Authors: Maria E. Monteiro
“My parents were breaking up! I’m sorry I wasn’t peppy enough for you.” I can’t believe I’m still arguing with him over this.
“You’re not having any issues being happy with that idiot. Did you even care for me?”
“Garret what you and I had is in the past. You’re with Cara now...”
“I’m not with Cara! I broke up with her.”
“What? Why?” I ask not sure I really want to know.
He steps closer to me and grabs my wrist, “Because I’m still in love with you.” Before I can pull away, Garret brings his lips close to mine. I know exactly what he wants to do. Before I can pull away I hear a door slam. With my heart beating fast I turn to see Austin standing in the doorway glaring at us.
“What’s going on?” Austin asks with jaw tight. He looks as if he wants to kill Garret.
“Nothing,” Garret says, and then turns around and storms off.
My heart is beating so fast I swear it’s going to jump out my body. I look over at Austin. I’m so scared he thinks I wanted to kiss Garret.
“It’s not what you think,” I try to reassure him.
He nods and goes back inside. Why did I have to follow Garret out here?
I walk back inside and find Austin saying goodbye to everyone. Farrah raises her eyebrows to ask me if everything is okay. I nod hoping it is.
We walk back to his car side by side without holding hands or saying a word. He doesn’t open the door for me, which hurts as if someone punched me in the face. I get in hoping to find the right thing to say.
“I’m sorry,” I finally utter.
“For what?” His voice is tight.
“For following Garret out there.”
“It’s cool. He’s your ex. No big deal.” He turns the music up to end this conversation the same way I do in my father’s car.
Austin’s body tense tighter with each minute that passes. I wish he would talk to me, but before I know it he pulls up in front of my father’s house. I sit in my seat trying to fight each tear wanting to escape my eyes. I wish I were staying at my house and not at my father’s this weekend.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask scared he’ll leave still mad at me.
“No. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Okay.” I wait to see if he’ll lean in to kiss me, but he doesn’t. I open my door and begin to walk towards the front door. My heart pounds hard as I take each step hoping Austin will chase me the way he’s done so many times before, but he doesn’t. When I reach the door handle I hear his car speed away. I don’t understand how one minute we can be so happy and next so miserable. I never should have gone after Garret.
I enter the house feeling broken. My father and Trisha are sitting in the living room watching a movie. I hear her giggle as my dad whispers in her ear.
“You’re home early,” my father says realizing I’ve walked in.
“Yeah. I was tired. Goodnight I’m going to bed.”
“Goodnight,” Trisha calls out as I walk past them towards my room, which happens to be the only good thing about this house.
I sit on my bed and rerun the whole night in my head. I should have pulled away from Garret a lot faster. There were so many things I could’ve done to prevent this. I really wish Austin hadn’t seen anything. Now I have no idea where our relationship stands.
I can hear my dad and Trisha head upstairs. They are so happy together while I lie here miserable. My clock flashes 11:11 and I quickly make a wish that Austin forgives me. I need him to forgive me.
I stare out the window and wonder what he’s doing now. Is he thinking about me? Does he hate me now? I can’t handle this. I pick up my phone and text him,
I’m really sorry. Can we talk???
I stare at my phone as my stomach clenches with agony with each second that pass and he doesn’t answer. I look at my clock again and see 12:33. He must be in bed already. At least that’s where I hope he is, and not in someone else’s arms. I have to believe Austin is not like that.
Under my blankets I try my best to close my eyes, but no matter how much I try I can’t sleep. I turn to face my dark wall and finally allow my tears to stream down my face. Why did this have to happen? Why now when I’m so happy? I can’t lose him again.
A quiet knock on my glass door startles me. I sit up afraid to face the door. Who can be here at one in the morning?
“Jade, it’s me!” Austin says knocking again.
I leap off my bed and open the French doors before anyone else hears him.
“What are you doing here?” I ask with my heart uncontrollably banging against my chest.
“I needed to talk to you. I’m sorry for being such a dick. When I saw Garret going to kiss you a switch went off in my head. I wanted to punch him in the face.”
