Any Man of Mine (18 page)

James inclined his head. Took another step. “What things?” One more step.

He was still too far away. I couldn't see his eyes. So I took a few more steps. Close enough to touch. My hand was trembling as I laid it gently on his arm and my heart trembled as I felt the warmth of his skin under his now damp shirt.

“Everything, actually.” I could see the gold flecks in his eyes now. Could see faint lines fanning out from his eyes. Could see a slight scar above one eyebrow. I touched it, wondering where it came from, and James caught my hand.

“What are you doing, Danielle?” His voice was gruff but not from anger. I could see he was as moved and as confused as I was. Or used to be.

“I'm trying to make a connection,” I said softly. “Trying to tell you what I want.”

“So you know now?”

I swallowed as his other hand rested on my waist, pulling me even closer. I nodded.

“I want to stay here. I want to try to take charge of the life I'm living and I want to do it with you.”

“But I'm a guy. The enemy.”

“You're a guy that I love.”

James looked at me a moment, then a smile crawled across his lips. “Are you sure?”

I nodded and then, suddenly, his mouth was on mine, his hands were wrapping themselves around me, holding me hard, tight and close.

I clung to him, holding him, relishing in the strength of his arms. Then, after a long, wonderful moment, he drew back, but he still held me.

“What made you change your mind?” he asked, his rough fingers slipping through my damp hair, brushing it gently back from my face. Just like he had on our “first date.” He brushed a few droplets of moisture off my face. We should seek shelter, but I didn't want to break the moment. Thunder rumbled overhead but still we stayed outside.

“Everything,” I said. “The other day, when you came to get Robin from the house…when Steve stopped by…”

His hand tightened on my shoulder. “I wanted nothing more than to plant my fist in his oily face. Just like I wanted to the first time I saw him.”

I frowned at him, distracted by his angry words. “First time?”

The anger slipped off his face and he smiled. “Our first date, remember? He came up to you making threats. And I had to be all manly and Schubert-loving, when all I wanted to do was haul back and plow him.”

In spite of the emotions that had swirled around us still, I laughed. “That's not very Christian of you, James.”

“I know. That's why I only tripped him the other day.” His smile faded away and his eyes held mine, serious now. “I was afraid for you. I'm glad I was around.”

I thought of Les, standing behind me, being all manly and Schubert-loving. “I'm glad you were, too.” I reached up and touched the scar above his eyebrow. “You make me feel safe even though I still
think, sometimes, you're a bit dangerous.” Thunder crackled above us, as if underlining my comment.

“Not to you.”

I shook my head. “Only where my heart is concerned.”

“Your heart?” he asked, his voice growing soft and teasing. “How?”

I pulled his head down to mine and kissed him, then pulled back. “Like that.” I smiled at him, letting my feelings for him flower, grow, come to fruition. Whatever it was that deep feelings do when they're acknowledged.

And as James gave me another kiss, the skies opened in earnest now and the rain came sheeting down.

His lips felt warm against my cold skin, then slowly he pulled away. He smiled down at me, water running down his face. “I love you, Danielle Hemstead. I want to spend the rest of my life trying to figure you out.”

His words sang through me like, well, like a Schubert composition. What had James said? Long melodies, both brusque and leisurely. Come to think of it, that described James to a T.

“I love you, James.” I had to raise my voice so that it could be heard over the sound of the rain clattering on the roof and puddling on the ground. “More than I thought I could ever love anyone.” I pulled his head down and in spite of the fact that we were both getting soaked to the skin, gave him a long, leisurely kiss.

James pulled back, stroked my streaming hair from my face. “Come inside,” he urged. “We need to get out of the rain.”

I shivered then, as the cold finally seeped through my wet clothes.

We ran up the path to the house. Inside he directed me to the bathroom and handed me some of Robin's clothes. I dried myself off as best as I could, cleaned my running mascara and brushed my hair. The drowned rat look, I thought. Then I laughed. I somehow don't think James cared.

When I came out of the bathroom, he had changed, as well. Blue jeans. Corduroy shirt. Looking good.

“Do you want some coffee or tea?” he asked.

I shook my head and, with the confidence of a woman who knew her man, I walked toward him and slipped my arms around him. Just because I could and because I wanted to. I looked around the house. It was even cozier than the one on the farm. He had a knack, that was for sure. Then something occurred to me and I pulled away from his warm embrace.

