Arcadium (14 page)

“But this is
why I didn’t want other people hanging around in the first place. I
get stupid,” I say. “If something happened to me, Liss would be
alone. And for what? A book?”

“You can’t
think like that. You can’t hold her hand every step of the way,
just like I can’t with Henry.” Kean’s eyes narrow. “Not that we
hold hands… because that’s… just weird and… besides the point.
Anyway, you kind of have to trust them to be able to look after
themselves sometimes. Even though you don’t want to.”

“It’s hard
though.” I twist onto my side and lean my head on my hand. “I
remember once Liss and I were finding shelter for the night. We
were in a housing development, still under construction so it was
completely fenced off. We were on one side of the fence and this
guy… this grown man... comes out of nowhere screaming for help, you
know? He sees us, comes straight for us and just stares at me,
yelling for help. And here I am with a nine-year-old kid. Anyway he
keeps on screaming and rattling the fence and then the infected
people come around the corner. He didn’t even try to climb up or
run away. He just… let them have him, like he just couldn’t deal
with it.” I pause to push a stray stand of hair from my eye. “I
don’t understand it. It’s like some people just can’t look after
themselves.”

“Yeah but
that’s not your problem. You can’t be held responsible for
everyone.” Kean’s eyes slide away for a moment to the shallow end
of the pool. “Just before we ran into you on the freeway,” he says,
“Henry and I had been hiding in a house with this woman called
Marlena. She must have been thirty something, you know, normal
looking, normal acting. She was a high school teacher back before
the outbreak, so I figured she’d have to be pretty strong-minded
and relatively trustworthy.” Kean looks back at me. “And then, one
night, when Henry’s already asleep, she starts telling me that we
can’t survive with him around. He’s too slow, too difficult to look
after because he can’t walk… a big liability and all that crap. She
starts trying to convince me to leave my own brother and just let
him die.”

“Wow.”

“And Marlena’s
getting so worked up about it, you know, she’s shaking and her
voice is getting louder and louder. So at this point I’ll tell her
anything to shut her up. I say okay, in the morning we’ll leave
Henry behind and she finally calms down. Meanwhile Henry’s heard
all of this, he woke up sometime in the middle of her crazy rant,
and so as soon as Marlena falls asleep we bolt. We pack our stuff
and just roll on out of there.

“I wouldn’t
have left him, I’d rather die. I think in a way Henry keeps me sane
and I keep him alive, and it kind of works because we both need
each other. Though sometimes he drives me insane and sometimes I
almost get him killed.” Kean shrugs. “Can’t be perfect every hour
of every day.”

“I can’t
believe she tried to make you leave Henry.”

“Yeah.” Kean
gives a breath of a laugh. “And that same day we met you guys. I
pretty much thought me and Henry were dead, you know? I didn’t have
a destination, didn’t have a plan. I just felt like we had to keep
moving. I pretty much promised myself I’d never work with anyone
again but then I saw you guys. You and Liss were like Henry and me.
And on top of that you had this guy with you who didn’t speak a
word of English! I mean, that’s hilarious! Enough to send anyone
running. When you offered us a lift, I didn’t even have to think
about it. I just couldn’t believe it.” Kean rubs his thumb over his
bottom lip. “To you guys it doesn’t even matter that Henry’s in a
wheelchair. We get around it. We make things happen anyway. You
guys make me feel like I’ve got something to fall back on. Some
other reason to keep going.”

I stare at his
smile for a while. His teeth are perfectly straight and white, like
movie star teeth.

“So thanks for
giving us a lift.” Kean glances at my free hand and a thrill runs
through me. I lie back again, cross my arms over my stomach and
stare up at blue sky. Yep, I am a wus. I can deal with hordes of
infected people but I can’t deal with a single guy. “I wonder
what’s for dinner,” I say.

Kean laughs. It
sounds more like a nervous release than a happy sound. “I’m going
to hazard a guess at chocolate, chips and other closely related
items.”

Chapter
12

Liss comes to
the edge of the pool just as the sun begins to dim. “Dinner’s
ready,” she says, waving her hand. “Come on.”

Kean and I
follow her back up to the first floor but instead of heading to our
rooms she carries on up the stairs. I swap a curious glance with
Kean but we follow without protest. Liss leads us all the way to
the top floor and stops at a white door. She knocks twice and
waits.

