His gaze searches mine and he obviously finds what he’s looking for because he nods. “Then I’ll help you through it. We’ve talked about this before, Anna, this beautiful body of yours is for my touch only.”
Heat pools low in my tummy at his possessive words. “Yes,” I whisper, “only you.”
“That’s right, baby, you are mine,” he affirms, before trailing his lips down my throat, leaving a path of heat in its wake. “My Anna.”
I smile, and my tummy does a little flip like it always does when he calls me
his Anna
. With a sigh of pleasure I weave my fingers through his disheveled hair as he brings my body flaring back to life again. His mouth descends lower and lower until he reaches the edge of my soft yellow dress that’s bunched low at my waist. He finishes removing the silk material and lets it fall to the floor, leaving me in only my matching lace panties. His face drops between my legs with a groan and he inhales deeply. I squirm beneath him as he skims his nose along the damp fabric, passing over the bundle of nerves that screams for his attention.
“You want my tongue in your pussy, baby?” he asks, his words vibrating against me.
Oh god, I love it when he talks like that to me.
“Yes,” I respond breathlessly. I love all the dirty things he can do with his mouth, just as much as I love pleasuring him with mine.
“Good, because I want that, too. I always want that.”
My teeth sink into my bottom lip with anticipation as he slips my panties from my body, leaving me completely naked for his view. The cool air whispers over my heated flesh and causes goose bumps to break out over my skin.
“You’re so fucking pretty, Anna.” His words are gruff with arousal and rake over my already honed senses. Taking two of his fingers he swipes them through my wet flesh before inserting first one, then the other, deep inside of me. I gasp at the exquisite invasion. “So wet for me.” He groans then begins circling my clit with his thumb. “We’re going to get you nice and ready for my cock, baby.” His face lowers and he takes a long, leisurely lick of my most intimate part.
I cry out in pleasure and my back bows off the bed. He lays an arm across my stomach and holds my hips in place while he devours me. His tongue moves with skillful precision, knowing exactly where to lick and how much pressure to use.
My hands fist the sheets as he brings my body to highs I never knew were possible until him. As his fingers speed up their rhythm, my tummy pulls tight with my impending orgasm and Logan senses it. “Give it to me, Anna, let me taste it, baby.” The vibration of his erotic words sends me crashing over the edge. Ecstasy rushes through every nerve ending in my body as I soar to a place that’s sheer bliss. A place where nothing else matters but pleasure. He drags out my release for as long as possible, not letting up until I’m completely soft and sated.
Ever so slowly I float back down and try to grasp reality. Logan kisses the inside of my thigh before trailing his mouth upward, tasting and nipping over every bare inch of my skin until he reaches my lips. I wrap my arms around his neck and succumb to his kiss. Our flavor mixed together is erotically beautiful.
Pulling back, he stares down at me with question. “Are we moving forward or am I going to hold you for the rest of the night? Either one is good with me, Anna.”
The fact that he gives me an out if I want it, after he went through all this trouble, sends my already emotional heart into a tailspin. “I want you to hold me.” He nods without hesitation, but before he can move I tighten my arms around his neck. “After you make love to me,” I add with a smile.
A sexy smirk tugs at his lips. “I like that plan, baby. It’s way fucking better than mine.”
He cuts off my giggle with a brief kiss then stands. His fierce gaze never wavers from mine as he finishes ridding himself of his clothes. My eyes roam down his naked body and, like always, my heart skips a beat at his beauty. His body is truly nothing short of perfection. His muscles are long and lean, but so defined it looks like he was carved from stone. Swirling black ink marks the base of his left hip, the design coloring his ribs, shoulder and down his arm. Most people are intimidated by his appearance, but not me. I think he looks powerful, lethal and absolutely beautiful, but that’s because I know what he looks like on the inside.
“You make my dick so hard when you stare at me like that.”
My eyes snap up to his and my face flames with heat for getting busted gawking at him. But I toss him an unashamed smile. “I can’t help it, you’re beautiful.” I snicker at his grunt. He hates it when I tell him he’s beautiful, but that’s what he is, inside and out.
