“Then we just let her scream?” he asked, horrified. Surely all this yelling indicated she was being traumatized for life. Aside from which, people were beginning to stare.
“That’s my advice,” Heather said. “Of course, you are her father. If you have a better solution, go for it.”
He shot a nasty look at her, then gazed at Angel, whose sobs had subsided as she stared at him expectantly. Clearly she thought she was on the verge of winning this round. He might not know diddly-squat about kids, but he knew a whole lot about tactical maneuvers and losses that came because one side weakened too soon.
He reached for his daughter and scooped her up. He took the book she clutched and tossed it back. “Okay, kiddo, we’re going back inside. The toys can stay in the truck for now.”
Angel stared at him in apparent shock. “No story?” she asked sorrowfully.
“Not now,” he said firmly.
Angel seemed to consider that for a minute, then nodded. “’Kay.”
Todd grinned at Heather over Angel’s head. “Take charge. Show her who’s boss. That’s the ticket.”
Heather regarded him with apparent skepticism. “If you say so. Winning one tiny battle does not guarantee you’ll win the war. Believe me, I know.”
In the diner, still basking in the glow of his triumph, he settled Angel into a booth, placed an order for cereal for her and pancakes for himself. Angel managed to steal most of the pancakes.
After breakfast, Janie came in and offered to take Angel, Sissy and Will to the park along with her son for an hour so that Henrietta, Flo and Heather could sit down with Todd and talk about the wedding. Henrietta and Flo conspired to see to it that Heather squeezed in next to him. His only solace was that Heather didn’t look one bit happier about it than he was. Proximity for the two of them was not a good thing. Hormones kept getting in the way of reason.
Todd drew a sheet of paper out of his pocket, along with a pen. “I’ve made a list,” he began, only to hear a chuckle from the woman beside him. He scowled at her. “What?”
Heather returned his gaze evenly. “Nothing. I just mentioned to the others that you would surely make a list.”
“Well, how else are we going to be sure we don’t forget something?” he demanded.
“Todd, you make lists for everything from groceries and chores to life choices,” she accused, as if it were some sort of crime, or perhaps merely evidence of a severe obsessive-compulsive disorder. “You probably have one tucked away somewhere on the options you have where Angel and I are concerned.”
“Oh, boy,” Flo murmured.
“Okay,” Henrietta said, standing up at once. “That’s it for me. I’ve got things to do in the kitchen. The wedding can wait.”
“It’s a week from Saturday,” Todd protested.
“Doesn’t matter,” Henrietta declared. “You two have things to talk about and I have things to do.”
“What things?” he demanded.
“Important things.”
“I’ll help,” Flo said, scooting right out behind her.
Left alone with Heather, Todd swallowed back another surge of the anger that had been brewing inside him for days. “How did we get from planning Henrietta’s wedding to you and me?”
“Just bad luck, I suppose,” she said, regarding him with a defiant lift of her chin. “We might as well get this over with. You’re furious because I went off and left Angel with you. I don’t blame you. It was a drastic thing to do.”
“It was damned irresponsible, is what it was.”
She didn’t even blink at the accusation. “Irresponsible how? You’re an adult. You’re Angel’s father. I left her in the best possible hands.”
“How can you say that after what I told you?”
“What you told me was a very tragic story about something that happened years ago when you were a kid. It wasn’t your fault and it has absolutely nothing to do with the man you are now. I don’t know a more responsible, trustworthy man on the face of the earth. Not only that, Angel adores you and you adore her. I can see it whenever you’re with her. I want that for Angel.” She touched his cheek. “I want it for you.”
“But what if something had happened?” he asked, unable to shut off the reel of possible disasters that ran nonstop through his mind.
“Nothing did, did it?”
“No, but—”
“Todd, what-ifs can immobilize a person. That’s not living. It’s playing it safe.”
“It wasn’t your choice to make. You should have given me a say.”
“You would have said no, correct?”