“Austin, I swear I wasn’t gonna let him kiss me.”
“I know.” He brushes my hair off my face and then brings his warm lips to mine making everything right again.
I take his hand and lead him to my bed. We lie down and he tucks me close to his chest where I can hear his heart beat as fast as mine. Lying in his arm I feel happy again. I close my eyes and fall asleep.
“Jade,” I hear Austin says as he lightly shakes me. I look up and see him staring at me with a glow in his eyes. Right behind him I notice the dark sky is disappearing as the October sun begins to appear. “I gotta go before your dad or his girlfriend wake up.”
“I don’t want you to leave.”
“I don’t wanna leave either, but I have to try to sneak back into my house. I’ll call you later.” He leans in and gives me the best, most amazing kiss ever. Then runs out the door.
There’s no way I can go back to sleep now. I get up and head to the kitchen. The cold ceramic floor sends chills through my whole body. I grab a tall glass and pour myself orange juice.
I sit at the table bringing my knees to my chest and just watch the sun complete its rise. His smell still lingers on my shirt making my heart race all over again. I’m falling so fast for him. There has to be an emergence stop I can pull somewhere, but at same time I don’t want to stop this. I only have a few months left with him all I want to do is enjoy them.
“That smile can only mean one thing,” Trisha says, coming to sit at the table. I didn’t even realize she walked in.
“Huh?”
“Your smile. It could only mean one thing, you’re falling in love.”
I want to deny it and tell her to mind her own business, but all I can do is smile wider.
“I knew it. I’m so happy for you. Your dad and I really like Austin. I mean which girl would not want to fall in love with boy from across the street. It’s the stuff movies are made from.”
“Yeah. I never thought I would feel like this for him again.”
“Again?”
Before I know it I open my mouth and begin to tell her everything. Even though every brain cell is warning me not to, reminding me she is the enemy and we do not share secretes with the enemy. But I can’t stop myself. I find it fun to have someone besides Farrah to talk to about all of this.
I tell her everything, from him breaking my heart when I was ten years old to the way he asked me to homecoming. The whole time Trisha sits next to me rubbing her belly with an amused smile across her face.
“Wow. He’s so romantic. I love how he asked you to homecoming. All my boyfriend in high school did was ask me if we were going to go or not. He was a real jerk.” We both start laughing.
“I thought I heard laughter coming from here,” my father says, entering clean shaved in a gray T-shirt and jeans. He looks so happy. I want to believe he was happy with us, but I don’t remember him looking like this. He was always upset about something. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing. Just talking about boys,” Trisha says, getting up from her chair and giving my father a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll make breakfast.” She turns to me with a glow in her eyes and asks, “Is there anything you’re in the mood for?”
The part of me that needs to hate her wants to say nothing, but the part of me that just enjoyed talking to her says, “Blueberry pancakes.”
“You got it.” She begins to pull out bowls and pans.
“Here I’ll help,” I say taking the pancake mix from her. I’m not sure if this means I’m ready to like her, but I am ready to make things a little less tense when I’m over here.
“Stewart did you know Jade is going to her homecoming dance next week?” Trisha asks as we start eating.
“No I didn’t. Are you going with Austin?”
“Yes,” I reply, hoping his reaction is not like my mother’s. She just shook her head and told me she liked Garret better.
“That’s great. I like him. So what does your dress look like?”
“I don’t have one yet.”
“What? You don’t have a dress yet?” Trisha asks acting like it’s most horrible thing she’s ever heard.
“I haven’t had time to get one. Farrah wanted to go today but my mom is busy.”
“How about if Trisha takes you? She’s great with fashion,” my father says.
“It’s just...” I want to say okay, but all I can think about is how my mother will feel when she learns I went with Trisha.
“It’s okay. I know that’s something you do with your mom. Can you just send me a picture of your dress when you get it? I’m a big sap when it comes to all of this stuff.” Trisha smiles but I can see the pain in her blue eyes. “Well I better go get dress.” She walks out of the kitchen before her face can fall any further.