My amusement quickly vanishes and apprehension takes its place as I watch him sheathe his erection with a condom. Fear begins to crawl up my throat, but I try to shove it back down.
I will not let anything rob me of this moment.
Even though I give myself the pep talk, by the time he’s on top of me my heart is pounding so loud it’s all I can hear. Logan stares down at me, his eyes intense. “If you want to stop at any time you just say the word and we’ll stop. Understand?” I nod, a little shakily. “Say it, Anna. Tell me you understand?”
“I understand.” His gaze searches mine and I can tell he’s still hesitant. “I’m not going to lie, I’m terrified right now. But I want this. I want you more than anything.”
His expression softens just before he leans down and presses a gentle kiss to my cheek. “Don’t be scared, baby, I have you.” His reassurance adds to the array of emotions raging inside of me.
Grasping his erection he slides it through my wet heat, lubricating it with my arousal. I suck in a sharp breath when the tip of him enters me. Blood rushes in my ears and the dark memory from so long ago tries to invade me. It’s so strong I swear I can smell the desolation and death from the cell. I clam up and squeeze my eyes shut tight, trying to fight off my panic.
“Anna, look at me!” I open at Logan’s sharp command. “Stay with me, baby. Look in my eyes. Look at who’s inside of you.” I stare up at him, his face blurry from unshed tears. He stills halfway inside of me. “Do you want me to stop?”
My panic escalates at the thought. “No! I don’t want you to stop. I just…” I shake my head, not knowing what I need.
“Shh.” He drags his nose softly across my cheek, bringing his lips to my ear. “I love you, Anna.”
It turns out it was exactly what I needed to hear. A sob escapes me and I wrap my arms tight around him. “I love you, too. So much.”
“Feel me, baby.” He pushes in further, stretching me more than I thought possible. “Feel how much I love you.” His smooth baritone and kind words have me relaxing and some of my panic subsiding. “That-a-girl. Let me in, Anna. Let me love you the way you deserve.” Once he’s all the way in he stills and gives me time to adjust. “You okay?” he asks softly.
I think about his question for a moment. My heart still beats erratically but doesn’t have the fear or intensity behind it that it did before. “Yes, I am.”
Leaning down, he presses a soft kiss to my forehead. “Good, stay with me, baby.” He begins to thrust in and out of me, his strokes slow and cautious. His warm gaze holds me captive, not allowing me to look away even if I wanted to. I completely let go and revel in everything Logan. His scent, his taste, the way his hard body flexes under my hands as he moves inside of me with perfection. But most of all, I get lost in the way he looks down at me—as if I’m his entire world.
Any fear that still hovered from the dark memory immediately vanishes because this is so different. There is nothing scary or painful about this, it’s incredibly beautiful. A big smile takes over my face when I realize I’m finally doing the one thing I’ve wanted to do for so long, but feared I would never be able to. “We’re doing it. I’m doing it,” I voice my thoughts.
Without stopping his rhythm, Logan leans down and rests his forehead on mine. “Yeah, baby, we are and it’s perfect. You’re perfect.”
My smile spreads, and soon nothing else matters but the two of us and the way he makes me feel. I take in every detail I can, engraving it into my memory. From the way our skin melds together from sweat to how our bodies perfectly interconnect, as if they were made for one another.
I curl my leg over his lower back, bringing him deeper, and quickly realize I still have my shoes on. He groans when my heel digs into him. “Jesus, Anna, I want this to last forever but you feel too fucking good.”
I can tell he’s restraining himself. Curling a hand around his neck, I bring him down to my mouth and lick his bottom lip before pulling it between my teeth, something that I know drives him crazy. “Let go, Logan,” I whisper, before giving the tender flesh a sharp nip.
With a growl that’s exactly what he does. His pace increases but still remains gentle, then after a few more thrusts he stills deep inside of me and buries his face in my neck. I hold him close and revel in the intimacy of our hearts beating together as one.
In the midst of the beautiful silence I realize that, together, we’ve healed my soul. That the dark memory from so long ago has no control over me any more.
Tomorrow I will wake up and know the last person who was inside of me was the one I love. A guy whose touch brings me peace and pleasure, not terror and shame.
