Apocalypsis: Book 2 (Warpaint) (25 page)

“Bryn, I think maybe I want to have my finger back still attached to my hand.  And maybe we should just take a nap because you look very tired to me.”  He tried to pull his hand back, but I held on.  It forced me forward and up onto my knees in front of him.

“Stop pulling me,” I insisted.

“Stop squeezing my defenseless finger.”  He was smiling, obviously not appreciating how serious I was.

“Your bird is going to have a problem landing on your hand if you have a messed up finger in the way,” I warned.

“Don’t you mean he’s going to have a hard time
making
a bird if his finger is messed up?” asked Peter, joining us, completely non-plussed over the tension in the room.

“No!” we both said.

“Hey, feisty, watch it,” said Peter, motioning for Buster to join him and sit in his lap.

I turned my attention back to Bodo, staring him down with as serious a face as I could manage.  “Stop.  Pulling. On. Me.”

“Stop. Pulling. On.
Me
,” he said, leaning over quickly to kiss me on the mouth.

I let go of his finger and pushed him hard.  He fell backwards, his head going over the edge of the hut’s floor to dangle over the swamp.

I couldn’t help myself.  I seized the opportunity, jumping on top of him, belly to belly, and pushing his head farther back.  “Admit it!” I demanded.  “You’re planning something with that bird!”

“No!” he grunted out.  “Never!”  He reached up trying to dislodge me, pulling me higher in the process and causing me to end up with my upper body partway over the edge.

“Let go of me you big oaf!” I yelled after I felt his arms go around me.

“You started it!” he said, pushing his heels into the floor and moving us both closer to the water.

“Stop it, you idiot!  We’re both going to fall in!”

“Dat’s okay by me!” he yelled gleefully as he gave us both another shove.

I tried to pull back, but my earlier concentration on manhandling his stupid, big head made me lose my balance; I had no leverage to get away from him.  I felt the exact moment that we both shifted past the point of no return.

“Ahhhh!” he yelled, almost like a person would who was doing a cannonball into a pool, his legs coming up above us.

“You jerk!” I got out before the first splash of water hit my side.

We rolled in together, a tangle of arms and legs, sinking quickly to the bottom.  Luckily, it was only a few feet down.

My hair came out of its loose ponytail and swirled around my head like tangled seaweed.

I could feel Bodo grabbing for me, so I tried to kick him away, but he was very persistent.  I wasn’t in my element, trying to fight in murky water.  The thought of it made me instantly panic, as I remembered that disgusting snake Buster had found somewhere around us.

My feet touched the ground and I stood up, bursting through the surface of the water.  “Jesus, Bodo!  What the hell is your problem?!”

The first thing I heard other than my own voice was Peter laughing and Buster barking his ass off.

“Stop laughing!” I yelled, which only made him do it more.  I looked over, flipping my wet, stinking, lanky hair out of my face, to see Peter holding his stomach and pointing at me.

“You have … you have …”  He couldn’t get the words out, he was laughing so hard.

Bodo came up out of the water in front of me a couple feet away and shook his head like a dog, sending spray out everywhere.

I slowly wiped my eyes clear of the dirty water and glared at him.  I was trying to decide which I wanted to do more: attack him or get out of the snake and gator-infested swamp.

“What’s da matter?  You get a little wet, dare, Bryn?”  He was smiling so hard his teeth were practically glowing at me.

“Bodo, you do
not
want to mess with me right now.  I’m trying to decide whether to let you live or not.”

“Oh, you wanna go?  Come on, den.  It’s not a problem for me.”  He waved me over casually, as if he were going to show me something.  “Come on, silly girl.  I will show you who is da boss of da swamp.  I gotta hint for you, dough … it’s not you.”

He winked at me and that’s what sent me over the edge.

I dove at him, yelling my best war cry as I went.  “Ahhhhhh
yaaahhhhhh!”

The water slowed me down and gave him the few extra seconds he needed to move.  He grabbed me around the arms and pinned them to my sides, taking me and himself down backwards into the water.  

I felt the tepid swamp close in over my head again, filling my eyes and ears with its muck again.  If I hadn’t been so mad I would have been disgusted, but right now, all I wanted to do was give him the biggest nut crusher of all time.

But Bodo had learned fast and well from his time with me in the fighting ring and watching me go head to head with other guys.  He closed his legs and turned them to the side, blocking my access.  My hands were useless, only able to scratch him a little on his sides, which was totally unfulfilling.

