Bearly Hanging On (Alpha Werebear Shifter Paranormal Romance) (The Jamesburg Shifters Book 6) (16 page)

For the next several minutes, Maude and Boston agreed, disagreed, and debated on the various places that their nephew went when he was getting away. Through the whole thing, Jamie never thought to ask them why he'd gone away if he was sending her all those letters, and evidently, trying to get her attention.

"Actually," Jamie asked, after the maps had been drawn and directions given. "Are you sure he wants me to find him? I mean, I don't want to intrude if he's off gallivanting around and doing whatever it is bears do when they're trying to get away from it all. Honestly all I’m going on – the only reason I came – is because I got a bunch of, er, kinda naughty poems in the mail. Which, I know, doesn’t seem like romantic courting, but..."

"That would be a heavy dose of pining after you, and also moping," Boston said. "Lots of moping. Were they limericks? That boy could rattle off a dirty limerick if he were staring down the barrel of a pistol aimed at his head. Matter of fact, I think he’s done just that."

Jamie tried to stifle a laugh. “I’ll just say that I’m too embarrassed to recite any of them, but, yep, you nailed it.”

"Oh, he isn't moping, he's just... well, he's Ryan, that's all. Brooding sort of person, he gets to be from time to time. The limericks are how he deals with it, I guess. I told him to take up knitting more seriously, but he never listens."

Jamie was still chewing her lip, still wondering if she was treading into territory where she wasn't entirely wanted.

At some point, I'm just going to have to start taking these leaps instead of worrying about them so damn much. At some point I'm going to learn that regret hurts a lot worse than never having done something in the first place and missing the chance forever.

From the way she looked, Boston and Maude could both easily tell that she had steeled her nerves, she was ready to go looking for someone she might not find.

Like she could read Jamie's mind, Maude cleared her throat and said, "You know, dear, it's always worth it."

"What is?" Jamie asked, already knowing the answer.

"The things you're feeling, the things he's feeling - it's never easy for anyone to admit that it’s the first time they knew something was right. But I bet the first time you saw that ridiculous flannel shirt he never stops wearing, something in your gut told you there was a reason you couldn't look away from him."

Jamie studied her face, letting her thoughts roll around inside her skull for a moment. When he got all growly with Erik, I wanted to dive across that damn table and start gnawing on those biceps is what she wanted to say. Instead, she just looked down at the floor for a second and offered a smile and a "you're probably right."

*

T
he first place she checked was entirely uncomfortable looking - just a rocky outcropping that overlooked the Greater James River. Jamie could see how it would appeal to someone wanting to get away from civilization, but with the constant spray of river water coming off the rapids underneath the outcropping, she was fairly satisfied with not finding her bear.

As she beat her wings, casually sweeping and swooping to the next place, which was about thirty miles from the first, and of course, deep in the damn woods, the sky began to thicken and grow heavy. Fat, silver-bottomed clouds and a telltale blue haze on the horizon meant rain was coming, and from the smell in the air, it wasn't going to be a light fall shower.

In the distance, Jamie could hear the drumbeat of raindrops, and knew that sooner than later, she'd need to find a place to wait out the storm. She didn't mind a little rain shower every now and then, but as dangerous as storms can be when you're on a golf course, it's an even worse idea to be up in the air, bobbing around just waiting to get beaten to death by hail.

The thought of singed hair and twitching muscles was entertaining enough when it was in a movie, but Jamie decided she'd rather avoid being zapped out of the sky, at least until she got to the bottom of who this mysterious Ryan Drake actually was, and why he'd captured her heart as unflinchingly as he had.

She dropped her left shoulder and slid down, down, down until she felt spongy forest beneath her feet. The squish of old, wet leaves, the give of ground that wasn't entirely solid, was both familiar to her and still a little unsettling.

"And... where are you supposed to be?" she asked, double checking the roughly sketched map. "Circled the whole place," she said to herself. And she had - the entire area marked with a red splotch of ink was, according to Maude, the place Ryan had marked out for them the first time he ran off. She said he probably had a den or a cave or something staked out that he rested in, relaxed, let himself think.

"If I were a bear, where would I go?"

