All the Feels (25 page)

“I’ll take the floor, m’lady. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do.”

“I never asked you to be a gentleman. And there’s plenty of room here.”

“Are you certain…? I’d be more than happy to provide you ample lodgings.”

“Get into bed, Xander! I’m not jumping you. I’m offering you a mattress.”

“I acquiesce under duress … but only say the word and I shall remove myself at once.”

“I’m fine. You’re fine. Mario thinks we’re nuts. Now go to bed.”

“Good night, dearest.”

“Night, Xander.”

She’d expected
something
after that point—even with the other people in the room—but he’d rolled away from her, and seconds later she’d been asleep.

With the last cobwebs of sleep torn away, the layout of the room returned. A faint glimmer of streetlight filtered in through the windows. On the other bed, Mario and Emma slept on. Liv rolled the other way. In the shadows, Xander’s eyes were the glint of two dark coins.

“I can move if you want,” he whispered.

“I’m fine,” Liv said, hoping the darkness of the room hid the smile on her face. “Sorry for waking you.”

A gentle hand brushed her hair. “No worries. I’m a light sleeper.”

“Do you want
me
to take a turn on the floor so you can have the bed to yourself?” she asked, hoping against hope that he’d say no. “You know … so
you
have more room?”

She felt his laughter rather than heard it. “You must be joking, dearest. There is no place I’d rather be than here.”

Liv rolled closer, tucking her head under Xander’s chin. She was warm and content, his arms around her.

“Go back to sleep,” he said, his voice softer now. “I’m fine.”

“I’m better than fine,” she sighed.

His fingers brushing over her hair were a comfort, lulling her. Tomorrow she’d consider what exactly was happening with Xander, but tonight she was happy to just
be
.

“Night, Xander,” she murmured.

“Night, dearest.”

And in minutes, she was wrapped in dreamless sleep.

13

“A SPARK COULD BE ENOUGH TO SET THEM ABLAZE.”

(
THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE
)

Liv woke to the sound of snoring.

The room was filled with diffuse light, the curtains slightly parted to reveal Atlanta’s skyline. She sat up, a tangle of sleep-rumpled hair falling across her face. Liv was cold—inexplicably so—and she turned to discover Xander had rolled to the far side of the bed, his black hair half-hidden by a pile of covers. Disappointment filled her chest.

She’d
hoped
to wake in his arms.

Liv slid from the shared bed, moving carefully to avoid waking Xander. As she crossed around to the other side of the room, she snuck a peek at him. His eyes were closed, a half grin on parted lips. The word
debauched
floated to mind, and Liv felt her cheeks redden, but she closed herself in the bathroom instead of following the thought to fruition. At the time, she’d taken their midnight snuggling in stride, but in the bright glare of morning, she was far less certain about her actions.

What in the world was she doing with Xander? Of more concern, what was
he
doing with her? Liv had known for some time that she had developed a huge crush on Xander. But she wasn’t entirely certain he shared the depth of her feelings. He’d come to bed last night, but he hadn’t kissed her, and though there was a definite spark to their interactions, Xander
always
flirted with her. Actually, Liv thought, he always had. Even when Arden had been in the picture, the two of them had had a continuous banter. But did it actually mean anything?

Xander flirts with everyone!

With that uneasy thought in mind, Liv showered and dressed as she sifted through past events for some hint of Xander’s feelings. Liv wasn’t good at just “going with the flow.” If overthinking was a skill, she was an expert in the field.

“Coffee will help,” she muttered as she headed from the room and down to the Marriott’s lobby.

The atrium was already buzzing, and Liv people-watched as she waited in line. Several
Starveil
cosplayers passed by, and Liv felt her anxiety rise. Her hands were sweaty by the time she placed her order. Today was the big
Starveil
panel! And though Liv was desperate to attend, she was nervous about seeing Tom Grander again. It belatedly struck her that while she always thought of the man as Spartan, that was only the character.

