“Are you trying, love?”
Their spectators hooted at that. Bart, the club Intelligence Officer and the youngest patch, called out, “Oh, snap!” Isaac spared an angry glance his way, and Bart took a step back. Good. Shithead.
Despite his worry about her, he was starting to get a little pissed. “Don’t goad me, baby. I can make sure you pay.” He saw her getting cocky, losing a sliver of that intense focus. When she dropped her guard, he was ready, and he came in with a jab to her midsection. He’d meant to pull, but by then he only had half an idea he’d connect, and he wasn’t being as careful as he wanted to be. He connected, nearly full power, and sent her to the mat on her back, breathless.
“Shit! Sport, I’m sorry. You okay?”
She kipped up to her feet—impressing the hell out of him and everyone watching—and grinned. “That’s what I’m talking about! Let’s do this!”
The pace picked up a lot then. When she connected after that, there was some pop behind it, and Isaac was taking more of a beating than he wanted to let on. She never let her guard down again, and he never got another good swing in. Finally, she ended the fight by sweeping his feet out from under him after he’d missed with a hook. The crowd erupted when he landed on his back. He stayed down, not because he couldn’t get up, but because the whole encounter had him about nuts, teetering wildly between concern and competition. She was strong and skilled and obviously could more than hold her own, but the mere thought of hurting her was more than he could deal with.
“Giving up, love?” She bounced over to him, keeping just out of reach of his hands and feet. Even now, even when he was on his back, she was vigilant. The woman had focus.
“What can I say? You bested me, Sport.” He sat up and held out his hand to her. She gave him a distrusting look, and he turned his palm up. “No trick, baby. You won.” She took his hand and he came to his feet. When he was up, he grabbed her and pulled her close. Dripping sweat now, she smelled even better to him, like sex incarnate. “That was foreplay, right?” Gripping her head in his hands, he bent down and kissed the sass out of her, not stopping until she relaxed completely against him. The crowd exploded in howls, whistles, and cheers. He released her head and grabbed her hand. “Okay, folks, show’s over.” Bending to Lilli’s ear, he whispered. “We need to get to my office.”
With a laugh and a toss of her long, chestnut ponytail, she slid between the ropes and jumped to the floor. Badger, one of the new Prospects, handed her a towel. When Isaac landed behind her, he took a towel, then grabbed Lilli’s hand again and pulled her out of the bays and down the hall to his office, ignoring everybody else. His hand on the small of her back, he sent her into the dark, windowless room ahead of him, then locked the door behind them and flipped the switch that turned on the lamp on the bookcase. She was on him as soon as she turned around, and they kissed fiercely for several brilliant seconds, but then he held her off. They had some air to clear first.
“What was that about, Lilli?”
She looked honestly confused. “What do you mean? That was just some fun.”
“Not for me, no. And there was more to it than that. What’s up?” He’d been thinking about it the whole time they were dancing in the ring. She’d had a look about her—contentious, somehow. It had felt off to him. He brushed the damp strands of hair from her temples. God, she was beautiful. “What’s goin’ on, baby? Tell me.”
She huffed and backed away, walking across the room to sit on the couch. “I don’t know. I guess I need you to see that I can take care of myself again. I don’t need a bodyguard, Isaac. You haven’t been hearing me, so I wanted you to see it instead, I guess.”
Ah. Isaac went over and sat next to her, laying his hand on her thigh. “Have I been hovering?” He knew the answer. He’d had a hard time leaving her since their confrontation with Ray Hobson. When he’d had no choice but to go, he’d left one of the other patches, or a Prospect, with her. She’d hated that. But she was recovering from serious injury. She’d almost died. And he needed to keep her safe. It was his fault she’d been hurt in the first place.
She had a point. He knew she did. He understood. But she needed to understand him, too. “Okay. Fair enough. You can take care of yourself. I get it. I’ll back off some. But you have to understand me, Lilli. You don’t know what it was like to sit next to that bed, with you so still and pale, not knowing if you’d ever be with me again. I can’t lose you, Sport. Shit’s about to get insane around here, and I have to keep you safe.”
The look she gave him was frustrated, but indulgent. With a little laugh, she laid her hand on his. “You can’t keep me safe, Isaac. Especially not when things get insane. You know what I can do. You know the skills I have. I can handle myself.”