“Of course.”
“Then you wouldn’t have had six days with your daughter,” she pointed out. “Would you trade those for anything?”
He thought of the discoveries he’d made seeing things through Angel’s eyes. He thought of the way she snuggled against him, of her little-girl smell, of the trusting way she tucked her hand into his. Would he have preferred never experiencing any of that? He couldn’t honestly say that he would have. Those were memories he could cherish for a lifetime. They would last long after she and her mother went back to New York where they belonged.
“No,” he admitted reluctantly. “I wouldn’t trade the time we shared for anything.”
Just as he wouldn’t trade the time he’d spent with Heather all those years ago and again more recently. The time before she’d come into his life, the time in between when they’d been apart had been little more than existing, playing it safe, just as she’d described. He hadn’t been living at all. He wasn’t so blind that he couldn’t see that without her his world was gray and with her it was filled with color.
But he wasn’t so delusional that he thought he could capture that magic again and make it last, either. He definitely wasn’t prepared to take the next step, the leap of faith that what they had once shared could last a lifetime. Even with the example of the judge and Henrietta right in front of him, he wasn’t sure that love could conquer all.
Because of that uncertainty, he tapped his pen on the paper still in front of him.
“We’d better finish this list if Henrietta’s going to have her perfect wedding,” he said. “The logistics aren’t going to be a breeze, not in the little bit of time we have, especially since the flowers are going to have to be ordered and flown in, along with just about everything else.”
“That’s it?” Heather asked, ignoring the monumental task facing them to seize on his avoidance of a more personal topic. “That’s the end of any conversation about
us?
”
He lifted his gaze from the paper, met her indignant glare and nodded. “That’s it,” he said quietly. There was no mistaking the hurt and disappointment that darkened her eyes, but she gave him a curt nod.
“Then by all means let’s plan Henrietta’s wedding,” she said briskly, not quite meeting his gaze. “Somebody around here deserves to live happily ever after.”
“Heather—”
“Forget it, Todd. I can’t fight you about this, not now. Right now I intend to concentrate on making a week from Saturday the happiest day in Henrietta’s life.”
Her willingness to let the matter drop bothered him for reasons he couldn’t quite explain. He felt suddenly empty inside, as if he’d lost, rather than won.
Even so, he regarded her evenly and asked, “Shall we start with the flowers?”
“Sure. Why not?”
“Any preferences?”
“She hasn’t mentioned any.”
“What about you?” he asked.
“It’s not my wedding.”
“But if it were,” he persisted.
“Tropical blooms,” she said finally, a dreamy expression on her face as if she’d imagined this a thousand times. “The kind from Hawaii that smell so wonderful. Mixed with white roses in the bridal bouquet.”
Todd jotted this down, not entirely certain why, since it was Henrietta’s preferences that mattered. Since the bride continued to make herself scarce, he questioned Heather about every other detail until he knew exactly what
her
dream wedding would be like, from the design of her dress to the canapés she would want served at the reception.
Only after he’d left the diner and gone to the office, only as he was making the calls to florists, caterers and dress designers, did he realize that he wanted to give this wedding to Heather someday. He wanted her dream to come true.
Then he tried to imagine her walking down the aisle toward some other man, but his imagination balked at the image. His stomach churned as he saw his daughter scattering rose petals along the path that Heather would walk to reach her groom.
The ringing of the phone snapped him back to the present. “Yes?” he said impatiently.
“Todd?”
His heart plummeted. “Yes, Dad.” These rare calls never failed to take him by surprise, never failed to unnerve him.
“I just called…” His father hesitated, sounding uncertain in a way he never had before.
“Dad, what is it? Is something wrong?”
“No, nothing,” his father said with more vigor. “I just wanted to hear the sound of your voice.”
Now Todd knew something had to be
very
wrong. One sort of tension slid away to be replaced by another. “Dad, if something’s wrong, you have to tell me.”