By the time she returned, Emma and Mario were awake and dressed. The second Emma had joined them in their room, and Xander was just finishing his shower. She handed him a paper cup as he emerged from the bathroom.

“Coffee,” she announced.

Xander brushed her fingers as he took it from her grip. “You know your way to a man’s heart,” he said with a wink. “This is the second one I owe you, dearest. I’ll have to come up with a suitable way to show my thanks.”

Too flustered to answer, Liv passed out the other cups to Emma and Mario, and foisted her own drink on the extra Emma in the room. She bit back a smile as Xander took his first sip and sighed: “Perfect. Absolutely perfect.” Perhaps caffeine wasn’t the
only
way to put her in a good mood.

The first part of the morning was spent at a small independent-film session in the bowels of one of the smaller hotels. Xander played on his phone, apparently “checking his schedule” while Liv scribbled notes about internships and the Hollywood film system as fast as she could. The team that hosted the panel was part of a group of independent filmmakers who had collaborated on several music videos and a short science-fiction film that had made it all the way to Sundance. Leaving the room, Xander offered Liv his arm.

“Feeling like you’ve found your own kind?” he asked.

Grinning, Liv slid her hand into the crook of his elbow. (When had
this
become the way they walked? she wondered.) “Something like that,” she said. “I might try to contact them sometime. I think that’s the kind of thing I could do after college.”

“Aha—that sounds suspiciously like schoolwork.”

“Only a tiny bit.” She giggled.

“Then no more for the rest of the day.”

“It’s a deal.”

Lunch took place at the Peachtree Center, where Liv and Xander had to practically fight a group of ninjas to get a table at the food court. Afterward, they took a trip down to the vendor room to purchase fandom items. For the most part, Liv had become acclimatized to the crowds jostling her everywhere she went, but the dealer room felt like arriving in yet another level of compression. Walking room was at a premium. The crowd moved at a plodding pace, and you either kept up with the crowd or were jostled along without your consent. Salesmen hawked television and movie memorabilia at every table. Any geeky accessory you might want, any retro item from your childhood you wished to recapture, any slogan or costume, could be found at small booths that ran in a grid throughout the room. She felt like a child in a candy store, her eyes widening with each step. Liv planned to buy a T-shirt or two, but when a sweaty teen rubbed up against her, Liv’s focus became on escape.

She turned to catch Xander’s eye:
“Out!”
she mouthed.

With a nod, they began to ford against the stream. It took half again as long, and twice Liv felt like she was going to scream, but they finally made it out the main doors.

“I hate this part of con,” Liv said. She rubbed her sweat-slicked arm with the other sleeve and shuddered. “That many sweaty people is just gross.” She looked longingly back at the room. “Maybe I’ll come back later. There were such cool things in there.”

“I hate to tell you, Liv, but it’s always like that in the vendor rooms.”

Liv hung her head. “Dragnat all!”

“Were you looking for something in particular?”

“The new
Starveil
shirt,” she said sheepishly. “The one that says ‘There’s More Than One Escape Pod on a Ship.’”

“Wonder why,” Xander teased.

“I heard from Joe that someone on Etsy actually made a Malloy T-shirt,” Liv added. “People are wearing your face on their chests now.”

It was Xander’s turn to look longingly at the room. “You wait,” he said, “I’m going back in.”

He disappeared into the crowd, and Liv was left alone in the hallway. Bored, she flicked through the Dragon Con scheduler on her phone. Tonight was the Steampunk Ball Xander had persuaded her to attend with him and his friends. Trouble was, Liv had nothing to wear. She sighed and flicked backward, scanning alerts. The big
Starveil
panel was this afternoon. At any other con, the
Starveil
panel would be second choice to many others, but after MRM’s hints at an announcement, it was anticipated to be one of the biggest of the entire convention. Joe had already texted Liv to say she and Brian were in line; a few
Starveil
fangirls were tagging them out for bathroom breaks throughout the day.

Liv chewed her lower lip. Tom Grander was slated to be at this panel. The idea of seeing Grander again left Liv fighting a mixture of unease and ebullience. She adored the character of Spartan! Tom Grander, however, was another thing.… A flurry of movement distracted her and she looked up.

