“Mama? I need help,” she said quietly, glancing quickly across the bar, making sure Jackie wasn’t listening.
“Kay? What’s wrong?”
“I have to cook dinner,” she said.
“And?”
Kay rolled her eyes. “And, this is
me
, not Rose.”
“And Jackie is . . .”
“Expecting dinner.”
“I see. Pizza?”
“Can’t. Did that Saturday night.”
“Okay. Well, do you have any chicken?”
“No. Ground beef.”
“That’s it?”
“Yes. It’s frozen.”
“Well, you can make a casserole. Do you have any pasta? If you have cheese, you could make a cheesy white sauce and . . .”
“
Mama
! Please . . .”
“I told you one day you would regret not learning to cook. Remember?”
“Yes, I remember. Consider me properly chastised.”
She looked up as Jackie stuck her head around the bar, eyebrows raised.
Kay slid off the counter.
“Smells good.”
“Be quiet.” She turned her back to Jacqueline, talking quietly. “Mama, I’ve got to go. Thanks for
all
your help.” She hung up on her mother’s laughter.
Jacqueline walked into the kitchen, leaning against the counter with her arms crossed. They stared at each other, then both looked at the lone package of frozen ground beef sitting on the breakfast table.
“That it?”
Kay nodded. “Afraid so.”
Jacqueline walked closer. “You promised you’d feed me.”
“I lied.”
“Yeah?”
“Uh-huh.”
“I see.” Jacqueline took another step closer, stopping only a few feet in front of Kay. The mouth that she knew better than her own hinted at a smile and Jacqueline stared, waiting. Then the lips parted, breaking into a full grin. Jacqueline met blue eyes, her own smile matching Kay’s.
“Good thing Rose gave me the heads up then.”
“
What
?”
“She said you couldn’t throw a meal together to save your life.”
Jacqueline reached around Kay to turn the oven on, grinning. “So, I picked something up.”
“Picked something up?”
“Well, your mother put together some stuff for us. I picked it up when I had lunch there. She said just to warm it in the oven.”
“Mama
knew
? She let me make a fool of myself on the phone, and she knew all along?”
“Why were you calling her?”
Kay reached out and slugged Jacqueline in the arm. “I was calling her for help, that’s why.”
“Why’d you hit me?” Jacqueline asked innocently, rubbing the same spot Kay had hit last week.
“Ah, you’re right. I’m sorry.” Kay brushed Jackie’s hand away, rubbing her arm softly. “I should be thanking you for getting us something to eat.”
“Yes, you should.” Jacqueline watched Kay’s hand, motioning with her head. “A little higher.”
“Uh-huh.” Kay intended on stopping, but Jackie’s flesh was warm, soft.
Her arms firm, muscular. Her hand stilled, and she looked up, right into the crystal blue eyes that, as a kid, she used to love staring into. She finally dropped her hand and moved away, embarrassed.
Jacqueline saw the slight blush that crept up Kay’s face, wondering what the other woman was thinking. “Thank you. Maybe the bruising won’t be so bad now.”
“Very funny.” Kay moved to the fridge, finding the two takeout plates her mother had fixed. “What would you like to drink?”
“Actually, I bought some stuff.”
“Yeah? What?”
“Well, I didn’t know what you liked. I got some scotch, and rum, and a little beer. Oh, and a few bottles of wine.”
Kay smiled. “That about covers it. Why don’t you surprise me?”
“You’re too easy. You don’t drink much, do you?”
“Actually, no. For one thing, it’s not really convenient having to drive to the county line to buy it. And, well, Billy Ray drank too much. It got scary.”
“I understand. We don’t have to have anything. Te a would be okay with me,” Jacqueline offered.
“After the day you had, you probably want something other than tea.
It’s okay, Jackie. Fix us a drink.”
Later, with plates piled high, they both sat cross-legged on the floor, using the coffee table instead of the dining room table, just like they used to do as kids.
“Mama would have a fit if she saw us, you know.”
“Yes, two grown women acting like kids.”
“This is great. I see she packed all my favorites, including a pork chop.”
“I didn’t care about anything but the meatloaf,” Jacqueline said as she shoved a fork into her mouth. “God, this is the best.”
“I thought you liked her chicken and dumplings best?”
