“An accident,” Megan insisted. “This baby I’m carrying could choke on its formula. You can’t live your life anticipating the worst. You can only do everything possible to guard against an avoidable tragedy. Trust me, Angel is as safe with you as she would be out at the ranch. Probably more so, when you consider all of the horses and equipment out there.”
“I don’t know…”
“Let her stay,” Megan urged. “Not just for her sake, but for yours.”
On a rational level, Todd knew she was right, could see the value in a trial-by-fire immersion into fatherhood. But in his gut, a million doubts churned.
Then he saw Angel gazing at him so trustingly, thought of Heather’s blind faith in him as she’d left their daughter on his doorstep.
Suddenly he saw why she’d done it just this way, why she’d gone off without asking him, without any warning. This wasn’t about retaliation at all, as he’d first suspected. She’d wanted to prove in the only way she knew how that she had complete faith in him, that nothing he’d revealed about his sister’s death mattered. His father might not have forgiven him, might have taken every opportunity to remind him of his recklessness, but Heather was cut from a different cloth. She knew exactly who he was, and she trusted him with the most precious thing in her life, their daughter.
Maybe, just maybe, he should have as much faith in himself. Maybe it was time to concede that the father he’d respected and loved might be wrong. Maybe it was finally time to put the past behind him where it belonged and live in the here and now, with this child who’d been left so trustingly in his care.
He figured in another million years, if he survived the next few days, he’d be able to forgive Heather for putting him to this test. He wasn’t even going to think about the future that might open up for the two of them if he passed the test.
“Okay,” he said at last. He scowled at Megan. “But you are on twenty-four-hour call. I’m putting your number and Henrietta’s on speed dial. If Angel so much as whimpers and I call you, I expect you to drop whatever you’re doing and get over here immediately. That includes taping, sex, anything at all. Okay?”
Megan chuckled. “You’ll have to talk to Jake about the sex part, but as for the rest, yes. I’ll rush right over if you need me. You’re not going to, though. You and Angel will be just fine.”
To his astonishment and relief, Todd didn’t need a savior to rush in and take over. Thanks to the computer and his fax machine, he was as linked to his office as Megan had been when the headquarters had been in New York and she’d been in Wyoming. He settled in to keep a very close eye on his daughter.
For a three-year-old, Angel was surprisingly self-sufficient. To his undying relief, she was apparently long-since potty-trained. She had very definite opinions about what clothes she wanted to wear, mostly the ones she’d arrived in. That meant doing a load of laundry every afternoon during nap time and again at night, but it was better than arguing in the morning or struggling to put something else on a squirming child who was resisting.
By Saturday afternoon, he had come to savor nap time. He collapsed onto the sofa, exhausted from entertaining a child who apparently had more energy than any aerobics instructor or marathon runner on the face of the earth. She wasn’t demanding, but she was definitely not a kid who could be left in front of the TV for hours on end. He took her for endless walks, during which she delighted him with her observations, and after which he was more worn-out than she was.
She needed activities—coloring, reading, dolls—along with someone to talk to, morning, noon and night. She was a very social child and Todd was her only companion. He’d had no idea what kind of pressure that entailed. His admiration for Heather increased tenfold.
He discovered that Angel was almost as opinionated about food as he was, though their tastes varied wildly. After the first two days when he ran out of her favorite cereal and couldn’t produce another box, she announced, “We go to ’Retta’s. She gots it.” No other option would appease her.
Todd had been dreading this moment. It would pretty much make a public declaration that Angel was his. Although to be honest, just about everyone in town had probably long ago guessed the truth. It
would
have to be Sunday, though, when everybody in Whispering Wind was likely to be in and out over the course of the morning.
He consoled himself with the prospect of possibly getting some information on Heather’s whereabouts out of Henrietta. She had been surprisingly closemouthed on the phone, which suggested she knew more than she’d let on. He figured she’d be less reticent face-to-face.
“Let’s do it,” he agreed, suddenly aware that Angel’s expression was beginning to cloud up. He’d learned that the quickest way to avoid tears was to give in. He really hated to see her cry. She had waterworks that could bring a man to his knees.
It was the first time since Angel’s arrival that he’d attempted to go anywhere in his car. Not until he was ready to go outside did he think about his lack of a car seat. For an instant he considered trying to make do with a seat belt, but he dismissed the notion at once. First thing tomorrow, he’d do a little research on the best ones on the market, then buy a car seat. In the meantime, they could walk. Someone in town with a car seat would give them a ride home.