“It would matter to you, after the hell I’ve put you through all these years?” his father asked, sounding surprised.
Truthfully, Todd was no less surprised by the reaction. “Yes,” he said firmly, thinking of the man he had once idolized before fate had intervened.
“Then it’s more than I deserve, son. Much more than I deserve.” His voice dissolved into a choking cough.
“Dad, are you ill?”
“Just a bad cold. Nothing to worry about. I have to go, though. Once this cough kicks in, it takes a while to settle it down.”
“Wait, Dad. There’s something I’d like you to know. I…” He sucked in a deep breath before continuing, “I have a three-year-old daughter. She’s beautiful and smart and maybe the best thing I ever did.”
He waited for a sudden shift in mood, waited for the familiar harangue about his recklessness. Instead, his father merely sighed heavily.
“Are you sure…?” his father began, then coughed. “You’re married, then?”
“No, not yet.”
“But you’re in love with your daughter’s mother?”
“Yes, I am,” Todd said. The admission made him feel as if a weight had suddenly been lifted from his shoulders. “It’s taken a long time, Dad, but I’m finally beginning to realize that what happened with Alicia wasn’t my fault, not entirely, anyway.”
“No,” his father said slowly, “it wasn’t. Not entirely.”
Another fit of coughing cut off the statement that left Todd stunned.
“Dad, what are you saying?”
“It’s not easy for me to admit this, son, but the truth is, I blamed myself for putting you in that position.”
A memory began to emerge, but Todd waited for his father to go on.
“I should never have left you that day just so I could go grab a couple of drinks with my buddies. I took my own guilt out on you. I’ve wanted to tell you how sorry I was for a long time now, but it was easier to keep silent. Your mother knew, though. That’s why we split up, because she couldn’t forgive me for what I’d done that day and what I kept on doing to you.”
Until that moment Todd had completely forgotten about his father being home the afternoon Alicia had died, had blocked the fact that his father had left the house after a call from one of
his
friends. His father was the one who was supposed to be staying home to care for Alicia. Todd’s plans to go to the mall had already been made. His friend had called only to see why Todd was late, not to entice him out of a baby-sitting commitment he’d made.
All these years he had gotten it wrong. True, he had been behind the wheel, but the accident had been just that, an accident. Maybe he had made a bad judgment call in leaving the house in the first place, but his father had made a worse one and then spent years taking his guilt out on his son.
“Thank you,” he said to his father.
“You’re thanking me? For what?”
“For reminding me of what really happened that day.”
“Too little, too late,” his father said.
“No, Dad, it was just in time. I really hope you’ll come for a visit. I’d like you to meet Heather and Angel.”
“Angel? That’s your daughter’s name?”
“Angelique, actually. Will you come?”
His father’s response was lost in another fit of coughing.
The awful sound, which he suspected was more than a cold, reminded him of just how short life was. In that instant, he knew he couldn’t let Heather get away a second time. He knew without a doubt that he loved her—and Angel—too deeply to ever let them go. Peggy’s words came back to him, her insistence that the love she and Johnny shared would triumph over whatever problems came their way.
He reached the first impulsive decision he’d made in years. “A week from Saturday would be a good time,” he told his father. “With any luck, you’ll be here for my wedding.”
25
I
n all of his thirty-three years, Todd had never really done one single wildly impulsive act. During his years with Heather, he had acted spontaneously on occasion, but always at her instigation. He supposed in a way he could blame her for this crazy idea he couldn’t seem to shake, but the truth was it was his and his alone. He didn’t even know if she would go along with it. If she didn’t, it could be the most embarrassing moment of his life. But a few moments of dramatic uncertainty would be worth it if she said yes.
To pull it off, he needed allies. He needed Henrietta and the judge. After all, what he was planning would affect their own wedding day.
He got the two of them alone in the diner after Heather had left to take Angel upstairs to bed. He locked the front door, just to be sure there were no interruptions.