I did the only thing left to me: I head-butted him underwater.  I could hear his muffled yell of surprise and then the loosening of his arms around me.

As soon as I could slip a hand out, I used it to grab him by the neck, pulling him up out of the water by his head.

“Gahhhh!”
he sputtered, water flying out of his mouth, a giant red blotch on his forehead.

“You’re lucky I don’t gouge your stupid eyes out right now, you fucktard,” I growled at him.

“What is dat?” he said weakly, just letting his body float and be suspended by his head in my hands.  “Dat word. 
Fucktart
.  Dat’s a new one for me.”

“Shut up.  You deserved it.”

“I’m not sure dat I did, since I don’t know da word.  But I know fuck, so it can’t be good.  I thought you liked me.”  He rolled his eyes over to me and smiled.  It came out as more of a grimace, but I couldn’t stay mad at him.  Even when I’d gone after him like that, he still didn’t try to kill me.  I would have, had I been in his shoes.

“Come on, you idiot, let’s get out of this gator toilet.”

“Toilet?  I never thought of dat.”

“Yeah, well maybe you should have before you caused us both to swim in it.”

“Dare’s gator doodles in here,” said Bodo, sounding fascinated as he looked around us.  “I wonder what dey look like.”

“You are a complete moron.  I’m outta here.”  I slogged over to the edge of the hut.

“Well, I think you haff to decide if I am dat fucktart or a moron.  I think it’s one or da udder.”

“It’s not a fuck
tart
, you … stupid German guy.  It’s
tard
, as in retard.”

“Oh.  Well.  Dat’s not very nice, is it?  To make fun of people who have dat problem.”

I instantly felt ashamed.  “It’s just a word, Bodo.  I’m not making fun of special needs kids.”

“Okay.  If you say so.”

I sighed heavily as I pulled myself up onto the floor of the hut, lamenting the fact that me very smelly shoes had just been notched up to stink level ten on a scale of ten.  There was no way I was going to be able to sneak up on the canners when they could smell me from a mile away.

“I need new shoes.”

“I’ll get you some.  What size?” asked Peter, standing next to me.

I looked up at him frowning.  “Oh, so you’re going to hop on over to Walmart and get me a pair?”

“No, stupid.  I’m going over to the supply hut to get you some new Miccosukee shoes.  They’re awesome.”

I frowned at him as I wrung my hair out.  “How come you’re not wearing them?”

He sniffed delicately.  “I’m waiting on my custom pair to be finished.  But I know you don’t care about fashion, so you can wear the kind they keep on the shelves.”

“Uh, thanks,” I said, quite sure it wasn’t a compliment.  “Fine.  I wear a seven.”

“Size seven moccasins, coming right up.”  Peter tapped his leg so Buster would follow him and disappeared into the trees.

“Size fourteen for me!” shouted Bodo at his back.

“Okay!” we heard back.  “But I’m not sure they make Sasquatch size!”

Bodo put his hands on the edge of the hut floor and boosted himself up out of the water, flipping himself around to land on his butt at the edge, his legs dangling over.

“Well.  Dat was refreshing.”  He grinned at me.

I shook my head.  “Are all Germans insane?”

“If insane means fun, den yes.  We are all da life at da party.”

“No, insane means nuts.  Crazy.  Annoying…”

“Cute?”

“No.  Not cute.”

He leaned a little towards me, fixing me with his eyes.  “Come on now, Bryn.  You can’t tell me you don’t think I’m cute.”  He winked at me.

I tried to stay serious and mad, but it was nearly impossible.  “No.  You’re not cute at all when you’re dunking me in the swamp.”

“Hey, you can’t blame dat on me.  You attacked me first.  I wass chust doing da evasiff maneuvers dat you taught me.”

“I didn’t teach you that crap.”

“Yes, you dit.  You are a very good teacher.  Maybe now you can let me teach you a few things.”  He reached over and pulled me up against him.

“You must seriously have a death wish,” I said leaning away to look at him.

“No.  You don’t scare me.  I like mean girlss.”

“I’m not mean,” I insisted.  “I’m just a little forceful sometimes.”

“Well, I like forceful girls, den.  Give da moron a kiss, forceful girl.”

“No.”

“Kiss me,” he said, puckering up and closing his eyes, leaning forward.

He had to know that he was putting himself in a very vulnerable position like that, but I just didn’t have the heart to take advantage of it, even though I was still a little tempted to knock him on in the kisser - if for no other reason than to slap that cocky look off his face.