She could see it was Xander, but her brain refused to process the thought. It was him, and yet it
wasn’t
. The young man who approached was no longer dressed in a tailcoat and linen shirt. He wore a bright blue T-shirt with “Major Malloy Sent Me” emblazoned across his chest, velvet jacket hanging over his arm. Xander’s hair was messed from its regular pompadour and hung in tangles across his forehead. The entire effect was unsettling.

“You’re staring,” he said drily.

Liv closed her mouth, averting her gaze. “I just like the shirt.”

“I’m sure you do, since you’re the reason for it.” He chuckled. “And here’s another thing that’ll boost your ego. This one’s yours.” He pulled a bright green “escape pod” shirt from the bag. “I guessed at your size.”

Liv groaned. “I’m not a medium.”

“I made sure it was a woman’s cut, so it takes account of the curves. I still think it’ll fit.”

“It won’t,” Liv argued. “I take a large.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Do too.”

Xander sighed. “I spend all my time selecting costumes. Trust me, Liv. You’ll fit this medium shirt much better than a large.”

Liv crossed her arms, scowling. “Will not.”

He stepped closer, his smile turning devilish. “Liv, dearest, I promise you I am well acquainted with your delightful curves. This shirt is perfect.”

Liv tried to come up with a retort, but she was tongue-tied by the thought of Xander looking at her. She shook her head, feigning annoyance.

“I will buy you a new one if it’s not,” Xander said. “But please, Liv. Just try it on before you make me head back into Dante’s inferno.”

Liv stomped to the nearby washrooms. “It’ll never fit!”

“Try!”

But when Liv finally came out of the stall and looked at herself in the mirror, she had to agree. The shirt fit beautifully: loose enough over her breasts but nipping in at the waist. (A waist she rarely noticed she had.) Liv schooled her face into displeasure as she emerged from the bathroom. She’d be damned if she’d tell him that.

When she reached the hallway, Xander was staring into the vendor hall. He looked, Liv realized, as uncomfortable in his new clothes as she did. He turned as she neared, and a wide grin crossed his face.

“I told you it’d fit!”

“Yes, but I’m only wearing it on one condition.”

His brows drew together. “Condition?”

“That you wear
your
T-shirt, too.”

“Already am.”

“Yes,” Liv said, her eyes sparkling. “But you have to wear yours to the
Starveil
panel.”

*   *   *

The
Starveil
lineup was already down the street when Liv arrived. Brian, Joanne, and most of the Spartan troop were waiting at the front.

“I told you Brian was our secret weapon,” Joe said. “He kept you a spot.”

“Thanks, Brian.” Liv slid into line beside them. “That’s nice of you.”

“We’re going to get great seats,” Joe announced. “I’m going to record everything and upload it to YouTube as soon as the panel ends.”

“Cool,” Liv said. “I’m sure the fans will appreciate that.” She looked back down the line, which snaked through the hallway and out the door. “My God, Brian. What time did you arrive? There’s got to be three thousand people here.”

“Security wouldn’t let me line up until three,” Brian grumbled. “But I waited out their rounds, then went back again. I was here as soon as lineups began.”

“You’ve been here for three hours. That’s crazy!”

Brian gave her a dead-eyed stare. “Hardly. I’ve been here since three this morning.”

Liv’s laughter died in her throat. “Well … thanks. I owe you one.”

Joe peered behind Liv. “So where’s your boyfriend, Xander?”

“I … um…” Liv fumbled with her reply. Should she correct Joe and admit she and Xander weren’t officially together, or should she let the misunderstanding go? “He ran to the parade, but he should be here shortly,” she said. “There’s a group of them going together. Xander texted me to say someone built a working steampunk hovercraft.”

“You should have told him to meet up with us,” Joe said. “I’ve been telling everyone about him.”

“He’ll be here.” Liv glanced down the line and frowned. “At least he should be…” As she said the words, her phone buzzed.