BAD APPLE: The Complete Series (Parts 1-5) (13 page)

Vadim

The darkness of the living room suits my mood perfectly as I recline back in the chair I turned to face the window. I sit staring out, my mind in turmoil as the sound of Nikita’s weeping reaches my ears.

Leaving her has always been a struggle after enduring the bone-deep bliss I always find in her arms and the welcoming recesses of her heated body, but I always do it. I pull myself from her and walk away as I need to, or risk falling further beneath her spell.

She’s a fierce woman, the perfect lover.

She’s mine. I have ensured that her every breath is laced with me, her every waking thought influenced by my wants and needs, because it’s only fair since I am ruled by thoughts of her.

And yet here I sit, silently, drinking in the dark while she weeps, thinking I left her again when all I want to do is hold her and assure her that it will all be okay.

This attack on Ri has shaken us all to the core, and if not for that tiny woman’s determination to live, I know we would all be broken and floundering.

Misha is on the knife’s edge still, his need for vengeance so keen that I can still feel his fury even after two days of sitting beside that hospital bed, demanding she wake.

If not for the somberness of the situation, I would laugh at his pure arrogance and pity poor Ri for being married to that asshole. He’s a chump if he thinks he doesn’t love that woman. I heard it in every syllable of his agonized howls when he gathered her broken body to his and cried like a man tormented. I saw it in every hard line of his face as we waited hours to hear of her fate.

He loves her. He just doesn’t know it yet, and I fear he will never admit it unless he is forced to. If that’s even possible.

A man is usually shaken and open when his woman is at death’s door. All I saw of Misha’s rage when he realized what that gut wound meant, and now I have to not only stop him from going after an entire family, but also ensure that the rest of our little crew is safe too.

Hence my position right now as I fight not to go to Nikita and give her the comfort she needs. I can’t give her all of me because I don’t possess it all to give freely, and I fear when she finds out why, she’ll hate me more than the love I see shining in her eyes.

I can’t blame her for that, either. I hate myself for taking her when I know it can never be more than our bodies meeting, even as I demand her heart. It’s selfish that I’ve pushed her that far, immersed her so deeply in me that she will never be free to love another.

I have no excuse for what I’ve done, nothing to soften the disgust I feel for myself, and yet I need her love so desperately that I can’t stop myself from taking it without giving back.

I am a thief, a bigger liar than I have accused Misha of being. A fraud who has made Nikita into something she hates more than anything in this world.

When the sounds of her quiet snuffling finally end, I finish my drink and stalk quietly to her room, looking down at her dark beauty with a longing I have no right to feel.

I need to leave and go home. Back to a wife I despise and a situation that is like a noose tightening around my neck with every day that passes.

Nikita will hate me soon, but until the day that she discovers my betrayal, I will take and hoard as much of her love as I possibly can. Because I know, once I lose it, there will be nothing left for me but the memory of what I have now.

“Ah, Nikita, my woman, if only I had met you before it all went to hell,” I whisper, unable to resist the lure of her lips any longer.

The kiss is feather light and tenderer than any I have ever given her before I pull back and slip silently from the apartment, stopping only to nod at the man watching her door. Then I face the night and the hatred I go home to every day.

I wish…

But wishes are for fools, and dreams are only for men who have the luxury of entertaining them.

***

Irina

Everything hurts. My face throbs like a sore tooth where I took two hammering blows, my head feels like Hannibal tried to harvest my brain meat, and my freaking gut is so tender that just the motion of my every breath is agony.

But I’m alive. It’s my first ecstatic thought as I try and fail to open my eyes fully, my body uncooperative even as my senses roar to life and start clamoring for proof of my continued existence.

I feel. It hurts, but I feel everything and that makes me happier for pain than my ass has ever been. I hear…beeping…

“I don’t want to talk business now, Vadim.”

Misha! Look at me
, I plead, knowing that he, alone, has the power to draw me up out of myself.

“Too fucking bad, brat. We have no choice. Lena and Feliks are both filing for full custody right now, thanks to whatever you said to that hard son of a bitch. Luka is walking around humiliating Tatiana at every turn, and the damn Mathis deal is falling though! We need to tie things up fast or we’ll be facing an internal war while those fucking Chenkos make another play for our Ri.”

What?

I’m still fuzzy and struggling to swim up out of the darkness, but I hear Misha curse viciously and lament the loss of his warm hand surrounding mine when he pulls away and the familiar sound of pacing feet reaches me.