Jamie crouched under a low-hanging branch and poked around for any sign of ursine life. With a heavy sigh, she realized that even if he were here that there was absolutely no sign of shelter, nothing to see. She lifted off once again, hoping - although with a heavy sense of self-preserving skepticism - that she'd find him at the third place.

Maude mentioned he had a cave he used from time to time, which sounded both dry and promising, since Jamie hadn't come across one of those yet in her search.

Then again, it could be nothing. This whole stupid thing could be nothing. She tried to make herself believe that, as though not having to bother with her own feelings would make them vanish like irritating gremlins on the wings of an airplane. Of course, pretending Glenn the "fairy" didn't exist didn't make him any less likely to douse a person with a handful of glitter, so maybe that wasn't always a cure-all.

As Jamie pitched, to the right this time, a dark spot caught her eye. A hollow – a cave, perhaps? She descended in slow, careful spirals, partially to prolong the disappointment she feared at not finding Ryan, and partially to make sure she didn't run headlong into any unseen rocks or trees. The long shadows of afternoon were being quickly swallowed by the steel gray of a late autumn dusk, and alongside the coming rain, that meant vision was harder than usual to trust.

Her heel clicked against the soft slate of the cave's entrance as Jamie squinted, letting her eyes adjust to the almost nonexistent light within. "Hello?" she called. "Anyone in there?"

Something scurried past her foot, which of course made Jamie squeal and recoil, and then immediately feel like a giant idiot when it turned out to be a tiny possum skirting the edge of the cave opposite where she stood. For a second, the passing thought that maybe she went to high school with that possum crossed her mind, as it often did when she encountered random animals in Jamesburg. It turned out to almost never be the case, though. Almost.

"Ryan?" she called again.

"Ryan... Ryan... Ry... Ry..." came the cave's echoing answer. It was an echo she felt not just in her ears, in her head, but in her heart. The hollowness around her was almost oppressive. If not for the fact that just then, rain started pattering against the outside rock face, she would have been entirely upset by the total lack of a bear. As it was, she felt only mostly disappointed instead of completely.

She gathered her skirt in a bunch around her hips so she could sit, and reclined against the wall nearest the mouth of the cave, watching the rain drip down the rock face and splat against the ground before soaking back into the earth.

"How do I always do this to myself?" she asked, sort of wishing the possum would come back so at least she wouldn't be talking to herself. "Up come the hopes, and then down they go."

She sighed, heavily, and nudged a rock with her toe before kicking at it, sending the little stone skittering across the cave floor and out into the woods. She scratched the soft limestone above her head, digging a little notch with her fingernail, and then stretched her legs out in front of herself, and reclined her head against the stone. The cool dampness penetrated to her bones, and shortly, Jamie found herself shivering, but still glad she was dry.

Outside, the storm started to whip the firs back and forth. "Hell of a storm," she said, to keep herself company. "Good thing I'm not a thousand feet up, that might be just about the worst thing ever."

"I'm glad too."

"What the fuck was that?!" Jamie shot to her feet, immediately falling to a low ready position. "Who’s there? Talk, now!"

If she were a possum, she'd be spitting and hissing. Instead, she just felt her claws grow and her fangs lengthen. Whoever was sharing her little shelter had better show himself fast.

There was a footstep, distant and soft. Then another one nearer, but she couldn't see, or smell anyone. That was not something she was used to. Spinning in her low crouch, Jamie wasn't going to let anyone get the drop on her. She squinted, trying her best to search the darkness. She took a step forward, then another two, cautiously, deeper into the cave.

"Answer me," she said, her voice calm and cold. "Don't try anything stupid. I'm not messing around."

Still nothing. The sound of grinding rock made her spin, but it was just pebbles falling that she'd passed. She felt air whizz past. Someone was close, someone was moving around her so fast she couldn't keep up.

"Who are you?" she demanded again, twisting her toes into the ground, clenching her fists and her jaws. "I'm not playing arou—"

"Neither am I," the voice came in a whisper. A moment later, a hand clamped over her mouth. A hard hand slid around her belly, pulling her backward against a muscled torso that was covered in something soft and cottony and halfway buttoned. "Shhhh," he said with a chuckle on his lips. "How's it feel to get snuck up on?"