“I don’t understand why Trisha can’t take you?” my dad asks looking upset again.
“Dad?! Are you serious? Look, I’m being nice ok, but don’t push me to do something I don’t want to.” I get up from the table and head to my room as a storm of emotions are flood my stomach. I hate feeling like I’m betraying my mom, at the same time I feel bad for hurting Trisha’s feelings. I wonder if this will ever get easier.
By the middle of the week I begin to wish I would’ve taken Trisha up on her offer. Between my sister’s wedding and Tony my mother has had no time to take me shopping. I can’t even go by myself since I don’t have a car.
I would ask Austin if he could take me, but his father has him on lock down to make sure he’s ready for the game on Friday. I only get to see him in the morning and at school. We mange to talk on the phone at night, but it’s not the same. I can’t wait until this week is over. I miss him so much.
Farrah is also out as an option. As a trade off for getting the very expensive dress she wanted she has to babysit all her sisters all week long. She doesn’t even have time to talk on the phone.
“Mom? Do you think you can take me dress shopping tonight? The dance is in three days and I still...”
“I’m sorry Jade, but I can’t. I have a huge weddings this weekend and...”
“Forget it!” I can’t believe she’s being like this. Last year she bugged me for weeks to go dress shopping and this year she can care less.
“Here take my car and credit card and go pick out any dress you want.” She hands me her keys and Visa card. This sucks! I actually wanted to do this with her. I wanted us to bond the same way I did with Trisha the other day.
“Thanks.” I try my best not to sound sad.
I jump into her car but instead of driving to the mall I drive straight to my father’s house. I’m going to ask Trisha to help me.
My father was right when he said Trisha has a great sense of fashion. She helped me pick out the cutest cobalt blue strapless satin dress. It has a sweetheart neckline and comes out at the waist and ends half way down my thighs. I love it. I can’t wait for Austin to see me in it tonight.
“Well, don’t you look beautiful,” my mother says walking into my room.
“Thank you. I didn’t think you were gonna make it home in time to see me.”
“I know I haven’t been here for you, but I want you...”
“It’s cool.” I’m not really in the mood to have some sentimental moment with her right now. The truth is I’m still upset she didn’t want to go dress shopping with me. I think that’s why I’m about to say something I might regret later. “Oh, by the way Dad and Trisha are coming by to take pictures.”
Her brown eyes pop open. “What? Why?”
“Because I invited them. I just thought since Trisha helped me pick out this dress and Dad paid for it, it’s only fair they get to come over to take pictures.”
“What are you talking about? I gave you my credit card to get your dress. You even told me you spent three hundred dollars on your dress and shoes.”
“No. You asked me how much I spent and I told you. I never said I paid with your card. You can check your statement when it comes.”
“You know Jade, sometimes you can be a real brat,” my mom says no longer looking at me with endearment in her eyes. “Then why didn’t you just get ready at your father’s house?”
“Because it’s not his weekend,” I answer, applying sunset lip-gloss on. I put the wand back into the bottle and give her a tight lip smile. I don’t want to fight with her but at the same time I’m feel she deserves everything I’m throwing at her right now.
“Well then hurry up and get outside for pictures. I don’t want your father or that woman in my house.” She turns around and storms out of my room.
Now I really do feel like shit. Why did I invite them over? I text Austin and ask him to meet me outside as soon as possible. I just want to get out of here.
I walk out to the perfect fall night sky where each star is shining bright and find Austin standing next to Tony and his mother. He must be telling them about the game, because he pretends to catch the ball and look everywhere as he runs in place. I only got to watch half the game, but the half I did get to watch Austin did amazing. Even his father had nothing to complain about.
He looks so good. I’m so used of seeing him in jeans or sweatpants, he looks different dressed up in black dress pants and black button down shirt, which makes his pin striped emerald green tie stand out. He looks up at me with his big brown eyes and stops speaking as he takes me in.
His dimples appear making my heart flutter as fast as the butterflies in my stomach are. All the anger and shame I was just feeling fades away.