As soon as the decision to buy a car seat was made, he stopped in his tracks. He realized he was already thinking long-term. When had that happened? When had he started to adapt, to accept Angel’s presence? When had he started thinking like a father who was in it for the long haul?
He glanced at Angel, who was toddling alongside him, clinging to his hand and chattering a mile a minute, making nonstop observations about passersby and the world around them. A lump formed in his throat.
When had he stopped being terrified and fallen in love with this miracle who was his child?
23
“H
ave you seen Todd?” Heather asked Henrietta when she could stand the silence no longer and finally called her boss early Sunday morning hoping for news about Todd’s reaction to her drastic measures.
“No, but he has called here half a dozen times a day, asking questions. What do you want me to tell him?” Henrietta asked, sounding more disgruntled than usual. “I swear, if I had known you intended to run off and leave that little girl with him without warning him ahead of time, I’m not so sure I’d have agreed to give you time off.”
“This was something that had to be done,” Heather assured her. “If you’d said no, I would have quit.”
“You aren’t running out on the two of them, are you?”
“Absolutely not.”
Henrietta plunged on as if Heather hadn’t spoken. “Because if you are, then there are a few things you and I need to get straight. I wouldn’t be one bit happier about that than I would be if Todd hurt you.”
“I’m not running out,” Heather promised.
“Then when will you be back?”
“That depends.”
“On what?”
She couldn’t very well tell Henrietta that it depended on how long it took for Todd to wake up and see the light. She hadn’t quite figured out how she would know when that happened. She assumed it was a good sign that he hadn’t foisted Angel off on Henrietta or Megan.
“A few more days. A couple of weeks at the most.”
“Where are you?”
“I’d rather not say. I don’t want you to have to lie to Todd if he asks.”
“What do you mean if? More like when. He’s walking in the front door now. And I can tell from his expression that he’s got more than breakfast on his mind.”
“I’ll let you go, then. Give Angel a hug for me. She is with him, isn’t she?”
“Of course she is. Where else would she be? Looks real cute, too. Of course, her hair’s in tangles. Men never did know how to do a little girl’s hair right. She probably cried when he tried to brush it and that put an end to that.”
Heather grinned at the image of Todd struggling to tame Angel’s curls. Suddenly tears stung her eyes at having missed such a moment between father and daughter. She just had to keep reminding herself of the goal.
“I’ll be in touch,” she promised, and hung up before Henrietta could persuade her to talk to Todd. If she heard his voice, gave in now and came home, it would ruin everything she’d been trying to achieve.
She’d no sooner hung up than the phone in her motel room rang. Startled, she stared at it, trying to imagine who could possibly be calling. No one knew she was here.
Since the insistent ringing didn’t seem to be stopping, she picked up the phone. “Hello,” she said cautiously.
“So, you
are
there,” Jake said with more than a little exasperation. “Heather, what the devil were you thinking?”
“How did you find me?” she asked, ignoring his question.
“It wasn’t all that difficult. A quick trace on your credit card by an investigator. If you’re planning to go on the lam, you really need to be better at it. I assume you’re hiding out from Todd to teach him a lesson.”
It was close enough to the truth. “More or less,” she conceded.
“Does that mean you’re prepared to give him sole custody of your daughter?”
“Of course not,” she said indignantly. “Why on earth would you think that?”
“Because that’s the risk you’ve taken by doing something this rash and impulsive. He could use this in court to have you declared an unfit mother.”
In her wildest dreams she couldn’t imagine Todd deciding that he would make a better parent than she was. In fact, the whole idea had been to prove to him that he was capable of being a parent at all.
“That’s not going to happen,” she said, though Jake’s fear that it might shook her confidence.
“Well, I hope you know what you’re doing, because right this second, I’d have a real hard time defending your actions. You left that child all alone on his doorstep, Heather. When Megan told me, she was furious, even though I think she understood what you were trying to accomplish. I believe ‘irresponsible’ was one of her kinder descriptions. To be honest, I can’t say that I blame her.”
“I was right there until he took her inside,” she said, defending her actions. “Believe me, Angel was never in any danger and she was never alone, not the way you’re implying.”
“If you were so desperate for some time to yourself, all you had to do was ask. Angel could have come to the ranch and stayed with Megan and me. Tess would have loved it.”
