All the Feels (34 page)

HW: That is a fabulous superpower! I’d never have thought of that.
All the Feels
features a lot of cosplaying and a trip to Dragon Con, which I know you regularly attend. What do you like to cosplay as when you go?

DS: Well, I have a big list of things I’ve cosplayed. Usually it’s a character I’ve seen on television and just obsessed over. It doesn’t just have to be TV, either; it could be a movie. Like once I went as Marie Antoinette with these giant skirts. I have yet to go as Agent Carter, but I would
really
love to. Once I went as Six from
Battlestar Galactica
because I’m super tall.

It’s always just a neat way of representing this character who’s interesting. Not necessarily that you
like
, because I certainly don’t
like
Cersei Lannister—I have also cosplayed as her—but she is interesting, and it’s a fun way to represent yourself and what your interests are.

“The Swoon Reads Experience”

HW: What was your experience like on the Swoon Reads site?

DS: I had not had any experience with crowdsourcing before, so I had no idea how supportive the community would be. I posted
All the Feels
, and the very next day, there was someone saying, “I’m reading it and I really like these characters!” It was a weird feeling! In fact, it was a feeling I hadn’t had since writing for fandom years before. Because usually you write in this little tiny bubble and no one touches it. Then you send it out and two years go by and someone says, “Well, we can either do something with it or not.” But this was so different! It was this amazing, positive experience. These comments just would keep coming in, and I was able to interact with readers. It kind of bridged two worlds I loved.

HW: You used to write for fandom? What did you write?

DS: Oh, that vault is locked!

HW: I’m a huge fan of fanfic and fanfiction writers. It’s a great way of learning how to write.

DS: Exactly! I totally agree. And it’s interesting. There are a lot of amazing writers that are active in fandom. People who write as a career, and as you get to know them as a person, you’re like, “Whoa! I had no idea.” Yes, it’s like this secret place that’s just so perfect.

HW: Back to you and Swoon Reads, once your book was chosen, we swore you to secrecy. What was that like?

DS: I feel like I need a GIF to express my emotions here. Because of course it’s something you work
so hard
for—and I had written for many, many years—and this was HUGE. So it was really exciting. I just wanted to scream at everyone. Like, I would go into my regular job—which is a teacher—and I just wanted to shout to everybody. But of course I couldn’t tell anyone! Not even my mom, because I love my mom, but she can’t keep a secret for the life of her.

“The Writing Life”

HW: When did you first realize that you wanted to be a writer?

DS: Second year of university, I took a creative-writing class, kind of on a whim. Because while I really loved painting, I’d done some writing in high school—like fandom stuff—and I really enjoyed it, but I didn’t almost think of it as real. Like I felt like I was just playing in someone else’s sandbox. When I took that course, I had this amazing instructor, and I realized that I could actually write. It was this massive leap. Like it isn’t just playing anymore. You have someone to help shape it.

So I think that was the big step. And then the second step happened when I was writing this crazy master’s thesis, and I needed something to keep me sane. I couldn’t just write about research. It was making me crazy. So I would say to myself, “You have to write a thousand words about metadata,” but at the end of it, I was allowed to just play. I could write about whatever. I could write fanfic, I could write characters, I could write poetry—it didn’t matter. That would be my carrot. And it was amazing. So as I plotted my way through this master’s thesis, my other writing just grew and grew and grew, because it was the thing that I loved, and I was using it to keep me going.

HW: Do you have any rituals or anything you do to get yourself in the mood? Like, do you get writer’s block and then have to do something to switch yourself out of it?

DS: I have a couple things I do that are just kind of my things. Usually when I’m writing a story, I gather a box of items that I call my memory box. When I was writing
All the Feels
, I had a pocket watch in there. Just little things that I can draw on. I also create a cover and put it on a book and set it beside my bed so I have this little fake cover that I’m always looking at as I’m going to bed like, “You have to finish this book and make it real.” But my biggest ritual is just that I have to write every day. Even though it might be terrible, I have to write something.

HW: Where did you get the original idea for
All the Feels
? What sparked Liv and Xander?

DS: The two big sparks were: (1) I had a brother-in-law who, if he is not at work, is in cosplay. He is an amazing person, and I
love
that! Because of course I do cosplay whenever I’m at Dragon Con or a convention, but to cosplay as a way of life is a very different thing. And (2) I happen to be close personal friends with @CoulsonLives. She was the driving force that brought Agent Coulson back to life. When she saw
Marvel’s
The Avengers
where he gets killed off, she was like, “THAT IS NOT HAPPENING.” And she started this Internet movement to bring him back from the dead, where everything was hashtagged #CoulsonLives. And I saw her changing the world in a way and thought,
Wow, that is a really cool idea! I would love to write about that
. Not about her, of course, because she’s a private person, but what if you decided that canon is not going to be canon?
You’re
going to change it. So those two ideas together sort of bloomed into this beautiful little story that I loved writing.

