“He slept with Sara,” I said sadly.
“But the two of you weren’t seeing each other, were you?” she asked, confused.
“No,” I sighed, “but he knew how I felt. We had spoken at the party; he asked me out to dinner. But then he got called away, and I found you and Sara just as I got the call. I couldn’t wait and find him, Casey; I needed to get home as soon as possible. I caught Sara on the way out and asked her to tell you. So you can imagine that when I heard about him and Sara last night, it was just—”
“Wait a minute,” Casey interrupted, putting her hand up to stop me. “You asked Sara to tell me what?”
“About my dad,” I confirmed, confused. “I told her to tell you about the call and that I had to go.”
Casey sighed and sat back on her stool.
“What?” I asked, feeling more and more concerned as the conversation continued.
“She didn’t tell me.” Casey let out a big breath. “When I got back from the bathroom, Blake was standing next to Sara. He seemed distracted, angry even. I asked had they seen you, and Sara said they had seen you in Cooper’s arms before leaving the party.” Casey shook her head in disgust. “Blake saw you leave with Cooper, but Sara obviously hadn’t told him where you were going and why.”
“And she didn’t tell you either?” I asked, feeling anger once again building.
“Nope.” Casey shook her head. “I had no idea where you were until Cooper rang me on the Saturday afternoon to ask whether I had heard from you.”
“What!”
“Blake got wasted – I mean, forget-your-own-name kind of wasted,” she said, wide eyed. “I have never seen him in such a state.” She reached over and took my hand. “Everyone saw him leave with Sara.”
I was struggling to process everything. Sara had known that my dad was dying. She knew, yet she didn’t tell anyone? Instead she waited for Blake to get wasted and took him home. I felt sick.
“So are they seeing each other? Are they a couple?” I asked, not sure I wanted to know the answer.
Casey shook her head. “No, it was just that one time. She has a habit of turning up wherever he is and making out like they’re together, but I know he wouldn’t lie to Alex, and he said it was just that one time.”
I looked over at Casey, who seemed to be remembering something. “What is it?”
“The day after the party, I overheard him in Alex’s apartment. I walked in after I had spoken to you on the phone, and he was telling Alex about the night before. He was saying how much he regretted it because he had fallen for someone else and that even though he wasn’t sure she felt exactly the same, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He said he felt as though he had betrayed this someone else even though they weren’t actually together.” Realization dawned on Casey’s face. “It’s obvious now that he was talking about you.” She shook her head. “I walked over and told them both that I had just gotten off the phone to you and that you had taken the call about your father at the party. Thinking back now, it was obvious. He got up off the sofa and seemed agitated; he obviously realized that Cooper had just helped you. He stormed out, and Alex found him later at Sugar Lounge; he was wasted yet again, completely out of it.”
“Oh God,” I said quietly.
“He feels terrible, Jo,” Casey said carefully. “You do know he doesn’t do relationships, don’t you?”
“I know. I should have realized he was no different just from the fact that he doesn’t date. I just felt he was different.” I frowned.
“He has changed, Jo; how he feels for you has changed him. He wants you.”
“It’s too late. Thank God I found out what he’s like before I fell into that trap again.”
“It’s not his fault,” Casey stressed. “Sara knew about your father and didn’t say anything. What kind of a person does that?”
“He still jumped straight into bed with her,” I said sadly.
“You need to talk to him, Jo.”
“I don’t think so,” I laughed as I stood and went to empty my plate into the bin.
“Tonight, at Alex’s birthday meal, he will be there.”
I had completely forgotten what date it was. This had been arranged for a while now; Alex was thirty today. Casey had arranged a meal at his favourite Italian restaurant, and then we were heading back to one of Alex’s clubs for a private party.
“Casey, I’m so sorry; I kind of have plans already tonight.”
“How? You only got back last night.” she said in disbelief.
“I ran into Cooper this morning. I promised him a thank-you dinner for being a good friend to me the night I had to go back to London.”
Casey smiled. “Perfect. Bring him along. Show Blake what he’s missing out on.” Casey rubbed her palms together in excitement.
“I’m not going to use Cooper to get to Blake, Casey; that’s not fair.”
“You won’t be using him; you will be thanking him for what he did. And Blake would be seeing what a dick he has been by hopping into bed with Sara at the first opportunity.”
“I don’t like it; it’s not right,” I replied.
“And Blake sleeping with Sara was?”
“Blake and I were never official; he can sleep with who he wants, you as good as said that only one minute ago.”
“Well, I’ve changed my mind,” she shrugged “It’s Alex’s birthday, and I insist you be there whether you bring Cooper or not.” She winked.
I picked up my phone with a deep sigh and dialed Cooper’s number. I explained that I had double booked and asked whether he would like to come to Alex’s meal. He agreed and said he would pick me up at eight.
“Sorted,” I said to Casey before heading to the bathroom for a shower.
“Oh!” Casey yelled, “Just one more thing that I may have forgotten to mention.”
I turned and headed back to the kitchen, dreading what she was about to say.
“Sara kind of invited herself along to tonight’s events too. Sorry, I forgot to mention that.” Casey gave me a guilty lopsided grin. I growled and stormed off to the bathroom. Tonight I would make the most effort I ever had; I would make myself look irresistible.
At 7.59 I opened the door to a stunned Cooper.
“Close your mouth, Cooper; you will catch flies like that,” I laughed, using my mum’s line from only a few nights before. I had spoken to Mum that afternoon but had told her I had yet to see Blake. I didn’t want to tell her that he was actually no different to any of my previous boyfriends. I didn’t actually want to believe it myself.