––––––––

W
ith a sharp elbow pointed backward and up, Jamie drove an elbow into her attacker's solar plexus.

"Damn!" Ryan grunted, still laughing, as his grip loosened and he lurched backward. "Hold on!"

But "hold on" is not something you tell an enraged bat girl after you surprise her with a hand on her mouth. Jamie whirled, claws flashing, and Ryan dodged backward at exactly the right time to avoid losing a chunk of ear. "Damn, you're serious!"

With a snarl, Jamie jumped at him, nails catching his forearm, and leaving a hot, painfully red trail. They snagged in his flannel shirt sleeve, but she was so panicked, so terrified, that she just went at him again, ripping away her nails and lunging again.

He twisted at exactly the right time, sliding past her wild clawing, and caught ahold of one of her wrists. "Quit trying to kill me!" he was still laughing, but he was also starting to get slightly winded.

All Jamie heard was his breathing get harder. She wrenched her arm down, then up, catching him with a backhand that stunned more than hurt. Ryan backed up again, batting away another flurry of strikes, and then trying once again to pull her into a bear hug, suddenly more for his own safety than because he wanted to feel her against his body, but... well there was that too.

Her eyes were a mixture of slate gray and blood red as she whirled past the vague light coming through the cave's entrance.

"Jamie!" Ryan shouted, suddenly very aware that his little joke was possibly not the best idea. "Jamie, it's me, Ryan! Ryan Drake!"

She hit a deep crouch, like a linebacker ready to absolutely murder a quarterback. Her eyes cleared, and her eyebrows furrowed. A low, rumbling growl escaped her lips.

"Are you in there Jamie?" he asked, chancing a step closer. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I—shit!"

She lunged again, backhanding the bear with surprising force.

"What the hell was that for?"

Jamie wasn't responding. She glared, cold and hard, sending a shiver up Ryan's back. "Jamie!" he called again.

Jamie dove, and as he lifted his hands to defend himself, she slid to the ground, between his legs. With impossible agility, she entwined one of her legs between his, straightened it, and sent the huge bear sprawling to the ground. He caught himself, but still landed with a dusty thud and a grunt.

The next second, she flipped him over, and was straddling his chest, holding his arms pinned with her knees. "What the hell?" he was saying over and over. "What are you doing?"

She glared down at him and leaned close enough that they could both feel each other's breath. His was hot and heavy with surprise. Each inhale lifted her a couple of inches and every exhale caressed the bare skin of Jamie's neck. She leaned closer, only an inch from his lips.

"Don't ever write me any more dirty limericks," she whispered. "Next time, I'll kill you."

He opened his mouth to answer, but before he could, Jamie pushed his head back against the ground, forced his lips open with hers, and kissed him as deep and hard and hungry as she'd ever imagined a kiss could be. She closed her eyes and let him get his arms free. Up her back, then down, he ran his hands, his calluses rasping over the smooth fabric of her bunched up dress. The hotness between her legs, on his belly, gave Ryan a burning ferocity he'd never felt before, never known.

In the next second, he grabbed Jamie's hips, holding her against him so that she ground up him, then down, and then flipped her over, settling her gently against the floor of the cave, and pushing between her legs with the muscles of his lower abdomen. She was smiling now, mouth opened in a silent gasp.

"I thought you were gonna kill me that time, and the limericks worked, didn’t they? You’re here, aren’t you?" he asked, with a half-smile before he forced her head backward with a kiss. Swirling his tongue inside her mouth, Jamie felt her bear stir inside those tight jeans he wore, and slid her hand along the thickness she felt. He let out a rumbling groan as she squeezed; she moaned softly as he pushed, the buckle of his belt cold against her clit.

"If you'll keep doing this," she gasped between breath-drinking kisses, "you don't have anything to worry about. I couldn't kill anyone that can make me feel like this."

With a rough hand on one side of her face, Ryan held Jamie's head and kissed her neck, her ear, and sucked a line of kisses from her chin to the hollow of her throat, where the button down part of her form-hugging dress had fallen open.