Awakening (The Magic of the Black Forest Book 2) (27 page)

Colleen reached in the shower and took all the body cleaning supplies. “Fine, if it helps you, but you can’t continue to scrub your skin raw just let the water cleanse you.” She carried everything out with her when she left.

This time when I got out of the shower I felt a smidge better. They were playing a game of rummy when I walked into the living room. Feeling uncomfortable, like I didn’t belong, I sat on the couch and watched as they finished the game. Jesse won and, of course he flaunted it. He started dancing and strutting around the living room. When he strutted past Colleen, she tripped him making me laugh. He landed flat on his face.

I looked over at a smiling Bradley. He looked relieved to see me smile. When his eyes met mine, I turned away, too ashamed.

Instead of pushing me he said, “There’s a new Blue Collar Comedy show on tonight. How about we make some popcorn and check it out?” Everybody agreed. Jess and Colleen ran into the kitchen to make the popcorn.

Left alone with Bradley anxiety swept over me.

Bradley slid slightly closer, whispering softly, “I love you, Natalia. I’m so sorry I couldn’t stop him from doing what he did to you. I’m so disgusted with myself, for not getting to you in time.”

So he wasn’t disgusted with me, he’s disgusted with himself, but for the wrong reason.

“You did save me in time. It would have been far worse had he finished what he started. I would never recover from something like that.” For the first time tonight I looked into his eyes as mine filled with tears. “Thank you for saving me again. I was so sc-scared.” Looking down at my fidgety hands I continued, “I froze. I couldn’t even focus enough to use my magic. I have never been so afraid in my entire life.” I could feel his eyes on me, I desperately wanted to look at him but couldn’t.

He got up and kneeled in front of me, “Natalia, I need to know what you’re thinking. Your feelings…  I know it’s selfish of me, but please may I take a look?”

I lifted my head and looked into his eyes. With his fingers under my chin he searched my mind. Several times he winced in pain and even growled, once so loudly that Jess came out of the kitchen. Realizing everything was okay, he turned and went back to finish the popcorn. Bradley removed his hand from my chin, got up, went back to sitting on the opposite side of the sofa and began answering my unspoken questions.

“Dave and Cheryl took Bill to another location to help him through the change. It’ll take a while but once we’re sure that Bill can be around you, Dave will bring him by.” Again I could feel him looking at me, watching my reaction, especially after seeing my concern for Bill in my thoughts. “Andrew is dead. We beat him Natalia… We won. He can never hurt you, or us, again.”

“Even though he crossed the line, I’m glad Bill is still here. He’ll probably like life as a vampire.” I hesitated a bit before finishing, “I’m also glad that you took care of Andrew. However, right now it feels like he won, not us.”

Jess interrupted us. “Hey, Brad, why isn’t the comedy show on? Come on. We’re going to miss the beginning of it.” He had a huge bowl of popcorn and plopped onto the recliner. Colleen followed close behind holding a tray with more popcorn and a few drinks. After setting everything down on the table she jumped onto Jesse’s lap and started eating his popcorn.

Bradley changed the channel and slid the popcorn in front of me. I wasn’t in the mood to eat. Grabbing a throw pillow, I curled up in the corner to watch.

***

Colleen and Jess stayed in our spare bedroom for a few more nights. When I woke in the night screaming, Colleen was the one hugging and comforting me while Bradley watched from a distance.

After about a week, I overheard Jess telling Colleen that it was time for them to go, that Bradley and I needed to work through this together, that they were interfering, delaying the inevitable. Colleen argued saying I wasn’t ready to be alone with Bradley or any man.

Although she was right, it wasn’t fair of me to expect them to put their lives on hold for me so I interrupted their conversation, telling Colleen that Jess was right. 

The next morning they went home. Sitting alone in the living room I decided it was time for me to face my fears. Unsure how to do so, I decided a walk was needed to clear my mind. Without saying a word to Bradley or Seager, I walked out the front door and around the side of the house.

Since Jessica, Anthony and Andrew came into my life I hadn’t had any alone time, always having to look over my shoulder. Today would be the first day in a very long time where I could go out without worry and without someone shadowing me.