“You look” – his eyes scanned my body up and down a few times, settling on my boobs for a little longer than felt comfortable. I smacked him with my clutch bag to remove him from the trance he was in. I had gone for a strapless knee-length black dress that clung a little too eagerly around my breasts. I had decided at some point whilst getting changed that I did actually want to show Blake what he was missing. “You look stunning,” Cooper finally said as his eyes met mine for the first time since I opened the door.
“Thank you,” I replied.
“Shall we?” He held his arm out for me to take; I placed my arm in his.
“Let’s date,” he joked as we headed to the lift.
The restaurant was already buzzing with laughter and chat as we entered. The waiter offered us each a glass of champagne before showing us to the table we would be seated at. The restaurant was small and intimate. Casey had hired the complete restaurant out, seating all fifty guests comfortably. It also gave us a lot of privacy – no onlookers, no photos being snapped. It was perfect.
“I’m just going to use the bathroom, I won’t be a minute,” I said to Cooper, who, being a true gentleman stood as I left the table. That made me smile.
I stood looking at myself in the mirror, taking deep breaths.
“You can do this, Jo; you
can
do this.” I repeated that mantra over and over to myself as my reflection stared back, knowing that I probably couldn’t do this.
Blake would be here any minute, and so would Sara. Would they arrive together? Why would they if he didn’t want anything to do with her? This was all such a big mess, and I found myself once again getting wound up by a man, great. I wasn’t feeling as brave now as I had felt while getting ready for this evening. In theory, I would be showing him what he was missing, yet in reality it would be me that would be seeing what I was missing.
I picked myself up and headed back out to the waiting guests.
The party was in full swing, everyone was drinking and laughing – especially Casey, who already appeared to have had her full quota of champagne. But that didn’t matter; she was happy and in love. I couldn’t help but feel a knot of envy for her.
Cooper was smiling when I returned. He stood and pulled out my chair for me. “Will you quit with this dating nonsense?” I laughed.
He winked. “Just being a gentleman.”
“Cooper, Jo,” Blake greeted us as we sat laughing.
“Hey, Blake, what’s up, dude?” Cooper stood and shook his hand before sitting back down and turning back to me, but I hadn’t yet looked away from him. He had smiled tightly at Cooper’s greeting, and his eyes burned into me.
I said the first thing I thought of. “No Sara?” I took my champagne in my shaky hand and polished it off. Blake sighed as he sat down. I turned to Cooper in order to keep my mind from wandering. I was thanking Cooper for being such a good friend; he deserved my full attention.
Cooper grabbed a bottle of champagne and refilled my glass.
“Are you trying to get me drunk, MR Henderson?” I teased before taking a large sip again.
“Maybe I am,” he teased in return as he sat back in his chair and placed one arm on the back of my shoulders.
I raised my eyebrows to him, to which he replied with a smile and a wink.
I heard Blake clear his throat, but as much as my neck was trying to control my every movement, I refused to turn and give into him. The champagne was now definitely helping to make him see what he was missing, and I was enjoying doing it.
I heard Sara approach before I saw her. The loud clicking of her heels seemed to echo around the restaurant. Champagne in hand, she pulled out the chair next to Blake and dropped her bag onto the table with a thud. “Where were you? I waited for you to come pick me up,” I heard her whisper harshly to Blake.
He didn’t reply. Instead he let out a long, hard breath. I could see from the corner of my eye he was still watching me.
I turned to Sara. “Trouble in paradise?” I asked, forcing a smile.
“Jo, I didn’t know you were back. When did you … um … Blake, did you know Jo was back?” She turned to Blake, looking nervous.
Blake took a sip of champagne before replying simply, “Yes. I did.”
“I got back late last night,” I stated. “Blake was at my apartment. Weren’t you, Blake?” He nodded. “Mind you, seems he didn’t actually know that I had gone, for a while, did you Blake?”
Before giving either of them any time to respond, I turned back to Cooper, who was watching me intently.
“What are you doing?” he asked, quietly leaning in so as only I could hear.
“Nothing,” I smiled innocently. “I’ll be right back; I need the bathroom,” I said.
“You only went like five minutes ago,” Cooper replied, confused.
“It’s the champagne,” I lied. The truth was I needed a breather. It was killing me seeing them both sitting so close to each other knowing that he had lay naked above her or below her as she rode him over and over, while he filled her insides with his dick. He had kissed her skin, caressed her. The more I thought about it, the more my skin crawled with hate for her, the more I wanted to smash her perfect teeth out of her lying, vile mouth. But the more I thought about it, the more I found myself wanting Blake, the more I wanted to be the one lying underneath him while he rocked into me, the more I wanted to taste him, hold him, and breathe in his scent. Yes, I needed a breather.
I hurried to the bathroom, this time locking the door behind me. I rushed over to the sink, turned the taps on full, and splashed the water against my face. I began to sweat. I was shaking as my heart pounded hard against my chest. I was about to experience my first panic attack since arriving in New York. My breathing become shallower with each breath; each gasp was a struggle to control. Forcing myself to focus in the mirror, I repeated to myself, “Stop it, stop this now, calm down. Come on, Jo, calm down, breathe … Just breathe …” I finally managed to calm myself. My breathing returned to normal, and my heartbeat finally steadied.
“Just breathe,” I whispered one last time before deciding to head back to the table.
I opened the door to find Blake leaning against the wall opposite. He was waiting for me.
“Blake, you startled me,” I gasped.
He pushed away from the wall. “Can we talk?” he pleaded as he closed the distance between us.
I looked up at him. He was standing so close that it was hard to concentrate on anything other than Blake.
“There’s nothing to say, Blake,” I said quietly. I took a step forward, trying to walk away from him, but before I could get past, he took my wrist in his hand and turned me back to face him.
“Don’t, Blake, please. Just let go.”