HW: What is the best writing advice you’ve ever heard?

DS: At first, I gathered all these quotes, thinking I should use this one or that one, but for me, the best writing advice actually came from my dad, who is a hiker, and he would get us kids to go long distances with him. He would say, “Oh, it’s just over that hill,” and we’d be like, “Where?!” “Oh, just over that little turn there in the trail.” And we would go on these crazy-long torture hikes. But we would never really notice how long they were, because he was constantly lying to us and making us break it into little segments.

So when I was starting to write my thesis, I remember talking to my father and I was panicking, “Whoa, it’s a book! You have to write a book!” And I remember him saying, “Well, you just break it into little parts. You write sentences and you make them into paragraphs, and then you put them into chapters, and you do a few chapters and you’ve got your thesis.”

Although my father passed away before I really started doing novels, I really have always stuck to that approach. I just tell myself, “I’m going to write a thousand words today.” I never, never worry about where I’m going next; I just keep going forward. And I think that’s the best writing advice. You just have to keep going.

All
the
Feels

Discussion Questions

1.   Have you ever been devastated by the death of a fictional character? Who and why?

2.   Liv takes her fortune cookie fortunes very seriously. Do you have any superstitions?

3.   Liv is so upset by the end of the last
Starveil
movie that she takes it upon herself to start an online movement to change it. If you could change the ending of any book, TV show, or movie that you were disappointed by, which would it be and how would you change it?

4.   Xander is very into steampunk cosplay. If you could pick any era’s fashions to dress in, which would you choose?

5.   Liv and her fandom friends are so passionate about their fandom that they create their own fan content. Have you ever written fanfiction or made fanvids, photo manips, or other fandom-related creations? If so, what were they? And if not, what book, TV show, or movie would you like to create things for?

6.   Most of Liv’s friendships are conducted online, but Xander worries that she doesn’t socialize enough in real life. In your opinion, are online friendships any more or less beneficial than offline ones?

7.   After Liv’s fandom life takes off online, her mother becomes increasingly worried that it will negatively affect Liv’s schoolwork and ultimately forbids her from participating. Do you agree with Liv’s mother’s actions? Why or why not?

8.   When Liv first arrives at Dragon Con, she feels like she’s finally found “her people.” Have you ever had that experience? When and where?

9.   At Dragon Con, Liv finally meets Thomas Grander, who plays Matt Spartan, but he is not at all what she expects. Have you ever met a celebrity, and if so, were you surprised by what they were like in real life?

10.  If you were going to Dragon Con, who or what would you cosplay as? Why?

Maybe We've Had Better Ideas

It’s not until Friday afternoon that the idea of a “kiss cam” is taken seriously. I promptly dismissed the idea upon its initial suggestion, knowing that things could get out of hand if left up for discussion. The case was closed after that—or so I thought.

Things are starting to go haywire at our chosen lunch table. Lenny brings up the comments from our last vlog and begins coming up with an argument as to why we should do it. Jasper leans over the table to see the evidence himself and quickly tries to rope me into the idea.

“Juniper, it’s the absolute worst idea,” Allison remarks when it looks as though I’m going to give in.

I know it’s a bad idea—a funny and unpredictable idea, but a bad one, nonetheless. I know what she’s worried about, but there is no way anything between Jasper and me could develop now. We’re
just friends
for a reason. Why ruin a good thing with complications? I figured that out freshman year when he started dating Bree. I had a crush on him and I thought maybe he liked me back, but then he went and dated her instead. I decided then and there not to let him get to my head. Everything with him was just friendly, and feelings were never allowed. No complications meant no feelings could get hurt.

And kissing without the complication of feelings? What could be so bad about that?

I had previously thought I would never give my kisses away so easily, but after sifting through the comments, I have to admit our viewers’ reactions are worth it. There’s something thrilling about having people so invested in you. It’s like being persuaded onto a roller coaster you’d never dare to ride otherwise and ending up drowning in your own giggles as you swoop down a near-ninety-degree drop.

Plus, it’s fun reading about the excitement people get from a segment where their ship is smashed together by the lips. I’m a crowd-pleaser, to say the least, and it’s not even like Jasper and I are doing anything
bad
. Our viewers know that there’s nothing actually going on between us—they only
wish
there was. We’re being teases, and that’s what makes it exciting.

But Allison dropping her two cents into the piggy bank of opinions makes a good dose of reality shoot back into my system, and my excitement deflates like a balloon. She’s seen things go terribly wrong between Jasper and me before. Maybe she’s right and I can’t justify the idea the way I thought I could.

Sighing, I lean away from the computer screen. “She’s right. This
is
ridiculous.”

“We
all
know kissing between friends never goes well,” Allison tacks on.

“We’re
not
normal friends,” Jasper reminds her. “We live on the Internet, and this kind of thing happens on the Internet all the time.”