The skies were blue, the sun was out and there was a gentle breeze, it was a beautiful day to take a walk.

Approaching the creek, I stared at the bridge that Bradley and I got married on. Both, he and Dave, built it so I could cross on my own, without getting wet. Laughing, I jumped into the creek, splashing around, playing in the water like a little kid. Floating on my back, I stared up at the trees, feeling a sense of freedom I hadn’t felt since the day I moved here, since I first met Jessica, Andrew and Anthony.  

For several minutes I swam in the creek, feeling elated now that the heavy burden that weighed me down was forever gone, turned to ashes.

Soaked to the bone and finally feeling cleansed, rid of that man’s filthy touch, I walked up the bank, towards the house. My newfound freedom had me whooping loudly, flipping cartwheels, jumping and skipping through my backyard. The cartwheels were nothing to brag about, falling twice, causing me pain, but that didn’t matter. I was alive and free. Rejuvenated, I tried to do a handstand and failed miserably, falling hard. The pain rocked through me but too happy to care, I burst out loudly, laughing.

Lying on my back, in my back yard, with my arms spread wide, I took in the beauty of the sky, the day. It’s exhilarating to feel this free.

The happiness and joy I felt vanished. My body went rigid, stilled, when I felt someone watching me. For a moment fear swept through my body, and my breath caught. Less than a second later, a tingling sensation warmed my body, chasing the fear away. Bradley stood nearby, watching me, I was sure of it. I could feel it.

Unsure where he was or why he hadn’t shown himself, I jumped to my feet and raced back to the front of the house. Walking up the steps to the front porch, I heard the sound of my quad’s engine running. The garage door opened and Bradley sped out of it, on my quad, shooting dirt and gravel into the air, ripping across the driveway towards the trees.

Seager was lounging on the porch. “Where’s he going?” I asked.

“For a ride. Why didn’t you tell us you were going for a walk?”
He looked at me and rolled his eyes
. “Never mind. Like you, he needs alone time, too.”

I didn’t respond, although it did bother me that he left without saying where he was going. I guess it was only fair since I did the same thing to him. Not to mention that I hadn’t paid any attention to him since the encounter with his father. I can’t change the past, only the future.

My magic…

I decided to find out why I couldn’t use it. I went up into my room and searched through ‘The Book’ until I found notes from my mother and how she experienced the same thing, where she couldn’t use her magic.

As suspected, my fear was the root cause of my magic failing me. Apparently there was only one way to prevent this from happening again, don’t give into the fear. Stand up to it, fight it but never give into it. Well, that is easier said than done!

My mom went on to say that the best way to get my magic back was to face my fears. I had already started that. I did a little more research before heading downstairs to see if Bradley had returned yet and to get something to eat.

Bradley hadn’t returned yet. I glanced out the window, surprised that it was dark outside already. Although concerned about Bradley’s absence, I wasn’t overly worried. Our bond kept us connected, he was nearby comforting me from afar like he had been since the day Andrew attacked me.

Using my craft, I successfully whipped up some dinner for Seager and me. It didn’t taste that good, but it was edible. Happy to be able to perform magic, we sat quietly, enjoying dinner. Afterwards, my lessons continued starting with cleaning the kitchen and the living room. When that worked, I simultaneously cleaned my room and did the laundry, all from the luxury of my sofa. 

About ten that evening I had finally finished cleaning the house. Bradley still hadn’t come home. Grabbing my pillow and blanket, I decided to relax on the sofa and wait for his return. After a few hours I went to bed alone.

The last time I laid in our bed was the morning Bradley woke me with a smile, licking and tasting the flavor between my thighs. It was such a beautiful and memorable morning. That was the same day, just a few hours later; he insisted I go into hiding with Bill as my protector. Since that day, since the day Bradley brought me home after being attacked, I refused to sleep in our bed. Instead, I slept on the sofa in the living room. Fear kept me from sleeping in our bed, fear of Bradley lying beside me, fearing his touch. Worst of all, I feared that I’d never ever feel his touch again without being afraid, without the memory of what Andrew did to me.  