“I knew Irina was theirs, but I never once thought they would go this far to get rid of her, Vadi. Why would Lana Chenko risk our retaliation to kill a daughter she gave up years ago? It makes no sense.”

Lana?
I can’t focus as I strain to hear, some of the words dropping away, leaving me to piece it all together even as the thumping in my head starts worsening with every word.

“I was just as confused about it, brat, till I went to talk to Big Allie and he told me that the woman was briefly involved with Maximillian Leonides years ago.”

Misha curses again, worse than I have ever heard before.

“If this is true then the situation is worse than we thought. Jesus Christ, Vadim, if she’s his then it is so much worse. That man is ruthless in his pursuits and completely heartless when it comes to what he wants. If she is his and he should learn of this, he may come for her.”

“
Da
, but I do not see this as a bad thing, Misha. Max will be an ally worth the sacrifice, I think. And he will be an added layer of protection, one you will need should the Chenkos discover that Ri is still alive. We’ve kept it quiet and have people at every major entrance and exit, but we cannot guarantee the information will not be leaked. If it is, Irina is in more danger, Misha.”

Danger? Are they seriously saying that crackhead, the guy I assumed was a junkie and intent on killing me to rob the bakery…

“I must think on this, Vadi. Maximillian may well be an ally I cannot refuse, but the man is not an enemy I can afford should he try and take my wife away from me.”

None of this makes sense and I try all the harder to open my eyes, move, anything as I hear the frustration and fury in Misha’s voice.

“I know this and I agree, but we cannot overlook the possibility of his parentage or the protection he could provide. If she is his, then he will value her above all others, Misha. As his only daughter, she will be covered on all sides.”

“She is my wife!
Mine
. Mine to guard and protect. Mine to keep safe from these people. I have already failed her twice, this third time by failing to protect her sufficiently, Vadim. I cannot tolerate the thought of losing her now, not when I was so close to regaining her love. I need that tie before I can risk anyone taking her from me.”

That’s the sweetest asshole comment I have ever heard. Nowhere in that statement is there a declaration of love or even affection, just his need to tie me to him more securely.

I should get pissed at his gall, and yet as I hear him pacing and muttering, I feel a bubble of mirth and joy unfurl inside me.

Maybe he doesn’t love me, and maybe that is a bad thing, I don’t know…

But he does care. Enough to sound frantic at the thought of losing me again.

That gives me hope—hope I haven’t had since waking up to him and knowing that I belong to him in name, body, and heart. A hope I haven’t had since he refused to tell me what the hell hold Mina has over him.

Shit. I really hate hope. But I have it, and it’s not going to just disappear, no matter how afraid I am of entertaining it.

I stop listening after that realization and stop fighting against the darkness, letting it take me again in the hope of a little peace, just a little longer, before I have to wake up and face whatever Misha hasn’t told me and the suspicion that he’s still playing me, albeit lovingly.

Irina

“Stop staring. It’s creepy,” I moan what feels like days later when my mind blinks awake again and my eyes pop open without a fight.

The pain is gone, along with that drugged wooziness that held me in its grip, and while I don’t feel great or even good, I’m able to give Misha a grin when I spot him sitting beside me, looking unkempt and harried.

As predicted, his hair is standing all over the place and that golden stubble is a full-on beard that has my nose wrinkling in distaste.

So, too, does his lack of a shower and I tell him so.

“You have taken your sweet time lazing in that bed, angel,” he manages to grit out before those lips of his fall to my hand and he kisses me with so much relief and tenderness, I almost beg him to kiss my lips. Almost.

“Lazing? Dude, some asshole slapped me around and shoved a knife in my gut. I think the fact that I’m alive shoots that shit right out the window,” I mutter ruefully, pinching his cheek with heat and loving his yelp before he pulls back and shakes his head.

“I had to meet your mother and father and keep those fucking gorillas you call brothers from the mental asylum, thanks to your little adventure. I warned you that being alone in that place wasn’t safe.”

What a freaking crock. Somehow I knew that he’d go that route instead of coming clean with me and that just pisses me off, shoving every feeling of softness and tolerance right out the window.

I may not ever get to the place I want to be with Misha, and I may never have him fully, but what I do expect is honesty, at the very least.

“If you’re trying to go the ‘some junkie shanked you’ route, I advise you to think again, Novac. That was no junkie and that gutshot he gave me was not just an attempt at killing me. It was a message loud and clear and we both know it. Or was that not what you and Vadi were discussing earlier?” I ask conversationally, really loving the shock and horror he can’t hide before that mask lowers again.