“I do. But I ate the last of it at lunch.”
Kay laughed. “Stay around here too long, and she’ll have you fattened up in no time.”
“Yeah. I couldn’t eat like this every day, that’s for sure. Maybe tomorrow night, I’ll fix us a big salad, maybe some baked chicken.”
Kay nodded. She could get spoiled having Jackie here. Not only did she have company, but also someone to cook for her. “You feel like telling me about your day?”
“Not much to tell, other than I own Keys Industries, and my mother has no idea. Or how about the fact that Keys Industries controls the goddamned bank? That was the highlight of my day.”
“The
bank
? What are you going to do?”
“I have no idea. My choices are to challenge the legality of the affidavit, since I did not knowingly sign it, and then hand the business over to my mother or I can keep it.”
“Not much of a choice, huh?”
“What would you do?”
“Me? God, Jackie, I can’t even begin to know. If my mother had done to me what yours did—”
“That’s not a fair equation. Your mother would
never
have done that to you.”
“Well, you’re right.”
“Mr. Lawrence said that my parents’ marriage was a farce, had been for years. He said my mother has no idea the extent of Keys Industries or the value. He said my father didn’t want her to have it, which is why my name is there as owner.”
“So, I guess you don’t really have a choice, do you?”
“No, I don’t.”
Kay looked up shyly. “Does this mean you’re going to stay?”
“Stay? Here? In Pine Springs?” Jacqueline laughed. “You’ve got to be kidding?”
Kay looked away. No, why would Jackie consider staying? This town meant nothing to her anymore.
Jacqueline realized how that sounded, and she reached over and took Kay’s hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so harsh. It’s just I . . . I can’t see coming back here, not after all that’s happened. Not with my mother still here. Can you imagine the hell that would be?”
“I understand. I was being selfish.”
“Selfish?”
Kay squeezed Jackie’s hand, then pulled away. “I love having you here.
It’s nice to have you back in my life.”
“That doesn’t have to change, Kay. We’ll keep in touch, no matter where I am. Right now, I have no idea what I’m going to do with this business.”
“Can’t you just keep it, and let it go as is?”
“Well, that’s the problem. As Greg said last night, my father still ran things, still made all the decisions. Now that he’s gone, who is going to take his place?”
“Surely the managers that he hired are capable?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“And you’re tired of thinking about it?”
“Very. I’ve got to e-mail Ingrid and let her know I’ll be here longer than I expected. She’s going to kill me. She has this fear that I’m going to disappear into deep East Texas and miss my deadline.”
“It must be exciting, your life.”
“Exciting?” Jacqueline shook her head. “No, I’d not really call it that.
At first, when they made the movie, it was exciting. It was all new and suddenly I was at parties with famous people, acting like I belonged there. Christopher kept me grounded, though. He made me keep writing.
I think that I was content after that first one, you know. I was satisfied.
It was hugely successful, the book and the movie, and I thought that was all I had in me. But,” Jacqueline shrugged. “Four books later, I’m still at it.”
“And another movie.”
“Yeah. But I think I’m out of movies.”
“What are you working on now?”
“It’s something different, actually. Cops. Murder. That sort of thing.”
“Tired of writing about the South?”
“I think I got it all out of me. Therapy, you know.”
“The first one, sure. The others, I didn’t get that feeling,” Kay said.
“Oh, it was there. I think I was trying to write this town out of my system. And I have, I guess. There was a time when, no matter how much John Lawrence had begged, I never would have come here.”
“But I’m awfully glad you did now.”
“Yeah. Me, too. Despite all the complications my life is about to encounter, I’m glad. I think maybe I needed to do this, Kay. I needed to come back to prove that I could. To prove that I’m over all that.”
“Are you really over it?”
Jacqueline nodded. “Yes. I’m not afraid of my mother anymore. And I think I still was, even though miles and miles separated us. But not anymore.”
“But you have regrets?” Kay asked gently.
“I regret that I didn’t get to reconcile with my father, yes. But it’s too late to dwell on that now. He . . . he left a letter for me.”
“He did? What did it say?”
Jacqueline shrugged. “I haven’t actually read it yet.”
“Why not?”
“I was afraid of what it might say.”
“What do you mean?”