Feeling my emotions, my fear, Bradley hadn’t made any attempts to hold me since the night he saved me. When he made attempts to hold me while I slept on the couch, I’d wake screaming. Or, when his cold hands touched me my body stiffened, reminding me of Andrew.

Wanting to get past my fears of being touched by a man, I wished for Bradley’s return. After putting on the television I got undressed, shut off the lights and climbed into our bed. It felt too big and empty without Bradley.

I fought against sleep for as long as I could. The last time I saw the clock it read two in the morning, he still hadn’t returned.

A restless night made it difficult to sleep heavily. After a few hours of tossing and turning, I decided I wasn’t going to get any real sleep. Still dark outside, I knew he was in the room, but I was unable to see him with the lights out. Instinctively, I reached out, searching for him in the darkness. Finding his arm first I pulled myself towards him. The closer I got to him the more my fear disappeared. As my naked body touched his, my heart stuttered. Recognizing the feeling, I longed to be in his arms, to be touching him. An agonizing sigh slipped through my lips. It felt like I couldn’t get close enough to him.

His reaction wasn’t the same as mine, it was cautious. His right hand rested lightly on my hip while the other was folded under his head.

Slipping my leg between his, I pulled his leg slowly up over my hip. Giving me no resistance, allowing me to intertwine our bodies at my own pace, he made it much easier for me.

For a brief moment anxiety reared its ugly head. Inhaling deeply, I fought the pending fear, keeping it at bay.

Skimming his chest with the back of my left hand, moving it upward, along his neck and chin, I searched for and found what I desperately sought, his lips. Tracing them with my fingertips, my body trembled and my breath caught. Bradley licked my fingers; the electricity flowed between us, seemingly drawing my body closer to his, for our lips to touch.

Breathlessly I whispered, “Bradley…” before my lips were on his, my hand running through his hair, tangling it between my fingers, crushing his mouth on mine, deepening our kiss. Reacting as I had hoped, Bradley’s cold hard lips fused with mine.

The more passionate my kiss got the heavier his breathing became. He tightened his grip on my hip and the panic within me started to rise, but I quickly pushed that emotion aside, telling myself, ‘
I’m with Bradley, he would never hurt me
.’ Feeling my raw emotions Bradley released his tight grip on my hip, holding it softly.

He tasted delicious. Unsuccessfully, I tried to press my breasts against his sculptured bare chest. I was still sore and bruised, both physically and mentally. Pressing my lower body closer to his, I felt his hard erection.

I need him… I miss him… I want him… I love him. There’s no doubt of any of that. I’m just not ready to take it any further than what we’re doing. Right now I needed him to want and love me unconditionally, to not make any sexual advances. I also didn’t want to tease him, that wouldn’t be fair. Using my magic, I lit a few candles.

“I’m sorry, Bradley…”

He placed his fingers over my lips, “No ma’am, I’m sorry.” He leaned his forehead onto mine, “I do want you, Natalia, but I will not try anything until I know you are ready. I’ll wait forever if need be.” He gazed adoringly into my eyes. My favorite sexy smile spread across his face. “Sometimes ‘it’ has a mind of its own. It’s been a while since you’ve touched me like this.” He hesitated as if he’d been unsure whether to say aloud what he was thinking, “I don’t mean to sound selfish, Natalia, but I feared that you didn’t want me anymore, that Andrew had taken you from me. Feeling you touch me again like this, I’m so thankful. I love you.”

I could see that he wanted to kiss me -- no that he needed to -- but didn’t want to push me. So I made the first advance and kissed him. He sighed with relief.

Extracting my lips from his I admitted, “You’re right; I’m not ready for that. I need to feel safe…” He backed away and removed his hand from my hip. Reaching for his hand I placed it back on my hip. “I feel safest in your arms. I’m confused right now about most things but one thing I’m sure of is that I love you. I’ve been home for days but it hasn’t felt like it until I was in your arms, here in our bed. Still, I’m not fully home.”