“What’s this all about?” Henrietta demanded as he peered nervously through the window of the locked door. “You’re not acting at all like yourself.”
“If this is about the birds and the bees, you’re a little late,” the judge commented dryly.
“Yes, I assumed I was,” Todd said. He sat down opposite the two of them, cleared his throat. “Actually…” Words failed him.
“Spit it out, son. Is something wrong?” the judge asked, his concern mirroring Henrietta’s.
“Actually, I was wondering how the two of you would feel if I horned in on your big day.”
“Horned in how?” Henrietta asked, clearly not grasping what he was asking. “You’re right in the middle of it as it is. If it weren’t for you, Heather and Flo, we’d never pull it off.”
“We’re mighty grateful to you for that, too,” the judge added. “If there’s something you need in return, just ask. Henrietta thinks the world of you and so do I.”
Todd didn’t consider himself a sentimental man, but the judge’s brusque pronouncement brought a lump to his throat. He realized that he’d somehow found himself a family in Whispering Wind, something he’d never expected when he’d come here so reluctantly months earlier.
“I want your ceremony to be a surprise wedding for Heather and me, too,” he said in a rush, then sat back while they stared at him in stunned silence. He took hope from the fact that neither of them had barked out a flat no to the unusual request.
“Oh, my,” Henrietta finally murmured, eyes shining. “If that isn’t the most romantic thing I have ever heard in my life.”
The judge looked more skeptical. “If you don’t mind my saying so, it sounds a bit risky. Most women prefer not to have something like this sprung on ’em.” He glanced at the woman beside him. “They want to take the time to consider a proposal from every which way.”
Henrietta frowned at him. “I had my reasons, old man. Heather doesn’t have a doubt in the world about Todd. She’ll be thrilled.” She beamed at Todd. “I say go for it.”
“You won’t mind sharing the day?” Todd asked. “You’ve waited a long time for it. If you’d prefer to keep it all to yourselves, I certainly understand.”
“A wedding day ought to be unique and memorable,” Henrietta said. “This ought to guarantee that. It ought to be about love, and judging from the way you look at that girl, I suppose it is definitely about that, too. I can’t wait to see Heather’s expression when she figures out what you’re up to. Do you have something in mind for springing it on her?”
“She’s going to be a bridesmaid for you, right?”
Henrietta nodded.
“Then how about when she’s walking down the aisle?”
“Kinda last-minute, don’t you think?” the judge asked again. “She could turn right around and hightail it out of there, leaving you and all the rest of us looking like fools.”
“She might,” Todd agreed. “But I figure it’s my best shot at showing her just how serious I am. The proposal has to be spontaneous and risky. It has to be daring enough to prove that I love her and that I will go to any lengths to show her just how much. That where she’s concerned, I’m willing to throw caution to the wind.”
The judge turned to Henrietta. “Well? Will it work? Or will we all end up with egg on our faces and our wedding day in ruins?”
“She’ll say yes,” Henrietta said with confidence.
“I hope you’re right,” Todd said fervently.
“The girl’s not an idiot,” Henrietta said. “Though for some time now, I’ve had to wonder about you.” She grinned at him. “You’re restoring my faith in your good sense.”
“Think we can pull off the legalities without giving away the game?” Todd asked the judge.
“You’ve come to the right person,” he declared, finally getting into the spirit of it, now that Henrietta had given the idea her full-fledged blessing. “I do believe I’ve got the power to pull this off without a hitch. Might as well be
some
advantages to all my years on the bench. I’ll have a word with the minister, too, so he won’t be taken by surprise.”
For the first time since Heather had appeared in Whispering Wind, Todd had the feeling that he had his life back under his own control. It was ironic, really, since once he married Heather, he doubted he’d have another moment when he felt that way again.
“Do you think there’s something odd going on with Todd?” Heather asked Flo a few days before the wedding.
“Not that I’ve noticed. Why?”