“What if it’s an apology? I’m going to feel guilty as hell for not trying to contact him.”
“Oh, Jackie. What if it
is
an apology? Would that be so bad? Don’t you think you deserve one?”
“Well, yeah, I think I do. But from her, and I know I’m never going to get one.”
“Why just her? Your father knew what she was doing and he let her.
And then later, he obviously knew where you were, but he didn’t get in touch with you. I think you deserve one from both of them.” Kay paused. “You know what bothered me the most? That first week in June, your eighteenth birthday. I kept thinking how you must be all alone. It made me very, very sad.”
“Funny you mention that birthday. I was very much alone that day, sleeping in a dirty bunk at the Salvation Army. Isn’t it all so weird, Kay? Who in their right mind sends their daughter away because she’s gay? In this day and age? I mean, it’s like it was the sixties and their daughter got pregnant by the town scum and they sent her away in shame. We’ve all heard of that happening. But, you’re the mayor of the goddamned town, for Christ’s sake! You don’t just ship your daughter off and disown her. You don’t just send her out into the world like she never existed.”
Kay finally understood the pain and loneliness that Jackie had endured.
Shunned by her family, forced to leave home and make it on her own, alone. God, she couldn’t imagine. But she could see the pain in Jackie’s eyes plain as day. She moved to her, taking her friend in her arms and holding her. She felt Jacqueline’s shoulders shaking, heard the quiet tears.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
“I was so . . . so scared. So scared, Kay.” Jacqueline let herself be comforted, relishing the security she felt in Kay’s arms. She let her tears fall, tears she’d kept inside for all these years.
“It’s okay, Jackie. I’m here. You’re safe.”
“Yes. I know. I always felt safe with you.”
Kay tightened her hold, leaning them back against the sofa, gathering Jacqueline closer to her. It was she who had always felt safe with Jackie.
She had no idea the other woman felt the same. She closed her eyes, relishing the closeness she felt right now with Jackie.
Jacqueline thought she should feel embarrassed, but she didn’t. It felt too good to cry, to talk about it. And this was Kay, who knew everything. Kay, who was holding her so gently. Jacqueline became aware of the arms around her, the fingers lightly stroking her hair, her own hand that rested comfortably against Kay’s waist. She finally pulled away, afraid she would do something that would embarrass them both.
“I’m sorry.” She rubbed lightly at her eyes before looking at Kay.
“Jackie, you don’t ever have to apologize to me.” Kay reached out and brushed the hair off of Jacqueline’s forehead, looking into eyes that were still filled with pain . . . pain and tears. “I’m just guessing here, but this is the first time you’ve shed tears. Right?”
“I was too angry to cry. It was the only way I could survive. If I had given in to the loneliness, they would have broken me. I would have begged to come home, I would have agreed to anything. And I knew in my heart that I couldn’t do that. So I kept the anger there, right out front to remind me daily of what they’d done. And I was going to win.”
Jacqueline drew her knees up, wrapping her arms around them and resting her chin there. “Those first few years when I worked two jobs and went to school full time, it’s just a blur. I was exhausted. But I had no time to think, you know? And really, it seems like it happened so fast. After I graduated, I intended on looking for a real job but by that time, Christopher had already introduced me to Ingrid, and she’d found a publisher for the manuscript I’d been working on. A few weeks later, she had a contract for me to sign. I just had to finish the damn thing. It all happened so fast.”
“And now here you are,” Kay said lightly.
“And here I am, back where it all started. Ironic, isn’t it?”
Kay smiled. “What goes around, comes around?”
Jacqueline laughed. “Yeah, really.” She finally relaxed, sitting up again and grabbing the last piece of meatloaf from her plate. “You didn’t finish your pork chop.”
“And keep your hands off it.”
“You know, earlier when I said I couldn’t stay here, I meant no offense by that, Kay.”
“Oh, I know. It was silly of me to think that you would stay. I mean, this isn’t your home anymore. You’ve got a life back there, a career.”
“Yeah. But after all these years, it still doesn’t really feel like home there. This might sound strange, but being around you, your family, that feels like home. Not necessarily this town, but here,” she said quietly.
“Thank you. Maybe it’s just being around people that love you. Loved you then and still love you.”