Inside I can
hear a sudden whirl of shuffling and moving sounds. Something in me
tenses. It’s like I’m hardwired to assume hushed sounds mean
danger. I touch Liss’ arm and she looks up at me.

“Ready!” Henry
calls out. And my moment of panic subsides. Liss is still looking
at me, and she smiles, pushing the door wide open. I walk through
first, followed by Liss and then Kean. The door closes behind us
with a soft clunk.

Henry and
Trouble look up.

We’re standing
in the hotel restaurant. Light pours in from a wall of glass
leading out onto a rooftop beer garden. The room is full of tables
with white dusty tablecloths and neatly pushed in chairs. Henry and
Trouble are beside a big table in the very centre. It’s draped with
white and cream tablecloths, lit candles sit in tiny frosted
glasses and there are five place settings with big round plates,
wine glasses and shiny cutlery.

“What the…”
Kean says from my side.

Liss wanders
over and stands next to the boys. Trouble takes the lid off a pot
and starts ladling out steaming hot pasta.

“Oh my God,” I
say, and I look over at Kean. “Real food.”

Kean stares
back at me, just as shocked.

“Where did you
get all this?” I ask, walking over. I touch the tablecloth with my
fingertips and feel like laughing.

“From the
kitchen,” Henry says. “They had a portable gas stove, probably like
a back up or something, and there was just enough gas left to cook
with.”

I sit down and
Kean takes the chair opposite me. I watch Trouble filling the
plates. “What is it?” I ask.

Kean answers
with a smile. “Tomato pasta. About the only thing Henry knows how
to cook.”

Henry grins at
us both.

“I made
dessert,” Liss says, sitting next to me. “Well, I opened the tins
of fruit.”

“This is
amazing,” I say.

Henry is
already sitting in a dining chair, not his wheelchair, and when all
the plates are full, Trouble stands at the head of the table
holding a fancy looking bottle of champagne. When he pops it open,
Liss half screams, half giggles and claps her hands.

Trouble divides
it between our glasses, just a few mouthfuls for Henry and Liss,
half a glass each for the rest of us. Finally he sits down and
nods, raising his eyebrows and doing a thumbs-up sign. We all give
Trouble a thumbs-up back. It must look hilariously cheesy.

“I suppose we
should toast to something,” Kean says, raising his glass. “Umm, to
good friends, good family, and… to surviving.”

“To surviving,”
I say, and we all lean forward to clink glasses. Everyone crosses
arms and stretches across until every glass has been clinked.

The champagne
is sweet like strawberries, tingling on my tongue, with a slight
sour after kick. I glance at Kean and he catches me. I smile and
start eating my pasta. “Oh my God, Henry,” I say as I chew. “Nice
work.”

I don’t
remember the last hot meal I had; I don’t remember my last meal
before the outbreak either. Sometimes I try but it just all comes
up blank. I certainly never thought I’d eat in a restaurant again
anyway, not in this lifetime.

This should all
be impossible, but somehow when the five of us get together things
become possible: we can survive running out of fuel in a crowd of
infected people, and trekking through the pitch-dark Burnley Tunnel
to emerge back into the light. We can survive the loss of friends
and mums and dads and daughters. We can survive the hunger and the
heat and the stupid mistakes. And somehow, when all five of us are
together, it doesn’t just feel like surviving anymore, it kind of
feels like living again.

We finish every
morsel of pasta and every lashing of sauce. We sit with full
bellies as the sun falls away and leaves us in the dancing shadows
of the candles. The stars outside light up like a thousand strings
of fairy lights.

“So, this place
we’re going,” Kean says. “It’s a few hours walk from here?”

I run my finger
over the rim of my glass. “Two hours, maybe.”

“Think we can
get the car through?”

“Maybe. Maybe
not. The roads are narrower this way.”

“And when are
we going?”

Everyone’s
going to freak out; I just know it. I don’t want to ruin this night
but I have to be honest. “I was thinking noon tomorrow.”

Kean nods and
surprisingly Liss doesn’t complain.

“I hope it’s
better than this,” Henry says. “Because this has to be hard to
beat.”

Kean looks up
at me. “If it’s not, we can always come back here. So it doesn’t
matter either way.”