“Hobson got the better of you, Lilli. He almost killed you.” As soon as he said it, he regretted it. Lilli was suddenly all cold fury. And he knew it was a shitty thing to say. She’d been racked with self-doubt when she’d come out of the coma and realized how close she’d come to failing at her mission to kill Hobson. It had been Isaac who’d killed him, who’d stopped him from torturing her while she bled out. She’d hated that she’d had to be rescued and that someone else—even Isaac—had completed her job. He’d talked her down from that ledge. And now here he was dangling her off it himself. In the months they’d been together, Isaac thought that this was the first time he’d actively hurt her, said something aimed at a weakness. And he’d gone for a very tender spot. What an asshole.
She was rigid with anger now, her arms crossed and her hands curled into fists. But she hadn’t gotten up from the couch yet. He squeezed her thigh and felt her muscles go hard at the touch. “I’m sorry, Lilli. That was a shitty thing to say. I didn’t mean it.”
“Yeah, you did. And fuck you.” Now she got up. She grabbed her bag from the floor by the desk and turned around. “Is there someplace else I can change, or do I have to use the nasty bathroom?” She’d changed into her workout clothes right here in his office. He’d changed with her. If she wouldn’t change in front of him now—that was bad. That was her looking for distance he didn’t want her to have.
He stood and went to her. She didn’t move away, but she wouldn’t look at him, and the vibe she was giving off was almost toxic. “Don’t, Lilli. Stay here. With me. I really am sorry. I’ll back off. I will.” He put his hands on her stiff upper arms, and she finally turned her eyes to his. They were shiny with almost-tears. Lilli wasn’t quick to cry, so he knew how deeply his words had cut. Goddammit, he was such a dick.
“I need to be strong, Isaac. Don’t try to take that away from me. I won’t let you, and it’ll ruin us.”
“You are strong, Sport. Jesus, you’re like a shield-maiden, or a Valkyrie or something. I don’t want you to be anything less than you are.” He swallowed down a lump that had begun to grow in his throat. “You make me stronger. I need you with me. It scares me to think of something happening to you.”
She sighed. “You know all your Norse mythology and chess references make you a nerd, right? Deep down under all that muscle, ink, and leather, you’re a huge nerd.” She relaxed her arms and put her hands on his bare chest, curling her fingers into the hair there. “I’m afraid for you, too, you know. It’s a two-way deal between us.”
Relieved that the tension had broken between them, Isaac leaned down to kiss her forehead. “I know. We need to take care of each other.”
“We need to trust each other, love. That’s what we need.” She pushed away and opened her bag. “Now, though, I want to change so we can talk to your guys.” She had an idea for a way to deal with Ellis, and he was calling in the officers so she could explain it to them.
She pulled her clothes out of the duffel and stripped off her workout clothes. As she changed back into street clothes, so did he. So much for sparring being foreplay. He’d screwed that one up royally. He’d have to make it up to her later.
CHAPTER TWO
Lilli was still hurt and angry, but she set it aside. There was a growing pile of stuff she was setting aside, though, and it wouldn’t keep forever. She and Isaac had some things they needed to work out. What was happening between them was new for both of them, and their love and desire for one another wasn’t sufficient to help them figure out how to make it work. Not without talking.
She knew he was worried. What had happened with Hobson was bad. Because she’d almost died, yes. But more than that, because she’d been made weak. It had rocked her and given her a fierce determination never to be weak again. It had rocked Isaac, too, though, and he was just as determined to protect her. These were not compatible goals, at least not the way they were approaching them now.
Lilli was finding it difficult, too, to live with someone else, a partner. She’d never done it before. It had been a decade since she’d been in a serious relationship. Hell, it had been a decade since she’d had anything resembling a real home, and that one had been her father’s. It didn’t help matters any that she’d moved in with Isaac right after she’d left the hospital. It had set up a paradigm where he took care of things, including her. On top of that, she’d moved into his family home, in which generations of his family had lived and raised their children. She wouldn’t think of asking him to live elsewhere, but it was his house, through and through—the walls, the floor, the furniture steeped in decades and decades of his family history. She hadn’t yet figured out how to make it her place as well.