I leaned over and kissed him quickly.  “There.  Now go away.  You smell like gator doodles.”

“You do too.”  He inhaled deeply.  “Oh, da smell of my love.  I will never forget it.”

I pushed him away and stood up.  “I’m going to take a shower.  Stay away.”

He pouted.  “I need one too.  Let’s save da water and go togedder.”

“No,” I said firmly.

“You are afraid of me, I think.”

“I might be afraid of what you’ll try to do, yes.  But I’m not afraid of you like you think.”

“Ah.  Well, at least you admit it.”  He stood up.  “I’m going to go see Nina.  You should come.”

“Speaking of Nina … are you going to tell Peter?”

“Yes.  Eventually.”

“I think you should tell him soon.  If he finds out otherwise, he’ll be hurt you didn’t tell him.”

“Okay.  Maybe tomorrow.  I can take him dare.  And you too, if you want.”  He sounded suddenly shy.

I shrugged.  “Sure.  Sounds fun.”

We parted ways, him going to see his hawk and me going to get the muck off.  I couldn’t wait to feel the cool water rinsing off the smelly gator doodle.  Hopefully my new moccasins would be waiting for me when I got back.

***

Following our afternoon naps, where we tried to sleep through the hottest part of the day and were only minimally successful, we brought our early dinner back to the hut and ate.  It was just the four of us this time, Buster included.

Buster had looked wistfully at Trip as we left the ceremonial hut with our plates, but finally decided he’d throw his lot in with us.  Peter helped sway him in our favor by handing him a hunk of his favorite snake meat.

We sat down in the kitchen area and chatted about the upcoming plans while we munched on our food.

“Are you ready for full-on recon training?” asked Peter.

“Yeah, I guess.  I don’t plan on doing anything different than normal.  Just maybe to emphasize more of the harsher moves.  We don’t have time to play around.”

“What I don’t understand is how it’s going to help against the weapons they have,” said Peter, nibbling on the edge of a hunk of dry bread.

“Well, if they come at us using guns from a distance, it won’t.  But hand-to-hand combat, yes.  Even if they have weapons, I can usually deal with it.  I’m not sure that I’ll be able to get anyone else ready for that, but I’m going to try.”

“Do you want me to have some guns and knives for you at the training?”

“Yes.  That would be great, actually.  Thanks, Peter.”  I smiled at my little manager.  He was so organized.  “Get some dull knives to start with if they have any.”

“Will do.”

“Peter, I want to tell you something,” said Bodo, sounding very formal.  There was no mistaking how important this announcement was to him.

Peter put his plate down.  “Okaaaay … shoot.”

“Well, dare’s dis thing.  Maybe a little secret.”

“About who?”

“About me.”

Peter narrowed his eyes.  “You’re not going to tell me you’re gay, are you?  Because I totally do
not
buy that.”

Bodo looked confused.  “Gay?  No.  Dat’s not … no.  I’m not gay.  I like Bryn.  I’m sorry if dat hurts your feelings, dough.”

“No.  Not at all.  You’re not my type.  Go ahead, then.  Tell me your big secret.”

“I’m not your type?  What’s dat mean?” Bodo sounded offended now.

“You’re too … I don’t know.  Big.  And loud.”

“Ah, yes.  But big is sexy.  Just ask Bryn.”

I shook my head.  “Whatever.  Tell him your secret, big guy.”

Bodo put his plate down and gave us a double bicep flex.  “Try to tell me dat’s not da good stuff right dare.”  He looked at one arm and then the other, smiling to himself.  “I do one hundred pushups every day for dat.”  He dropped his arms down in front, crossed them over his abdomen, and flexed again, looking like one of those professional wrestler guys trying to get the crowds screaming at his awesomeness.

“Like I said.  Too big,” said Peter in a carelessly casual tone, designed to make Bodo crazy.

 Bodo’s face fell and his arms sagged down, so I patted him on the shoulder.  “I think they’re really nice, Bodo.  Keep doing the pushups.”

“I don’t feel like telling my secret now.”  He picked up his plate and shoved a hunk of meat in his mouth.

“Fine,” sighed Peter.  “Your muscles are deliciously awesome.  Can you tell me now?”

“You really like dem?”

“Yep,” said Peter, totally deadpan.  “Best I’ve ever seen.  I nearly swoon every time you come near me with them.  No.  Stop.  Don’t flex again.  I might pass out.”