“Jake, it isn’t about my getting away. It’s about giving Todd a chance to see that he’s capable of being a father. I can’t explain, but this was the only way I could think of to give the three of us a chance at a future together.”
Jake fell silent as he digested that. “I see. Is he going to figure that out?”
“Once the panic wears off, yes,” she said. “Jake, I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t believed it was the best thing for Todd, Angel and me. The biggest risk of all was to me. Todd might not forgive me, but he won’t take Angel away. I’m sure of that.”
Jake sighed heavily, clearly not thoroughly convinced. “I’ll take your word on that for now, but don’t stay away too long, Heather. A court might not care that much about the reasons you chose to abandon your little girl.”
“I did not abandon her,” she repeated in frustration. “Why can’t you see that?”
“Because right this second, all I can see is that little girl standing outside ringing Todd’s doorbell. It sends a chill down my spine.”
“She was never out of my sight,” Heather repeated. “Please, Jake, you have to stay with me on this. I just talked to Henrietta. Todd and Angel are doing fine. I just need another couple of days for my plan to work. If it fails, I swear to you that the worst that can happen is that I will accept Todd’s settlement offer and Angel and I will go back to New York.”
“Two days,” Jake said, seizing on her self-imposed deadline. “That’s it. I’ll try to keep Megan’s temper in check until then. But if you’re not back here by suppertime Tuesday, something tells me all hell is going to break loose.”
“I’ll be there,” she promised. She just had to pray that would be long enough for Todd to grasp the point she’d been trying to make.
Todd had never before been away from the office for four straight days. He’d barely even taken weekends off the past couple of years. On Monday morning, he had no choice—he would have to go in and deal with all the little crises that had arisen during his absence on Thursday and Friday. Normally he would have slipped in over the weekend and caught up, but with Angel around that hadn’t been feasible.
In fact, she’d settled into his apartment as if she’d been there forever. After breakfast on Sunday, she’d insisted on getting some of her toys from the apartment above the diner. They were now scattered around the living room, turning what was once tidy and bland into colorful chaos.
Even so, he couldn’t seem to help chuckling at the arrangement of dolls asleep on a footstool in front of the fireplace or the stuffed bear nuzzling a pillow on the sofa. Angel’s “babies” had their own nighttime routine, he’d discovered, and they each had to have a bedtime story. It was a wonder he’d gotten to bed by midnight. He had to wonder if Heather caved in to so many demands, or if Angel simply knew that in him she’d found a real sucker.
Monday morning, showered and half-dressed, he brewed himself a pot of gourmet coffee, then sank wearily onto a kitchen chair to savor a few minutes of rare quiet. Before he could truly enjoy it, a wail from the bedroom cut through the silence and had him stumbling to his feet. He stepped on a plastic figure—one of dozens she seemed to have from various fast-food restaurants and movie promotions—then limped toward the bedroom on his sore foot.
He wasn’t sure what calamity he expected, but it wasn’t the sight that greeted him. Angel was sitting in the middle of the bed, tears streaming down her cheeks as she gazed around the room in sleepy confusion.
“I wants my mama!” she wailed.
Didn’t they both, Todd thought wryly as he stared at her helplessly. He sat on the edge of the bed and Angel promptly scrambled to climb into his lap and snuggle against his chest with a tiny sigh.
“Where’s my mama!” she asked on a hiccuping sob.
“She’s away on a little trip, sweetie, remember?”
A thumb popped into her mouth. Big green eyes swimming with tears gazed at him solemnly. Todd could have cheerfully shot Heather on sight right at that moment.
“You’re staying with Daddy,” he reminded her, hoping that would reassure her, even if it did precious little to soothe him.
Her expression brightened. “Daddy,” she murmured happily. “’Kay.”
He stared at her. That was it? The storm was over?
“We gonna play at the park today?” she asked, already scooting out of his arms and heading for her clothes, which he’d once again washed the night before. “Sissy come, too?”
“No, we’re going to Daddy’s office today,” he told her.
Tangled in the T-shirt she was trying unsuccessfully to get over her head, she had no comment on that. Todd helped her with the shirt, then plunked her on the bed so they could deal with shoes and socks. It was not a quick task. She preferred to do them herself, snapping the Velcro buckles into place with evident satisfaction, but she was usually willing to let him switch them to the correct feet afterward before scrambling down from the bed and toddling off to the kitchen in search of cereal. He’d bought the biggest box in the store after they’d left Henrietta’s the day before.