Isaac wanted to share it with her; she knew that. He wasn’t possessive about it at all; that wasn’t the problem. He would do anything to help her settle. He’d given her a room of her own, his childhood bedroom, which served as her office and private space. She loved it, and she was decorating it to her taste as she figured that out, but it was still his old bedroom, even though he had no nostalgic connection to it and always knocked and waited to be welcomed in.
He wanted marriage and kids, too, and soon. He wore his need for a family like an emblem on his chest. Lilli had never even considered having kids. She wasn’t actively opposed, but she had no idea how to be a mother. Her own mentally unstable mother, who’d killed herself when Lilli was ten, was no model. She knew better how to be a father. For that she’d had a wonderful model.
Isaac wasn’t pushing, not really. Despite his clear desire for a settled family life, he was obviously trying very hard not to push. He loved her and knew that she needed time to adjust. There were too many changes going on in her life, and she hadn’t gotten her feet steady yet.
Sometimes Lilli felt like he almost made it worse by trying so hard. She had nothing to fight against but her own discomfort.
Until now. Isaac had finally said what he was really thinking, unvarnished. He thought she was weak. He thought she couldn’t take care of herself.
That, she could fight against.
Now, though, she needed to focus on a different fight, so she set her hurt and anger aside and let Isaac lead her into the Horde meeting room, which they called the Keep. She’d never been in that inner sanctum before. She hadn’t spent much time in the clubhouse yet, though that was changing. Before, when she wasn’t sure she’d be able to stay in town, she was reluctant to move too deeply into Isaac’s life. Now, she knew she could stay, so she was getting to know his brothers. On the whole, she really liked them. They were her kind of people, the kind who lived lives so close to the edge that they had no time for petty bullshit. They were loud, violent, raunchy, and uncouth as fuck. They were also honest and, in their outlaw way, honorable. In Lilli’s opinion, most had a lot more honor than the average law-abiding citizen, because they were so often face-to-face with real consequences.
Isaac’s officers were already sitting around the big table when he led her in. Showdown, his Vice President; Len, his Sergeant at Arms; Bart, Intelligence Officer; and Dan, Secretary. They all stood when she came in, and Show wheeled a chair around between his seat and Isaac’s, so she could sit next to her man. Honor and chivalry; sometimes it was best found under leather kuttes and unruly beards.
Lilli sat and put her hands on the burnished ebony table. She knew Isaac had made it. He was a brilliant woodworker, making everything from furniture to art to wee tchotchkes with his own hands. This piece—huge and heavy, of gorgeous wood, with an intricate braid making a rim near the center—was masterful. She was proud, and she turned to him. He was watching her, his own pride clear in his green eyes. She smiled but said nothing. She didn’t need to.
He cleared his throat. “Okay. We need to talk about Ellis. We need to work a better strategy than the eight of us, three Prospects, and a handful of townspeople standing across Main Street waiting for Ellis and the Northsiders to run us down. We’ve got guns, but not enough. We have an offer for some men from The Scorpions, but not enough, and they’ll bring heat from law with them, because they are much bigger players than we are. I know it’s unusual to bring an old lady in on a meeting like this, but you know Lilli has special skills. She knows people with other special skills, and she has an idea that might work. Might at least give us some room. Because right now, we’re bowling pins, waiting to be knocked down.”
He put his hand on Lilli’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. She knew it was for support and encouragement, meant with love, but it irritated her nonetheless. They needed to talk—tonight, when they got back home. If she didn’t clear the air, she wasn’t going to be able to deal. The conversation they’d started in his office wasn’t finished. It needed to be.
“Lilli’s going to explain her perspective on what’s going on and how she thinks she can help. Then we’ll decide if we should take her idea to the club.” He turned to her and gave her shoulder another squeeze. “Go ahead, Sport.”
With an effort not to seem like she was shrugging him off, Lilli leaned forward and got clear of his hand. “Okay. Isaac is right that you don’t have enough man or fire power to take this guy head on. The forays he’s made—starting with Mac Evans and real estate, harassing Will Keller, now kids and women getting followed home from school and town by unfamiliar SUVs—all of it shows a guy with lots of patience. Which means he has the resources to be patient. Isaac says that he’s a heavy duty dealer, an empire guy. You don’t fight a guy like that face to face.”