Hot tears begin slipping down my cheeks and my body wracks with silent sobs. Logan tenses but doesn’t call notice to it. He simply holds me closer and lets me release what I need to, something he has done many times over the last two years. Sometimes I swore if he hadn’t been there I would have fallen to pieces.
“I swear no one will ever hurt you again, Anna. I’d kill anyone who tries.”
I nod, knowing he means it. It’s been a promise he’s made to me from the beginning, and one that always brings me security.
I’ll never forget the day I met him. It was six months after I had returned home from the hospital in Germany. I was going through extensive group therapy, and I missed Jaxson terribly because he was the only person I felt safe with. I love my parents and I was so happy to be back with them, but even they didn’t make me feel safe. I was scared of everything and everyone.
On the first day back at school, the crowds and looks of pity I received became too much, so I ran. I ran faster and harder than I ever had before. I didn’t stop until my lungs burned fire and my legs gave out. I ended up at a secluded park that was abandoned, or so I thought. I was sitting by a tree, crying out my frustration and despair, when I looked up and saw Logan for the first time. He was leaning against his motorcycle smoking a cigarette, something I am glad he doesn’t do any longer. I was embarrassed that I had fallen to pieces in front of someone when I thought I was alone.
Our gazes locked as he watched me for several agonizing minutes, the debate evident on his face. He didn’t know whether to stay or leave. Who could blame him? I was a mess. Thankfully, he ended up choosing the latter. My heart lodged in my throat as he approached, but not out of fear—though I’m not sure what it was at the time.
He sat next to me, but not too close, as if he sensed I needed space. For the first few minutes he didn’t speak, we just sat in silence, but something about his presence was comforting. Maybe it was the fact that he exuded a lethal confidence, something at the time that reminded me of Jaxson. Whatever it was, it made me feel safe.
I had been the one to break the silence first and we ended up talking for hours. Not about anything in particular, but it was the everyday life stuff that made me feel normal for the first time in months. From there a connection was formed, something I had desperately needed. I don’t know what had made Logan so different, maybe it was his guarded blue eyes that showed me he had his own demons.
We ended up meeting in that exact spot almost every day and it wasn’t long before I knew, without a doubt that we were meant to meet, because together our broken pieces made a whole. Together, we made one.
“Thank you,” I whisper into his shoulder, not only thanking him for giving me this moment but for giving me back my life. For putting my broken pieces back together.
He brings his forehead to rest on mine. “I should be the one thanking you, Anna, not the other way around. You’re perfect and beautiful and for some reason you let me have you.”
I reach up and frame his face in my hands. “You will always have me.”
“Good, because even though I don’t deserve you, I won’t ever let you go.” I hate it when he says that, especially because he really believes it. Before I can tell him how wrong he is, he leans down and kisses me. “Come on, baby, let’s shower before bed.”
I instantly miss our connection when he slides out of me, but it’s replaced with warmth when he picks me up and carries me to the shower. We get underneath the hot spray together and Logan takes to washing me. Every touch and stroke is with delicate care, as if my body is made of glass. Although it’s not necessary, it makes me feel cherished.
When we crawl back into bed Logan pulls me against him. The flames from the fireplace keep the room at a soft glow and flickers over his strong face.
I can’t help but smile.
“What are you smiling about?” he asks, quirking his lips.
I wrap my arms around his neck, bringing myself closer to him. “Because you make me happy,” I tell him truthfully and brush my lips across his. “And because I get to wake up in your arms.”
I have never woken up in his arms before now because my father would have a conniption. Logan often sneaks into my room at night and holds me until I fall asleep. He stays until the early hours then leaves before my parents wake up. He started doing it when we first met because I was constantly being plagued by panic attacks, which were brought on by the nightmares. It was only his arms that helped me breathe through the terror and it wasn’t long before they stopped. As long as he was with me I felt safe.
“I found an apartment in the city that’s close to work,” he blurts out, breaking into my thoughts.
“You did?” He nods. “But what about your mom and sister?” I ask cautiously. This is territory I’m always careful about.