He realized as he tried to gather up enough toys to keep Angel entertained that he should have arranged for a sitter. Finding one now on such short notice would be impossible, though, and he couldn’t rely on Henrietta. She had a business to run, too.
After breakfast, he piled Angel into the pickup’s borrowed car seat, lent to him the day before. He vowed once again to buy his own before the day was out.
Usually the drive to the production facility was his favorite time of the day. He could spend those few minutes planning his schedule and pondering problems that needed creative solutions. Today, Angel had a thousand and one things to say as they drove. When she wasn’t delivering her opinion on something, she was asking questions, most of them questions for which he had no answer.
“Why’s the sky blue?” she asked.
“Sorry, sweetie, I have no idea.”
“How come?”
“Because I never checked it out. Maybe there’s a book on the subject. Or we can look on the Internet when we get to the office.”
“’Kay.” She fell silent, but not for long. “Hey, Daddy?”
“Yes.”
“Are there boy cows and girl cows?” This as they passed a pasture dotted with an entire herd.
“Yes.”
“How do you know which is which?”
Oh, boy. “You can just tell, that’s all. Boy cows are called bulls.”
“’Kay.” Blessed silence fell. “Hey, Daddy.”
“Mmm-hmm?”
“Do you gots a mommy and a daddy?”
“Yes,” he said warily. That was definitely not a topic he cared to pursue.
“Are they my grandma and grandpa?”
He hadn’t thought about it before, but the relationship was undeniable. He had to wonder how they would feel once he told them. His mother would probably be overjoyed, might even pay him a long-overdue visit, but his father? He would probably rail that the child was doomed.
“Daddy, are they?” Angel prodded.
“Yes.”
“Where are they?”
The truth was, he wasn’t sure. The last time he’d heard from his father, he’d been living in New England. His mother had been in Palm Beach last winter, but no doubt had moved on. Neither of them stayed anyplace for more than a few months at a time. For the first time, he recognized that they’d found their own ways of hiding from the past.
“I’m not sure,” he told Angel.
“In heaven?”
He turned a startled gaze in her direction. “No, not in heaven. Why?”
“Because Sissy’s mommy and daddy are in heaven.”
Todd suspected that Lyle Perkins was somewhere else entirely, but he kept that opinion to himself. “She told you that?”
“Uh-huh.”
Once again, there was silence, but it didn’t last more than a minute or two.
“Daddy?”
“Yes.”
“I gots to go to the potty.”
“Okay. We’ll be at the office in just a minute.”
“Now, Daddy,” she said with urgency.
The next couple of minutes were among the most awkward of Todd’s life as he slammed to a stop on the side of the road and helped Angel out of the car to a makeshift and hardly private bathroom in some tall grass.
“Daddy, that cow is watching me,” she protested.
“No, he’s not.”
“I can’t go with him watching me.”
Todd moved her to the opposite side of the road, where the mission was finally accomplished.
By the time they got to the office, he was so worn-out he could have happily sprawled on the couch and taken a four-hour nap. Instead, he prepared for his 10:00 a.m. meeting with Megan, which was likely to include a whole lot of questions about why he’d dragged his daughter to the office, as well as why he still had her at all. It was not a conversation he was looking forward to.
At fifteen minutes before ten, Peggy stuck her head in. “Got a sec?”
“Sure.” She came in, caught sight of Angel and grinned. “New assistant?”
“Don’t ask. What can I do for you?”
“Well, actually, I came in here to ask what you’d think about scrapping that segment on summer berries today, but I didn’t have anything specific in mind to replace it. Seeing Angel, I think I do. Can I borrow her?”
“You want to borrow my daughter?” He was torn between curiosity and relief.
“Your daughter?” she said slowly. “I see.”
It was obvious that she had a lot of questions, but she refrained from asking them. Instead, she merely repeated her request. “Can I borrow her?”
“Of course,” he said a little too eagerly, then caught himself. “For what?”
“We’ll do something on teaching kids to cook. I’ll see if I can get mine over here before we tape, and maybe Tess, too. A lot of moms are probably frantic this time of year trying to think of ways to entertain the kids, especially on a rainy day. Maybe we can give them some ideas for simple recipes.”