“Oh, and as far as the whole you knowing who my parents are and keeping it secret, I am not happy about that either. I think I want you to call Feliks or Max, please. I need to talk to one of them.”

He knows exactly why I want one of my brothers, and I see his refusal even before that jaw tenses and those eyes lose their fear. In its place is the hard bastard who orders me around and uses sex to keep me in line.

“You will not leave me again, Irina, not so soon after I held your bleeding, dying body in my arms and forced air into your lungs,” he grates savagely, making my breath halt when he surges up and leans into me, his breath caressing my lips.

So close…all it would take for me to feel his kiss is a turn of my head.

              Isn’t a near-death experience the best opportunity for a man to profess his undying love? The books assured me of this—those stupid romantic comedies told me that I would get my train-station flash mob while Misha went on bended knee and unburdened his aching heart.

What do I get? A raging lunatic who demands my surrender and gives me nothing in return.

“Oh boohoo. You saved my life? Thanks. You had a moment of panic when you thought your little concubine was dying? Get over it. I refuse to spend the rest of my life in a loveless marriage while you lie through your teeth at every turn,” I yell, my every breath so hard, I see Misha’s eyes go molten before his lashes lower to conceal his emotions.

“I have never once done anything to deserve you shitting on me, Misha, and yet you have continued to do so without regret since the day you met me and just decided that I was yours. Well no more. If I can’t ever have your love, if you can’t return what I feel for you, then you can at least do me the favor of not lying. I heard you and I know that my mother’s family may have tried to kill me, just as I know that some guy who could be my father would want to meet me.”

“You know nothing of Maximillian, just as you know nothing of what your birth family is capable of, Irina!” he yells, pulling back with a curse just as the door opens and Feliks walks in, his gaze hard and cold before he turns to me with a soft smile that cracks my heart in two.

“Rini.”

“Oh spare me the nicknames, asshole. I’m still pissed at you for having me chucked out of your building like a hobo. Oh, and incidentally? Thanks for sending Luka to shove me around. That was the highlight of a really shitty week,” I grate, stunning them both with my anger.

This isn’t me. Usually Irina is the soft, easily forgiving type who offers to bake her bullies cakes and throw them a party. I’m the girl who never says a bad word and goes the extra mile to make people happy, just because I enjoy making others smile.

Not today. For some reason, maybe the fear of dying, maybe actually dying for a few minutes, I feel as if I’ve been given a new lease on life, another chance to get exactly what I want.

If I have to fight dirty to get it then so be it, but I am fed up with being coddled and humored while the men in my life mess with me.

“Rini.”

“Angel.”

“Stuff it. I want the girls here now and the two of you can either find it within yourselves to talk straight or you can fuck off and go play with each other’s balls,” I yell, just as my mom and Mama Novac walk in, their shock gasps turning to laughter.

“Brava Ri! Tell these men where to shove it, my darling.” Mama coos, hustling over to smother me in her slobbery kisses and too-tight hugs.

Mamen’ka
shoves her away seconds later and envelops me in her perfumed embrace, her tears and laughter turning into sobs the minute she smells my hair and pulls away with a shudder.

“What it this, my darling? Have you become allergic to soap and water?”

“I just woke up, you old hag!”

They both start
tsking
loudly before slapping both Misha and Feliks on the cheeks and rattling off in Russian, leaving me gaping at their crude language.

“This is no excuse and I feel even more ashamed of my son for his squalor. Away with the two of you so we can clean our daughter.”

I can’t hold my laughter in as they try and fail to push him out. No, the stubborn man just lifts them, one after the other and moves them gently before stalking my way and lifting me in his arms.

“
My
wife. I will bathe her and you two old biddies can either wait outside or go home if you think to interfere here,” he growls, throwing me a dirty look when I can’t contain another giggle. “Laugh it up, woman, but the moment I allow another to see you naked is the day they put me in the ground.”

“That’s ridiculous! The mothers aren’t just anyone. Besides, your mama tongue-kisses me every chance she gets, not to mention Vadim’s fascination with my butt.”

“That little fucker pleads for death.”

“Language, Misha!”

He just shakes his head at the dual reprimand and carries me to the bathroom while Feliks looks on with a frown harsh enough to singe skin. Misha slams the door shut and dumps me on the vanity.

“As I was saying. You are not leaving.”