“He’s got this look in his eyes. I can’t explain it. Every time he catches my eye, I get the sense that he knows something I don’t. It’s like there’s this deep, dark secret and he’s just about to pop.”
“A good secret or a bad one?”
“Exciting, from the looks of it.”
“Have you asked him?”
Heather shook her head. “No. We’re not actually speaking, not unless we have to. We’re polite for Henrietta’s sake, and we’re civilized when he picks Angel up to take her on some outing every evening, but that’s it.”
“He’s spending evenings with Angel?” Flo asked.
“Believe me, you are no more stunned by that than I am. He insisted on it. For weeks he wanted no part of custody. Now he’s spending almost as much time with her as I am. Angel adores him. You know daughters and their daddies. There’s a special bond there.”
“You almost sound jealous.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m delighted. It’s what I’ve wanted all along.”
“You just wanted to be a part of the family,” Flo guessed. Her gaze narrowed. “You’re still in love with him, aren’t you?”
Heather sighed. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Why? Because he says it doesn’t?”
“It pretty much takes two to do that particular tango,” Heather said.
“He’s in denial,” Flo said. “Believe me, I know all about male denial. Joe is king of it.”
Heather knew better. She knew that Joe had every intention of asking Flo to marry him. He was just waiting for her to understand that he loved her because of the woman she’d become, not the sex object she’d always thought herself to be.
“Has it occurred to you that Joe values you as a woman, not just someone to sleep with?” Heather asked, trying to help Joe out by nudging Flo in the right direction. The woman’s self-esteem needed a serious adjustment.
Flo’s expression turned thoughtful, but then she shook her head. “The two go hand in hand. No man wants a woman unless he also finds her desirable. Joe treats me like his sister.”
Heather laughed. “Honey, no man kisses his sister the way Joe kisses you.”
Flo blushed furiously. “Okay, that’s true, but—”
“No buts. The man is crazy about you. He’s just waiting for you to start valuing yourself.”
Flo regarded her hopefully. “You think so?”
“I know so.”
Flo grinned. “Then how do I go about letting him know that I think I’m the best thing ever to walk into his life?”
“Just go with the program. Stop trying so hard to get him into bed and concentrate on all the other things you two have in common. Show him what a multidimensional woman you’ve become, instead of focusing all the time on the one area where you always felt comfortable with men. He needs to know you’re not just lumping him in with all those other guys from your past, that you’re sharing a side of you with him that no other man ever got to know.”
“I get it. Make him see how special he is to me, but not just for the same old thing.”
“Exactly. Sex is easy. Love is hard. Nobody knows that better than I do,” Heather said with a deep sigh.
“If you ask me, Todd is just being stubborn.”
“You ever know a man who wasn’t?”
“No,” Flo admitted. “But he’ll come around, just like you say Joe will. I guess men have to do things at their own pace, so we don’t get the idea that we have the upper hand.”
“I suppose,” Heather said glumly. Given the pace Todd was setting, she’d be Henrietta’s age before he got around to forgiving her, much less doing anything about the fact that he loved her.
When Friday night’s wedding rehearsal finally rolled around, Heather watched in amazement as Todd orchestrated the event with the skill of a military tactician. Give the man a thousand little details, and not a single one escaped his notice. Give him a woman who was crazy in love with him, and he couldn’t seem to see her at all. It was extremely frustrating.
Worse, with Henrietta and the judge acting like a couple of lovestruck teenagers, and Joe and Flo gazing deeply into each other’s eyes and stealing kisses every chance they got, Heather felt completely left out, romantically speaking. Watching so much happiness was stirring up a whole lot of envy, especially when the man who could change all that for her was right in the same room.
Todd seemed oblivious to the fact that out of the entire wedding party, at least among the adults, they were the only pair not connecting. She wanted to smack him and tell him to wake up and smell the coffee.
But she kept silent. She was not about to spoil even a second of Henrietta’s big moment with a petty little spat with Todd. If he wanted to hold a grudge, let him. She spent the entire rehearsal dinner pushing food around on her plate and pretending to ignore the mule-headed male at the opposite end of the table who seemed totally captivated by his daughter.