Liss yawns and
leans her warm forehead against my shoulder.

I smile down at
her. “Is her highness ready to retire to her royal quarters?”

Liss nods
against me. “She is.”

Kean looks
across. “We should probably do the dishes then, Florence, since
these guys cooked.” He turns to Henry. “Trouble can take you guys
downstairs, right?”

Henry nods and
gestures to Trouble. Trouble stands and lets Henry wrap his arms
around his neck. Liss follows them out and suddenly Kean and I are
alone again, one orange flame burning between us, casting warm
shadows over his face. Everything else around us is dark.

Kean leans his
elbows on the table and I sit back in my seat. “That was amazing,
huh,” he says.

“Yeah.” I smile
at the candle. “It was.”

Kean lets a few
seconds pass and drops one of his elbows. “There’s a whole table
between us. I’m not going to bite you.”

I glance away
to one side.

“Yes, you look
that horrified,” he says.

I knit my
fingers together and a smile traces my lips. “I’m not
horrified.”

Kean arches an
eyebrow.

“It’s just… if
you’re on my mind then there’s no room for anyone else.”

“For Liss,” he
says, nodding.

“And if all my
attention is going somewhere else then she’s not safe, and I’m not
doing my job.”

Kean takes a
deep breath and leans his chin against his fist. “And that’s
all?”

I nod.

“That’s the
only reason?”

I roll my eyes
and look away. “Yes. It’s the only reason.”

A smile lights
up his face like a flash of lightening. “Cool.”

We stare at
each other for a few seconds and the flame reflects in the dark
part of his eyes. “This place tomorrow, what does it look
like?”

I sigh, tapping
my finger on the tabletop. I don’t know what it is exactly that
makes me want to tell him. I mean, I’ve kept it to my self all this
way and if it’s not there I’m going to feel pretty stupid. But
there’s something in the way he doesn’t bug me about, how he acts
as if it doesn’t matter, that makes me feel like maybe it doesn’t
matter. Maybe I’ve been reverse-psychologied, but whatever. “It’s a
place called Arcadium. I heard about it on the radio at the start
of the outbreak. I don’t know what it looks like, I don’t even know
if it still exists. But…” I shrug. “That’s where I’m going.”

I watch for
Kean’s reaction but he doesn’t really have one. “You know where it
is?”

“Corner of
Warrigal and Centre Roads.”

“Arcadium,” he
says, rolling the word over his tongue like he’s tasting something
new. “What is it?”

“I think it’s a
government run refugee centre type thing.”

“So it’s
big.”

I shrug. “I
remember a big empty building near that corner. One that was
supposed to be made into a superstore but I don’t think they ever
finished it. It’s right next to a bus yard. That’s where I think it
is anyway.”

Kean is still
nodding and his eyes drop away; he’s thinking.

“What?” I
ask.

“Oh.” He waves
a dismissive hand. “It’s just… I can understand why you didn’t tell
anyone about it. Right now I have so much hope in this Arcadium
place… if it’s overrun or not there or something… it’s like, where
to from there?”

“If it’s not
there… if it’s not safety… well, I do kind of have another
plan.”

“You’re always
thinking ahead.”

“Or always
expecting the worst.”

Kean smiles.
“So, we’re good either way. If Arcadium is the answer, great. If
it’s not, on we go with the next adventure.”

“You’re more
like Henry than you realise,” I say.

Kean looks at
me, slowly blinks and then looks away. In the glimmer of
candlelight I catch his tiny smile.

Chapter
13

A little before
noon we gather in the hotel lobby and wait while Trouble starts the
car. As soon as it rumbles to life we push through the glass doors
and leave safety. It’s hot again today; the warmth is like a
scorching cloud over my skin.

The highway is
deserted as we pull out and no one says much; it’s like the tension
is a rubber band pulled tight and the first person to speak will
snap it in two.

I sit up front
with Trouble, Liss is behind me with Henry in the middle and Kean
on the other side.

I direct
Trouble down Warrigal Road and we begin the slow trawl through a
maze of abandoned cars. There are two narrow lanes on either side,
a small nature strip and then houses. We weave from our side into
the oncoming lane and bump up slowly onto the nature strip,
squeezing between a house fence and an upside down car. Then we
pick our way back, looking for a clear path.