“Did you get the roof fixed?” I asked.

He frowned. “Roof?”

“Yeah. You moved to the house on the farm because it was leaking.” I looked around the room. No pails out. Up at the ceiling. No water spots. “You must have gotten it fixed otherwise you wouldn't have moved Sherry and Robin in here.” I narrowed my eyes at his puzzled expression and things became clear. “Don't tell me. The roof doesn't leak.”

James pulled me close and gave me another kiss, but I wasn't going to be that easily distracted.

“If this was another one of my brothers' schemes…” I warned.

James's kiss stopped me. “Actually,” he admitted in a sheepish voice, “this one was all mine. After that first date, I wanted to see you again and when you came to the riding arena you were so ticked off, I knew the only way that was going to happen was if I moved closer. So I exaggerated the leaking roof story. It leaks all right. Just not that much.”

“But there was no bet.”

He brushed another kiss over my lips. “There was no bet. That's the truth. Meeting you in the restaurant happened exactly like I told you. Me moving to your old house…well, that was my idea. And you have to admit, it was a good one.”

I held up my hand. “Please, please don't tell me that Robin and Sherry were part of this, as well.”

“No. No, and definitely no.” He sighed and shook his head. “That was completely unrehearsed, unplanned and unwelcome.”

“I don't know. I kind of liked taking care of Sherry,” I said.

“Well, if Robin sticks around, you might be able to more than you want. I'm still working on the whole responsibility thing.”

I smiled up at him, gave his arm a squeeze. “You're a wonderful brother. My own could take a few lessons from you.”

“Your brothers have their own strengths. They just need a little guidance.”

“Just like Robin.”

James pulled me into his arms again. I was liking this whole getting to know each other thing. “So we can help each other, then.”

“Yeah. We can.” I pulled his head down and gave him a long, slow kiss. And afterward, as we sat together on the couch, making plans for our future, I let a prayer of thankfulness drift up. Thankfulness for James.

Gentle yet firm. Safe yet dangerous.

A man in the best sense of the word.

My man.

Dear Reader,

My husband is a guy. I've come to accept this over time, but even more importantly, come to appreciate the very guyness of him. I have learned that though he doesn't buy me flowers regularly or jewelry or tell me he's thinking of me or cook dinner regularly, he does tell me he loves me, gives me a hug when he comes home from work smelling like diesel and sawdust, reads his Bible with conviction, telephones our children and his mother every Sunday and is available when bats need to be chased out of the house and mousetraps need to be emptied. He loves our children, loves the Lord and lives his life in his own plain, simple way. With this book, I wanted to show that sometimes we women have romantic ideals that very few mortal men can live up to, but if we take the time, we can learn to see the good things the guys in our lives can give us. I know Richard has taught me generosity, appreciation of nature and, at times, has pushed me out of my comfort zone and challenged me to get that horse down that rocky slope, chase that cow that won't pay attention, or drive that loud, noisy machine that gives me the heebie-jeebies. At the same time, I know he's learned from me. God has blessed us in our marriage, and I'm thankful for how we've grown together in our faith and in our love. I hope that those of you who are married can appreciate the good things about your husband, and those of you who aren't, can learn to see past some of the
guy
behaviors that can sometimes mask a tender heart.

P.S.: I love to hear from my readers. You can contact me at [email protected], or visit my Web site at www.carolyneaarsen.com.

1. Danielle has a preconceived notion about guys versus men. What is your take on that notion?
   
2. How would you describe the perfect man? What would he look/act like to you?
   
3. James makes the statement that most guys don't know what women want. Do you think that's true? Why or why not? Are we women so hard to understand?
   
4. What
   do
   we want? Is it attainable?
   
5. John Eldredge's book
   Wild at Heart
   has struck a chord in many men and seems to have spawned a new movement. He makes the statement that church has served to make men more like women and not allowed some of their innate wildness to come to the fore. Do you think that's true? Why or why not?
   
6. In what ways have you been guilty of judging a person based on a first impression? How long does that impression linger?
   
7. Sometimes we want the men in our lives to anticipate our wants, and then get upset because they don't. Is this wrong? What are some of the unrealistic expectations people can have about the men in their lives?
   
8. God has created a variety of men and women. How can we learn to set aside our own notions of how Christians should behave and learn to see Christ in others?