At the end of the dinner, Angel crawled out of Todd’s lap and toddled toward Heather. “Night, Mama. I go with Daddy.”
Heather’s gaze shot from her daughter’s face to Todd’s. “Excuse me?”
“I thought maybe she could spend the night at my place tonight.”
She told herself the reason she found the idea so irritating was that he hadn’t discussed it with her first, but the truth was she was flat-out jealous.
“Won’t you have too much to do to be worrying about Angel?” she asked.
“Everything’s under control. I thought you might appreciate a good night’s sleep and some extra time to get all gussied up for the ceremony in the morning. I’m sure Henrietta would like you and Flo on hand early. If Angel’s with me, she’ll be out from underfoot.”
“Yes, I’m sure Henrietta would appreciate the extra help. That’s very thoughtful of you,” she said grudgingly.
He gave her a sharp look. “If it’s a problem…”
She sighed. “No, of course not. It’s a very sensible plan.”
He grinned. “That’s me, Mr. Sensible.”
“Don’t sound so proud of yourself. It’s an annoying trait.”
“Maybe I’ll work on changing it,” he said easily. “You never know.”
“You?”
“Darlin’, your skepticism wounds me. What kind of man doesn’t change?”
“Your kind,” she said at once.
He didn’t seem especially concerned about the accusation. In fact, before she realized his intention, he gave her a quick, hard kiss, then reached for Angel’s hand. “Let’s go, munchkin. Mama’s got to get her beauty sleep. Tomorrow’s a big day.”
“Big day,” Angel echoed, nodding. “Gonna be a wedding.”
He winked at her. “That’s right, baby. There is definitely going to be a wedding.”
Heather watched the two of them walk away hand in hand and wondered why she didn’t feel happier about having accomplished the goal that had brought her to Whispering Wind. The answer, of course, was obvious. Even Flo had seen it. Heather wanted more. She wanted the man she loved to want not just Angel in his life, but her. She wanted Todd to be madly, head over heels in love with her the way he’d once been.
But she had to wonder if he would ever let it happen.
Todd cursed the crazy notion that he’d had to bring Angel home with him. He’d wanted Heather to be rested and receptive when he popped the question at the church, but he hadn’t realized he was going to be sacrificing his own sanity to accomplish it.
Over the past couple of weeks he had foolishly thought he’d become adept at handling Angel’s routine. Unfortunately he was discovering this morning that getting Angel dressed in shorts and a T-shirt was one thing. Getting her all dressed up for Henrietta’s wedding to the judge and his own possible wedding to her mother was something else again.
He was soaked from head to toe by the time he had her bathed and into the frilly flower-girl dress Henrietta had delivered for her. The damn dress must have had a million tiny buttons and he was all thumbs.
He had exactly ten minutes to shower, shave and get into his own tuxedo if they were going to get to the church on time. He turned the apartment upside down trying to find the diamond-studded wedding ring he’d bought for Heather, then discovered it was already in his pocket. He was a wreck by the time they finally drove to the church.
As he gave Angel one last survey before they walked inside, he looked into her precious upturned face.
“You remember what we talked about?” he asked.
“Uh-huh.”
What had he been thinking trusting his fate to a three-year-old? “Are you sure?”
“I carry flowers,” she said.
“And?”
“Mama’s ring.”
“Exactly. Don’t lose it, okay?”
She nodded solemnly.
Todd checked one more time to make sure the ring was securely tucked into the little pocket Henrietta had sewn onto the flower-girl dress. Satisfied, he took Angel to find the bridal party. Unwilling to risk a bad-luck glimpse of his own prospective bride, he turned Angel over to Flo.
“Bye, Daddy.”
“Bye, Angel. Not a word, okay? It’s our secret.”
Flo regarded him intently. “What secret?”