake of my head and press a finger against my lips. Griffin might have said he was leaving, but he’s too small to see and could be trying to eavesdrop. Understanding lights Pax’s face; we amble toward the center of the park and plop down on the merry-go-round. The rusted metal seeps cold through my jeans and I huddle closer to Pax to warm up.
An hour later, I can’t stand it anymore, even though it’s probably barely past midday, and jump up. Pax watches as I stretch out my legs and redo my ponytail. “Let’s go into the city.”
“What if someone sees us?”
“Who’s going to see us? Cell is in session, the Wardens are in Rapid City and at the Harvest Site dealing with Apa’s bad decision, and the adults will all be working at home.” What I really want is a hot shower, but I can’t risk Mr. Morgan. His brain won’t be able to explain away the sound of running water when he’s living alone. Not anymore.
“True.” Pax runs his fingers through his mop, which needs a wash, and stands up. “Okay, fine. I’m tired of sitting around, too.”
As much as I miss Lucas, it’s nice being with Pax right now and having the ability to make a decision without a fight. This is a small risk, and one that’s not worth an argument.
He follows as I lead the way. We take care to sneak through backyards and alleys instead of walking down the streets, where cameras watch at short intervals. My feet find the path to Cell out of habit, and once the redbrick building comes into view, my heart almost longs to be back inside. It wasn’t better, my life then, but it was peaceful and ordered.
I give my head a physical shake. That’s exactly what the Others believe they’re giving humans. Peace and order. Safety.
Until they leave and let them all die.
We approach from the side of the building; it faces an empty lawn and there aren’t any doors with cameras with blinking red lights. I sink down onto the damp ground underneath a cracked open window, the hard lines of the bricks pressing through my sweatshirt and coat. Pax slides down beside me.
“So, we’re going to sit here instead of in the park?” he whispers with a faint smile.
I return it and point up toward the window. After a moment, the sounds of students entering the Cell room crawl outside. Desks scrape the floor, bags rustle, and finally the Monitor begins the lesson. It might be that I was looking for familiarity, or maybe a reminder of why we’re doing this—fighting. All I know is there’s something comforting about being close to my old Cellmates again, and there’s reassurance in knowing that even though we’re causing trouble in the Wilds and in the hive, the Others aren’t taking it out on the humans.
Maybe it should be the opposite of reassuring, though. If they’re not changing anything in the Sanctioned Cities, the Prime must not be too worried about our tiny resistance.
My eyes slip closed as the lecture begins, then finds its place in my memory—we’re outside the astronomy room. It’s the same lesson we had the day Greg Broke, and the memory of Zakej—disguised as Deshi—brutally killing one of my Cellmates for questioning the Others’ motives on Earth spins a chill down my spine.
Fifty minutes later, the students exit. More enter. The lecture repeats.
We listen to the exact same astronomy lecture three more times, for three separate groups of kids, until Cell releases them for their free hour. We wait until it’s quiet, then sneak to Leah’s through backyards.
She spots us a while later when we wave at her from the side of her house.
Her face lights up and she hurries over, glancing over her shoulder a couple times. “Hey! What are you guys doing here?”
She grins at us both, clearly excited to see us, and it warms me from the inside out. “We had a couple of days and wanted to come and see if you’ve found out anything. And to tell you we found Lucas, and he’s okay.”
Visible relief crawls from her face down to her hands, which unclench at her sides, and it strikes me again how she must have cared for Lucas while he lived here. That maybe she still does.
Then Leah shoots a shy look Pax’s direction and I reconsider. “Good. That’s great. And I do have a few things to tell you—nothing concrete, but a good place to start, I think.” Leah looks down at her watch, nerves tightening her smile. “I’ve got to go. I’ll wait for you after my parents retire, okay? Come upstairs?”
I nod, but she reaches out and grasps my hands. “Promise you won’t leave until we talk.”
“I promise, Leah. We came to talk to you; we’re not going anywhere until we do.”